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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Repost: By Special Request!

Over a year ago, I posted the following entry on my old MySpace blog. (Jeeez, now that I've been here for a while, I can't believe I blogged on that site for so long. Blech!) I also put it on FetLife, but my buddy Zelle has requested that I repost this on here, for those who aren't Fet members and for my new readers who didn't see it the first time. Sooooo... if you're already seen this, my apologies, and you can blame it on Zelle! ;-)  (Kidding, honey!) And if it's new to you, hope you enjoy it.

So, without further ado, here is a repost of Proper Behavior During a Spanking: Erica Style. You can consider it another installment of Erica's Helpful Hints.

I've been reading more blogs lately. A while ago, a snippet from a DD (Domestic Discipline) blog was posted in a blog entry called This and That, a collection of snippets from several blogs. Following are five rules, according to DD/HoH (Head of Household) practitioners, for proper behavior during a spanking:

1. One must lie still during chastisement, and not attempt to wiggle out of the way of the spanking.

2. One must not try to block with her hands. This is so dangerous, especially if an implement is being used.

3. Unless you are asked a question you should remain silent, other than repentant tears and sobs.

4. Do not attempt to fight a punishment. If you are told to lie over your HOH's knee so he may begin, just do it.

5. For HOH's: lecture, lecture, lecture. This is one of the most critical things in DD. A lecture can make a difference between tears and stoic behavior.

Mind you, I am not posting these to ridicule them. Clearly, there are folks who follow these rules and believe in them. Whatever works. However, for those of us who are on the not-so-submissive side, these rules are not applicable. Therefore, as a public service, I hereby offer my own version of How To Behave During a Spanking.

1. You are not a sack of potatoes. Kick those legs. Pound the carpet/bed/couch. Squirm. Wriggle. You're going to get spanked anyway, so why make it so damned easy for the top?

2. Reaching back with your hands is not a good idea. Not because it annoys the top, but your hand might get clobbered and that really hurts. So keep them in front of you. Of course, if a wayward elbow or fist happens to connect with the top's shin, that's OK.

3. This is a spanking, not a visit to the library. You don't have to be quiet. Use your voice. Scream and yell. Fuss, cuss and whine. The only exception to this is if your top asks you to repeat some ridiculous phrase, like "Thank you, Sir." Then you should remain silent. Or improvise. If you're clever, you can make "Fuck you, Sir" sound sort of like "Thank you, Sir." They're both one-syllable words that end with k.

4. Put up a little resistance beforehand. Why should you accept your fate with such stoicism? It's going to hurt either way; at least you'll have the pride of knowing you tried to avoid it. Argue, reason, plead, refuse to cooperate. Don't remove your own clothing. If he wants anything up/down/off, he can do it himself.

5. Tops: Scold all you like. Just bear one thing in mind -- no matter what you say, all we hear is blah blah blah.

6. Bonus tip: Implements are wretched things and deserve no respect whatsoever. If one is placed within your reach, fling it across the room. If one is broken on you, gloat and cheer. If your top asks you to kiss one, blow raspberries on it.

So, what did we learn? How about a little pop quiz?

1. When a top asks you, "Why am I spanking you?", you answer: a. Because I was a bad girl, Sir. b. I don't know. c. Because you're an ass.

2. If a top says, "Stop kicking!" you: a. Stop kicking immediately. b. Tearfully plead, "But it hurts, Sir, I can't help it." c. Snap, "Stop spanking!"

3. When a top tells you to pull down your panties, you: a. Immediately pull them down, and take off your dress for good measure. b. Look at him pleadingly and say, "Please, not my panties!" c. Snap, "Pull them down yourself! Is your hand broken?"

4. If a top asks, mid-spanking, if you have anything to say, you reply: a. I'm sorry, Sir. b. Please, no more, it hurts. c. Yes. Go f*** yourself.

5. If a top bruises/blisters his hand spanking you, you: a. Kiss his hand, then promptly fetch him an implement to finish the job. b. Promise you'll be better, so next time he won't have to spank so hard. c. Laugh your head off and call him Edward Sissyhands.

I don't think I need to post an answer key -- y'all know me well enough to know what the right answers are.

No need to thank me for this PSA, folks. I am here for you.


  1. Hilarious! Absolutely hilarious! Way to go, Erica! And, yes, I know the answers to your little quiz. ;-D

    Thanks for reposting.

  2. Bobbie Jo -- glad you liked. :-)

  3. Oh thank you for reposting this Erica! The first time I read it, I had a drink in my hands that I was sipping.. and immediately started spewing everywhere!! You really DO need a warning label before every blog! ROFLMAO!!

    So, No matter how many times I read this.. I will laugh my ass off.. because I can hear your voice uttering all responses to a Top.. using "C" for all your answers! What have I learned from all this?? That you damn sure give a Top a "run for the roses".. AND,.. to have my drink sitting way off to the side each time I read this!

  4. Thank you for the wonderful laugh, Erica! This post is really hilarious! :-)

    On a more serious note: I am obviously much more obedient during a spanking than you. I guess that's partly because of my personality, partly because of my spanking fantasies (I like to be the proud and restrained girl) and partly because I often enjoy the spanking too much to pretend that I don't... ;-) But when I read your rules, it was clear how much they fit to you and the pictures of you doing and saying these things made me grin! It's great to see how different people are and it is a lot of fun to read your posts and accounts because you are so full of wit. :-)

  5. Having spanked a few lasses in my life, I find the stoic ones to be boring. Happily, I am married to your distant cousin whose quips during a session resemble yours. She keeps me laughing for sure.

    Thanks for a fun Monday morning post.

  6. Edward Sissyhands - ROFLMAO! I love your rules. I'm usually quite silent and reserved, but that changes when I'm being spanked. Ron usually tells me to shut up! Not that I do, of course.

    Why would anyone try to cover their bottom with their hands and stop that delicious sensation?


  7. Yes, Erica, if you are naughty and your ever loving boy friend thinks you should be given a good spanking on your bare bottom, your comments a year ago are certainly justified. And as the Puritan's might has said a few centuries ago. "Let Thy bottom be bared, for thou doe'st deserve a righteous good spanking"

  8. Oh my goodness that was hilarious Erica. first read for me. You are not a sack of potatoes. Kick those legs, I can't help kicking and wriggling, so I get spanked harder :)

    Thanks Erica and thanks to Zelle for requesting you repost it.


  9. This really made me laugh. Fantastic.

  10. OMG that was hilarious my Erica i laughed so hard hehehe LOL. all the answer's to the quiz are C, i know you VERY well and i totally agree with your spanking style, it's VERY COOL :-) I know you will have lot's of fun bratting NG tonight hehehe i can't wait to hear about it i look forward to it because it's funny and make's me laugh. I Love You big hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

  11. I must say this.. "sixofthebest" left a neat quote in our midst.. LOVE THIS!

    "Let Thy bottom be bared, for thou doe'st deserve a righteous good spanking"

    So then I'll ASSume I can put on my best sanctimonious smile then? LOLOLOL

  12. From Annapurna


    What a scream you are! I passed your test with flying colors, so I guess I’m not a candidate for a DD relationship!

    I especially liked the part about resisting, for it brought to mind a YouTube video featuring a smallish woman going for her 5th Dan black belt in Aikido. Her opponent, a much larger man and a fellow black belt holder, was literally thrown around the mat by her like a rag doll.

    So picture this: your DD top wants to spank you and you say, “Not so fast buster!” and then you proceed to throw him around a bit before saying, “You can spank me now, but you must remember to be a good little boy or I’ll break your arm!”

  13. Zelle -- (laughing) I do hope I haven't ruined too many keyboards and monitors. Reader beware!

    Kaelah -- I'm so glad you laughed as opposed to taking offense! (beaming) I honestly meant none... I'm outspoken and snippy sometimes, but I don't mean disrespect. (Oh, and I do tend to exaggerate just a wee bit for humor, too...) ;-)

    OBB -- stoicism has its place in D/s, I know this. But I just can't pull it off. Although when I'm in subspace, I do quiet down a fair bit! :-)

    Hermione -- I don't get the hands-back thing myself, either. However, on camera, I remind myself to do it, because people like to see it (especially when the spanker grabs the hand and pins it to the side!).

    six -- yeah, those Puritans, they sure knew how to have a good time. ;-)

    Ronnie -- my feet come up of their own accord, like a reflex. I don't do it on purpose, really I don't!

    Lorraine -- love to make people laugh!

    Jade -- yup, all C's, of course; you do know me!

    Zelle -- you can smile because you know how to use (and spell) sanctimonious! :-D

    Annapurna -- ah, but I'm a wimp, physically. All my power is in my tongue. (shut up out there, I hear what you're thinking!)

  14. I love this!
    I am going to make sure that Dev reads it and when he questions my behaviour I will say to him that I learned it all from you. You are a shining beacon and the very best of examples for all girls that get spanked.
    Dev is just going to love you extra special.
    Tee hee.

    (I have been known to make a raft for an implement and float it in the middle of the pool- what matters in this case is the anchor, it must stay dead centre because otherwise it is far too easy to reach. The freezer is a good hiding place for plastic rulers, they make excellent drink decorations.)

  15. There are some things, like Marx Bros movies and episodes of "I Love Lucy" that are always entertaining, no matter how often rerun. Likewise, here! Thanks!

  16. Brilliant!

    I smiled almost all the time while reading your post.

    > You are not a sack of potatoes
    > This is a spanking, not a visit to the library

    So true! I don't like when people are stoic and a spanking is like hitting dead meat.

  17. You cause way to much rebellion with this kind of post you know ! Come here you sexy sack of potatoes ! ;-D LOLOLOL

    I hope you get soooooooo spanked tonight that you cant sit all day tomorrow ! "grins"

  18. Thanks for the repost Erica.. I absolutely agree with YOUR modified responses and could never see myself doing anything but laughing and rolling my eyes at the supposed 'proper' version of how to behave during a to be so still and quiet.. I think he'd think I had lapsed into a coma.

    Always enjoy your posts :)

  19. Poppy -- you may want to edit it just a wee bit. Devlin will NOT approve of some of the language. (grinning)

    Dave -- oh good! Glad the repeat wasn't tedious. :-D

    Anonymous -- thank you very much!

    Alan -- oh, nonsense. I do not cause any such thing. I'm simply suggesting alternatives. :-)

    Suzy -- thanks! Yeah, what fun is a comatose bottom, really?

  20. If this damn post isn't CHROSSED .. then we're all going in the wrong direction.. LOL

  21. Once again you have proven that you are the perfect brat with a great sense of humor. If I was spanking and you didn't talk back I would feel cheated out of the true Erica Scott Experience.

    And just to comment on the blogs you posted last weekend. Whether you get spanked or not you really Rock a Red Dress.

    Thanks again for your wit and sexiness.


  22. Jon -- :-) Thank you. The Erica Scott Experience -- too funny!

  23. I remember very specifically commenting on this before. I think you're really painting an inappropriate picture of what behavior is proper in a scene. I think you owe an apology to your readers. They are likely to suffer if they follow your so-called advice.

  24. Craig, Craig, Craig -- I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm going to assume that my readers are intelligent enough to recognize tongue-firmly-planted-in-cheek when they read it. :-D

  25. Erica, you are a shining example, as Poppy says, of doing exactly what will get Poppy in even more trouble if she follows said example. You did however redeem yourself somewhat by pointing out that four-letter words would not work for her at ALL, probably since you know me so well.

    On the other hand, you did manage to make her inordinately proud of some really naughty escapades in the past, which got her into loads of trouble. I will be speaking to her about that later.

    But really, Erica? Edward Sissyhands? That's the sort of comment that sent me looking for the Shadow Lane hairbrush. ;-)

  26. Devlin -- (giggling) Yes, really. That was my nickname for Danny for quite a while after he blistered his hand on me.