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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Delayed gratification IS sweet

Mr. D and I have played four times now. Is that all it's been? It's amazing to me, how he slipped in and made a place for himself so quickly. A door closed, and he threw open a window.

I didn't know I was so tense. Maybe it was residual from the wedding business. Maybe it was getting so completely geared up yesterday and then having to wait. Maybe it was my fretting about John (for a change, right?), who is in the middle of a large and important project at work and will be working even crazier hours than usual for the next couple of weeks (including weekends, most likely). Or maybe because I'm just normally wound up tighter than a Slinky and that's why I need stress release on a regular basis. Whatever it is, Mr. D seems to be able to tap right into my mushy center, without having to shatter my brittle exterior. His approach is somewhat different: He melts it. And I really don't know how he does that. I just know it happens.

He arrived today around 12:30. We talked for a while, caught up on things. He asked me about the party, I asked him about his neighbor. And then he uttered the phrase I have already learned is a standard of his: "Come here, you." I like that. :-)

Little longer and a bit more powerful warmup hand spanking -- lovely. The hand is a resilient thing. His will be as tough as a brick after a few more weeks with me. :-D

We then moved to the bedroom, where he declared my feet were too twitchy and pulled out some restraints. Here's a "before" picture, no color yet:

He got a small wooden paddle and something else (the hairbrush?) from my drawer. I wondered at first why he didn't retrieve the Spanking Buddy or the leather paddle... then realized he'd taken those home with him last time. (forgot to ask how his friend liked them; will have to follow up on that!) I'm not sure why, but I was prickly at first, and I got irritated when his phone kept ringing. (His workday wasn't over, since it was earlier.) He apologized and put it on silent, which I appreciated. Then he went to work with his hand and with the implements.

The prickliness dissolved, instantly. His voice was calm, and he interspersed the swats with caresses to my hair, with leaning down and whispering comforting words. "You want more, don't you," he murmured. "I know what you want." "Yes... yes. More, please," I pleaded. I was ready to jump out of my skin, I wanted that sweet pain and that release so badly.

Before I knew it, I was weeping. That inner dam, that knot of everpresent tension I swallow around every damn day, broke wide open yet again. I tried to hide my face, but he brushed my hair back and away and gathered me close. "I've got you," he said. "Let go. I'll catch you." That made me cry harder. But it felt good. I could feel the tension pouring out like poison, leaving me clean and clear.

He let me cry for a long time, and when he sensed I was calmer, he rolled me onto my back. Instinctively, I looked away, not wanting him to see my smeared makeup, my red eyes and nose. "No," he said. "Look at me." I did.

"You rest -- I'm going to check my phone for a minute." I lay there, feeling myself sink deeper into the bedclothes. He listened to one message, then looked over at me. I was wiping tears off my face. "Don't move," he said, and picked up the camera again. I kept still, fighting the urge to roll away from him and hide my face. I let him capture my vulnerability.

I don't care for this picture. It makes me squirm a little. But I'm posting it anyway, because it's real.

We cuddled in aftercare mode and talked for a long time after that. I don't remember what he was telling me, but at some point, he asked if I understood him. I nodded and said yes. Then he got a twinkle. "Yes, sir," he prodded.

And I burst out laughing. "Oh, you think that's funny?"

"No," I burbled, giggling my head off. "I think it's hilarious!"

His reply was to roll me back onto my stomach and pick up the paddle again. Good Christ, that thing hurt the second go-round! I was thrashing around, laughing and screeching at the same time.

"What's this? It hurts? What happened -- I thought you were the tough girl!"

"It's the second time, not the first," I hollered. "I'm sore! I'm tender!"

"Oh, well," he teased. "I thought you could take anything, but if you can't take it..."

Push my buttons, why don't you! "Oh, fuck off," I snapped. Uh oh. Did I say that in my speaking voice or my thinking voice?

WHACK!! "What was that you just said??" Damn. My speaking voice, apparently.

He held me down firmly and kept going. "Would you care to repeat that?"

"OK... fuck off, sir." That didn't please him either. "Hey, I said sir!"

Nope, not good enough. He didn't stop until he heard, "AllrightallrightI'msorry!" It was so worth it. :-D

So I had both tears and laughter. And finally, the boneless bliss.

He had to leave around 4:00. And tomorrow, he leaves for a vacation that will extend into next week. However, we are on for a week from Monday. It will be right after my birthday, and he has already promised me a belated birthday spanking and lots of attention. Prepare to be pampered and paddled, he said.

I can't wait.

Tonight, the hot water spray in the shower stung my bottom like so many tiny needles. I loved it.

I am a lucky woman.

Go have a wonderful time, Mr. D. I'll be here when you get back.

I'm not going anywhere. :-)


  1. Hey there Miss Smarty Pants:

    VERY cherry cheeks you have. Rather than seeing it as a curse, I see it as a blessing to mouth off even more when you/we should clearly know better! :)

    Is it at ALL possible for you to ever reply with "Sir" in a sincere tone? LOL!!!!

  2. ....that knot of ever present tension I swallow around every damn day...

    I wonder how many people live with this without release? Are they the ones that being around can be unpleasant?

    PS I hope no one notes that you used swallow for wallow.

  3. Erica,

    I am glad you have found a terrific guy to meet your needs.


  4. You are indeed one lucky woman.

    After seeing Bogey's comment I had to go back and find "swallow"; of course that word is perfectly correct. I knew it!


  5. Hi Erica -- This session with Mr.D was so freakin AWESOME :-)I would want to be spanked more too :-)Mr.D is so understanding,I am so happy that he give's you what you want and need.I can't stop laughing when you said FUCK YOU SIR,HAHAHAHAHA LOL.Much Love and hug's from naughty girl Jade

  6. Erica,

    First off, happy early birthday! You defy time... and here I thought alcohol was a preservative!

    Secondly- I loved this post... You captured the melt perfectly. I felt the realness and loved reading about it. Of course, the "Fuck you, Sir!" was classic! One to go down in every bottom's playbook. We'll call it "pulling an Erica" :)


  7. Kelly -- believe it or not, I have! :-)

    OBB -- no, I meant swallow. The knot of tension is in the vicinity of my throat, and I have to swallow around it. :-)

    joey -- as am I!

    Hermione -- thanks! Yes, if I'd meant wallow, I would have had to say "wallow around IN."

    Jade -- a little humor is a good thing, I say. ;-)

    SC -- nahhh, not alcohol. I drink a cocktail of nitrites, nitrates and benzoates every morning instead of coffee. :-D

  8. Man.... you DO know how to "Follow your bliss" don'tcha?


  9. Zelle -- finally learned how, yup. :-)

  10. Dear Erica

    Men are not supposed to cry, it's a rule. Somehow when I read your writing there is this unpleasant moisture in my eyes and on my face. Maybe it is only sympathy pain or pleasant release and exhalation. The reward for doing the wedding thing no doubt.


    somewhat damp

  11. Emanuele -- I think real men DO cry. :-)

  12. Glad to hear that the two of you really managed to meet on Tuesday, Erica! And it seems like you and Mr. D really have a great chemistry. I hope the memories of your session will carry you through the next twelve days. :-)

  13. Kaelah -- already feeling that restlessness again! Am I an addict, or what? :-)

  14. Way to go Mr. D! Isn't relieving that tension just wonderful?

    Oddly enough, the title of this post immediately made me think of orgasm denial. Lol.

  15. Lea -- oh, you know it.

    I just don't get that denial business. Delaying it, maybe, just to heighten the intensity? OK. But flat-out telling someone they can't, for X amount of days/weeks/whatever? NO.