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Thursday, January 16, 2014

Sometimes, I question my sanity

Nothing new there. More on that later.

Funny how tops have different approaches to starting a spanking. Danny used to bluster and threaten for a while, and I'd continue to push and provoke until he said, "That's IT!" ST would spring it on me quickly and unceremoniously, and I never knew when it would be. Steve and I talk for a while, like old friends catching up, and then his tone changes. That's when he'll lean over to me and say, "Ready to go over my knee, baby?"

I've resisted a couple of times. One time, I even went across the room and made him come and get me. But most of the time, I simply smile and answer, "Yes." Then I go close the windows, and come to him.

We'd had to postpone our Tuesday to Wednesday, then our Wednesday morning to Wednesday afternoon, because of his work. So we were both antsy and impatient. "I can't wait to feel your bottom in the palm of my hand," he said over the phone. Hot, hot, hot. The waiting can be fun... up to a point. By 2:30 yesterday, I was so over it, and was all about, "Will you just GET here already!"

His warm-up starts with the mildest of slaps, and gradually builds and builds. If he were to begin at the strength and speed at which he ends up, I would be in agony. But my body adjusts and warms to him, craves more, absorbs the flurries. His polo shirt and his face were damp at the end. Sometimes we banter, sometimes we don't. Yesterday, I educated him on the difference between "farther" and "further." He thought they were interchangeable. Tsk.

He's been in quite the benevolent mood lately; once again, he told me I could choose the implements. Last week, I recall I chose one nasty one (the lexan paddle), just because I know I need the challenge. Yesterday was the same. This is where the sanity part comes in (or lack thereof). I retrieved the short OTK leather strap, my favorite. And then, before I could talk myself out of it, I also got the Delrin cane.

!!!!! (Are you crazy, Erica?) Like I said, there's a part of me that relishes that challenge, that push. Not too much, just enough. A very fine line.

Bring it, honey.

Haven't been caned for a while. And I was shocked at first; I'd forgotten just how much it hurts, that unique biting hurt. My mind wouldn't calm down and absorb; my body fought. I struggled and squirmed, pleaded, moaned. I wanted him to stop. I didn't want him to stop. 

He talked to me, reminded me how much I needed this. Told me to breathe. Firmly but kindly told me to keep still. Ican'tIcan'tIcan't. After two particularly hard strokes, I felt a sort of despair, and blurted, "What's happening to me? I'm being such a wimp!"

Ugh. According to whom? Harder players? The benchmark for cast-iron ass? The Spanko Judges? Like it's a freaking contest? Stupid.

"You are not a wimp," he said, kneading the soreness. "Those were hard. You are taking this very well. You're amazing."

And then, I felt my mind switch over, and my body shift into a calmer state. I took in a deep breath, and I lay still. No more kicking, no more writhing. From that point on, I was able to absorb. I flowed with the strokes and the pain instead of struggling against them.

Mind over matter.

Yipes! Stripes! (Yes, I know I'm dating myself with that reference.)

He wasn't able to linger much afterward, but it was OK. I was spent, particularly after the thundering orgasm I'd given myself while he watched. "Go," I smiled. "Go be a dad." It was time to return to real life. In my post-spanking blissful stupor, I leaned into my doorway and said goodbye.

If that isn't "spank face," I don't know what is. :-D

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to corral my mushy and scattered brain, and do some work. 

Thank you. ♥


  1. That parting look at the door is the dream of every Top IMHO.

  2. Amazing parting look, wow, so satisfied and nice panty....

  3. This Einstein quote is well known, but nevertheless so appropriate here:
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

  4. Yes, Erica, one can question your sanity, for loving the pain of a cane. I know I love it, when I give a woman 'six of the best', as my nom de plume suggests, to her naked rear end. May each of us enjoy those 'highs', in life.

  5. I'm glad you got what you needed, BRAT! :)

  6. Bob -- nice to know! :-)

    Ron -- thank you. :-)

    MrJ -- I like the quote, but am not sure how it pertains?

    Six -- well, I got a lot more than six!

    Kelly -- humph. :-)

    1. I was referring to the insight, relevant for all deviants;-), that the sane - insane issue is al too often aproached from a notion of 'common sense'

  7. That is a beautiful parting look. Thanks for sharing.
    Since you brought up the grammar lesson, perhaps you can correct me if I'm wrong. As I understand it "farther" means to go a longer distance, as in "I went farther than you." While "further" means to move forward or to keep going, as in "I want to further my education." Is that right?

  8. Hi Erica -- I agree that your face is definitely a spank face :-) I Love it LOL. Glad that Steve gave you what you needed :-) I never got spanked with a lexan paddle. I haven't had the cane yet either,but I would like to try them both,even though I heard they can be VERY nasty :-) I am a sucker for punishment LMAO. Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade

  9. Anonymous -- you're right; "farther" refers to distance. "Further" can mean to advance, as in your example, but it can also mean "more." As in a popular argument phrase: "I refuse to discuss this any further."

    Jade -- I don't know if you'd like either one, but who knows! :-)

  10. Erica,
    Closing pic at the door is lovely. It really is ok to feel joy after a spanking and you look lovely and feminine.


  11. We have that OTK strap, and it's one of my favourites too.

    Yipes! Stripes! was Fruitstripe gum, right? Tigers sang that song, as I recall. Wow, that takes me back. The gum wasn't available in Canada, and I'd seen the ad so many times I was desperate to try it. Finally, on a shopping trip across the border, I found it in J.J. Newberry's. It was delicious!


  12. Hermione -- Yes!! Brightly striped fruit-flavored gum. Finally, someone who remembers it. :-D

  13. I always say that I'm a wuss and most tops who spank me disagree. I don't know who I'm comparing myself to anyway. Delrin cane? You have gone mad! ;-)

  14. Lea -- Gone? I'm afraid that ship sailed long ago. :-D