Asked & Answered!

It's March 29, so Q&A month is nearly over. I figured I would take some time today to answer the questions some of you posed to me. I didn't get a whole lot of people, but several of you asked more than one question, so this will probably be a long entry.

MrJ: So: what are the 2, 3 most interesting changes in the spanking world that you have observed since you got involved? Etiquettes; networks; habits, whatever?

The changes in the video industry, certainly. With the advent of streaming content, Spanking Tube, etc., there is a whole lot more available for viewers than ever before. Shooting a video used to be a big production; now, more often, it's quick clips, no scripts, no elaborate story line. Also, the party scene has grown tremendously. It used to be that Shadow Lane and Crimson Moon were the only games in town, as far as big weekend parties were concerned. Now we have BBW, FMS, TASSP, and several other smaller groups; many more chances for spankos to congregate en masse. And finally, blogging has changed the posting world. It used to be all about forums and groups (Yahoo and MSN, the now-defunct SSS), but these days, blogs (and picture collections) are in the forefront.

MrJ: Why do you prefer winter over summer?

I don't like sunshine and heat. My happiest, most serene days are cloudy, gray and cool. Granted, I live in CA, where we don't have much of a winter. But I relish our rainy, dark days. I sleep better when it's cool. And I love it when it gets dark at 5:00! Daylight lasting until 8:00 annoys the hell out of me. Yes, I'm weird.

Lea: First, how many implements has your iron ass caused to bite the dust? ;-) Second, what piece of advice would you give to someone new to this?

Ha! I haven't kept count over the years. Several canes, yardsticks, hairbrushes, and a few miscellaneous items. Oh, and this butter paddle (from Spanking Epics, The Puritan):

It's difficult to choose one piece of advice for a newbie, since there is so much information. But I would say, "It's your body, it's your kink, it's your choice. Do what feels right to you; listen to your inner voice, rather than what others may dictate to you about how you should do things. If something doesn't feel or sound right, then chances are, it isn't. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, or play with anyone you don't want to. EVER."

Jade: Do you think it's best to get a warm-up first before getting spanked with hard implements like the tawse or hairbrush? Is it just a myth that having lotion rubbed on your bottom before a hard spanking stops the skin from tearing open? How many videos have you been in altogether? 

1. Absolutely, I am a big fan of warm-ups. I realize that some think they have no place in pure discipline scenes, but even a brief one helps the body and mind prepare for harder play. 2. I couldn't say; every situation is different. But it seems that if the skin is very dry, it would break more easily. I don't see a downside in using lotion (although some say it increases the sting!). 3. I had to think about that one a while! If I'm recalling correctly, between full-length videos and several smaller clips, I believe I've done 34 total.

Anonymous: Does having a blog ever get sort of "cumbersome" in that when you're experiencing things, instead of just letting go and experiencing the present, you're already thinking about how you'll write about it?

I wouldn't say cumbersome, since I love blogging. But sometimes, yes, I catch myself thinking about blogging while in the middle of a spanking experience. Not necessarily writing it out in my mind, though. More like, something happens, something is said, etc., and I think, "Oh! I'll need to remember that for the blog!" But if I catch myself ruminating too much, I repeat Alex's mantra of "Be here, now" in my head and force myself to focus.

Anonymous: I don't intend for this be be a nasty question, but I know it's not every one's cup of tea, or water. But I'm just curious. Does the spanking thing ever get old, boring or mundane and have you ever considered a different fetish for a change of pace? For example, something like doing an enema video? I know Enemarotica is always looking for fresh, talented and beautiful women. You are a gorgeous lady and it would be a huge hit with at least one of your biggest fans. And I'm sure such a video would be a best seller and make a lot of money.

Fair enough. First, spanking never gets old for me. I might have my times when I don't feel like it, but overall, it would be like sex or chocolate getting old. Or breathing. :-) Second, I never did videos for the money or the selling appeal, although I was certainly happy if they did well. I did them because they brought me joy, and there was something so perversely delightful about getting paid for doing something I loved anyway. There are a lot of things I could have done in order to shoot more (topping, F/F, other fetishes, etc.), but  that wouldn't have been fun for me. As for enemas -- remember, I had eating disorders for 20 years. I abused my body with laxatives, enemas and diuretics to purge myself of a couple of pounds so I'd be happy when I stepped on the scale. So enemas do not have a sexy connotation to me in the least. Not going there on video or in private.

Kaelah: Your relationship with John is an open one in the sense that you are both free to participate in kinky play with others. Could you imagine to give up that freedom under any circumstances?

The short and easy answer is no. But yes, easy for me to say when I don't have to make that decision. However, I don't think I could sacrifice that freedom and joy of playing with others. I love John dearly, but he does not fully meet my kink needs (nor I his), and I can't see being in a relationship where I couldn't indulge my need for spanking. I went without it for too many years; I won't go without it again.

Ronnie: Who would you want to play the role of you in a movie? What's your least favourite implement?

I'll answer the second one first, 'cause that's easier! :-) It would be a toss-up between those thick, thuddy wooden frat paddles and anything made of rubber. You might think that because rubber is flexible, it feels somewhat like leather. NOT!!

The first question is a toughie. I was thinking about a lot of the mainstream actresses around these days, and they're too young and classically beautiful (Angelina, Scarlet, Anne Hathaway). It would have to be someone kind of quirky, who could handle sarcastic humor and laughing at herself, but could keep it real for the serious scenes. Maybe Sandra Bullock?

Anonymous: Is there anyone in the spanking film industry you would like to play with that you haven't had the chance to work with up until now? Second question: Is there any scenario or script you would like to role play (either on film or in your personal life) that you haven't done before?

Don't even have to think about the first question; Eric Strickman, AKA Uncle Eric. I've never met him (although we've chatted online), but I would certainly love to. Have had a little spanko crush on him for years! Here he is spanking Samantha Woodley:

As for the second question -- you know, I need to come up with some new ideas. I've been so lucky, being able to play out so many of my favorite fantasies and scenarios (the damsel in distress, the older bottom/younger top, etc.), and I need to refresh my spanko bucket list. One scenario I always thought would make a cute video (and I haven't seen it to this date, although it may exist), would be an irresponsible taxpayer being audited by an IRS agent.

Loki: I was always curious as to the reasons behind your weekly play. Why do you do it and would it be a good idea for others?

I didn't always have these weekly sessions. For many years, when John and I were going to a lot more local parties and I was shooting now and then, I got a lot more spanking fixes and I only played one-on-one in my apartment periodically. I had play partners, but I would see them every couple of months or so. The regular thing started with Danny; he and I would see one another every other Monday. And then when I started playing with ST, his schedule was completely conducive to seeing each other weekly, so we did so. It just sort of evolved.

A lot of spankos are involved in relationships where they play regularly with their mate (particularly DD/HOH couples). John and I don't have that dynamic. And I crave spanking -- it fulfills me on so many levels. Hence, I find that the weekly intense fix helps me deal with the dearth of parties and shoots and so forth. Plus, I love the deep connection I have been able to forge with my tops in recent years; something that isn't quite as achievable with once-in-a-while play. I can't speak to whether or not it would work for others, but it certainly does for me. :-)

And finally --

Bobbie Jo: When are you going to write that book about the CHoS?

I need to, don't I. (sigh) I certainly have enough material for it! It's a matter of organizing and categorizing it into sub-chapters, then fleshing it out with explanatory writing. It would certainly be a different type of book in the spanking realm. At first I thought I should next write a full-length spanking romance novel (you know, kind of like Fifty Shades of Grey, but with good writing?). But now, it seems everyone and their kinky cousin is doing that. Anything I could produce would just get lost in the steamy shuffle. 

Yes, I really need to do this. It's a matter of finding (or making) the time.

Thank you, everyone who posted a question! Hope i answered to your satisfaction.

Have a great weekend, y'all.