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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

On my mind

So we're at John's sister/brother-in-law's house on Christmas, sitting in the living room chatting before dinner. I'm a bit off to the side, looking around, observing and absorbing my surroundings. S & J are both involved in academia, and the decor reflects it. Some of it seems a bit pretentious to me, as if it's screaming, "Look how SMART we are!" But perhaps that's my own prejudice.

I notice the expensive-looking chess board on the coffee table, listen idly as John's nephew shows slides on his laptop of his trip to Kenya. I look at the tasteful paintings on the wall, the stacks and stacks of collector LPs. My eye wanders to a side table next to my chair. Atop the table lay three books. The first two are books of poems, by Pablo Neruda and Ezra Pound, respectively.

The third is a book of drawings. Its title? "The C*** Coloring Book."

I kid you not.

I felt the usual visceral lurch of revulsion to that word, then felt angry and disgusted. Judgmental of me, I know. But I couldn't help it.

Later, John's brother and sister-in-law arrived... with their eight-year-old son. She sat in the same chair I'd been in earlier, and sure enough, she noticed the coloring book. I saw her face, watched her eyebrows shoot up. She picked it up, flipped through it. Then she put it back -- face down -- on the table, and put the other two books on top of it, so her son wouldn't see it. "Sorry," she said, "but I am so not ready for that conversation."

I don't blame her.

OK, so here's what's on my mind. Most of us spankos worry about accidentally exposing our kink. We hide our spanking videos and our BDSM paraphernalia, password-protect our computers, turn the spanking book titles inward in the bookcase. My coffee table bears Beatles tomes, not spanking art books. Why do we bother? Why are we so cautious about our innocent fun, when vanilla folks can blithely display that kind of crap for everyone to see??

Doesn't seem right, I'm thinkin'.

Oh, but spanking is degrading to women, they say.

Hummph. And coloring in women's hoo-has isn't?

I'll put any of our fetish erotica up against that coloring book in a bad-taste contest any day. I am betting that the coloring book would win.

Just my thoughts on a quiet post-spanking Tuesday.


  1. What??? NO pics? Maybe Wolfie can sketch us something out.. for reference only of course...(haha! ok, ok.. j/k!)

    LOL .. okay...christonacracker!!!

    AND!!.. It's vanilla company.. NO .. WAIT! .. IT's COMPANY ...period... YOU TAKE THAT BOOK BACK to your bedroom and stash it during the party.. you DO NOT PUSH YOUR KINK on others..

    do as I say.. not a I do.. (snorts!)

  2. Erica, you are not the first person to observe that we 'spanko's are thought of as 'oddballs'. Many of us 'spanko's including me, have had to contend with this the world over. But I'll let you in on a secret that I have observed amongst our group. We have an IQ average well above the normal. And I do mean WELL above. Descartes the French philospher, once said. "I think therefore I am". We 'spanko's as a group are thinkers. DEEP THINKER'S.

  3. Zelle -- NO! no pictures! LOL

    It was just so jarringly incongruous, lying there next to Neruda and Pound! LOL

    sixofthebest -- yup, and we don't have "Ass Coloring Books" on our living room tables. :-D

  4. It was obviously being done as a test to the guest, you said yourself they are both " in academia " I would say the you have been exposed to the "human Verson " of the mouse in the maze ! You were being studies as to reaction ! SOOOOO next time your invited to there house , take a spanking book , and secretly slip it on the table while no ones looking and sit back and see what happens , turn the table as it were ! OR

    Then again , I could be fulla crap here !!

    ROFLMAO !!

  5. The Three greatest books in the world to me are Charles Darwin's book, Origin of the Species. Einstein's theory of Relatively, and Kinseys Sex book. Erica the world must get rid of Censorship, it clogs the mind.

  6. Alan -- could be true! However, the thought of John's brother-in-law knowing about MY kink makes my flesh crawl! LOL

  7. Wow! For scholars, not very bright though. Yeah company of ANY kind should prompt hosts to stash controversial items out of sight unless it's a common theme for the guests.

    Funny, that when I know any relatives are coming to my house, I take my wooden paddle off my bedroom wall and hide it. I don't care what friends think of my spanking love, but family creeps me out.

  8. Kelly -- I have nothing spanky in my apartment that is easily visible. The closest I come is a group shot framed in my living room, taken at a party, with several illustrious spanking folk including Samantha Woodley and Chelsea Pfeiffer. But nothing is going on!

  9. I wonder if John's sister was embarrassed when she realized that the book was left out. I once had a 5-year-old pull "Erotic Surrender" out of an inconspicuous stack of books (stashed in a magazine rack in the corner) in front of my mother. I thought I would die of embarrassment.

    The title, though, would definitely have me locking that thing up tight before company arrived.

    Incidentally, that coloring book was originally intended for sex education of adults in the '70s. It was renamed Labiaflowers -- an equally horrid name -- in '81. So it's a collector's item. :)

    Many, many of my feminist friends love the C word. They think its use helps them reclaim power. Or something. I think it's offensive, too.

  10. pink -- Labiaflowers????? ROFL!

    My father's disgusting, despicable, foul-mouthed third wife used to call me that on a regular basis in my teens. I've had a Pavlovian reaction to that word ever since.

  11. Geezus Erica! How crass could a woman be for crying out loud! That's horrible to call any child.. (shakes head) - I hope you felt you could tell her off when she did that...

  12. Zelle -- (sigh) No, I didn't get to tell her off. That's nothing... Gawd, the stories I could tell you about her.

    I did once yell at my dad, "Your wife is a barracuda!" LOL Many years later, in his personal papers, I found correspondence he'd had with her during their divorce proceedings. It was labeled "The Barracuda Files."

  13. Erica,

    To call a child that is just incontionable.

    I know of a certain very high level politician who used the term from old Navy signal letters "charlie, uncle, nan, tare" to refer to another politician. He was trying to be polite, I guess. His wife was present and asked what that meant and nobody said a word. I wonder why!!!

    That is so funny your dad calling the correspondence "The Barracuda Files." I guess he was listening to you and you didn't know it. I think she was worse than a barracuda. Most likely a cross between a badger, wolverine, AND a barracuda! How about a chupacabra?!

    There are times when I feel like calling someone an "alpha hotel," or referring to someone as such, and I think I will refrain from any more epithets now.

    I must say you are very descriptive (love it) and I agree with sixofthebest that people into spanking are deep thinkers.

  14. Bobbie Jo -- well, technically, I wasn't a child; I was a teenager. But still.

    And while I agree on principle, I must say I've met some spankos over the years whose thinking is about as deep as a kiddie pool. ;-)

  15. I have no idea how on earth anyone could ever call a child that word. A teenager is still forming and thus is a child in lots of ways. I am sorry you had to know such an odious woman.

    I have to say I like the C word. I don't think it is offensive because I think it is fear and mistrust of a women's sexuality that makes discussion of women's genitals so difficult. There are no words for a woman's genitals that I really like.
    But I do not use the C word and I don't use it because to so many people it is offensive and that would mean my use of it would be insensitive and disrespectful. Words are what we make them and we can't be blind to their affect on others.

    As for leaving that book out when a child was coming over- I have no understanding of that at all. I hate any form of written swearing in public- it makes me very angry. I think French Connection (who sell everything in the UK with FCUK on it)should be sued to destruction. I feel the same way about people who have swearwords on their clothes or car stickers. Why on earth these people think that children have no right to a life free from expletives after they have learned to read is beyond me and little short of a tragedy.
    I appear to have ranted all over your blog.
    Sorry about that.
    I will tottle off whistling nonchalantly and hope I do not appear too mad.

  16. Ignoring the C word discussion and going back to another point in your post.

    "Most of us spankos worry about accidentally exposing our kink. We hide our spanking videos and our BDSM paraphernalia....... Why are we so cautious about our innocent fun...."

    Why indeed. Why are we so afraid of outing ourselves to other spanking enthusiasts? Why do we lurk? Why do we post anonymously? Isn't a pseudonym enough to hide behind?

  17. You have inspired me, yet since I am long winded, I will post the link and not take up all your space:

    Incidentally, I am also a strong supporter of having Beatles books on your coffee table.

  18. Maybe a penis coloring book? At Bacall's 50th birthday party, someone had a large poster of a man, called something like 'Pin the macho on the man". So for an hour or so, 30 women are walking around cutting the macho's out with scissors. I winced a lot. The women were enjoying themselves.

  19. Why not display our kink for the world to see? It's no one else's business, and that book should have been removed prior to company arriving. It's vulgar to leave something like that out....if someone were to walk into our house they would not find any spanking paraphernalia unless they went to the back bedroom closet...the one that locks!

  20. Hello my Erica OMG they actually left a book like that out on the table that's not good at all, i hate the C word as much as you do you don't allow that word on your blog and i don't blame you one bit, your dad's third wife is a FRICKIN BETCH for calling you a disgusting word like that i would have slapped her silly UGH,i am going through abuse with my dad's UGLY APE girlfriend she is lower than a snake. i hide my spanking kink from my family too the only one that knows is my dad but he is cool with it :-) i wasn't allowed to swear any bad words in front of my foster mom i did 10 years ago and my mom spanked me so hard with her belt that it left lots of welts i was lucky my bum didn't bleed OUCH. I LOVE YOU ERICA NO ONE SHOULD BE CALLED THOSE KINDS OF NAMES YOUR A WONDERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL PERSON I AM VERY SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT WITH THAT WITCH, if i heard her call you that now i would come to California and smack her myself nobody messes with my Erica she is a VERY good friend of mine if they mess with her they mess with me. LOL and BIG HUGS ALWAYS from your naughty girl Jade XOXO

  21. Erica,

    I was speaking in generalities, of course. :-D

    You maybe weren't a "child", but it still was a mean thing to say to a teen. I never heard those kind of words when I was young. I remember having a sleep-over with some friends on their patio and one of them said the word sutl, which I didn't know about and they sort of laughed at me that I didn't know what it meant. I got the idea it wasn't a nice term so I told them that we weren't supposed to know that kind of stuff. Well, that went over like a lead baloon. We got off on to something else so that ended ok.

    I had another thought about the book that should not have been there. It may have been overlooked since there were two on top of it. OOPS! Regardless, it should not have been there.

    And the Beatles: I had a friend that covered her walls and ceiling with Beatle pictures. I thought it was a bit much, but who am I to say?! I agree with Paul. :-)

  22. Poppy -- 'tis OK to be passionate about an issue, no worries. :-) You have a point -- I've seen some naughty bumper stickers and laughed out loud in the car, but never thought about children seeing them.

    OBB -- people have their fears, and I figure they need to do whatever it takes to feel safe. I don't mind anonymity, except for when people use it to hide behind when they post ugliness and vitriol. And as for that birthday game... ouch! LOL

    Paul -- I didn't know you have a blog. I must check it out.

    Rob -- yeah, I can see some tasteful erotic art, but something that blatant isn't for mixed company.

    Jade -- don't you worry; she ended up having a miserable life. She has grown kids who won't speak to her and grandchildren she's never seen. Karma is a bitch.

    Bobbie Jo -- oh, I know. :-) I just had wanted to make sure people knew I was 15, not 5... although that's not much better, really.

    Hmmmmmm... well, my ceilings are bare, but anyone looking at my living room or bedroom wall knows I'm a Beatles fan. :-D Although my days of pinning up posters with thumbtacks are long gone.

  23. My mother (long deceased) used to swear like a sailor. She would rant and rave and call me a f**king bitch when I was barely a teen. I think she was talking about herself.

    Leaving that book out for guests to see is definitely crass, especially for academics. Maybe it was a 'guest test.' For a long time I had a book on the night stand (his side, not mine). I was trying to get J to read up on power-play relationships. The book stayed there so long (unread) that I ceased to see it and never thought to put it away before the house cleaner came. I wonder if she noticed and what she thought! Fortunately, she didn't clean under the bed where the toys are...

  24. Dana -- perhaps the nightstand was too subtle. How about next to the remote control? Or in the kitchen next to the beer/pork rinds/whatever? :-)

  25. I think that's a very weird sort of colouring book. I wonder if they had actually coloured any of the pictures, and whether they stayed inside the lines :)

    We had company come and go last week, and I was walking on eggshells in case someone decided to use our computer. If they chose Firefox, they'd see all my spanking links and history. If they chose Chrome, they'd find Ron's T & A sites. Luckily they played with the iPad which has not been used for kink (yet). But I was more worried about them seeing my preferences than Ron's. His wouldn't be considered odd or abnormal.


  26. @Hermione ... I think I'd have thrown a sheet over the whole computer and just told everyone "DON'T TOUCH- ugh *nasty virus* tech coming just after the holidays" .. That might have helped alleviate your stress!!

  27. Hermione -- couldn't tell ya; I didn't look. (snicker)

    Yes, of course -- you can look at all manner of T&A and it's just being "a real man," but spanking?? Horrors! (I like Zelle's solution!)

  28. I like Zelle's solution too. The visitor was the one who gave us the iPad and he threatened (offered) to help us set it up two days later if we got stuck. So I worked frantically all Christmas day to get the thing up and running. even figured out how to add my own email separately so you still need a password to get in. Phew! So he had no need to use our PC, and probably didn't want to, since he's a MAC fan.
    "Stay away! Windows NT!"

  29. Kudos on Zelle's solution!

    As for leaving hints for John, I gave up on that a couple of years ago. I used to leave the paddle at the foot of the bed, but he failed to notice that too, lol.

  30. it's funny how we perceive things.

    i hate that word in contemporary usage and i don't think it empowers anyone.

    but hold on here....this is the same person who would gladly trot out the norfolk jazz quartette's "jelly roll blues"[circa 1921] and then a dozen or so other recordings with that phrase. my favorite being ed bell's "hambone blues" with the wonderfull line "what makes my grandpa love my grandma so?...she's got the same jelly roll she had 40 years ago!!" whenever i hear it i smile and think what a happy couple they must have been.

    i can't logically explain the difference but there sure is one.

    the spanking "in and outing" deserves it's own blog sometime.

    hope i didn't offend anyone.



  31. ddon -- ROFL!! Is THAT what "jelly roll" in those old songs was referring to? I had no idea!

  32. Sigh... let me try this again. Sometimes Blogger pops me out when I try to post!
    First of, keep your questionable fetishes awy from children. Show just a little bit of class!
    Second; there are just plain old ugly words out there and the "C" word and the "N" word do nothing but show bad taste and ignorance.
    They just grate on me.
    While we are at it how come every other RAP song has to use the word "Mother F@#ker" in it?
    Nothing is more disturbing than to here my 12 year Grand Daughter singing these phrases with her friends. Makes me want to wash SOMEBODIES mouth out with soap.

  33. Poppa -- I hate rap. hate it hate it HATE it. That and hiphop. I know, I'm sounding like my mother.

  34. Until the second to last paragraph all I was thinking was, "What's wrong with the cock coloring book?"