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Monday, May 21, 2012

Next time, look under the bed, dumbass

Last time ST was here, we played in the bedroom and he had me get the Cane-iac Spanking Buddy out of my vanity drawer. Even though I had given it to him as a gift, he likes me to keep it here. So after he left, I looked on the bed and on the floor, but couldn't find it. I figured he'd accidentally picked it up with all his other toys and put it in his bag.

Tonight when we were ready to play, I mentioned that he might have the SB in his bag, because I thought he took it by accident. He rummaged through everything -- "Nope, I don't have it." Hmmmm... Oh, wait! Maybe it had traveled under the bed somehow (no, I didn't put it there).

Off I went to the bedroom to look, and sure enough, it was way under the bed. You wouldn't believe the noise I got from ST when I came back.

"Aha! You had it all along, and you accused me of stealing it!"

"I did not!" I protested. "I said you might have taken it by accident!"

"You were still blaming me, and all the while it was just your lousy housekeeping!"

I beg your pardon??

"You really shouldn't accuse me of stealing," he scolded, pulling me OTK.

"Dammit! There was nothing accusatory about what I said!" I hollered.

"Yeah, well, I'm about to get abuse-atory on your bottom." (groan) Oh, clever man.

We were both chatty at first, him blathering some nonsense about "poor Erica" and how I get blamed for doing things I didn't do, because I'm a perfect angel all the time. (Well, at least he's finally seeing that.) He said we should shoot a series caled "Poor Erica," and with each installment, I'd get some sort of unfair punishment. Sounds like Monday nights to me! (snort)

"So what scenarios should we use?" he asked.

"I dunno," I muttered. "Some of your lame-ass flimsy reasons, I guess."


"You're really not in a position to be making comments like that, are you?" (Well, no. But when has that ever stopped me?) I insisted that it was true, that he came up with the damndest reasons.

"That's just superior top logic in operation," he claimed. I said that was an oxymoron. He didn't like that either.

"NO, I'm not calling you a moron!" I screeched. "Don't you know what an oxymoron is??"

"Yes, I know what it is," he said. "But it still sounds like it should be the name of an infomercial or something. Doing Laundry with OxyClean for Dummies."

Jesus. Who put a quarter in him tonight?

By the way, here I am, playing the cheerful hostess and offering up the Spanking Buddy.

He liked how my panties tangled up on my feet and legs when I kicked. Said it was a good leg toner, using my panties like an exercise band. He should start his own gym and teach his own exercises.

Yeah, right.

All this jocularity was very well and good, but when he moved me to the ottoman, things began to transition. We got quieter and more focused, and he ramped things up.

No tears tonight. I wasn't feeling the need for emotional release. But I went so deeply into subspace, I couldn't speak any more. I heard incoherent noises... moans, groans, sighs, whimpers. Dreamily, I wondered where they came from, and realized they were my own.

It was an all-leather night, except for the final 10, much later, with the wooden paddle. He didn't ask me to count them, as he usually does. He knew I wouldn't be able to. I could barely take them, they hurt so much, and I shrieked into my pillow. And when they were over, I melted bonelessly into the cushions.

I didn't say anything for a long time. I didn't think about anything, either. My head felt refreshingly clean and clear, the usual nattering at bay. I could have shut my eyes and drifted to sleep, as he curled up next to me and stroked my back, my hair. When I finally spoke, my first slurred words were, "Can I slip into something more a coma?"

Ever want to freeze a moment in time? A moment when you feel so utterly right, so blissful and and at peace, you want to capture it and lose yourself in it?

Eventually, I know I have to raise my head, open my eyes, push my hair out of my face. But I put it off as long as possible. Fortunately, ST is patient. He waits. He soothes, and he waits.

We ended the evening by watching some SNL skits on Hulu. He'd never seen their parodies of the Lawrence Welk show, which are hysterical. You can't fully appreciate them unless you grew up with that stupid show, which we both did.

I am particularly sore tonight, squirming in my computer chair. Not complaining, however. It's the good pain. :-) I'm in my happy place.


  1. Hi Erica
    I have to say I just love the way you put your spankings across, you convey them so real and vivid. ST sounds exactly like me; I like to twist conversations in my favour especially if there is a nice fresh backside to work my magic on. The person across my knee might not quite see it that way though.
    Thanks very much for sharing
    Take Care
    BOB B

  2. Great that you wound up in your happy place after getting good pain.


  3. Thanks for sharing Erica. I am glad that you are in your happy place.

  4. I am so glad you had such an awesome night. It was fun and you went into deep subspace into lala land and that blissful place of peace. So wonderful.

    Thank you for sharing this as it is truly special.

  5. Hi Erica -- I couldn't stop laughing about you two blaming each other over the spanking buddy and oxymoron,hehehe LOL :-)I alway's want to freeze certain moment's in time,they feel so good and so right :-)I think it would be COOL if you did a serie's called Poor Erica,that would be fun to read as well :-)I am glad you went to your happy place,I wish i could.Much Love and hug's from your naughty girl Jade

  6. Bob -- I endeavor to make people feel like they're there in the room watching. Glad to hear that I succeed! Thanks. :-)

    FD -- the pain/pleasure phenomenon strikes again. :-)

    Joey -- me too!

    Bobbie Jo -- it really is amazing. I felt like I was drugged.

  7. Jade -- maybe we will do that series, who knows. Could be fun. :-)

  8. You people took your funny pills for sure last night!

    Oh the love of sitting on a sore bum. :)

    And I remember as a young kid being forced to watch that suck ass Lawrence Welk show at my grandparents' house. That crap airs as a rerun on PBS.

    1. Kelly -- the show was on every week in my house when I was growing up. I am embarrassed to admit this, bu!t I can recall every note of the theme music, and the names of many of the performers. If you haven't already, Google SNL + "Lawrence Welk" and several of the parodies will come up. Kristen Wiig's demented version of a Lennon sister is hilarious!

  9. omg!!!That skit was outstanding. When she said she went to the bathroom in the boat I almost feel off my chair, howling w laughter. I can't imaging the self discipline it takes for them to not die laughing at themselves during the skits.

    1. The Mother's Day one with Betty White is really funny too. They all are.

  10. Well, I guess I am the odd ball out here. We watched Lawrence Welk, too, and I happened to like it. Yeah, I'm weird, I guess. But, then, I lived a sheltered life. Oh, a must on Saturday night was Gunsmoke, too.

  11. Bobbie Jo -- it's OK. A lot of people must've loved it, or it wouldn't have been on the air for a million years! :-)

  12. I've recently seen the SNL Lawrence Welk parodies you're talking about. I thought they were very funny indeed!! And I have older parents so we used to watch Lawrence Welk reruns every Sunday night. So I understand :).

  13. Bonnie-jo -- Fred Armisen's take on Lawrence Welk makes me laugh like hell! He doesn't look like Welk, but he sounds like him.

  14. "Abuse-atory" *face palm* Lol. Where do tops come up with these lines? We all know they are never going to be as funny as we are. ;-)Glad you found your happy place.

  15. Lea -- same place they find all the other bul--er, nonsense they spew. ;-)