Remember, spanking is fun!
(One of my favorite pictures of the inimitable Keith Jones and me, from 10 years ago at Shadow Lane in Palm Springs.)
Speaking of last Monday, I heard from Mr. D. Apparently, he pulled or strained a muscle in his right arm from our activities. Well, damn. Not only did I break a toy, I broke the top, too! (giggling) Seriously, though, I hope it's not too bad. And I can't gloat too much, since I have a bruise roughly the size of a tennis ball on my right cheek, plus other assorted "strawberries." I think we both underestimated that yellow-and-red paddle!
Last week, I posted about how kink is relative. In some of the comments and PMs I received, people mentioned how sometimes things they fantasized about seemed really hot, but in reality, they fell short. I thought it would be fun to open the floor again and talk about that.
In the fantasy stories, all sex culminates with explosive mutual orgasms, and all BDSM/spanking/whatever scenes go perfectly from start to finish, with instant chemistry and tops who can read bottoms' minds perfectly and so forth. In real life, you have stumbles and fumbles and misfires and things that go over like a lead balloon. Any of you ever try to make a fantasy happen for real and it didn't go the way you thought it would?
The first one that comes to mind for me is rather vanilla, but funny. You know the cliche scene in the movies, where the couple is in the kitchen and in the throes of passion, he lifts her onto the counter, she wraps her legs around him and he takes her right there? Looks unbearably hot, doesn't it?
Years ago, an old boyfriend and I tried that. He got the lifting up onto the counter part OK, but I crashed into a tray with salt-and-pepper shakers, oven timer and other kitchen paraphernalia and sent it all flying with a clatter. I leaned back and felt several of these items digging into my back, so I squirmed around, trying to get comfortable and failing. Meanwhile, he'd unzipped and was trying to maneuver himself into me, but the angle was wrong and we couldn't connect properly. He too shifted and squirmed, but it just wasn't this seamless melding of bodies the way it's purported to be. We were both puffing and panting and grunting "ow," and finally, he stopped and blurted, "This sucks!" I laughed and said, "Yeah, it really does!" He then scooped me off the counter into his arms, carried me into the bedroom and we finished things off the tried-and-true way.
OK, your turn! :-)
Erica, you're quite right. Every day is Consensual Spanking Day. I wasn't going to do a special post for it, but I had an odd collection of pictures and it seemed a good way to group them under a common theme.
ReplyDeleteWe've tried various forms of standing up/leg wrapping. It never works out. The stars (and other bits) just aren't aligned properly.
Hugs,
Hermione
I'm celebrating Consensual Spanking Day tomorrow... in style!
ReplyDeleteI have to say every single time there is a grand-sweeping-of-the-desk scene in a movie, I'm always thinking, "they're going to regret that when they have to re-organize all those papers in about 3 minutes!".
I agree with Hermione... any attempts with leg wrapping and air fucking never really pan out. I'm convinced the girl has got to be really light and the guy has to be really strong.
Oh Erica! I love this post! ♥♥ This reminds me of the line from Wedding Crashers: "Ouch, ouch, you're on my hair."
ReplyDeleteSometimes I watch porn and those girls can be on top and just go, go, go, and go. I would like to know how. Once I was having sex on someone's lap (on top), facing away from him, and after an embarrassingly short amount of time my legs were just burning, and I had to laugh, apologize, and say, "You're gonna hate me but I'm really out of shape." Sexy FAIL.
Hermione -- right? They make it look so fluid and easy. Who ARE these people?
ReplyDeleteSC -- good good GOOD for you, darlin'! :-)
Beth -- oops, you posted while I was posting! Oh yes, those acrobatic poses. Y'all can keep those; they're too much work! LOL
ReplyDeleteAbout 5 years ago we were having a nice mostly vanilla quiet night at home on a cold a Saturday evening. Blankets by the fire place, a bottle or two of wine, some new massage butter. One thing led to another and eventually on the way to our bed room I did the whole scoop her up and wrap her legs around me thing. It worked and I decided to press her back against the wall to allow a more solid and steady movement on her part. As the ladies above indicated in their comments, thighs burned, ham strings cramped and my biceps all but gave out so in relatively short order we went off to the bedroom just like you. The next morning when company came over for a late breakfast we realized there was more or less a silhouette of her in massage oil from her butt up on our wall across from the table. Repeated scrubbing and 3 coats of paint later you can hardly tell it was there.
ReplyDeleteErica, Happy Consensual Spanking Day. You are 'the salt of the earth', 'pepper'ed', with all its goodness'. Because you give every 'spanko enthusiast' a fair shake in life. XXX Luv.
ReplyDeleteMM -- OK, that made me laugh out loud. Awkward, much? Thanks for joining in!
ReplyDeleteSix -- I try. :-)
Fantasy gone wrong... Hmm, I had a moment similar to Erica's except we were trying to have sex bent over the bathroom sink. There was a mirror in there and we figured it would be fun. Sadly we ran into a problem, namely height difference, which made the angle required for penetration really awkward. Eventually we gave up and moved to the bedroom.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -- (giggles) I'm thinking that beds exist for a reason. Hard places like kitchen and bathroom counters, tables, walls, etc., are @#$%ing uncomfortable!
ReplyDeleteHappy CSD.
ReplyDeletePrefectdt
Prefectdt -- thanks!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right Erica, some long planned spanking scenes can break down and there is nothing to do but stop and laugh.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to learn others have problems with stand up hot scenes. We have tried all the rooms and a fair number positions. Nothing beats a bed.
PS there are a lot of women who might be jealous of you being spanked by Keith Jones. Bacall included.
ReplyDeleteOBB -- (sigh) Why do they torment us so with all these images, when in reality they're damn near impossible to work for most of us? Phooey!
ReplyDeleteKeith was my very first spanko "crush" -- I think I've mentioned that a time or two in the past. Or about 500 times. :-D
Sex in the pool that I mentioned on your other post was no easy task, leave it for the dolphins.
ReplyDeleteHi Erica, Happy CSD to you :-)I Love the pic of you and Keith Jone's, I wish he could spank me :-)He is so HOT. One of my fantasie's would be to do a mother/daughter or aunt/niece scene with Kelly Payne :-)In the scene she would ask me why her Diamond earring's are missing and i would say i haven't seen them or know why they are missing.But i just came back from shopping and i bought a IPAD 2 and she ask's me where i got the money from to buy something that expensive,I say i saved for it but she doe's not believe me, So finally after a long talk i confess that i pawned her earring's then she is VERY angry and take's me over her knee and give's me a very hard bare bottom spanking.First with her hand and then the hairbrush OUCH and to finish my spanking off she use's the strap and tawse on me :-)I would be one sore and sorry naughty girl but i would be Loving it so much :-) Hope you like my fantasy.Much Love and hug's from your naughty girl Jade
ReplyDeleteKaki -- yeah, doing it in water is overrated!
ReplyDeleteJade -- that would be a good video plot, yes. :-)
I'm celebrating by not getting a spanking! :)
ReplyDeleteI remember a dress that D insisted I buy. She wanted me to have something that would make me feel schoolgirl-ish and in a submissive mindset. Trouble was...it was an *ugly* dress. I tried as hard as I could to wear it and get in the mindset...but all I could think while wearing it was that it was an ugly dress.
Ana -- it's hard to get into a mindset when you're wearing something you don't like. I get that.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever see the love scene in the movie "From Here to Eternity" with Kerr and Lancaster. After watching that scene, I always wanted to do it on the beach.
ReplyDeleteOn a very secluded beach, LD and I thought it would be fun. We were soon covered in sand that stuck to our bodies. She told me I felt like sand paper. So, we ended up taking a shower in our hotel room and continued our love making.
Great topic.
Hug,
joey
What a great topic. I'm swept away by the comments, I can't think.
ReplyDeleteOne of the movie cliches that doesn't sweep me away is people waking up in bed and first thing kissing and having sex. Most people don't have breath you could contend with when they wake up. Me included. And I have to pee when I wake up. I have to pee Bad.
The other swept away cliche would be people stuffing themselves with food and drink, supposedly getting hotter and hotter and then immediately rolling off into wildsexland. No. I can't spank or sex on that full stomach. I once lost my head and lost my dinner on someone when I attempted a blowjob after a big meal. Not pretty.
Great post! Ugh
Joey -- LOL! Yes! Oh my god. I can only imagine all the couples who ended up with gritty sand in every orifice after watching that scene. In reality, Deborah Kerr probably ended up with seaweed in her hair.
ReplyDeleteEmen -- and yet, most men I know love morning sex. And yes, the food thing. Did you ever see the movie "Tom Jones"? There's a famous scene of a couple having an absolute orgy of food, tearing into everything and gobbling, then having wild sex. People say that scene is hot; I find it anything but!
So yes! That's the scene I was talking about. So glad u knew that.
DeleteHappy belated CSD Erica. I love that picture.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted to do it on a beach but thinking of all that sand getting everywhere I went off the idea:)
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Ronnie -- yes, because grit being pounded into your private areas is SO sexy. :-D
ReplyDeleteLiving in FL.. I've had a fair share of beach encounters. Let's just say "sex and water" DO NOT MIX. Add in sand.. and that's an immediate mood breaker for sure! Secondly.. hot tub sex is not what's it's cracked up to be either! Moral of this story is.. water and sex mix like oil and water.. so I stay far far away from anything that involves liquids outside of what I make myself. (snorts!) LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm with Emen, I don't find that realistic either. The first thing I do when waking up is go to the bathroom and brush my teeth before I'm going to be kissing anyone. Morning breath- not sexy. I'm not big on odd positioning either. I'm very tall and certainly no acrobat so crazy things that look interesting in a movie are not really going to be happening.
ReplyDeleteI'm very clumsy so fumbling actions follow me wherever I go. One time I was in bed with someone and we were kissing and while trying to run my hands through his hair, I totally stabbed his ear with my fingernail. Another time, in changing positions I accidentally elbowed him right in the eye. Oops!
I've had things go wrong in spankings as well. One time while a top was in stern mode with me, he went to unbutton my jeans but they turned out to be too tricky with a double button. After fumbling for a minute, he said "Okay, you take them down" and I was trying not to laugh. Another time, I walked out of a booth from playing and smacked my head right into a wall mounted speaker. Maybe "clums-lea" should be a new term!
Zelle -- in FL, you make plenty of your own liquids... in SWEAT!!
ReplyDeleteLea -- HA! I'm clumsy too, trust me. Your jeans story reminds me of a time on film years ago when the top was trying to unbutton my old-fashioned bloomers, but the buttonhole was very tight. He struggled on camera and ad-libbed, "Have you got these things NAILED on??"