Yes, I know I already blogged today. I had planned to post this particular blog sometime after the weekend, after the Monday play blog. But you know what? I don't feel like waiting. I have an hour to kill before I leave for John's, and I want to put this out there. So here goes.
I spent all of 2010 working on a special, personal project; only a couple of people knew about it. I wrote a book. It is a biography/memoir, both of my experiences as Erica Scott, and of those before I allowed her to emerge.
I've made no secret, over all my years of blogging and writing on forums, that I struggled with a dysfunctional childhood, and with depression and eating disorders that plagued me for over 20 years. Most of you know I was put on medication at age 36, and that's when my life began to change. No, I take that back -- that's when my life began, period. In fact, my book is in two parts: Part 1 is called Existence, and Part 2 is called Living. Erica Scott doesn't even make an appearance until well into the second half.
You all have heard me describe myself as a square peg in a round world. I felt "otherness" very early on, for many reasons. Throw in an undeniable fascination with spanking and no outlet with which to explore it, and you have a whole lot of confusion, fear and self-loathing. But despite all that, I managed to break free and ultimately discover who I am -- and accept myself. To embrace my otherness, and fully rejoice in my kink.
I spent several months rereading 50 written journals, several more kept in Microsoft Word and years of forum posts and old blogs. From those, along with my unusually detailed memory, I compiled the story of Erica.
ANYWAY -- I met my goal of finishing the first draft by the end of 2010. I read through it a couple of times and edited it, and then I shelved it for a while, taking a break from it. Recently, I read it through one more time, did some more tweaking. Now I've decided that's enough of that, and I want to move forward. So.... now what?
I have been doing some research on getting published the old-fashioned way, and it appears to be a full-time job. There are a bazillion publishers and literary agents, and many ways to go. Writing proposals, sending out sample chapters, writing queries to agents... it's daunting. And I'm not kidding myself -- my book is a niche product. It is not going to appeal to the mainstream.
At first, I thought perhaps I should contact writers with traditionally published erotica/fetish books. I started by choosing three of them and emailed each one, asking if they'd be willing to share a bit about their publishing process, how they made it happen. One didn't reply at all; one wrote and said she'd get back to me, then never did. The third one sent me a very nice reply, but she made it clear that if I wanted any substantive guidance, I had to pay $200 an hour, two-hour minimum. So I gave up on that idea.
Just for the hell of it, I sent a proposal and some sample chapters to Virgin Books USA, because Virgin UK published Niki Flynn's memoir, Dances With Werewolves. But I am not expecting anything. Like I said, I know that finding a traditional publisher who'd take my book is like seeking the proverbial needle in a haystack. Another fetish author, Joan Kelly, published The Pleasure is All Mine a few years ago, about her experiences as a pro sub in the scene. I looked up her publisher as well... they're out of business.
So that leads me to self-publishing. You all know I went the self-publishing route with Lulu, back in 2007. But the industry has grown exponentially in the past four years, and now it's quite daunting as well. So many choices out there! When I published What Happens to Naughty Girls? on Lulu, I didn't pay a cent. I carefully formatted my manuscript according to their directions, they converted it to a PDF and then into a book, and that was that. I didn't have an ISBN, and aside from talking about it on my blog, I had no marketing or distribution. To this date, I've sold a whopping 190 copies in four years. I guess that's OK for a little book of fiction, but considering how much more personal this book is, how much more I put into it, I'd like to do a bit better than that.
All these companies (Lulu, Xlibris, Outskirts, iUniverse, AuthorHouse, CreateSpace, etc. etc. etc.) make it sound like they're the best for you, of course. They all have various packages you pay for if you want help with formatting, marketing and promotion, ISBNs and so on. But as I delve into each site individually, I keep seeing different pitfalls. Some won't convert a Word document into a PDF unless you pay for a higher-tier package. Others won't let you create your own cover (which I want to do, since I have a specific image in mind). Some, like Lulu, have separate packages for editing, marketing and distribution, while others lump everything into one. And yes, some of them still have a free self-publishing platform, but you're basically on your own with those. This time, I would like to avail myself of some help with marketing and distribution. But I don't want to pay a fortune for it, either.
Does anyone have any experience with or knowledge of Xlibris? I contacted a few of these companies for their free initial consultation. So far, Xlibris has been the most responsive, and borderline aggressive. They've contacted me by phone and email, and they are pushing their packages now because they have a promotional offer going on. Buy one of their packages and you automatically get upgraded to the next higher tier, but you pay the lower-tier price. The guy I spoke with was touting their Professional tier, where you get quite a lot, sounds like, but it's $1100!! He said I could have it for the Basic tier price, which is $650. I said that was still too high, and he then offered it to me for $520. I said I'd think about it. The offer is good until April 15. I'm a little uneasy about this hard sell, but perhaps they all do that to some degree. However, I don't want to rush into anything.
So, readers, I am opening the floor to you. Authors out there... what do you think? What are your experiences, and what do you feel is the best way to go? What companies have you worked with? Do you think I may have a viable product? Anyone know of publishers to contact who specialize in off-the-vanilla-path genres?
You know, I had a fantasy of getting all this done, keeping it secret until the end, then blogging "Surprise -- guess what? I've published my memoirs." Yeah, it was a nice fantasy, but it's not gonna happen. I need some help; there are just too damn many choices out there and I don't want to screw this up.
By the way... the name of my book is Late Bloomer. Because that's what I am, in every sense of the phrase.
Thank you in advance. :-)
Friday, April 8, 2011
Correspondence Hall of Shame, 4/8
It's Spring, and the idiots as well as the flowers are popping their heads up once again. Enjoy.
Can you like animalsex ???
I dunno, can I? If you're talking about f***ing like bunnies, then yes. If you're talking about actually f***ing the bunnies, then go away.
“Nipple play”...I like a woman who loves’s it, and wants it. Would love to explore your nipples and figure out what makes you go crazy.
Uh... where in any of my spanking ads were you able to infer that I loves's nipple play? I don't; I hates's it.
I will spank you into submissionl. You are hot your Master knows that. I just would like to become worthy of being in your circle. Very respectful single clean shaved 8" available anytime for you.
You want to be worthy? You can start by not announcing the length of your shlong to a perfect stranger.
And here's my favorite, clearly written by a one-handed typist:
I want to take you from behind, that’s my favorite especially I want to dominate you from behind, with my large hands wrap around your throat. The variety of what can be done from behind is so great; it can open up new pleasure centers and different angles of penetration. I like it all, standing up while our hips grind together, fully embraced with my hands cupping your breasts and pinching your nipples. I want to grab your ass checks sticking it straight in the air so I can penetrate you from a steep angle like a jackhammer, flexing my knees and thighs every time I thrust all the way deep into you’re wetness. I than want you just lying down, on your stomach, legs spread wide and continue to enter slowly and deeply from behind then wrap my warm (hot) body around yours, biting and kissing the back of your neck, whispering dirty thoughts into your ear again and again, tightly embracing your arms so our bodies are one, watching your face change between the smile and tensions of ultimate pleasure every time I slide in and out of you.
There were several more paragraphs of this drivel, but I chose to spare you. This gives you the general idea.
A few random thoughts:
1. My ass doesn't have checks. I prefer polka dots.
2. If I wanted to have sex with a jackhammer, I'd buy one at Home Depot.
3. Are you warm, or are you hot? Make up your damn mind.
4. If I'm lying facedown on the bed, how can you watch my face change?
5. You just want our bodies to be one so you can share my brain, as yours (or should I say you'res) is clearly deficient.
Thanks to everyone who participated in my food rant blog. It always tickles me to see the amount of responses I get on those. And finally, thank you to A Voice In The Corner for choosing mine as Blog of the Week. :-)
Have a great weekend, y'all.
Can you like animalsex ???
I dunno, can I? If you're talking about f***ing like bunnies, then yes. If you're talking about actually f***ing the bunnies, then go away.
“Nipple play”...I like a woman who loves’s it, and wants it. Would love to explore your nipples and figure out what makes you go crazy.
Uh... where in any of my spanking ads were you able to infer that I loves's nipple play? I don't; I hates's it.
I will spank you into submissionl. You are hot your Master knows that. I just would like to become worthy of being in your circle. Very respectful single clean shaved 8" available anytime for you.
You want to be worthy? You can start by not announcing the length of your shlong to a perfect stranger.
And here's my favorite, clearly written by a one-handed typist:
I want to take you from behind, that’s my favorite especially I want to dominate you from behind, with my large hands wrap around your throat. The variety of what can be done from behind is so great; it can open up new pleasure centers and different angles of penetration. I like it all, standing up while our hips grind together, fully embraced with my hands cupping your breasts and pinching your nipples. I want to grab your ass checks sticking it straight in the air so I can penetrate you from a steep angle like a jackhammer, flexing my knees and thighs every time I thrust all the way deep into you’re wetness. I than want you just lying down, on your stomach, legs spread wide and continue to enter slowly and deeply from behind then wrap my warm (hot) body around yours, biting and kissing the back of your neck, whispering dirty thoughts into your ear again and again, tightly embracing your arms so our bodies are one, watching your face change between the smile and tensions of ultimate pleasure every time I slide in and out of you.
There were several more paragraphs of this drivel, but I chose to spare you. This gives you the general idea.
A few random thoughts:
1. My ass doesn't have checks. I prefer polka dots.
2. If I wanted to have sex with a jackhammer, I'd buy one at Home Depot.
3. Are you warm, or are you hot? Make up your damn mind.
4. If I'm lying facedown on the bed, how can you watch my face change?
5. You just want our bodies to be one so you can share my brain, as yours (or should I say you'res) is clearly deficient.
Thanks to everyone who participated in my food rant blog. It always tickles me to see the amount of responses I get on those. And finally, thank you to A Voice In The Corner for choosing mine as Blog of the Week. :-)
Have a great weekend, y'all.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
OT: Yet another rant about disgusting food
So, what do I like to bitch about, people? (And don't say everything.) Yes! Gross food! In the past I've ranted about the KFC Double Down sandwich (bacon, cheese and sauce between two fried chicken breasts), IHOP's Pancake Stackers (two pancakes layered with cheesecake filling and topped with fruit and whipped cream), and Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burgermelt (a grilled cheese sandwich, topped with a burger and all the fixings, and then another grilled cheese sandwich on top of that). I've also critiqued marshmallow peeps, and made sure everyone knows that I think cottage cheese is one of the most revolting substances on Earth.
What's on today's Barf-O-Rama menu? Denny's new Maple Bacon Sundae.
Yes, it's exactly what you think it is. Vanilla ice cream, layered with maple syrup and crumbled, cooked bacon. It's one of Denny's limited-time-only (thank God!!) "Baconalia" selections. Other items include Bacon Meatloaf and a BBBLT (a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich with triple bacon).
OK, I hear you out there -- Oh, come on, Erica. You just don't like bacon. That's not it. Granted, it's one of the things I don't eat anymore, but I used to. And I can see the appeal of it with eggs at breakfast, or in a sandwich, or crumbled into salads and baked potatoes. But in dessert????? NO!
What the hell is up with this country's love affair with bacon, anyway? It's turning up everywhere! I have actually heard of chocolate-covered bacon, the thought of which makes me want to hurl. And my beloved Danny has actually ordered a Bacon Martini at a dive bar near Vegas. Today on FetLife, someone posted a link to a Bacon Chocolate-Chip cookie recipe. Stop the madness!!
OK, I get it, people love bacon. But just because a food is good, does that mean it belongs everywhere and combined with everything? I adore chocolate, as many people do. But come on. There are limits. Would you put hot fudge sauce on your prime rib? Sprinkle your mac-'n-cheese casserole with chocolate chips instead of bread crumbs? (OK, maybe some people would, but I'd rather not know them. They're the same people who would hear Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and say it needs more cowbell.)
Apparently, journalist Robin Wheeler agrees with me; see her amusing commentary on the bacon sundae here.
And while I'm in rant mode, what's up with this trendy BS of combining sweet with spicy/savory flavors? I do not want freaking seasalt on my caramel, thank you very much. And I sure as @#$% don't want cayenne pepper in my chocolate bars. Stop with this designer food nonsense. Putting pepper in chocolate is like mating a dog with a cat. Oh, and stop putting flowers in my chocolate too, while you're at it. I like to smell the roses, not ingest them.
OK, I'm getting off-track here. Just say NO to bacon on ice cream, I beg of you. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have a salad.
What's on today's Barf-O-Rama menu? Denny's new Maple Bacon Sundae.
Yes, it's exactly what you think it is. Vanilla ice cream, layered with maple syrup and crumbled, cooked bacon. It's one of Denny's limited-time-only (thank God!!) "Baconalia" selections. Other items include Bacon Meatloaf and a BBBLT (a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich with triple bacon).
OK, I hear you out there -- Oh, come on, Erica. You just don't like bacon. That's not it. Granted, it's one of the things I don't eat anymore, but I used to. And I can see the appeal of it with eggs at breakfast, or in a sandwich, or crumbled into salads and baked potatoes. But in dessert????? NO!
What the hell is up with this country's love affair with bacon, anyway? It's turning up everywhere! I have actually heard of chocolate-covered bacon, the thought of which makes me want to hurl. And my beloved Danny has actually ordered a Bacon Martini at a dive bar near Vegas. Today on FetLife, someone posted a link to a Bacon Chocolate-Chip cookie recipe. Stop the madness!!
OK, I get it, people love bacon. But just because a food is good, does that mean it belongs everywhere and combined with everything? I adore chocolate, as many people do. But come on. There are limits. Would you put hot fudge sauce on your prime rib? Sprinkle your mac-'n-cheese casserole with chocolate chips instead of bread crumbs? (OK, maybe some people would, but I'd rather not know them. They're the same people who would hear Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and say it needs more cowbell.)
Apparently, journalist Robin Wheeler agrees with me; see her amusing commentary on the bacon sundae here.
And while I'm in rant mode, what's up with this trendy BS of combining sweet with spicy/savory flavors? I do not want freaking seasalt on my caramel, thank you very much. And I sure as @#$% don't want cayenne pepper in my chocolate bars. Stop with this designer food nonsense. Putting pepper in chocolate is like mating a dog with a cat. Oh, and stop putting flowers in my chocolate too, while you're at it. I like to smell the roses, not ingest them.
OK, I'm getting off-track here. Just say NO to bacon on ice cream, I beg of you. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have a salad.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Happy me :-)
For some, SSC means Safe, Sane and Consensual. For me, SSC describes my state of being on Monday nights -- Smiling, Squirming and Content. :-)
I was on the phone with John before New Guy came over. He ended our call with, "Tell [new guy] that I said hi, and tell him that I want him to hit you hard and repeatedly." Gee, thanks, honey.
After last week's intensity, tonight called for fun and lightheartedness, and that's exactly what we had. New Guy arrived, greeting me with his usual warm hug and surprising me with a little present, a potted tulip plant. I was in a playful mood and I giggled well into the spanking, which he didn't seem to mind in the least.
Oh, but I'm afraid I have to report some bad news. All those compliments y'all left him in the comments seem to have gone to his head. Yes, I detected a bit of Ego this evening. For example, I forget what I was referring to, but I said at one point, "You're awfully sure of yourself!"
To which he teased, "Of course I am. All great leaders need to be."
Oh brother! :-Þ
Just so we're clear -- playful and lighthearted did NOT mean I got a light spanking. Will you look at all his @#$%ing toys??
Whereas last week had been a straightforward strapping/paddling, this week he switched things up, using a lot of different implements (strap, his belt, quirt, flogger, small wooden paddle), alternating with his hand, and combining sensual strokes with fiercely hard ones. I had no idea what was coming and when, and it put me into subspace fairly quickly. I don't think I uttered a coherent word during the second half of our scene... just sounds. He'd strike with his right hand, and caress or lightly run his nails over my skin with the other hand. It was lovely.
No tears this time, of course. I was too blissed out.
Monday nights go by so quickly. But I know there's always another one in a week.
Lookit my tulips!
Aren't they a yummy spring color? I like how one of them is higher above all the rest. Kinda like New Guy himself. ♥
Hey! I have 99 followers -- who's going to make it an even 100? :-)
I was on the phone with John before New Guy came over. He ended our call with, "Tell [new guy] that I said hi, and tell him that I want him to hit you hard and repeatedly." Gee, thanks, honey.
After last week's intensity, tonight called for fun and lightheartedness, and that's exactly what we had. New Guy arrived, greeting me with his usual warm hug and surprising me with a little present, a potted tulip plant. I was in a playful mood and I giggled well into the spanking, which he didn't seem to mind in the least.
Oh, but I'm afraid I have to report some bad news. All those compliments y'all left him in the comments seem to have gone to his head. Yes, I detected a bit of Ego this evening. For example, I forget what I was referring to, but I said at one point, "You're awfully sure of yourself!"
To which he teased, "Of course I am. All great leaders need to be."
Oh brother! :-Þ
Just so we're clear -- playful and lighthearted did NOT mean I got a light spanking. Will you look at all his @#$%ing toys??
Whereas last week had been a straightforward strapping/paddling, this week he switched things up, using a lot of different implements (strap, his belt, quirt, flogger, small wooden paddle), alternating with his hand, and combining sensual strokes with fiercely hard ones. I had no idea what was coming and when, and it put me into subspace fairly quickly. I don't think I uttered a coherent word during the second half of our scene... just sounds. He'd strike with his right hand, and caress or lightly run his nails over my skin with the other hand. It was lovely.
No tears this time, of course. I was too blissed out.
Monday nights go by so quickly. But I know there's always another one in a week.
Lookit my tulips!
Aren't they a yummy spring color? I like how one of them is higher above all the rest. Kinda like New Guy himself. ♥
Hey! I have 99 followers -- who's going to make it an even 100? :-)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Thank you
Hope everyone had a nice weekend! I wanted to say thanks for all the wonderful comments, on this blog and privately, that I've received since I put up the clips last week. It's been extremely gratifying for both of us to read them.
I'm sure they weren't everyone's cup of tea. There may be people who aren't commenting because they found them too intense or personal. And on the flip side, I'll bet there are some (you know, the ones who really, really like severity) who are thinking, "Jeeezus, what was she bawling about? That was nothing." Ah well... can't please everyone. But I'm happy that so many people appreciated what we did.
New Guy put the video up in its entirety on his FetLife page (it turned out to be 17 minutes total). He got several comments over the weekend, all of them positive except for one. One guy wrote the following:
Well Lady, I feel sorry for you if you can put up with crap like that. He made you cry and that tells me you really did not enjoy that one bit.
Oh, give me a break. Talk about completely missing the point!
I wanted to see who our detractor was, so I checked out his profile. Turns out he's 72 years old, a retired truck driver, and his profile picture is him naked except for a ball cap that looks like the American flag and a multi-colored thong.
Pass me the brain bleach. :-Þ
Part of me found his cluelessness amusing and another part wanted to tear him a new one. I dialed it back, of course, since I do endeavor to be somewhat polite, even when I'm being bitchy. But I couldn't resist replying with this:
Well, Man, I guarantee you have no reason to feel sorry for me. My tears were born of trust, and I was in the best of hands. Now please do us all a favor and go put some clothes on.
Snarky? Yup. Hey, I had a humbling session... I didn't have a personality overhaul. :-D
I showed the video to John yesterday. He was quite impressed -- a couple of times, he murmured, "Damn, he's good!" When NG apologized for the high stroke, John laughed a little and then said, "Wow, what a great top." I thought I'd be kind of uncomfortable watching it with him, but I wasn't. He said more than once that NG should do videos; the professional and paying kind, not just the little ones we do. I wholeheartedly agree, but I respect his reservations in that area. I'm just happy he wants to make them with me. :-)
Anyway... tomorrow is Monday once again. Anyone been following that insipid song "Friday" that went viral on YouTube? If you don't want to bother watching the video (and I don't blame you), it's a 'tween girl named Rebecca Black singing about the joys of Friday and looking forward to the weekend. It's been parodied and ridiculed all over the place.
I feel my own parody coming on... "Monday, Monday, gotta get spanked on Monday..." Or not. I may get punished again if I do it. (snicker)
Stay tuned for tomorrow night's festivities.
I'm sure they weren't everyone's cup of tea. There may be people who aren't commenting because they found them too intense or personal. And on the flip side, I'll bet there are some (you know, the ones who really, really like severity) who are thinking, "Jeeezus, what was she bawling about? That was nothing." Ah well... can't please everyone. But I'm happy that so many people appreciated what we did.
New Guy put the video up in its entirety on his FetLife page (it turned out to be 17 minutes total). He got several comments over the weekend, all of them positive except for one. One guy wrote the following:
Well Lady, I feel sorry for you if you can put up with crap like that. He made you cry and that tells me you really did not enjoy that one bit.
Oh, give me a break. Talk about completely missing the point!
I wanted to see who our detractor was, so I checked out his profile. Turns out he's 72 years old, a retired truck driver, and his profile picture is him naked except for a ball cap that looks like the American flag and a multi-colored thong.
Pass me the brain bleach. :-Þ
Part of me found his cluelessness amusing and another part wanted to tear him a new one. I dialed it back, of course, since I do endeavor to be somewhat polite, even when I'm being bitchy. But I couldn't resist replying with this:
Well, Man, I guarantee you have no reason to feel sorry for me. My tears were born of trust, and I was in the best of hands. Now please do us all a favor and go put some clothes on.
Snarky? Yup. Hey, I had a humbling session... I didn't have a personality overhaul. :-D
I showed the video to John yesterday. He was quite impressed -- a couple of times, he murmured, "Damn, he's good!" When NG apologized for the high stroke, John laughed a little and then said, "Wow, what a great top." I thought I'd be kind of uncomfortable watching it with him, but I wasn't. He said more than once that NG should do videos; the professional and paying kind, not just the little ones we do. I wholeheartedly agree, but I respect his reservations in that area. I'm just happy he wants to make them with me. :-)
Anyway... tomorrow is Monday once again. Anyone been following that insipid song "Friday" that went viral on YouTube? If you don't want to bother watching the video (and I don't blame you), it's a 'tween girl named Rebecca Black singing about the joys of Friday and looking forward to the weekend. It's been parodied and ridiculed all over the place.
I feel my own parody coming on... "Monday, Monday, gotta get spanked on Monday..." Or not. I may get punished again if I do it. (snicker)
Stay tuned for tomorrow night's festivities.
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