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Friday, February 4, 2011

Much better, thank you

As always, the down times pass. I don't quite comprehend my chemistry and what makes me go into my dark cave sometimes, but I can always see the light outside. For many years, I would stay in the abyss feeling like there was no way out. Now, my depressions are short-lived and open-ended. For this, I am grateful.

Kind and supportive friends help a great deal. Oh, and getting Chrossed today didn't hurt either. :-D  Thank you very much, Mr. Chross. And congratulations to all his other choices this week.

Two things today indicate that I am over my funk: 1) I actually wanted to get out of bed this morning; and 2) I am once again craving spanking like nobody's business. Fortunately, New Guy has written to me, informing me that he is much better and I can count on seeing him this coming Monday. It's been three weeks; how spoiled I've become, because I used to go much, MUCH longer than that. But now it feels like forever. I can't wait to see him.

This afternoon, I find myself fixated on kinky photos all over the place, and not just of the spanking variety. In fact, I've been "perving" FetLife photos that have nothing to do with spanking, and this mystifies me. But they definitely have everything to do with dominance.

I have never (at least not consciously) EVER had any sort of abduction fantasies. I suppose the roleplay of being spanked against my will is a roundabout form of abduction, but the whole kidnapping thing, the damsel in distress being threatened by a menacing man? Hasn't entered my mind.

So why, on FetLife, do I keep returning to these photos, again and again? (from Anton Video):

These pictures make my heart pound. Why?

OK, duhhhh. The guy is freaking gorgeous. But besides that.

It's the look on his face, in his eyes. His absolute power. Her helplessness. He will have his way, no matter what, and there isn't a blessed thing she can do about it. Does something in me crave that as well?

Of course, in the videos from whence these pictures came, he doesn't spank her. I would lose interest as soon as he started defiling her however they portray that sort of thing in bondage/abduction/humiliation videos. But say if he broke in, snuck up on her and had his way with her, spanking-wise? "Don't you scream," he'd whisper to her. "It will only hurt for a little while." Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I guess this all figures into the "consensual non-sensuality" phenomenon. Intellectually, I know I choose everything that happens to me, regarding spanking play. But the pretense that it's out of my hands and into his -- very powerful, and soooo damned exciting.

OK, Erica. Snap out of it. Go work out.

It's only February 4, but John is already singing goofy Valentine songs and wishing me "happy Valentine season." He knows I'm a sucker for all that romantic blather, bless his heart. Stupid commercial holiday that it is, I still love it. Can't wait to see him tonight either. :-)

Happy Stupor... er, Super Bowl weekend, y'all.


  1. I am super glad that you got Chrossed, you deserve it.
    I know what you mean about consent. It is a complex issue but a vital one. Oh, poo and now I will have to write about it at some point because I know if I try to unpick it here you will have thousand word comment and , seeing as it is Friday night, all the words will be in the wrong order and silly.
    Happy hugs and some ice for Monday night for you.

  2. Poppy -- I rather like your long comments, order of words notwithstanding. :-) It is indeed complex, isn't it? Sometimes it makes my brain implode. Then I need I know to go do something useful and stop ruminating.

  3. Hello my Erica YAY CONGRATS on being Chrossed again YOU GO GIRL :-) I am VERY proud of you. i am glad your feeling better and i am also VERY happy that your seeing New Guy on Monday :-) here is a little corny poem i made up for you it is sort of funny ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE WHEN NEW GUY SEES YOU ON MONDAY ERICA HE IS GOING TO SPANK THE HELL OUT OF YOU. hehehe hope it makes you laugh a little, i Love everything about spanking, i have some fantasies of me getting spanked by some very popular tops and switches. valentine's day is COOL its a reason for me to kiss my friend Corey if i see him :-) he is SUPER CUTE, i know i am naughty hehehe, wishing you and John a wonderful and fun weekend, i Love you big hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

  4. This dude gets to me too... I think he's the kind that doesn't have to say much... just be there with that adorable shit eatin' grin on his face.. hell.. HAND ME THAT chloroform knapkin.. I'll do it myself while he gets busy rolling up one of those sleeves! (whewh.. I just bet he's full of testosterone)... I just be he likes his work... I just bet I'll go blind if I stare at him much longer......... LOL

    Happy you were CHROSSED!!! w00t!

  5. Jade -- you're so cute. Honey, there is absolutely nothing naughty about wanting a kiss, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Kisses are lovely. :-)

    Zelle -- HAHAHA! I like that! Hadn't seen that before. And yes, you know exactly who I'm talking about.

    Oh, and I just received this message: "Perhaps sometime soon, you might like to visit the dungeon? We could experiment with some role-play exercises. Of course, there is a firm spanking in it, for you."

    New Guy on Monday, and now this? OK, it's official. Break out the defibrillator, I'm having a heart attack. :-)

  6. Hiya Erica,

    This blog rocks and I'm happy you are feelin' better and bein' as naughty ever. . . .


  7. Erica,

    I saw earlier that you had been Chrossed again. Cheers, Rah, Rah, Rah, and all that. :-D That is pretty cool.

    Yeah, those guys give me the creeps. Especially the first one. He is too serious.

    Dungeon? We don't need no stinkin' dungeon, do we? Well, if you need a defib, maybe. Ain't fer me, though. Still, it makes me wonder what he has in mind. Bruhahahaha!

    I was checking out some of the stuff on Spanking Tube (I wonder if it is something in the air) and they sometimes have a bit of "dungeon" stuff on there and I seldom watch it or if I check it out, I will go out of it if it isn't what I was expecting.

    Have a great weekend with John.

  8. Glad you're feeling better. Congrats on your new films. Sorry I haven't posted in a while.


  9. 'Lo, Erica! I'm very glad the oppressive, depressive episode was short, and that you're feeling better now-- a lot better, evidently-- on the edge of Frisky, I'd say!!

  10. And think we discussed that puzzle before, the appeal of the Dangerous and Dangerously Handsome Character, a staple of "Dark Shadows" and every other soap that has big female demographic numbers!

    Of course, that type has actually been around in various entertainments forever... just like the cute 'n' cuddly goofy neighbor types!

  11. Happy to see that you are feeling better.

    I stuck at the photos. I must admit it resulted in the same feeling, when I am cornered, and a man towers over me...that thrill of feeling powerless with the grim determination on his face...oh my....

    And congratulations on being Chrossed!



  12. Dave -- thanks much! :-)

    Bobbie Jo -- welllll... both photos are the same man. And I think he's rather hot. (blushing)

    Dungeons are nothing more than another play space, when you think about it. The reason why I don't like them is because of some of the people who go to the dungeon parties. But if you have one to yourself for a private scene, it can be quite fun, what with all that equipment. :-)

    Sandy -- good to see you!

    Dave -- that's right; you know I love me some Bad Boys. Quentin Collins... swooooooon!

    Raven -- didn't they just sorta stop you cold? (grinning)

  13. Erica,

    I figured the pics were the same guy, I just thought he was too serious in the first one. Of course, in the second pic, maybe he is just having too much fun. :-}

    Dungeons and equipment. It's all the equipment that bothers me! Now getting a hand spanking in a that is a different story. :-D

  14. So glad to hear you are over your funk and it didn't last long.
    Just remember no matter what is going on in your head. You have a butt worth flying across the country. That's something to be proud of.

    Have a great weekend and Monday night of course.


  15. Jon -- yes, and sadly, because my butt wasn't detachable, they had to fly all of me. ;-)

    Weekend was lovely indeed, and tomorrow promises to be so as well.

  16. Congrats on getting Chrossed, Erica! You are a regular feature on there, and rightfully so!

    I'm with you on the hotness of those photos. Would I really want some strange (albeit handsome) man to steal me away? Of course not. But to be utterly helpless to D's deviant desires? Mmmm. That's at the heart of submission for me. Well, maybe not the heart, but an equally important body part...

    So happy you are feeling better, too.

  17. Pink -- it's weird to me, because "helpless" is my polar opposite. And the whole kidnapping kink is foreign to me, as it has nothing to do with spanking. And yet, those pictures... damn. Maybe it's just the guy, who knows. What one might see as a menacing stranger's look, I see as a toppy look. :-D

  18. Erica... You, me, Pink. and a few others here, are heavy alpha bottoms. "Helpless".. is a word we choke and spew coffee over if someone ever references us to that word in a sentence. (coughs)

    We are strong independent women that have had to 'take care o' bidness' in our lives.. So thinking that we're some kind of "DID" (damsel in distress) and that we're liking that, is damn near preposterous.. LOL We're theoretically.. not going down (pun not intended) without a fight of some sort!

    What gets to an alpha woman with these pics.. is the fact that the 2nd pic shows the man HAS a sense of humor. (good gawd we do love what we do don't we? It's F U N! - and if our play partner/or relationship partner loves it enough to bring laughter into play- then katy bar the door--we're hooked on phonics!)

    The 1st pic.. shows he also has his no-nonsense-strong-dominant alpha male side. Ohhh we love those strong silent types that can give us that wicked grin... or "THE LOOK" - as that can melt us to a puddle.. and wish to hell he'd just get on with dammit! NOW IS GOOD! LOL

    So .. it's not what he's doing in these pics with the other woman.. just take her OUT of the equation.. and there you have what we see.. We see.. an alpha male that floats our boats... (please throw me a life jacket when you regain your composure thanks...) .. LMAO!

  19. Zelle -- well said, my friend. And yes, do take HER out of the equation, and put me in it! (grinning)

    The LOOK has been the topic of many blogs and discussions, and it never grows old... it speaks a thousand words and it sets off a tsunami of fear and desire that is deliciously unbearable.

  20. > "a tsunami of fear and desire that is deliciously unbearable." <

    omg.. how awesome is that line?? Gives me the shivers down my spine..