PLEASE NOTE: This blog contains adult subjects and content, and because of Google/Blogger's recent nonsense, I HAVE MOVED TO WORDPRESS. For my enlightened friends who wish to visit me in my new home, it's Please bookmark it!

The rest of you? Please take your judge-y selves somewhere more wholesome, like here:

Go on.... shoo!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 11/12

Happy Friday, everyone. Today's CHoS has only three entries, but I'd say that the last one has enough material for three or four on its own.

Single and looking for a wife .you sound perfect
if you are willing to relocate reply back at we can get toknow each oter better.

Uh... I sound perfect to relocate and marry you? What part of "I'm in a relationship" wasn't clear? Sorry, I'm marriage-averse. I'm also idiot-averse.

i cant beleave how hot and sexy you are in your photo this early morning i love it so much.nothing is nicer then you in a morning.

Beleave [sic] me, honey, there is nothing nice about me in the morning. Must have coffee and a shower. Then I'm still a bitch until noon.

And finally: What do I love, guys? Long, blathering intro emails that are obviously form letters, professing that I just might be the one. Read on:

How'r you doing,hope you fine and in good health condition,i read thru your profile and i really loved what i read and thanks for your intrest,My name is xxxxxxx and i hope u would read my profile and find out more about me,i asked myself some questions and give u the answer,can u also answer them and let me know what you think,i would take them one after the other:

So what do you like to do for fun? Your hobbies and interests can reveal a lot about you, and I'd like to learn more. Is there anything special that you're passionate about? I love swimming,taking walks down the park,observing nature,running and walking,i also love cooking and taking walks by the sea side,I'm passionate about a candle lit dinner with i and my partner holding hands together and sharing intimate things about each other. Are you close to your family? I was asking if you're close to your family in the emotional kind of way, but now that I think about it, do they live nearby, too? I'm not really close to my family,cos i don't have one,but each day and night i really miss them all,they don't live nearby. How would you describe your sense of humor? Some people like silly slapstick, while others go for more subtle stuff. What tickles your funny bone? My sense of humor is quite intresting,i'm shy at first but as we get closer i feel free to express my heart desires. What kind of food do you like? Do you have a favorite restaurant? Some like hot and spicy, others prefer comfort food. If you had to pick one type of food, what would you say is your favorite? I love american food and also italian food and most times,i love to cook for myself.I love Mc donalds.I love comfort food. Wow! We could be a match. Would you like to chat online? It seems like we have a lot in common. I'd love to talk to you more and see what develops. What do you think? here till hear from u soon

(groaning and reaching for the Advil bottle) This one speaks for itself, people. I have nothing to add.

John is into the second week of his IV therapy. He says he is not feeling as fatigued, and although he's still in a weakened state, now it feels more like he has a mild cold instead of a raging flu. He says the docs told him it's OK to stay at the weight he's at right now, because his BMI is fine and a lighter weight is easier on his heart. But between us... he lost 20 pounds, and I would love to see him gain back 10. Perhaps when he's feeling better and can start working out again, he'll put some muscle back on.

It's been a really rough time, but I think I'm seeing some light now. My sweetheart is getting better. I have an awesome new play partner. I actually got a work project this week. And I got Chrossed today (thank you, Chross, for my soaring view count!). For this moment, all is well in my world.

Oh, and because I received a request for a photo that is not bottom-centric, here's a shot of me in happy mode:

Have a great weekend, y'all.


  1. Tell that guy that says he... "love's taking walks down the park, running and walking, i also love taking walks by the sea side" ..... Tell him he'd be better off if he liked to .. HIKE.. and.... he should feel free to TAKE ONE NOW.

    * So glad Johns better! His weight will come back in due time.. don't rush it .. or mention it too much.. he'll feel bad. In the mean time.. keep all his favorite fattening snack foods at your house and his. (weg!)


  2. You're gorgeous! (But we knew that.)

    At least that last guy was sweet, although prone to run-ons and impertinent info. I used to have a theory that spankos were more intelligent, based on our out-of-the-box thinking.

    That theory has been blown.

    Have a great weekend! (And congrats on getting Chrossed, superstar!)



  3. Hal -- trust me, I chose the proper word. Mornings and I do not get along.

    Zelle -- you're right, of course. I will not mention John's weight to him. I may suggest that it's time to take his birthday brownies out of the freezer...

    Pink -- and congrats to you too, sister! Yeah, so much for that theory. Spankos are merely a sector of humanity, stupid people included.

  4. Glad johns better , and you seem happier so thats good.

    " My names Alan " I am over 50 , over weight and think you is soooommeee kinda seeeexxyyy ! I likes long walks to tha fridge fer beer and cuddlin tagether in a snuggie "burps" I likes womens who can change a tire and who are willin ta walk to the station when we run outa gas.
    "spits between teeth" I is a tinkin me and you could make bootifull music tagether , well us and my hound dogs. Wont ya'll load up and come down here and we will get all married up and make us a passle a babies ! I will even meet ya in my sunday overalls and shine up my tractor !

    Yurs truley !!


  5. Alan -- nicely done. But I'm afraid I'm not qualified; I'm not your first cousin. :-D

  6. Hello my Erica i am VERY proud of you for getting Chrossed again CONGRATS,OMFG did i laugh so hard about Zelle's reply to tell that guy to take a hike, that guy is so stupid that he can't even spell, hehehe that was so funny, Erica you could never be a bitch your a very loving and caring person, i am the bitch i been very moody today hehehe, i am happy that John is close to being completely better :-) have a great weekend i Love you big hugs always from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

  7. Yes congrats on getting chrossed again . hmmmmm maybe since its happening so much we can use it for an excuse to spank you . Get chrossed get spanked ! welllll sounds good to me anyway.

    Ohh and btw how do you KNOW your not my cousin ?


  8. Jade -- everyone gets moody. We're only human. :-)

  9. You realize the last gentleman is going to be sitting right hear until he here's from u. Hurry up and contact him already! :)

    Excellent news about John. I think he's lucky to have great care at his fingertips from you. Also, your warmer climate may be an advantage, less strain on the heart than the snowy B.S. climate of PA each winter. lol!

    Kudos for another Chrossing. New Guy should give you a spank for each congrats you receive on this blog entry!

  10. Kelly -- He should, huh? Remind me again of whose side you're on? :-) As for the last gentleman, I'm afraid he'll just have to keep sitting they're.

  11. Love your pic my Erica your so pretty, what a beautiful smile you look so happy xoxo big hugs from your naughty girl Jade :-) <3

  12. I love your CHoS. They have me in stitches every time.

    Btw, your photo is absolutely adorable!!!

  13. bless you [for being an angel]. that's by the chords on "cat". it fit's.

    good lord i hope i didn't sound like one of those clowns above when i first e-mailed you. the last one was...was... nope there is no word for it.

    just a quick aside....all those girls who love long walks on the beach run screaming when i [ and i have] pick up a baby squid from a tide pool and say "look at this!!!! ditto snakes in the woods.

    i'm so glad [for both of you] that john is on the mend. that light at the end of the tunnel is getting bigger.

    thanx again for a perfect picture.



  14. Erica, not only did you get Chrossed, but you are also featured on Spanking Blog.

    You've really hit the big time! Congratulations.


  15. Beth -- thank you! I do love my CHoS... I have great fun writing it.

    ddon -- glad you liked it. :-)

    Hermione -- wow! How about that? Thanks for the heads-up!