Correspondence Hall of Shame, The Halloween Edition

Boo! Did you really think I was going to disappear and cease all my snarking and sniping just because I am temporarily laid low? Au contraire. And really, what better day than Halloween for bringing on the freak show? Just three of 'em today, but they are good ones.

I AM A SADIST WITH 45 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!!!!
I am single no baggage no wifes of girl friend.
I'm Master Xxxx and I am also looking for Sadist/masochist relationship. I have 40 years experience as a Dominant Master and have owned two slaves/wives for over 10 years each in the past. Now for my true love.. I'm very controlling.. very strict.. and there's no limits.. I enjoy bondage. gags. nipple clamps. all sizes of dildos.. plugs.. anal and oral sex. I love forced sex.. .. I love using blackmail.. I love single women.. and also college girls.. if you want to know anything just ask.. and I love making your bottom red....Love young bi slut ...Will make you my whore.. and make you my pet.

First, make up your damn mind. Is it 45 years, or 40? If you can't even keep track of how many years you've been doing this, I don't have high hopes for you.

No wifes of girl friend? I would hope your girl friend doesn't have wifes. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but California frowns on bigamy. One wife, OK. 

Let's review... you love college girls and young bi sluts. I haven't been a college girl since freaking 1981, I'm not young, and sorry, but I'm all about the sausage, not the taco. You're barking up the wrong tree.

damn seeing all those videos of u gettim spank get me horny, I think u just made me discover a new fetish for me xD

Oh no... say it isn't so. I don't want to be responsible for your new fetish. Or your state of hornitude.

And finally, how's this for irresistible?

Turn fantasy into Real Life
The scenario will play out as follows, One of us will pick you up at the airport and be your driver. He will drive you towards our secluded place, then stop at a store or gas station, where a few of the others will then invade the car, blindfold and cuff you. You will then be driven on to the secluded place. While in route you will be groped,fondled and fingered to get your adrenalin flowing for the events that will be taking place upon your arrival. When they get you to your destination, you will be carried in and tied across a table where your clothes will be ripped and torn from your body. You again will be groped and fondled with toys, hands and tongues until you are on the verge of orgasm. You will then be untied from table and taken to and restrained in an open doorway, where while being lightly flogged on one side, your nipples and labia will be fitted with clamps on the other. Once fitted and flogged, you will again be bound across the table and your groping and fondling will continue again until you are about to orgasm, this time you will be taken by your arms and legs and stretched out, one Dom for each arm and leg. The 5th Dom will be between your legs and will thrust his hard cock deep inside you and fuck you while the 6th Dom will be force feeding you his hard cock, before cumming the 5th and 6th Doms will rotate with the Dom on your left and you again will be fucked and force fed more cock. This will continue till all Doms have had a turn at your pussy and mouth. When everyone has had his turn, you will be laid back on table, but this time face down and the rotation begins again, with you being fucked in which ever hole the Dom wishes to penetrate. Again this will continue until all have used you and also will shoot his load either deep inside you, down your throat, or shower you with it. This will conclude the first day and you will be allowed to bathe and we will eat. You will then be restrained again when time for sleep. During the night, if a Dom feels the urge, he will come in and use you as he wishes.
No, I do not have pic on profile, I am a professional business man and wish for no exposure on this site, I will happily share my photo with you privately.
PS, We only play by our subs limits, respect the hard ones and test all the others and we cover all travel expenses

Holy crap.

I had to go back and reread my profile after this one. I had to make double-damn sure that I hadn't somehow included getting gangbanged by six rotating Doms as one of my fantasies. Oooh, I'd be allowed to bathe! Magnanimous little fuckers, aren't they?

You respect all hard limits, huh? Well, guess what. Pretty much everything you wrote in that pile of dreck above is a hard limit. You are a hard limit. Go. Away.

Because it's Halloween, I dug through the archives and found a photo from about 10 years ago at a party. Two girlfriends and I had gotten three uber-tacky costumes -- a hot dog, mustard, and ketchup -- and we called ourselves The Wienerettes. I was mustard. Here is a shot of me looking like I'm singing, but actually, I was loudly protesting the fact that I was about to be the first to experience that large red paddle you see off to my left. 

So. They say the first two weeks after this surgery are the worst, and I'm entering the second. Keep reminding me that I wanted this, guys, will ya? Right now I feel like my head and neck are going to explode, and I want to break every mirror in the house because I can't stand the sight of myself. You read and read and read about how it's going to be, and you think you're ready, but nothing quite prepares you for looking like the bride of Frankenstein. But this too shall pass.

Have a great weekend, y'all, and a safe and happy Halloween.

Erica 2.0

Hunker down, folks. Grab your coffee or your Red Bull or whatever. This will be long.

(deep breath) So where have I been? (Oh, were you gone?)

I could make something up. I could simply say nothing and say I'm on hiatus. I could keep my private life completely private. But... why start now.

I have always endeavored to be who I am on here; not just Erica the spanko, but Erica the whole person. And so I take the risk here, setting myself up for judgment, for snark, for jokes, whatever... because I believe that good will come of it too. That my honesty will resonate with others. And really, there's no hiding this anyway.

Last Thursday, I had surgery. I had what's known in the medical field as a rhytidectomy.

The rest of y'all know it as a facelift.

Yup, I did it. After a whole lot of agonizing over it, discussing it, researching it, and thinking about it non-stop, I went for it. 

Why? So many reasons. Some positive, some negative, some personal, some societal. But all mine.

Let's be straightforward here: I am a product of my environment. I grew up in Beverly Hills, in a family involved in Hollywood. Looks were emphasized in my life as far back as I can remember. My mother was beautiful. My stepmother was beyond stunning. My poor mother, always hyper-vigilant about her looks, had practically every procedure known to mankind in her lifetime. She had her face lifted twice, her eyes done twice. She had a nose job, a boob job. She had liposuction and laser peels. And yet, she was never happy with her looks. Or mine. 

I can still hear her voice, and sadly, it became my own inner voice. "Don't make that face; it will cause wrinkles." "When are you going to get that thing under your eye removed?" "Are you using enough sunscreen? You're getting brown spots." "Why don't you get your nose fixed?" Sometimes when I was at her house, and putting on makeup, she'd stand behind me, staring into my face in the mirror. I could feel her scrutinizing it. I catch myself doing the same thing, and I hate that in myself. But it is what it is.

I live in Southern California. People are not supposed to age here, especially women. I could go on a long diatribe about the media and supermodels and imagery vs. reality and ageism and yadda yadda, but I've said it all before and it doesn't bear repeating. It, too, is what it is. I'm not going to change society. I just have to live comfortably within it, and in my own skin.

Here's where it gets more personal. I am a very youthful 57 years old. I don't feel my age, and I don't want to look it, either. I work out, I keep fit and strong. I do not have ridiculously lofty expectations -- I know I will not look 30 again. But there is something so disconcerting about feeling younger and vibrant, and then seeing an old(er) face in the mirror. If I could make the visage coincide a bit more closely with the image I have within, then I was going to do it. 

I can hear what some of my readers are thinking right now, the ones who haven't met me in person, the ones who just see my pictures. "What are you talking about?? You don't look old!" Ah, but remember, it's the Internet. You see what I allow you to see. What you don't know is that for every picture I show, there are about two dozen that I delete. What you don't know is that I use my photo-enhancing software to soften my wrinkles a little, to blot out my age spots. But OK, I'm no expert with that program and I can actually do very little. So what else do I do?

I smile. I make damn sure I'm smiling, when I show my face. Because when I smile, my face transforms. Everything lifts. 

However, when I'm not smiling, when my face is neutral? I have what's known in today's slang as "resting bitch face." What is that? Pretty self-explanatory, really. When I don't smile, gravity takes over. The corners of my mouth droop down, my lower face sags. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked what's wrong, am I angry, etc., when I feel perfectly fine. Because when my face is at rest, I naturally look sad and/or pissed off. Not attractive. And who goes around smiling every fucking minute? Certainly not a grouch like me.

And then there's the matter of the turkey wattle on my neck. 

Don't believe me? Here's an example of one of my tricks.

She's showing off her butt -- but what is she hiding?

See what I did there? Notice the clever placement of my shoulder, my hand. I look flirtatious and peek-a-boo-ish... but what I'm actually doing is hiding my lower face.

Well. Not hiding anymore. Here is my lower face at rest, in all its glory. This is what people saw when they asked me if I was OK. And I swear, I am not frowning here.

"Oh come on, Erica, you're pushing your face down to make your neck look bad." OK, here's another view, head slightly raised.

Admit it, kids. You've heard of Sad Sack? I was Sad Sag.

Yeah, I know. We're supposed to age gracefully. Accept the changes. Looks are just surface; it's what inside that counts. I'm beautiful to the people who love me. Cosmetic surgery is superficial and vain and pathetic. Bring it. I've heard it all. And you know what? I don't care. Do I wish I simply didn't give a rat's ass about my looks and could happily grow old and gray and wrinkly and look upon my sexy days in the rearview mirror? Sure. It would be a lot easier and a hell of a lot less expensive. But I thought about this long and hard, and I know deep in my gut that I did not do this for the wrong reasons. I didn't do it to fix my life, to feel good about myself. I already feel pretty good about myself, for the most part. I wanted to feel better. And yes, look better.

Very few people knew about this beforehand. I have itched and ached and yearned to blog about this, because it was so all-consuming in my life for a month or so leading up to it, but I chose not to. Because, as wise friends warned me, some people would try to talk me out of it, tell me negative stories. And, while there would be plenty of supportive comments too, I would focus on the negative ones the most. Because that's what I do.

It was a busy few weeks. I had pre-op appointments, blood work, a lot of i's to dot and t's to cross. I had to clear all the work out of my schedule. I had to make sure my schedule aligned with John's so that he could be available to pick me up. I had the surgery on Thursday, stayed overnight at an aftercare facility, saw the doc on Friday, and then went home Friday afternoon. It was John's Friday off (he has every other Friday off), so all was good. I did laundry, cleaned, ran every errand I could think of, paid the bills.

Our first snafu happened in the form of good news. John has been haggling with his HMO for the past several months, trying to get in to see the head of cardiac surgery. They kept putting him off and giving him the runaround, but he kept pushing and pushing until they finally caved and gave him the much-coveted appointment to see the head honcho. When? Last Friday at 1:00. Just before he was due to pick me up. Aggggh! 

Plan B was to wait at the doc's until he could get there (they told me it would be OK and they had a room they could put me in so I could lie quietly), and Plan C was to take a cab home. But then Steve volunteered to come pick me up and get me home. Lovely, lovely friend. ♥  John got through his appointment and actually had some good news to bring home to me, but I'll go more into that later.

John stayed with me over the weekend, brought me flowers and tasty treats to try to tempt my appetite. I had to take antibiotics and pain meds with codeine, and all I wanted to do was sleep, but I did manage to get some food into me. Fortunately, I have never had nausea or bad after-effects from anesthesia, so I didn't have to suffer with that. But it was hard to open my mouth, and hard to chew. So he bought me strawberry yogurt, teriyaki salmon, soup. 

There's a lot more work that goes into a facelift than you might think. I've certainly learned a lot. I won't bore you with the details, but it's major surgery involving a whole lot of nerves. You don't come of it looking like an after-picture. You look like... well, you look beat up. It's not pretty. I have stitches in front of my ear, under my chin, and running around the back of my ears and into the hairline. I had drains inserted in my neck for the first 24 hours (and if you've never experienced that, all I can say is don't). My face is swollen and round and tight, and my neck is very bruised. I can't feel my ears. When he cut into the back of my scalp, some hair was cut off underneath, on both sides. That hair matted into the rest of my hair, and then was covered up with the bandages. On Friday, after I got the bandages removed, I was allowed to go home and wash my hair. Clumps of the cut hair came off in my hands. I knew this was going to happen, but it still was creepy to see.

The right side of my face is more swollen than the left, my right jaw hurts, I can't raise my right eyebrow, and when I smile, the right side of my mouth doesn't go up as much as the left. I saw the doc this morning. He assured me, over and over, that it was simply the nerve trauma he'd been telling me about. The face is rich with nerves -- motor and sensory. The motor nerves, which are larger and control the muscles, are visible in surgery, and doctors are very careful to avoid them. But the smaller, sensory nerves get cut -- hence the pain, the swelling, the tingling, and the numbness. Right now, it's like the right side of my face got an extra three doses of lidocaine at the dentist. This will resolve. When, is the question. Could be next week. Or next month. My job right now is to wait, to be patient, to take good care of myself and heal. And not let my mind go to bad places. The doctor was so very kind, and he said that he's dealt with this before. It's not quite as common (the asymmetry), but it's all superficial nerve damage and it will all regenerate. 

"How do you KNOW?" I blurted. He wasn't offended. "How do I know?" he answered. "Because I was inside there. I saw all those motor nerves. I know none of them were damaged. I know this is scary, and I wish I could give you an instant pill or something, but this will pass. Everything looks good overall, and honestly, you look better overall than most people do after a week."

Meanwhile, he gave me the good news that I don't have to take the codeine anymore, that I can go back to Advil, which will help with the inflammation and swelling. I didn't like the codeine; it made me lightheaded. I can't blow-dry or style my hair, so I'm just washing it, putting it in a ponytail and putting on a bandanna. Next week, I will go back and get all the stitches out.

What price vanity? So, I will be a hermit for a while. Certainly no play for me for a good while, no fun spanky posts. What the hell... haven't been Chrossed in over a month anyway, no matter what I posted. I just can't keep up with the Tumblr blogs, and I've given up trying. People will read me if they want to read me. I will be posting about my progress, about my feelings, about my ups and downs in this latest journey. And I DO want to get back to fun and play, not to mention the gym, not to mention a gazillion other little things one takes for granted when one isn't in the middle of surgery recovery (like being able to turn my head, sleep on my side, eat a sandwich). But all in good time.

FetLife goes on without me; I haven't posted there either. Everyone had a blast at Crimson Moon and is now talking about the next event. I was feeling isolated and apart from the scene before, for various reasons, and now I'm sure I will feel even more so during this exile, but it can't be helped. I don't really feel like joining in anyway. Friends are busy and lives go on. Mine has sort of stopped right now, but I can't expect others to stop with me. I don't need grand gestures, or a lot of anyone's time. I can only hope for some support, a few kind and encouraging words. I have work to do, which is wonderful timing, since I'm already sick of TV and movies. I will try to get out and drive a bit, run a few errands, now that I'm not on codeine anymore. John will probably come to my place again this weekend, since I'm not really up for going to stay at his just yet. Steve has been wonderful, coming by to visit me yesterday, driving me to my appointment today. I am in good hands.

I know some people out there will judge me for this. People judge cosmetic surgery overall -- they think of Joan Rivers, and the celebs with frozen faces and pouty fish lips. Feminists may hate me. I remember many years ago, I had a friend who was rather bitterly militant about the things women do to look pretty/sexy/etc., and how unfair it was that society imposes this, and how it's all bullshit, and so on and so forth. I can still hear her railing, "How could any self-respecting woman allow anyone to carve her face open!!" Ugh. We were both just under 40. I wonder how she feels now.

So... if you think badly of me, so be it. Please don't tell me. It won't change anything, and it will just hurt my feelings.

A little aside: When I was consulting with the doc, he asked me if there were any moles or growths or whatever I'd like removed "while he was there." I said sure, OK, and pointed to one on my cheek and one on my neck. "How about the one under your left eye?" he asked.

Ah, my eye spot/wart/mole/whatever the hell it is. John, Steve, and other men in my life have all said they think it's sexy. It was one of the many banes of my mother's existence. I can't tell you how many times she urged me to have it removed. "It's growing!" "No, mother, it isn't." "It could get malignant!" "No, mom, it can't." It was simply an imperfection, and she couldn't stand that.

"Nah," I said to the doctor. "Leave it." And there it will stay. 

If you've read this far, thanks for sticking with me. And be grateful I didn't post the selfie I took after surgery, with a big black eye and my face swathed in bandages and ice packs! There is such a thing as too much honesty. :-/  ← (my smile for a while)

No tags allowed!

In spanking photos/scenes where panties are included, it is considered to be a bit of a visual faux pas to have their tags/labels showing. From what I have heard, disciplinarian Dana Specht takes it a step further -- if she sees that you have not cut the labels out of your underwear, she gives you extra!

I can kinda see the point of all this to-do: an errant tag can certainly spoil an otherwise aesthetically pleasing photo. Now that I've been made aware of it, all I can see in this picture is my freaking label sticking out!

However, I rarely cut the labels out of my panties. I don't know why; seems like it would be an easy thing to do, an extra mini-step when I cut off the price tags. But I don't bother. The only time I make a conscious effort to do so is if it's a skimpy thong where the label won't tuck neatly within, or if I know I'm using the panties in a video and I don't want the label to show. 

So, Steve has become sensitized to this issue and he makes sure to hide those flyaway tags before taking any pictures.

With one exception: today's selection, the popular "Baskin Robbins" panties. Or, as they will be forever known from now on, my "Steve panties."

You see, the manufacturer is St. Eve. However, because of the way the logo is designed, it looks kind of like Steve.

See for yourself:

You'd better believe that's one tag that will never be cut off. Of course, he did hide it, later.

(That white strip is the gusset of the panties, not the label!)

So there you go, kids. Observe Tag Etiquette.

And to my friends who are going to, or already at the Crimson Moon party in Chicago, have fun! Wish I were with you!

How cool is this!!

Last week was certainly a bounty for my little attention-whore heart. First, the release of my video with Pandora Blake (and her lovely write-up about it). And then on Friday, a very special treat was posted.

For those who enjoy spanking videos and clips, you surely must be familiar with The Spanking Galleries (www.thespankinggalleries.com). (And if you aren't, do rectify that.) They have a huge collection of photos, descriptions and links to all kinds of spanking videos, every orientation, with stars from Adriana Evans to Zoe Montana. Recently, the folks who run the site (sorry, but "The Curator" must remain anonymous) contacted me and said they were starting to do "Model Spotlight" pages, and they wanted yours truly to be the first one. Daaaaamn!

He/she/they requested that I go through my photo archives and select 10-12 photos that I thought were a good representation of my years in the spanking scene. Not just the professional film shots, but my own personal play shots as well. This was no easy feat, since I have hundreds of pictures. I lost myself in memories for a while, digging up stuff I hadn't looked at in years. But I finally managed to narrow things down to what I thought was a reasonably varied mix, wrote up a little description/caption for each one, and sent them on.

And, combined with lovely, complimentary words of tribute, those photos became this page.

Go take a look! I'll wait.

* * * *

Isn't that awesome?? I was quite beside myself with pleasure over this; I could see a lot of work went into it and there was a lot of love and appreciation behind it. As timing would have it, the Pandora video came out just in time to get some extra attention in this piece, as well. 

Please take a look at some of the other pages, and if you like the videos/models/etc., take a second and hit the Ratings stars (one through five) at the top of each entry. (Good ratings are not only a nice thing and much appreciated, but they also help cancel out the haters who love to drop in on sites like this one and hit one star, just to be mean.)

So thank you, Spanking Galleries. So much. You're the best, and I'm really tickled to bits. ♥

So...

... what does a woman really need right after an action-packed spanking video shoot?

(Taking a beat here for some of you to drag your minds out of the gutter)

Two things: Hugs, and a glass of water!

Pandora put up a "behind the scenes" video, along with the finished product, that shows some raw footage of our shooting process along with some bloopers (like when I couldn't get the damn paper to tear). Video shoots are work, y'all! Fun work, but work nonetheless. (Not complaining, mind you. Best "work" I've ever enjoyed.)

The frustrations of discretion

CENSORED!

Pardon the play on words, but sometimes, this spanky stuff is a pain in the ass.

I am not ashamed of Erica Scott. However, I'm not naive and I'm no fool. I know that, in a great percentage of the population, the Erica Scotts and her fellow kinkoids of this world are considered freaks. And therefore, a degree of discretion and anonymity must be maintained. Out of respect for my family, my friends who have vanilla careers, etc., etc., I have to disassociate from them to a large degree. Names cannot be mentioned, or pertinent details. Because to be associated with me would bring embarrassment to them, and judgment onto me. And no one needs that crap.

But DAMMIT... sometimes, it's so hard keeping quiet. Especially when I'm bursting with excitement and pride over something that is happening with someone who knows and loves Erica [real name], but has no awareness of her alter ego. And I want to keep it that way.

My cousin, the TV producer I've mentioned many times over the years and in my book, has published a bio. I have already read it, since he sent me an advance copy. There's been a lot of buzz about it, and now the buzz is a roar, with interviews and columns and photos. Granted, the millennials don't know who he is, anyway. But still, to many, his name is iconic.

My father is mentioned often in his book; there's even a picture of him. In all the bits and pieces of interviews I've seen so far, my father is in them. So I am doubly proud -- my cousin has had an amazing career, and my father did too. I don't want either of them to be forgotten. I want to do all I can to keep their names and legacies alive.

But I can't. Because if I mention a name just once, it's on the Internet forever, associated with me. The next time someone Googles my cousin, listed in the gazillions of hits will be his mention in a "porn star's blog."

I suppose if I really wanted to, I could build a whole other online presence, with my real name, no pictures of me, and write about my family. But 1. I really don't have the time for that, and 2. who would read it? No one knows who Erica [real name] is. And I don't want the two entities to combine, even in a slight blur. 

I need to mention, yet again, my admiration for writer Jillian Keenan. Because not only did she come out as a spanko online, she did so with her real name, and in an article not for a kinky blog or site or whatever, but for the freaking New York Times. That is bravery. That is conviction. And she's had to deal with a whole lot of backlash over it, too. Her husband was outed in the process and that was very supportive of him as well to be OK with that. I cannot do that. 

So I share things with friends, privately. I tamp down my desires to share details. I don't post the picture of my cousin and me taken two years ago, after my mother passed away and he and I got together. I hint at things, I give sly odds and ends. But never names. Never identifiers.

Tomorrow, I'm going to a belated birthday lunch with my stepmother -- yet another person whose presence I wish I could proudly broadcast. But alas, she must remain anonymous too.

There are costs for everything. I am living my life, for the most part, true to myself and my deeply kinky, rebellious and iconoclastic self. But I pay the price by having to be discreet at times when I wish to trumpet with joy. 

Not going anywhere in particular with this; just expressing a bit of frustration. Because it really is a drag to have to be concerned about offending loved ones if they're associated with me. But, again, that's the price we pay sometimes.

Video released!

You guys might remember that I had the great fortune of shooting with Pandora Blake when she was here last April and staying with Alex and Paul. (If you don't, you can refresh your memory here.) We shot just one video, which was all that time would allow, but it was one of those shoots where I could just feel that it was going to be good. And now it's out!

It's called "The Workaholic," and you can find it on Pandora's Dreams of Spanking site. It's a membership site, but even as a non-member, you can read a description, see some photos and watch a brief clip.

Paul and I have smashing chemistry in this and the camera work/editing is perfect. I'm thrilled! :-D  As usual, I surprised myself with how much I took on camera. Good old endorphins. Not to mention that Paul's hairbrush/strap prowess is spot on and utterly delicious.

Oh, and to the busybody who keeps commenting everywhere that the hairbrush is fake and hollow? 1. it isn't, and 2. go fuck yourself. :-)

Once again, thank you, Kelly, for the plot idea! We had so much fun with it.

Right... speaking of workaholism, back to work for me.

Dear FetLife...

As I write this, your activity feed is down yet again. This week, it seems like it's been down more than it's been up. One time, it was down all day, when it was supposed to be down for an hour or so for "maintenance."

Am I complaining? Au contraire. I wanted to thank you for the enforced break. Because it is only during these breaks that I realize what a stupefying amount of time I waste on you.

Yes, you have your moments, and I'm grateful for your existence. You keep me in touch with friends and events. You provide a venue where we kinkoids can support one another.

Or tear one another down, as the case may be, and often is.

Such a mixed bag that is FetLife. A place where one can see some exquisite photos of happy kinky people having fun... or of women with a pound of hot dogs or a deluxe pack of Crayola crayons stuffed in their snatch. Where a woman posts a photo of herself with vivid cane stripes in the vicinity of her kidneys -- and gets 100s of "loves" on it.

A place where I love the connections I make... and a place where, despite how many lovely connections I have, I will fixate on the one person who unfriended and blocked me. A place of support and kindness... and a place of drama, popularity contests and sock puppetry.

A place where one can see a lot of kindness and support, like when the community came together to give financial assistance to a friend who had been felled by a heart attack. But also a place where one can see a whole lot of assholes (both literally and figuratively).

A place where sometimes I read amazingly articulate writings that seem to speak directly from my own heart and mind. And then, the very same day, I see an event called "Collard and Gangbanged." That's right -- collard.

Sometimes I wish I could quit you, FetLife. I would gain so much precious time and probably be spared a great deal of annoyance. But I know I'm hopelessly addicted to you and will always drop back in, even if I drop out for a while. Because your social media siren song is powerful.

So please, do continue to have these breaks so I can get stuff done. But can you do me a favor? You know that stupid page that comes up when the feed is down, the one with all the crappy videos that are supposed to keep us entertained? You know that message at the top?

"Sorry my friend, but our feed is currently down."

First, I'm not your friend. And second, will you please add a fucking comma after "sorry"? Every time I see that, it irks the hell out of me.

Thank you. And now, I have work to do.

Have a great weekend, y'all.

Some days...

... I feel like a really heavy-duty scene, laden with implements, pushing me to the edge and making the pent-up stress come bursting through my pores.

Yesterday wasn't one of those days.

We both felt like a mellower scene, a simple but intense hand spanking, no implements. It was delicious. Sass was at a minimum, but he did manage to call me "Your Heinie-ness" at some point. (I'm sure he's not the first to coin that. I'm not a huge fan of the term, but that made me laugh.)

We didn't do anything fancy with photos, either, just a selfie or two on the couch. (Why am I getting a red squiggle under "selfie"? Get with it, Blogger. It's a word. It's officially in the dictionary.) I'm particularly fond of this one, poor quality and all:

And speaking of segues (I wasn't, but I'm about to make one): Can someone please explain to me why feet are considered so fascinating? OK, I get the foot fetish thing, but I would think that would be more like nice feet with polished toes in some really sexy shoes. But plain bare feet? What's the deal? 

Steve (and others in the past) have said that it's fun to watch my feet during a scene, because they are apparently very active. They twitch, they curl, they rub up against each other. I am not aware of any of this. Yesterday, Steve took two pictures of my feet. Said he just had to capture them, because they looked so cute. Really? My feet?? Personally, I don't think they're all that sexy. When you've been walking on something for 57 years, it's bound to look a bit hard ridden. But thank goodness for a bit of softening and changing it to black and white.

I thought about posting the above on FetLife for the foot folks, but then changed my mind. There's this one guy who seemingly spends his days combing FL for pictures of feet and commenting on them. And it's always the same thing, again and again and again, with minor variations: "You have such beautiful wrinkled soles." "I love your sexy wrinkled soles." "I wish I could kiss those wrinkled soles." I swear, sometimes I feel like if I read that one more time, I'm going to plant my wrinkled sole right on his ass. Dude... get a clue. Nothing with the word "wrinkled" in it is a compliment to a woman. Unless you're cooing to your female Shar-Pei.

So last week I was jammed with work, and this week I have zero. I guess it's my opportunity to Get Stuff Done. Funny how I can never think of the Stuff I so urgently need to Get Done when I have time for it. Happy hump day.

Memory Lane

Recently, I was asked to choose 10-12 of my favorite photos from my kink years (videos, parties, private play, etc.). I have come to realize that is no easy feat. I have hundreds of photos I've collected over the past 18+ years. Plus, I've been busy with work, so I haven't had time to really sit down and go through the archives.

However, in a lull over the past couple of days, I have started the process. And it's been fun, digging through all this stuff. And challenging, too. I mean, there are countless photos of my butt, in various stages of undress and color. But what makes one stand out, makes it more interesting than the others? And what about my facial expression, body positioning, etc.? What makes a spanking picture compelling?

And of course, then there are tons of photos that don't involve spanking itself, but are still from spanko occasions and they hold fond memories. Should I include those?

I was tickled to find one in particular that I hadn't looked at in years. When I turned 40, my mother was begging me to have professional photos done because she had no recent pictures of me. Yeah, I thought, I'm not falling for that again. The last time I had a picture taken and framed it for her, she hated it. She put it up, but the next time I came over, I found it face down in a drawer. 

Still, some new pics would be nice. So I had a photographer take a full series of shots and let my mother choose what she liked from the proofs. (Fortunately, she did like some of them.)

Cut to 1999, when Eve Howard of Shadow Lane contacted me for the first time, asked for my measurements and clothing sizes, and a head shot.

What head shot?? Who had head shots? I wasn't a professional actress. And it wasn't like I could easily take one and shoot it to her. Digital cameras were in their infancy then, as I recall. Cell phone cameras weren't around at all.

Then I remembered those proofs from the photo shoot two years prior, and I dug them up. Of course I didn't have a scanner, so I took one of them to good old Kinko's and had it scanned onto a floppy disk (!). 

So here's the picture that sorta started it all:

Perhaps I'll include it. I will finish choosing the others very soon. But for now, Steve is coming over. :-)

In other news: John had a wonderful birthday weekend. Of course, no one in his family acknowledged it, but screw them. We went out for a nice dinner, I baked him brownies and bought him two new shirts, and pampered/fussed over him all weekend. No, I did not have the server at the restaurant bring him a piece of cake and sing to him. He hates having attention called to himself (the opposite of his attention-ho girlfriend!), so we save that kind of thing for me. But he was happy. ♥

Later, kids...

Adulthood is overrated

Pardon me while I whine. It's hot and I'm crabby.

It has been a non-stop week. Work-wise, I've been doing a juggling act, and I was successful, got everything done on time, cleared my slate completely for the weekend. Interspersed with an unusually large amount of work was shopping for John's birthday present and baking John's birthday brownies (from scratch). The former is no easy feat, since the man is very particular about his likes and dislikes (but aren't we all, really) and he hates gift cards. (How do y'all feel about gift cards? Me, I love them, both giving and receiving. It's not about laziness or thoughtlessness; it's about ensuring that people get exactly what they want.) I made it to all my workouts, I ran every necessary errand, I dotted every freaking i and crossed every t. I went and got a mammogram and a flu shot. I even ran like a maniac this afternoon in 98-degree heat because my parking meter was about to run out. I could have left my car in the bank lot (free) and snuck away to do my other errands in the vicinity, but no, I'm too honest for that! Meh.

When you're a kid and you do things well, you get a gold star or ice cream or some damn thing to say "Hey, good for you!" But when you are a Responsible Adult, no one gives you a gold star -- you're just doing what you're supposed to do.

Most of the time, I don't think about that. Sometimes, though, I just want that fucking gold star. Not literally -- you know what I mean, right? Sometimes, being responsible is thankless. And it especially pisses me off when I see others around me being IRresponsible, and I think to myself, "Why do I bother?" 

So I guess now is the time I'm supposed to do something nice for myself, like get a pedicure or a massage. Screw that -- that would mean going outside again. Some (probably many) of you would suggest a "good girl" spanking. But as most of you know by now, I totally don't get that dynamic and my whole attitude about it is "What's the point??" 

Or perhaps I should just get a regular spanking for whining. Screw that, too -- it's my blog and I'll whine if I want to. :-Þ

While I'm on a roll, it's only October 3 and already, if I see one more Halloween ad with gross, decomposing zombies, I'm going to hurl. Whoever writes those uber-annoying Sprint commercials (the latest: a bunch of women in a restaurant shrieking excitedly about their iPhone plan and shattering every glass in the place) should be shot. And to the people at the gym who insist on jabbering away on their phones in their outdoor voices while they're on the machines next to me, this one's for you:

All apologies to one of my favorite movies, but really, it needed to be said.

Ah... the tension is ebbing a bit. Now I'm going to shower and get ready to leave for the weekend, brave the Friday night traffic, and celebrate my sweetie's birthday with him. And I will be very, very sweet. Promise. 

Have a good weekend, y'all.

Bring back the cane???

That's a phrase I've seen floating around quite often among the bloggery. Is that the name of one of those myriad Tumblr blogs? Bring it back? Did it go somewhere? Was it on summer vacation? 

Whatever. I disagree with that sentiment. This particular cane, for example, can go back to the hell from whence it came, and stay there. :-Þ

In other news, another fun-filled evening with Alex and SpankCake last night, and we broke our previous time record. We were in the restaurant from 6:00 to when they were practically vacuuming around us at 10:30. Then we went to the parking lot and talked there for nearly another hour. 

I have no idea where all this talking comes from, but I have a feeling we're not going to run out anytime soon. I do love these ladies. ♥

Right. Must work. Happy Hump Day.