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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Guess what I need??

OK, kids. Enough of this off-topic sh... stuff. Vanilla is too depressing and politics/religion is too incendiary. Time to get back to basics.

Who wants to play a game? This is a really simple one: Guess What Erica Needs.

1. John is still killing himself with ridiculous hours this week and I'm driving him crazy with my worrying. Guess what I need?

2. After doing three batches of work for my new client, I invoiced them this week... for a whopping $122. Hot damn! I'm rich! Now I can pay for about four days of next month's rent! (heavy sigh) Guess what I need?

3. We had a nice couple of days' break from the extreme heat (it actually got down to the 90s! Break out the Snuggies!), but tomorrow, it's back up to the 100s. Guess what I need?

4. I spent four hours yesterday dealing with public transportation to get downtown to an appointment that took 15 minutes. My bouncy, noisy, rattling bus ride home was enhanced by a man sitting a few feet away, having a very animated conversation... with himself. Guess what I need?

5. Last night, someone on FetLife referenced "Fifty Shades of Grey" while discussing things one could do to add extra zing to a spanking. Now even FetLifers are using that pile of dreck as a reference?? I wanted to reach through the computer screen and throttle people at random. Guess what I need?

6. I am so irritable, I'm actually talking back to commercials on TV. An ad for seasoning came on, claiming that "Life is a pulled pork sandwich." WTF? OK, Madison Avenue. Life is a lot of things, but it most surely is not a fucking pulled pork sandwich. I don't even like pork, pulled or otherwise. Does that mean I'm dead? So yes, I shouted at the television screen. Guess what I need?

Time's up! What did you guess?

Was it this?

Good guess. I'm sure many think there are times I could use a straitjacket. But no, try again.

How about this?

OK, that's a close second. Very little in this life that stuffing oneself with chocolate won't ameliorate, at least for a little while. Not a win, though.

Oooh! This for sure, right?

Hmmm. It's not the right answer, but if I had a money tree, I certainly wouldn't cut it down.

Now for those of you who guessed I need a whole freaking lot of THIS:

You go to the head of the class!

(That's Tubaman Paul, by the way, doing the honors.)

It's only Wednesday? Can't I bypass the rest of this damn tedious week and get to the good stuff??


  1. All of those things suck and odds are it will be little consolation but at least you know what you need. So many people in the world don't have a clue (even if its not a spanking). Hope your needs get met sooner rather than later!

  2. Oh Erica...!

    I can't help but LOL through this whole post. I love it.

    Hit the gym and get some of those endorphins in until you see Mr. D on Monday! I know, it's SO far away... but I'm sure he'll make it worth the wait! :)


  3. Michael -- it's not even consolation that I seek now; I just want some of that sweet oblivion for a while. :-)

    SC -- good! I'd much rather have people laugh with me than at me. :-) Oh, you can just bet I'm at the gym today AND tomorrow! And all the machine-hoggers, gum-poppers and during-class chatterboxes better damn well stay out of my way, too.

  4. A funny, new classic. Those of us who work at home (and frequently have too much time on our hands) can find it very easy to play the game, lol. Thanks for making me smile!

  5. Yup. I need that. But I need you too, snarkangel. Thanks!

  6. Dana -- whaddaya know; I just got another batch of work from the cheapo client. Oh well, at least it will keep me out of trouble for a little while.

    Emen -- snarkangel! I like that. :-)

  7. Huh... I was going to guess an ice-cold double mocha frappuccinno.


  8. You need a spanking. And, you need to get John to take good care of himself.


  9. Wolfie -- nahhh. I wouldn't waste that many calories on something liquid. Drinking my Diet Peach Snapple and saving up for chocolate!

    joey -- (sigh) What I really need to do is stop fussing at him. He's not going to change, and I'm just making us both nuts.

  10. You RICH Biotch, you...! :))))

    Public transportation BITES ASS! I'm grateful it's available to me, but the song and a dance routine it takes to get to and fro makes me VERY, very happy it's just part time.

    You've dealt with alot of upheaval lately, no wonder you're aggravated. And YES, tell those fucking machine hogs to MOVE OFF of the machines if they're NOT going to use them!

  11. Kelly -- the drive from where I live to downtown L.A. is a bitch, and parking there is even worse. So I did the bus/train/walk thing. I agree, the option is good to have, but the system leaves much to be desired.

  12. Hi Erica -- My guess was that you need a spanking :-D HEHEHE LOL,I need one too :-)I am very miserable and annoyed i am just tired of everything :-( that money tree doe's look good though :-)This game was fun i enjoyed it very much.I sent out your birthday gift's today :-)much love and hug's from naughty girl Jade

  13. You had me at .. "ameliorate".


  14. Jade -- hope you feel better soon!

    Zelle -- like my million-dollar words, huh? :-D

  15. Dear Erica

    You may not get what you want, but you will get what you need. Just keep it up. From John that is and those who love you.


  16. Emanuele -- I always do. Thank you, Mick. :-)

  17. I guessed the spanking! It's still in the 100s in mid September? Yikes!

  18. Lea -- for Southern CA, unfortunately, that is not unusual. Blech.

  19. Oh, Erica, me too and with bells on.
    I have not seen my boyfriend for almost two weeks and he arrives tomorrow. I am partly excited and partly just wanting to throw myself over his lap.
    Ok- that is all excited.
    You and I need a time machine. (And a money tree)

  20. Poppy -- tomorrow!! What a reunion that will be! :-) Enjoy enjoy enjoy.

  21. Public transportation sucks. Our system goes one way only. Every bus has a big circle of a route around different parts of town, so sometimes getting from A to B means you have to go via C through K. I only use it in emergencies now.

    That fee does seem kind of low for what you do. But at least you enjoy your work.


  22. Erica, how beautiful you look, with your dress up, and your panties down, showing us your bare bottom being spanked. As always you look so sexually erotic, when you are wearing garter-belt and stockings, that enhance that naked rear end of yours. XXX Luv ya.

  23. Hermione -- they pay a flat fee per page. It's deceptive. The pages are double-spaced, so you think it's a piece of cake, until you realize all the stuff they want you to do takes a ton of time. (sigh) But work is work.

    Six -- I was a badly behaved wife who embarrassed her husband at a work function. At least I was dressed nicely. :-)

  24. I can absolutely relate to your feelings, Erica! I haven't seen Ludwig in more than two weeks and it will be about another two weeks before I will see him again. And then I am not even sure whether I will have enough energy left for a spanking (I have to finish some work that really wears on my nerves). Maybe I will just prefer cuddling.

    I know that you aren't interested in topping in real life – but if you want to get rid of some aggressions by spanking pixel butts, in my recent post called "Kinky Games" I linked to a wonderful little kinky game which Underling has created with lots of love. It has a sweet retro look and is a great little piece of kinky art in my opinion. :-)

  25. Kaelah -- oh, no, two MORE weeks? (sigh) At least you have the work to keep you occupied, but it sucks that it's tedious. And certainly nothing wrong with cuddling. I need that too. Lots of it. :-)

  26. Would you mind donating about 20 degrees increased temps to my neck of the woods. As of yesterday, it IS still technically summer. But the am temps have been in the mid 40s. WTF?! I have been forced to wear a semi heavy jacket. I.WANT.HEAT! :)

  27. Kelly -- if I could give it to you, believe me, I would. Currently, at 6:30 p.m., it is 90 degrees here.

  28. Why would anybody suggest that our favorite masochist needs exercise when we are all aware that her greatest desire is a soundly spanked bum?


  29. John -- that's easy. Because I can't always get my greatest desire, and exercise helps me blow off steam (plus keep that bum in good shape)! :-D

  30. Fee seems quite low for the work you do.

    Weekends here Erica so not too long to wait. Beautiful photo.


  31. Ronnie -- yes, it's Friday. Finally. :-)