PLEASE NOTE: This blog contains adult subjects and content, and because of Google/Blogger's recent nonsense, I HAVE MOVED TO WORDPRESS. For my enlightened friends who wish to visit me in my new home, it's Please bookmark it!

The rest of you? Please take your judge-y selves somewhere more wholesome, like here:

Go on.... shoo!

Monday, August 29, 2011

@#$%ing Tootsie Rolls!

Yes, I know. That's a very strange title for a blog entry. But I do have an explanation. (don't I always?)

I love Tootsie Rolls. I always have a bag of the Midgees in my kitchen, and I usually have a few of them in a Baggie in my purse. Last Saturday at John's while we were watching TV, we were having snacks and drinking coffee, and I pulled a Tootsie Roll out of my purse to munch on.

The next day, John took me by the hand when I was about to leave. "Come over here, young lady." He led me over to his coffee table and pointed. I looked down and saw magazines, a couple of DVDs, the DVD remote. Oh, and one lone crumpled Tootsie Roll wrapper.

"Do you think my coffee table is a garbage receptacle?" he asked. Well no, of course not. I merely overlooked that little wrapper when we were cleaning up.

"Here's what you're going to do," he ordered, still gripping my hand. "You're going to tell [New Guy] about this, and have him handle it as he sees fit. Then you have him email me and tell me if he thinks the situation was handled well enough, or if you need more. If he and I determine that further punishment is in order, I'm taking you to Las Vegas this weekend and letting everyone spank you."

Oh, brother. Sure, honey. Whatever you say. I figured he was just in pre-Shadow Lane toppy tease mode, but then tonight on the phone, he reiterated what he wanted me to do. Fine...

So New Guy came over, and I told him the story. Surprise, surprise, he agreed with John that I'd committed an egregious and irresponsible act. (rolling eyes) "Too bad we don't have that wrapper here," he said.

"Oh, but we do," I said, giggling. I got up, went to the kitchen and came back holding a Tootsie Roll Midgee. He unwrapped it and we split it. Then he crumpled the wrapper and threw it on my coffee table. "Is that about the way it was on John's table?" he asked. "Yup," I said.

"I think you need to get up close and personal with that wrapper." He then cleared everything off the table (except the wrapper). Next thing I knew, I was on the table.

Spanking and lecturing then ensued, with the intent being that I'd never forget to pick up after myself again. (Dammit! I just overlooked it! I cleaned up everything else! Argghh) Ah, but NG is diabolical. He took it an extra step.

"I think you should have that wrapper taped to your nose."

Yeah, right. And I think you should go fornicate yourself.

He told me to go get some tape. I said no. He convinced me with his heavy black strap that I really should go get the @#$%ing tape.

Yes, kids. I had to endure the rest of the spanking with a Tootsie Roll wrapper taped to my nose.

The grand finale was 10 belt strokes, and he said I needed to count them and say after each one, "I will not leave Tootsie Roll wrappers laying around."

"Do you want me to leave the incorrect grammar intact?" I snapped. Laying, indeed. I got extra for correcting him, but it was well worth it.

(sigh) I'm afraid I failed to grasp the gravity of the situation. I just couldn't stop laughing.

We actually didn't play all that hard tonight, honestly. I think he was leaving me in one piece for this coming weekend. I will not see him next Monday, as we'll just be getting home. But I have no doubt that in two weeks, he'll make up for it.

And I'll be happy to see him, as always. :-)


  1. ROFLMAO! Too funny! (maybe not so much flippin' the bird.. but I'm sure you'll hear about that from John!)

    Hey.. good lord... there's actually a silly "TOOTSIE ROLL" SONG!! (by 69 Boyz)-- oh yeah.. one of those wonderful rappy type thangs that I hate.. but .. "If the wrapper fits.. we must 'admit'??" (pppfffttt!) LOL

    I don't know what you've been told
    It ain't the butterfly it's the tootsie roll
    A brand new dance so,
    Grab a partner get on the dance floor
    And work them hips a little bit
    and do that dip a little bit

    Oh yeah, you got it, no ifs, ands,no butts about it
    And you over there with the long hair
    Keep workin that derriere, cause it ain't hard
    Just a brand new dance for the 1991
    69 is the place to be, a yo Skee, what we came to see

    Cotton candy,sweet and low, let me see your tootsie roll
    Here we go, come on, tootsie roll, come on, tootsie roll
    Let me see your tootsie roll
    Come on, tootsie roll, just dip that tootsie roll and tootsie roll
    Here we go tootsie roll

    Just I feel a whoop comin up, a whoop comin up,
    I just feel a whoop comin up, a whoop comin up,
    Whoop, come on, whoop, come on
    Whoop, yeah come on come on and,
    Whoop whoop whoop, yeah baby
    Cotton candy, sweet and low
    Let me see that tootsie roll

    Come on tootsie roll, just make that tootsie roll
    Yeah tootsie roll, gotta go make your tootsie roll
    Here we go tootsie roll, just make that tootsie roll
    I want to see your tootsie roll, just make them tootsie roll

  2. Hi Erica,We just got our power back a few minutes ago, DAMN hurricane :-( I missed you so much, I LOVE your pics they are PRICELESS :-) I would of flipped him off too for making me wear the wrapper hehehe LOL,Zelle you are so funny hehehe i missed you too, i am so glad i am back to comment on your blog my very dear friend, Love you and sending big hugs to you ALWAYS from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

  3. ROFLMHO! All that nonsense over a Tootsie roll wrapper. Men!

  4. Zelle -- oh good lord, only you! LOL! Where do you find this sh -- stuff?

    Jade -- welcome back!

    Bobbie Jo -- I know, right? Sheesh!

  5. roflmao... "google is my friend". LOL

  6. Erica, did you know that the Tootsie Roll, was invented by a nice 'Jewish' man, called Leo Hirshfeld. He named the candy after his daughter Clara 'Tootsie' Hershfeld. As for the wrapper that you got spanked for. Hershfeld, was the first person to wrap candy. My presonal taste in candy are Hershey's 'kisses'. They are so delicious in my mouth. I tell you whats more sweeter than that, your scrumptous spankable bare bottom. Love, you.

  7. I see once again you get off light , sighs , ya know your getting spoiled ;-) LOLOLOLOLOLOL

  8. six -- no, I did not know that. I did, however, know that the Baby Ruth candy bar was not named after Babe Ruth, but Grover Cleveland's daughter. :-)

    Alan -- oh, for God's sake. Trust me, I am NOT getting off light this coming weekend. :-)

  9. GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD roflmao Have a great time this weekend and keep the glowing side up !

  10. Too funny, Toots! It was kind of NG to go easy on you in anticipation of next weekend's frolics. I'm glad to hear that John and NG are on the same page.

  11. Dana -- Toots! LOL... that's what NG kept calling me last night, too.

  12. Way too funny. I don't think I will look at a tootsie roll the same way again.


  13. Emanuele -- (snickering) I don't think I will, either!

  14. I read- "Last Saturday at John's while we were watching TV, we were having SMACKS and drinking coffee" which seemed totally logical. Lol. Love that middle pic. :-) Hope you have a great time at Shadow Lane!

  15. Lea -- yeah, I like the middle pic best too. :-D