I had to think about that for a few minutes. After all, what is kinky, anyway? Ask 100 people and you'll get 100 different answers. It's relative and subjective. One person's wild adventure might be another person's Monday. And there will always be people who are kinkier than you, who are into more things than you. Conversely, there will always be people less kinky than you, who think what YOU do is daring and off the vanilla path.
Perhaps "kinky," for some, translates to "something I haven't done." I mean, to a woman who has had nothing but missionary-position sex all her life, doggie style or 69 sounds kinky. For someone who has never experienced any sort of bondage, this photo might elicit an "ooh, kinky!" reaction:
Whereas this photo might make them hyperventilate:
Even within TTWD, there is a ginormous scale from mild to wild. If someone has never been spanked, then they'd probably define good old-fashioned OTK as kinky:
Whereas for some spankos, the cane is kinky:
And so on. You get my point.
So, with that relativity in mind, I decided to answer with what was kinkiest for me. It would be a tie between having sex in a public place (two times, both with John) and our going to a downtown swing club so I could participate in a demo with bullwhip artist Robert Dante (and then screwing the host couple, because, after all, we were in a swing club). That last one was a kink two-fer, I guess: 1) BDSM (whips) and 2) Sex With Strangers.
And now, I'm opening the floor, kids. Wanna share what you think is the kinkiest thing you've ever done? No judgments, no comparisons. This is just for fun. Do share, if you'd like to. :-)
For me, it was either the times I've been pegged by a woman with a strap on (good god I like that a LOT) or helping a woman play out her rape fantasies (which was much more intense and emotional than I thought it would be). Those push my limits more than anything else--which, I guess, is kind of what relative kinkiness means.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -- yes, I can see how negotiating and navigating through rape fantasies could be an emotional minefield. But it all plays into that "taking of control" thing that many of us love.
ReplyDeleteErica, the so called 'kinkiest', thing related to spankings, would be for me have performed in an 'Off Broadway Show', called "Another Way to Love", where I performed a spanking scene, watched in the audience by my vanilla boss. After my performance he congratulated me, with these words. "You sure had a spanking good time, with her. you rascal", with a wink in his eye. And took me out for a beer. True story.
ReplyDeletehehe...judgment or no, I won't say. Not because people will be shocked at how kinky it was but because people will be surprised at how very vanilla it was! :)
ReplyDeleteSix -- oh, I LIKE that story. :-)
ReplyDeleteAna -- awwwwwwwwwwww!
Certainly one of the kinkiest memories, strange to say, was years ago going to a "peepshow" with my first husband. That boy had kink. This was where you paid the fee and filed into a large dark room around a circular partition with windows spaced around it. The window shades went up and everybody watched the show together.
ReplyDeleteFirst, women did not go to these places. Radical feminists of the time had places like that on their "to bomb" list. So the frisson when I got in line and went in was palpable.
Second, I had been instructed very sternly to never lift my eyes and look at the other audience members. Yeah, right. The show was boring and the performance artist was bored. The show was in the faces of the men watching. I couldn't help it, I had to look. Surreptitiously as I tried he knew and after several sharp warning smacks, which caused the men around us to watch us, I was hustled out by my husband. And lectured and spanked later but hell. Win win. I wasn't looking at people in judgment and I caught a few eyes and a few smiles :)
I'm so very sorry. I have 3 equally shocking revelations which took place in my late 20s/early 30s.
ReplyDeleteSeveral years ago I belonged to a Bally's gym that had an outdoor pool. A very attractive guy came up to me and my best friend while we were laying out. He offered to rub sunblock onto my back/shoulders. We ended up in the pool together and I allowed his fingers to stray VERY far into my "Meow" zone while others were in the pool.
A man who I had a raging crush on asked a bar manager for a private space to spank me. Both men were in the private banquet area.
Several of my girl friends and I went to see male dancers. One who I thought was especially hot came into the Ladies bathroom and also put his fingers inside me. He also spanked my bare bottom. No one else witnessed.
Emen -- great story! I love that word "frisson." :-)
ReplyDeleteKelly -- what are you apologizing for, woman? Those were hot!
Well, the two kinkiest things I have ever done are first, having sex and getting spanked in a car in a parking lot and the second one is anal sex... that I will never do again. Hurts like hell!
ReplyDeleteErica, forgive my ignorance but what does TTWD stands for?
Nathalie -- well, you're braver than I am. I've never had anal sex, and I never will. And not ignorant at all -- TTWD stands for "This Thing We Do."
ReplyDeleteLOL thanks Erica!
DeleteKinky, eh? Hmmm. How about a cucumber? Over 20 years ago. Will not do that again!
ReplyDeleteUsually when I read blogs like this I think my life has been fairly vanilla, but reading through the comments thus far I've done most of the things other people have offered up. Maybe I'm kinkier than I thought? Sex outside, cucumbers, a threesome, anal, spankings, blindfolds, shows, light bondage... None of them are regular happenings, but when they do they're great fun. I've loved all of it. For me, I feel my kinkiest was either the threesome or a time when my partner and I had sex next to another couple who were also having sex. (What is that even called? A foursome? Lack of empty bedrooms?) The shared experience and the energy in the room was amazing. So maybe not kinky in the regular sense, but both were very intense experiences.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, not trying to advocate here, but I think anal sex is one of those things that it only works if it's done right. When everything goes well it's great, but if anything goes wrong it's terrible. Takes a lot of patience and careful experimenting.
Bobbie Jo -- see, I've never been penetrated by food items, either. Y'all are more adventurous than I am! :-D
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -- Hmmm. Perhaps having sex next to others having sex falls under the heading of exhibitionism?
Hi Erica,
ReplyDeleteI'll play. My story is shockingly vanilla, but for the context. It happened back in the seventies. Randy (yes, the same one) and I were driving on an expressway back east. I had my head in his lap and was admiring his gearshift. All of a sudden, he kind of clenched up.
"What's the matter?" I inquired. He told me we were approaching a tollbooth. I jumped up in a panic and scrambled to try to look something close to normal.
"Never mind," Randy said, "False alarm. It's one of those automated ones with the basket." With a sigh of relief, I returned to the task at hand.
The next thing I heard was an unfamiliar man's voice saying "Thank you, sir, and have a nice day." He was about half laughing. I was in equal measures mortified and turned on.
This episode wasn't that kinky, but it sure felt that way at the time.
Hugs,
Bonnie
Bonnie -- LMAO!! I'm sure that made the toll taker's day! But... BJs in a moving car? Ah, it was the 70s. "The World According to Garp" didn't come out until 1982. ;-)
ReplyDeletePerhaps I should have included a warning: Only try this at home! :)
DeleteI plead the 5th!
ReplyDeleteWe once had sex on the balcony of our second floor apartment. We couldn't be seen by anyone, but it was a hot summer night and everyone's windows were open (no A/C back then). I'm sure we were overheard by the neighbours.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Hermione
What seemed hot and kinky before, becomes much less so afterwards. We have done threesome's with another woman where spanking was the primary activity. Everyone spanked and got spanked.
ReplyDeleteWe have swapped with another couple. All in the same room. I thought it would be hot. Not so much.
Tie Bacall to a tree and have my way with her.
SC -- yeah, I figured many people would. But it was worth a try. :-)
ReplyDeleteHermione -- perhaps they all thought someone had their TV too loud, on the Skinemax channel. :-)
OBB -- interesting point; fantasies vs. realities. Oftentimes what sounds hot and steamy and risqué (and looks that way in the movies) doesn't quite play out that way for real.
I think it's all kinky...
ReplyDeleteCraig -- oh, way to not answer! :-Þ
ReplyDeleteMy ex and I had sex in the hot tub at a hotel we went to once. That probably skeeves all the germophobes out there, and it wasn't that great anyway. There was a time in high school where I was on a class trip and a guy I liked and I were in a hot tub, messing around under the cover of darkness, while some other classmates were actually in there too and none the wiser. At the time I thought "Omg, omg, someone's going to notice!" Lol. Hot tubs... Spanking related, I've somewhat recently played with a little bondage during a scene. I had a blindfold on and restraints on my wrists and ankles while I was being strapped and it was hot, leading to other things. That's pretty standard fare for some but was a new experience for me.
ReplyDeleteShould it worry me that my 'kinky' experiences all involve other people taking advantage of me? Or that the most genuinely innocent of them, considering the ages of the participants, would probably be the most kinky if both had been consenting adults? All you need to know is the kinkiest thing involved two ten year olds and two skipping ropes. And that the aftermath was a rather callous teacher who seemed to think a traumatised kid was being a 'pathetic baby', making a 'ridiculous fuss over nothing' and that being whipped with a skiiping rope 'can't have hurt THAT much'
ReplyDeleteCRIKEY! WHAT is WRONG with me today?!--Sorry, Erica, I'm off to blog about this one. Once I get the rage down to simmering, so I dont' murder my poor, defenseless computer.
Lea -- I'm not a germaphobe, but I've always had the impression that sex in hot tubs/bathtubs isn't as great as one would fantasize! But fooling around in them is fun... :-)
ReplyDeleteTerri -- oh dear. I'm sorry to evoke such a bad memory. :-(
Hey, that's life, Erica. Besides, the only reason that's a bad memory these days is the rather tactless teacher. Ten year olds are idiots, sometimes, so I just look back on that as an excuse to not play around with bondage, and to be more respectful of skipping ropes.
DeleteI'm late, sorry.
ReplyDeleteI saw a bumper sticker that read "it's only kinky the first time".
This probably isn't too kinky but we skinny dip in our backyard pool and have sex sometimes. It is always at night but it is an above ground pool and we live on a rather busy street. Oh, and did I mention street lights? - I have a lot more respect for dolphins.
Kaki -- skinny dipping is always fun! And even more so with the thrill of possibly being seen. :-D
ReplyDeletehmmmm... I'm going to say.. the kinkiest thing I've done, is when I had two hot (very experienced - TRUSTED) Tops cuff my hands (and later ankles - cause uhhh.. I kick shins when the whim hits me - LOL) to a portable stanchion in Morgan's suite at a Crimson Moon party - and then proceed to spank, paddle, crop, flog, singletail, and throw in some other 'tactile' implement teasing.. for about 40 minutes of shear bliss.
ReplyDeleteZelle -- I love being double-teamed, when the team is top-notch! :-D
ReplyDeleteOh for some reason.. I kinda figured that! LOL -- So long as the two Tops are respected Tops.. we're good to go dish out double the sass! (smiles)
Delete