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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

OT Rant: The latest and greatest in disgusting food

Been a while since I did one of these. Last April, to be exact, when I ranted about Denny's bacon sundae. Well, they're at it again.

Having come to the end of their "Baconalia" cholesterol fest, they decided to move on to "Let's Get Cheesy." Imagine the possibilities. Now take those possibilities, stuff them with cheese, dump cheese on them, and then cover them with cheese sauce. There's so damn much cheese, you don't know whether to eat it or take a bath in it.

All the items on this featured menu are disgustingly decadent, but I'm focusing on the most outrageous: The Mac 'n Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt. (OK, I don't know about you, but I'd feel like a horse's ass just ordering it. What a stupid name.)

Here it is, in all its gluttonous glory. Buttered and grilled potato bread (God forbid it should be wheat bread). A burger patty, melted cheese, and Frisco sauce (whatever the @#$% that is; probably mayonnaise-based). And then? Yup. A layer of macaroni and cheese.

This sandwich has 1690 calories (I don't eat that many calories in a whole day!!) and 99 grams of fat. If you were to eat a stick of butter, that would be a healthier choice.

But wait, there's more! It comes with a side of French fries, accompanied by dipping sauce. Ketchup? Nah. Cheese sauce. In case you're still cheese deficient.

When does this stop, people? According to the latest statistics, 33.8% of adults in America are obese. No, not overweight, obese. As in morbid. Obesity-related diseases and conditions are on the rise. Children and adolescents are getting fatter. Food portions are getting bigger, fattier, cheesier, breadier, sweeter. The media tell us to diet. The restaurants and food ads gleefully encourage massive gorging.

Let's just make it simple, shall we? Take a wheel of cheese, batter it and deep-fry it, smother it in chocolate sauce and whipped cream, and eat that six times a day. At least that will cure one of the world's problems: overpopulation.

Granted, I don't like bacon and I'm not all that crazy about cheese either. But even if I did like these food items, I'd eat them in moderation. A slice or two of pizza with a normal amount of cheese is fine. Do you really need triple-thick-crust pizza with five kinds of cheese piled on it, with more cheese baked into the crust???

Oh, and if you're hankering for some dessert after that macaroni mashup, another "Let's Get Cheesy" item is a Strawberry Cheesecake Milkshake. Ice cream blended with cream cheese and cheesecake chunks.

Could be worse, I guess. They could have crafted a Hot Cheese Sundae.

OK, I just made myself sick with that one. Later, y'all.


  1. omg.... TOO MUCH! Perhaps this is how nature culls the less... (ahem) .. intelligent of the species from the planet???

    okay... back to my horse farm on the Chesapeake Bay with.. no internet.. and no cell service until tomorrow.. same bat time.. same bat channel... LOL

  2. Zelle -- I miss you and all your mischief!

  3. ~~THANKS~~ Don't know why I didn't think of it before now. I wonder which type of cheese would work the best. Whow - the possibilities are endless. Hot Cheese Sundae - I'll have one tonight - Every now and then you come up with some really good ideas!


  4. Erica,

    That's frightening. I knew there was a reason we don't visit those restaurants. Yuck!

    L'Shanah Tovah!


  5. Hal -- you do that. And kiss your arteries goodbye while you're at it. :-)

    Bonnie -- thanks! And I'll pass on the latkes and sour cream, for obvious reasons. :-D

  6. Must alert Morbidly Obese Nazi Nerd group on Fetlife!


  7. omg! i thought they had gone the way of the gross with that bacon sundae! i suppose there was cheese sauce instead of chocolate sauce on it....

  8. Kat -- ah, yes! I expect to see all of you at Denny's this weekend. :-D

    Crowe -- LOL... actually, it was neither cheese nor chocolate on the bacon and ice cream; it was maple syrup. Gaaaah.

  9. Yea, but if you order it with a Diet Coke it all evens out... ;)


  10. Hi Erica, That sandwich look's VERY GROSS AND DISGUSTING UGH :-(Just looking at it make's me want to vomit, I never heard of putting mac and cheese on a burger before YUCK, Why do they have to keep mixing thing's up.Whoever eats this garbage don't care about their health and they must have a stomach like a Goat hehehe LOL. Love and Hug's from your naughty girl Jade XOXO

  11. Todd -- oh well then, there ya go! LOL

    Jade -- you may be right; from what I've heard, goats can digest just about anything. :-)

  12. This may be part of their Value meal pricings.

    The $2, $4, $6 specials where they provide a Two for One combo meal...Your choice of a cheap meal/heart attack or a cheap meal/clogged arteries!

    Thanks, Denny's. I'll skip the enticing offer.

  13. It doesn't even look like good macaroni and cheese.It's just horrible.I love cheese but this makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

    When I was a kid,I was the boy who made the weird sandwiches to scare the girls...ketchup and peanut butter...with a few potato chips thrown inside for good measure.I could never have come up with the stuff they're concocting these days.I'd rather just have a BLT and some fries.

  14. Don't deny it Erica. You KNOW I made your day!!!

    United in Chocolate,

    Fatty Katty

  15. That sounds vile, and I'm a person who actually likes cheese. I still wouldn't eat that. Also, I'll bet it's made with "cheese food product" anyway. I only like good cheese.

    I also went back to the bacon post. Ew. Just....ew. I hate bacon. It reminds me of a hicktown in Maryland that I have the misfortune to claim as my birthplace. It always smells like bacon or country ham there. I kid you not.

  16. When I was in Monterey recently, I stayed at a motel that had Denny's right there. I had breakfast there and I saw the ad for this gross sandwich, among other things. GAG!

    I had a rather simple breakfast: chicken sausage patty, hash browns, two scrambled eggs and two pieces of wheat toast. The portions were not that big, either. I can tell you I wasn't stuffed after that. It may have been more calaries than I should have had, but it fit the bill. It was ok. The coffee? Eh, not so much.

    On food, I had a great dinner and lunch at a different place that had very good food. It was a bit expensive, but so what when the food is good? Once in a while, though.

  17. Kelly -- I wouldn't care how cheap it is. I wouldn't eat it for free!

    BG -- I'll take turkey on whole wheat with lettuce, tomato and mustard, please. Hold the fries.

    Kat -- you know I will NEVER call you that name!! lol

    Adriane -- I used to like bacon, but lost my taste for it. I don't object to it on a breakfast plate or on a sandwich if that's what people like. But on ice cream, or covered with chocolate? FAIL!

    Bobbie Jo -- I think I've mentioned this before, but John and I eat brunch at Denny's every Sunday. But we may be the only ones in the place who are eating meals that won't induce a heart attack. I do love their pancakes, but I pass on the butter -- love their strawberry topping!

    The coffee varies.

  18. Ok, at first a super cheesy sandwich sounded good, but upon looking closer that does look kind of gross. It doesn't look like real cheese and if there's a mayo sauce on it, well yuck. I really don't like Denny's, the last couple times we went there the service was horrible and my food was swimming in grease.

  19. Lily -- LOL! John and I have it down. We have a favorite server, she has our (healthy) order committed to memory and puts it in as soon as we're seated, and it's cheap. And when she's on vacation, we have a second favorite backup server.

    They do breakfast well. Rest of their meals? Forget it.

  20. I don't think I've ever eaten real food at Denny's, outside of breakfast food. I wonder how many of these they've actually had ordered. Bleh.

  21. Lea -- you know, they actually used to have a "fit fare" menu with healthy choices. They discontinued it, because no one ordered the items! (well, except John and me)

  22. Yeah, we were going for breakfast, I liked the concept of their skillet scramble with tomatoes and spinach and potatoes etc. But seriously the stuff was sitting on a pool of grease. I like having sausage in it for flavor, but you're supposed to drain it, ugh! I prefer local places that use fresh ingredients and really care about what they're serving. Denny's does have some cheap stuff though, I'll give them that.

  23. At least the breakfast I had was not swimming in grease. If anything, the chicken sausage patty was dry. There wasn't much butter on the toast, either, and it seemed to be real whole wheat rather that the bread they just add a bit of flour to it and call it whole wheat.

    Anyway the portions were not very big and that was a plus.

  24. Lily -- I don't think they are familiar with the concept of draining fat, no. :-D

    Bobbie Jo -- John gets a veggie omelet made with egg whites. Even they can't screw that up.

  25. Hmm, so what do you usually order? In case I find myself dragged there again. :-P

  26. (laughing) You guys are going to laugh, I'm sure.

    I get a build-your-own Grand Slam. Scrambled egg whites, a slice of grilled honey ham, two pancakes (no butter, sugar-free syrup and strawberry topping on the side). They have a choice of regular or whole-wheat pancakes; I like both.

  27. Scrambled egg whites?! Uck! I will get the whole egg. Pancakes are good. I like pancakes and waffles. If I had a topping, it would be blueberries. I like the chicken sausage.

    BUT, I won't be eating there unless I absolutely have to and only breakfast. Retrack that. The breakfast I had was ok.

    Ever hear of homocistine(sp?)?

  28. I actually don't mind the grand slam, same with the ham but whole scrambled eggs. Pancakes tend to make me feel sick, but sugar free syrup would help, I didn't know they offered that choice. Thanks for the info. :-)

  29. Grr, I put my name but it posted as anonymous. This is Lily.

  30. Denny's for me is post-"last call" food when nothing else is really open.

    I love burgers, mac 'n cheese, and just cheese in general (I own books on cheese), but that sandwich just looks disgusting.

    The thing that gets me is that Denny's wouldn't make it if people wouldn't buy it... so... people must actually order that slop.

  31. Kelly -- I used to like it. Now, it reminds me of Crisco -- pure fat. Mustard is my spread of choice these days.

    Beth -- sadly, they do. I just don't get it. If you like macaroni and cheese, great! Eat it! But put it in a sandwich?? Gaaa!

  32. Sometimes I wonder if they (both parties) are trying to carry on or compete with "Fear Factor."

  33. Everything you hate seems to make me hungry.

  34. One of the few times we ate at Denny's, we passed two obese people eating a Grand Slam each. It looked like enough food for four.

    Recently there was a lot of excitement up here about a new burger to be featured at a large fall exhibition - a burger with cheese and all the fixings, but instead of a bun, it was topped and bottomed with two Krispy Kreme donuts. Yuck! And don't forget deep-fried butter.


  35. On a happier note.....all major fast food chains are losing their target customers in the so important age group of 18 to 25 year what's their brilliant solution?......alcohol!!....kid you not!......several chains are very seriously pursuing this! word..:Alcobesity!...and that's seriously one of the foulest sandwiches ever created by men....btw...who are these anonymous sickos that sit around and design this!!!

  36. otk9 -- guess there's more for you, then! :-)

    Hermione -- a burger on doughnuts??? Oh gawd, there goes MY lunch.

    Leffers -- I did hear about a restaurant (was it Denny's?) putting alcohol in a toddler's sippy cup. Accidentally, of course. Start 'em young, right??

  37. Ack! Okay, okay. Uncle! I'm not defending this one! (It's got no bacon in it! ;-) )

  38. Craig -- finally pushed you over the edge, huh? ;-)