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Friday, December 2, 2011

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 12/2

We interrupt the ongoing drama with a humor break.

can u handle powerful MASTER?

Yup -- I click DELETE.

Hey sexy gorgeous I will u a full body with candle lights and shared some wine with you and giving u a nice kiss!! How are u?

At the moment, perplexed. You will me a full body with candle lights? I'm sorry you died, but really, couldn't you just give it to charity? There are so many unfortunate half-full bodies out there.

I wish I had a room with cages, chains, whips and other toys for you...desire to have you tied up with ropes

give you spank, whip, hear moaning, suck and bite your breasts, bite your buttocks, penetrate your vagina and your anus all night

fornicate in the streets, in the forest, in the car... but also want a wife, a girlfriend, a friend, a lover

You want four women? How greedy of you.

I had to laugh -- notice how he used all the proper formal words, even though he was discussing my complete defiling. Fornicate??

i want to expierence what you like. i want to do something other than just fuck....maybe i might like spanking you.i do not know.

And you never will know, I'm afraid.

I'm still amazed buy the shape of your but

My but what?

And finally:

For the last 18 months, I have been "involved" with a lovely, stacked redhead who just cannot get enough spanking ... seeps as if the harder I spank her, the hotter she gets ... we work on squirting as well, and during our last "session" she got so hot being spanked that she soaked the bed with her ejaculation ... which was HOT.

If you are interested in an encounter with a mature couple ... participating in hard spanking threesome fun, let me know and we can set up a "spanking conference" to introduce ourselves.

(scrubbing vigorously with brain bleach) Ummm... no. No, thank you. And speaking of bleach, you may want to do some laundry.

In other news... Mother Nature had a major tantrum here in Southern CA this week, with a "Santa Ana wind event" the likes of which are seen only once every 5-15 years. Hardest hit was the San Gabriel Valley... where John lives. He stays in Orange County all week for work, but he'll be coming home today, to a completely dark town. Thousands of people in several cities have no power, and the power company is restoring it, city by city. It's estimated that John's town may not have power for another two to four days.

I called him last night and asked him to please call one of his neighbors and get the lowdown from someone who's there, because the news always makes everything sound so much more horrible. He said he'd call me back if he heard any bad news about his house, and he hasn't called, so no news is good news. I'm hoping he will come home later today and find nothing more than a lot of leaves and branches to sweep up and some spoiled food in the fridge. And then he'll be coming here for the weekend.

Always something, isn't it?

Stay safe, y'all. And have a great weekend. 


  1. Man... those CHoS's of yours sure do take the cake! After they've taken your other body parts. LOLOL

    So sorry the SA winds are wreaking havoc out there. Hope John's property is okay! I'm glad the casualties to humans and animals isn't topping the news headlines! Material things can be replaced.

    Hope you guys have a quiet weekend.. :-)

  2. Zelle -- no injuries reported, thank goodness. Just a whole lot of people in the dark. I'm getting ready for my house guest.

  3. Wow! I am constantly amazed at the half literate/super bold suggestions which enter your inbox.

    Mother Nature is a jerk but at least you get John's company anyhow. Have a nice weekend-hopefully drama free. :)

  4. Kelly -- half-literate is very generous of you. And yes, please, no drama.

  5. fornicate in the streets

    Could be a sequel to the Beatles Do It In The Road?

  6. OBB -- or perhaps to "Dancin' in the Streets."

  7. Hi Erica, I laughed so hard when i read this hehehe LMAO :-)Those guy's that wrote you are sure STUPID they can't spell and sometime's i can't make head's or tail's of what they are talking about hehehe LOL.I am so relieved that you and John are safe :-)I saw pic's of CA on the news the pic's were TERRIBLE a tree fell through someone's bedroom which was scary :-( I hope John's house is ok.Wishing you and John a nice relaxing weekend :-)much love and hug's from your naughty girl Jade XOXO

  8. Jade -- I haven't heard from John yet, but I am hoping for the best.

  9. "buy the shape of your but" - How many shapes of your butt do you have for sale? Do they come in different colors? Is there a discount if I buy more than one shape? I am always looking for a good shaped butt to use when I get myself in trouble, will you combine shipping if I buy a dozen or more?

    I hope everything is fine with John and his house.

    The VBB

  10. Drama? What drama? Did I miss a post or something else?

    I heard about those winds. Sounds like what we went through in New Jersey just a little while ago.

    Hope everyone gets through it ok.

    I think my head would explode if I had to read these type of emails constantly.

    Have a great weekend, too.


  11. Well I must say for the last CHOS post, at least he used proper grammar. Lol! Hope all is well with John's house.

  12. "...seeps as if" - sounds like a soaker hose. Very useful to have one that seeps and another that squirts.

    I love your CHoS posts. Keep 'em coming!


  13. VBB -- alas, I just have one shape, and you can't have mine; I need it. From what I've read, yours seems to be in good working order. :-)

    bree -- oh, my head exploded a long time ago.

    Lea -- it's OK at John's house. He is staying here with me, because of the power situation, but his house is fine. :-)

    Hermione -- LOL! Yup, this woman seeps and squirts. Sounds like a Depends issue to me.

  14. Darn... I'm a little sad to see marshmallow rubbing didn't make your list. :)

    Always a hoot, Erica.

  15. Happy to hear all well with John;s house Erica.

    Love these posts.


  16. Why would someone not even certain if they like spanking be coming onto you on your blog? I am so confused...

  17. Beth -- that was fairly innocuous, considering some of the other things that have been suggested to me re. rubbing. ;-)

    Ronnie -- thanks; yup, he's on his way back there as we speak.

    Craig -- 'cause they're kinda stupid?

  18. Marshmallow rubbing? I assume it has nothing to do with hot chocolate or Smores or roasting over a fire. Please don't tell me either. I don't want to know. :shock: