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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Today at the mall

Went against better judgment in hopes that an inspiration for John would strike. The man is impossible to buy for, but every now and then, I get lucky. This year, no ideas.

Parked two blocks away on residential street to avoid the crazily crowded lots. Walked in and looked at mall directory. Five million stores. He likes Old Navy. Every other store but Old Navy. He likes books. Five million stores, but not one book store. He likes CDs. No music stores left, either. It's a Kindle/MP3 world.

Wandered through mall. Walked into a couple of clothing stores to look at men's shirts. Very specific taste -- collared shirts, short sleeves, 100% cotton. Saw nothing like that. Left clothing stores.

Bought myself a 2012 calendar. Bad Kitties. Thought that was apropos.

Thirsty. Stopped at Food Court to get a soda. Stood in line 15 minutes for one freaking drink.

Went into Target, hoping music section might have some CDs. Nothing but rock and rap -- no classical or jazz, his two favorites. Left Target.

Saw a mini-train chugging through the mall, shuttling small children. Looked at the side and saw it was named the "Red Caboose Express." Stood there staring at it and giggling. People passing by looked at me funny.

Went into one more clothing store, but sensibilities were assaulted by over-loud Xmas music. Left store without looking.

Went into Things Remembered (personalized gifts) and considered a nice coffee mug. They couldn't engrave it while I waited -- I'd have to come back to the mall later in the week. Forget that. Left Things Remembered.

Figured this was hopeless and left the mall.

Drove home in traffic. Took a gulp of my soda at a red light and it went down the wrong way. Had to pull into a parking lot until I stopped wheezing.

Got home. Went online and ordered John a gift card on

Probably what I should have done in the first @#$%ing place.


  1. I'll take that mall and raise you a trip to the DMV (not really too bad, I had an appointment) and the Post Office (omigod, 90 minutes in line).

    Nothing like the holidays...

  2. Mija -- holy crap, 90 minutes?? I guess I should be grateful that I have no need to visit the P.O.!

  3. Ah, the joys (NOT) of mall shopping! (rolling eyes) The Red Caboose Express, eh? Well, then, the trip was worth seeing that, don't you think? :-P

    Forget the post office! At this time of year, it is downright crazy. Even where I live. I mean I had to wait 15 min. because a lady didn't know how to send a present in a box! And in addition to her I had three other people in front of me! And the traffic! I had to wait for about four or five cars to go by before I could leave the parking lot!

    Ok! Ok! Yeah, I live in Small Townville. Sorry you had to deal with all the major holiday stuff and not find anything worth giving. Anymore, I give cash.

    Have a good weekend anyway. After all, it will be with John.

  4. Hi Erica, Sorry you had to go to the mall for nothing :-( but happy you ordered John a gift card :-)I agree the mall is freakin crazy and it's a mad house there UGH.I hate when my drink goe's down the wrong way as well cause i cough and my face turn's red, sorry that happened to you.The Red Caboose Express hehehe LMAO,Wouldn't it be so COOL if the train was named that cause it was a train you ride in to get spanked hehehe LOL,If so that would be our kind of train :-)What's wrong with people don't they have a sense of humor they shouldn't be looking at you funny i guess they are NOT spanko's like us then. Love you big hug's from your naughty girl Jade XOXO

  5. Bobbie Jo -- yeah, the caboose was worth it. And the calendar. :-)

    Jade -- you know, it still hurts down in my throat! I don't recommend choking on soda. It really burns. That's what I get for drinking and driving. :-)

  6. I hate the mall on an average day, much less near the holidays. What a pain. I must say though that husbands and boyfriends often don't require any shopping. Most men are happy with one thing and it happens to be free. Not to be too crude. ;-)

  7. If I can, I avoid malls especially in the holiday season. Lots of people in the mood for shopping apocalypse make me quite nervous. The streets to the malls are crowded, you have to search endlessly for a parking lot and people drive in berserker mode, at least here in Germany. But that avoidance of mine leads every year to the same problem: I haven't yet any presents for my parents. Of course, they say they don't want anything (that's what I always say, too), but in the end, you end up buying something. Maybe I will give the Amazon option a try.

  8. The only time I was in an Old Navy, the loud, terrible music drove me out within five minutes. I thought the store catered to all ages, not just teens who probably like that kind of noise.

    When I go to the supermarket on Sunday morning I'll either hear sixties oldies or country, depending on the store.

    I went to WalMart on Monday, and the enormous parking lot was almost full. My husband adores online shopping; no humans involved.



  9. This year I did all my shopping from my big comfy easy chair, I just sat back and surfed the net looking for gifts, no crowds, no issues with finding a parking spot, no Post Office and I had my choice of drinks. When the stress of shopping on line became too great I was able to take a break and spend some time reading your blog. But of course I missed seeing the Red Caboose Express, although I might have been sporting a "Red Caboose" myself :-(
    But alas not everything was so easy I was forced to watch the Polar Express which was like going to the mall, getting stuck in traffic, spending hours at the Post Office and getting a root canal all at the same time. I am glad you survived your trip to the crazy mall.

  10. Lea -- HA! So we should just put a pretty bow on our nether regions and be done with it? (now who's crude?) :-D

    Fenris -- absolutely, try Amazon. They have the gift card option, plus they have everything you could possibly want to order.

    Hermione -- the Old Navy here isn't as teen-ish, I don't think. Now Forever 21, that's another story.

    VBB -- you had to watch Polar Express? You must have been very, VERY bad.

  11. I enjoy the mall when I know ahead of time what I want to buy. But what REALLY agitates the piss out of me is the narrow walkways on either side of the mall-with hordes of teens walking in sets of 3's and 4's practically hogging the ENTIRE free space.

    THEN we have the survey takers who attempt to accost people in the middle of said crowded aisles! :( I'm "rude", I ignore them and bolt right past them.

  12. Kelly -- oh GAWD, those survey takers! You can't look at them; if you even give them a nanosecond of a glance, they're all over you. Same thing with the product testers. NO, I don't want you to rub my hands with sea-salt scrub.

  13. I'd rather take a beatin' than get within a mile of a mall...

    (well.. I'd rather take a beatin in lieu of a gazillion things... but I digress)

    HATE THE MALL! -- Hate shopping ... period.

    If I can't get it online... well.. let's just say it better be somewhere ONLINE.

    Last time I went to a Mall.. all it took was one rude person bumping into me, and then she started blaming ME for not looking where I was going (!!) have me turn around and walk right back out to my car.

  14. Zelle -- I have to be in a very specific mood for shopping, or else it makes me nuts. Thing is, I cannot buy clothes online. I must try them on. But other stuff? Click click click.

  15. Read Erica's blog.

    Listened to her grumble.

    Wished she'd just bought an Amazon gift card...


  16. Craig -- but that wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining, would it...