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Monday, August 22, 2011

Damned traffic!

New Guy called me tonight from the road; he was stuck on the 134 Freeway and it was not moving. Not at all. In fact, he called 10 minutes later and said it still hadn't moved, so he was going to be a while.

I checked one of the traffic websites, and sure enough, there was an accident on the 134 West. So he was 40 minutes late. Very frustrating drive.

Y'all know where this is going, right?

Of course! It was all MY fault. Because he wouldn't have been on that damn freeway in the first place if he weren't coming to see ME.

Hey, I didn't tell those idiots to crash into each other! I didn't send out a bulletin telling half the people in L.A. to get on the freeway at the same time. However, these logical points merely disintegrated into the Top Ether.

"I'm going to take my road rage out on your bottom," he growled.

"Why can't you get a gun like everyone else?" I blurted.

"Because this is more fun, and far less jail time."


A couple of minutes later, I couldn't resist needling him a little, saying, "You know, this doesn't really feel like road rage. It feels more like a road snit."

"Oh yeah??" Aaaaaand, that was the end of the warmup. Me and my big mouth.

Ah, but it's OK. I wasn't really complaining. :-) 

Afterward, he asked if I was happy. "Oh yeah," I gasped. He laughed. "But not too happy?"

"There are different types and degrees of happiness," I mumbled, still spacy. "This isn't like birthday cake happiness, it's more like spanked into @#$%ing oblivion happiness." Probably not the most articulate of explanations, but I think he got it.

Excellent news -- the remaining four books that CreateSpace owed me were delivered today, so I was able to give NG his signed copy.

My face is a bit overexposed, but I still like this shot -- Lookie! Me and my book! :-)

I need to stop clicking on CreateSpace every five minutes to check on sales. Obsessive much, Erica?

Thanks for another lovely Monday, not-so-New Guy. :-)


  1. You look too damned cute sittin' there holding your book! (especially with the implements sittin' there beside you. LOLOLOL)

    That "Not so New Guy" sure is a good problem solver. Leave it to him make lemonade out of a lemon!

  2. Zelle -- lemon, indeed. That traffic sure made him a sourpuss. :-)

    No doubt I'll pay for that, but as you know, I am incorrigible.

  3. Hahahahahahha! Ohhh the FUN never ends with you around! (grins)

  4. "Why can't you get a gun like everyone else?" LOL. Brilliant. My boyfriend always says everything's my fault, too. He always has an excuse to spank me :-)

    I agree with look cute in that last picture :-p


  5. Whenever we get stuck in traffic, I get blamed for going the wrong way. Its NYC traffic; there is no right way!!!

    Love the photo Erica.

  6. Hi Erica, I LOVE the last pic of you holding your book it's ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE :-)So NG was a sourpuss last night and took it out on you,I agree that it wasn't your fault you didn't hold up the damn traffic hehehe, When you said Why don't you get a gun like everyone else i laughed so hard hehehe LMAO, You sure come out with some good come back's my dear friend i love that about you :-) Love You and sending big hug's your way xoxo from your naughty girl Jade

  7. Hey kiddo , considering how sassy u were i would say you got off light . I have seen that lovely bottm MUCH redder than that , its barely a sexy pink at that stage . " grins"

    Looking forward to reading your book .

    I hope there a lotsa pictures , you know us Tops have trouble reading big words ! ROFLMAO

  8. Olivia -- yeah, they're good at those excuses, aren't they? (rolling eyes)

    joey -- LOL! Now there's a no-win situation.

    Jade -- my big mouth serves me well. Gets me in a lot of trouble, too. :-)

    Alan -- sorry, no pictures, except for the cover. I figure there's already a million pictures of me out there.

  9. I just clicked my order for your book - paperback, of course - on Amazon. I can't wait to dive in!

    - Dana

  10. Dana -- You are super! I do hope you'll like it.

  11. Being in L.A., I'm surprised he doesn't spank you out of traffic frustration EVERY week! What a mess that place can be. That is a cute picture.

  12. I spent a good portion of today immersed in your book, greedily devouring the contents. It is very well written (I would expect nothing less) and a fascinating read. I will email you privately when I have finished reading. I love the way you can recount some incredibly negative things without coming across in a negative way. I definitely recommend this book to all of your fans. Needless to say, some of the happier anecdotes have left me with a strong desire for a spanking....

  13. Lea -- you know it! I guess he has been lucky up to this point, because he's always so punctual.

    Dana -- oh, that makes me smile. Thank you. :-)

  14. Congratulations, Erica, I'm delighted that the book is perfected and out and will be ordering my paperback printed copy!

  15. Erica, you look ao beautiful and delightful, holding your book, 'Late Bloomer'.I could kiss you on that voluptous bare bottom of yours. I'm proud of you Erica, really, really proud. It makes me happy, when I see you smiling. Please do it more often.

  16. six -- I'll smile lots and lots if people read my book! :-)