PLEASE NOTE: This blog contains adult subjects and content, and because of Google/Blogger's recent nonsense, I HAVE MOVED TO WORDPRESS. For my enlightened friends who wish to visit me in my new home, it's Please bookmark it!

The rest of you? Please take your judge-y selves somewhere more wholesome, like here:

Go on.... shoo!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Tonight's Lesson: Watch My @#$%ing Language

New Guy showed up on the dot of 6:30 (have I mentioned lately that I love how on-time and utterly reliable this man is?), and although we did make with some small-talk about the Oscars (gawd, didn't James Franco suck?), it wasn't long before I was horizontal and face down.

You know how sometimes you're more sensitive than other times to pain? Tonight was my night. At least that's how it started out; it took me longer than usual to warm up and adjust. Unfortunately, he felt the warmup should be short. Short? Try practically non-existent! :-Þ

So can you blame a girl for blurting out a couple of cuss words? I mean, come on. It hurts, for God's sake. But he thought it was very unladylike of me and we soon dispensed with the OTK and went right for the ottoman. Once I'm moved onto there, I know he means business.

Ow. Paddle, strap, flogger and this nasty biting thing I later found out was a quirt with three tails. He switched up the count thing -- this time, I had to count AND spell. Spell what, you ask? I'd said the f-bomb once and damn twice. So the count went along these lines: "One, f, two, u, three, c, four, k, five, d, six, a..." and so on.

(but no, I didn't have to say I was sore-y. Snicker)

You'd think with all those implements and my seemingly reduced tolerance, I would have been eager to have it done, right? But when he leaned down and asked, "Is it time for me to get the lotion?" I hesitated. I didn't want to say anything sassy; I was past that. But I didn't want him to stop, either. I turned my head and looked up at him, and he waited patiently, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"I think... I... um... I think I..."


"I think I need a little bit more," I whispered. (Why is it so hard for me to do that? Ah well, it just is. I did it anyway.)

So he finished me with a hard strapping, and then I was done. Well, for the moment, anyway. Aftercare was sweet, as always.

After I recovered, we moved to the couch and I put on a DVD. I have so many of them he hasn't seen, and he loves Samantha Woodley (who doesn't, really?), so I chose Sting Operation, Part 2. She was at her absolute bratty best in this one, playing a student who cheated by downloading a paper off the Internet and then got caught by her teacher. She kicked, she fussed, she was defiant, and of course, I was cheering for her. New Guy? Eh, notsomuch.

We'd been sitting side by side, but when Samantha pinched the teacher's leg, I laughed and said, "Hey, I'll have to remember that!" -- and whoooooosh, over I went again. And there I stayed for the rest of the freaking DVD. When she got smacked, I got smacked. When she got the paddle, I got the paddle. And guess what?? I had totally forgotten about this, because I haven't seen this DVD for a while, but... She calls him a bastard, and he makes her spell it out to him while he whacks her with the paddle. How funny, considering that NG had made me do the exact same thing earlier.

I pointed out to NG that she said bastard, I didn't say bastard. But he didn't care. Argggghhhh. OK, fine! I figured I get it whether I cuss or I don't cuss, so what's the difference? Soooooo... when she said my favorite line in the whole DVD: "I said I was sorry! So forgive and forget, and f*** off!"...yup,  I said it along with her. :-D

Professor Lance finally let Samantha up -- however, NG said, "You stay right where you are." So much for following the video. The second spanking of the evening continued long past the end of the DVD, and after one hard flurry, I breathed, "Jesus!"

I felt him freeze, and I screeched, "That's not cussing, that's not cussing!" He said, "Yes, it is." I got so frustrated, I lost my head. Again.

"It is NOT! It would be one thing if I'd said 'Jesus f***ing Christ,' but I didn't!"

I am such an idiot. Yes, I had to spell out all three words, 18 whacks.

Someday, I'll learn. Or not.

But you know that edgy, crabby, unsettled mood I mentioned last Friday? No sign of it now. Whaddaya know. Who needs Xanax when you have a spanker extraordinaire?

T - h - a - n - k    y - o - u. :-)


  1. I get into trouble all the time for my language. It doesn't really help when I remind Daddy that I learned it from a *certain* sailor I live with!

  2. I just love a PUNKtual man don't you?? (rofl)

    AND... maybe if ya told him you spelled it like this... "Geezus!".. you'd not have another trip over the knee! .... Then again.. if I was having as much fun as you two .. I'm sure I'd have had the expletives flying from here to kingdom come... LOL

  3. Sounds like a cathartic evening! I can imagine it's a challenge to spell even easy words under the circumstances.

    I'll have to check out that Samantha Woodley video. She's such a doll!

  4. Hello my Erica you are so funny hehehe, i swear alot too i am always getting yelled at for my naughty language hehehe. i was told by my friend miss Susan from London that if i said cuss words in front of her that she would give me a very hard spanking on the bare bottom over her knee and she would make me spell the words out like you did. but she would give me extra hard swats with her hairbrush or strap OUCH hehehe. i would say F U C K while over her knee just to see how far i could go with my pain tolerence hehehe what a daring naughty girl i am, she would probably call me a naughty little minx :-) then i would have a VERY RED ARSE. keep the cussing going my friend it's cool and it gets a rise out of your spanker :-) I Love You your the GREATEST, Big Hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

  5. " Munches my popcorn and watches " I just LOVE a movie that has a strong finish at the "end"

    I do believe it was a "glowing" final few moments .

    Look forward to the "squeek'ual"

    :-D lol

  6. Little B -- yeah! Not fair if they say the words themselves! lol

    Zelle -- you know, sometimes, nothing quite does it like the real cuss words. I watch Big Love (Mormons aren't supposed to swear), and when they fight and say stuff like "Darn it, Nicki!" and "What the H, Margene?", it sounds so fake!

    Dioneo -- do check it out; it's my favorite of hers, I think.

    Jade -- well, I guess we can keep it going, as long as we're willing to pay the price. :-D

    Alan -- no chipmunks were injured in the making of this blog. :-)

  7. Once again thank you for sharing your Monday night and some really great photos.

    Your "Spank And Spell" game puts the "Speak And Spell" to shame.


  8. Jon -- given my profession, I do need to be a good speller. :-D Guess I have to keep my skills honed!

  9. Sigh, I can the feel the relief from here. Sometimes it really just have to be a very hard and horrid session for it to be wonderful afterwards.
    You lucky thing you, you deserve it though and I mean that in the best possible way.

  10. Poppy -- it really is a contradiction sometimes... "Stop stop stop!... Don't stop." But we love it, even when we hate it. Sort of. :-)

  11. Erica - delightful read, thank you :D That's quite an extraordinary coincidence! -- to have such a parallel arise out of seemingly random circumstances...

    And yes, James Franco f***ing sucked :D LOL

  12. Rayne -- I had completely forgotten about the spelling in that DVD; I was laughing my head off (but not for long...).

    Poor Anne Hathaway. I think they should have paired her with Hugh Jackman and put James Franco back in the store window where he came from.

  13. Franco was like watching "cement set".

  14. Zelle -- yeah... stoned cement. LOL

  15. Well, I didn't watch the Oscars and from what I have read here, sounds like I didn't miss much. :-)

    I enjoyed your post, Erica. I must say, from that first picture you posted, I would have been marked up to ying/yang and "blue on blue." And what you said about no chipmunks being injured made me laugh so hard I was glad I wasn't trying to drink anything at the moment. Man I love the humor here. You rock!

  16. Bobbie Jo -- I have no idea what it would take these days to seriously mark me, but I don't think I want to know! LOL And yeah, the Oscars had a few good moments (like Colin Firth winning and Billy Crystal making an appearance), but overall, it was a dud.

  17. I don't think you want to find out, either. :-)

    I'm glad I didn't waste my time on the Oscars. It used to be we didn't miss them for anything, but that was when there were very good actors and actresses. Now, some of them seem to be, um, just sort of "ho hum". Most of them I don't know anyway so I really don't know who is good and who is not. I guess to me, they just don't make movies like they used to. But there are some good ones that come out now and again. Glad the one you wanted to win, did.

  18. I know I am mixing my comments here but I would watch cement dry if Hugh Jackman were standing by it, Adonis that he is.

  19. Hi Erica,

    If I had to go through a spank and spell, I'd be in a heap of trouble with my dyslexia! OMG, it would take me all night to get a single word right! As for movies, you might try the "Sound of Music." But come to think of it, doesn't that movie have spelling in it too?

  20. Poppy -- yup... Hugh, or Clive Owen. Take all the time you need, cement.

    Annapurna -- I LOVE Sound of Music. Hmmm... offhand, I recall Do Re Mi, but not spelling.

  21. This got Chrossed! Congratulations!

  22. Poppy -- as did your very poignant post about need. Congratulations to you too. :-)

  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

  24. Corrective -- (blushing) Thank you. I really do think I'm lucky to have him, though.

  25. My subbie's from the Bronx, NY; where they learn to cuss in the womb! Fortunately (for her hiney) she spent some time down south in TENN where she learned more genteel manners.

    I usually get the "wise cracking" variety of talking back during a punishment.

    Me: Do you know why I'm spanking you?
    she: why, did you forget? Let me off your lap!

    Now most Doms have no sense of humor. Me, I was raised with a bunch of wise acres so I appreciate the levity in its context. Then I let her have it!

    Myself, I speak 7 languages and understand another 11 different ones. I'm currently teaching her how to brat on a global level. I feel I owe it to the submissive community.

    As for the Doms, brats are made not born so you can thank me later.

  26. OMG ROBERT! You are so funny! I love the way you think.. matter o' fact.. I think I love you. LOL

    Oh.. THANK YOU... (almost forgot!)

  27. Robert -- I think I like your "subbie." ;-) And bless you for appreciating her humor!

  28. Erica,

    It is hard to say so those times that you need a bit more, isn't it? One person I've played with always asks me at the end if I'm ready to behave. Half the time I pause, look back at him, and ask if he wants me to ;) That's my way of saying no without having to ask for more.

    With J I always just had to spit it out and ask, he was always more than willing to oblige. Although there was one time that I asked for more every time he stopped that he finally just told me to tell him when I was done ;)

    Glad you had such a lovely Monday!

  29. Em -- "Is this getting through to you?" If I say yes, that means I'm close to done. If I say "I don't know," that means I'm starting to get there, but there's still a ways to go.

    If I say, "Is WHAT getting through to me?", he needs to hunker down and ramp up. :-D