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Friday, September 30, 2011

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 9/30

First CHoS of Fall 2011. Way overdue, huh? Besides, I've been feeling especially snarkastic the past couple of days (my new favorite word).

I wanna spank you. Then fuck you. Eat your pussy.

I don't know where you're from, but we do not eat our pets in this country.

I have been a Master/Daddy for 25 years. The perfect little girl never questions her Master/Daddy, and thinks of his needs above her own.

Damn shame I'm not perfect, huh? This little girl's need, at the moment, is for you to take your ginormous Domass ego and... well, you figure it out, Papi.

Would love to spank you and then mount you with my large hard rich guy looking for some kinky fun

I saw your picture, Richie Rich. You're lying about the sexy part, so you're probably lying about the large cock too.

And here's my favorite:

Im pretty new to this site & came across ur photo. Im a tattoo artist fro. San diego. Im very much into the tits & bottoms of a lady. Being a tattoo artist i do enjoy inflicking some pain into my sex, spanking, tit squeezing, anal sex on a women & some biting. I do like to take control when were having sex.. BUT I ALSO LIKE BEING BIT & SCRATCHED HARD ENOUGH TO DRAW BLOOD...

Tattoo artist, huh? Since you enjoy inflicking [sic] pain and you like a bit of pain yourself, here's a tat suggestion. Tattoo "I'm with" on one testicle, and "Stupid" on the other. And on your cock? That's right, "Stupid." That is, assuming it's big enough to accommodate six letters.

This isn't really a CHoS entry, but I'm including it 'cause I feel like it. Earlier this week on FetLife, in the group "Spank You Very Much," someone posed the question, "Is it true that the more firm one's ass is, the more a spanking hurts?" (rolling eyes) Kind of a dumbass question, way too simplistic, but that's not my point.

Part of one man's reply read as follows: "I've encountered some ladies with well padded bottoms who could barely handle a hand spanking and some with bony bottoms which outlast most hands and some implements (Erica Scott – aka the 'bionic bottom' – comes to mind)."

OK, I appreciate the shout-out, truly. But... bony?? Really? That's the best modifier he could have chosen? Part of me laughed, but another part was rather ticked off.

News flash, Skippy. First, thin women don't like the word "bony" any more than women with a few extra pounds like the "f" word. Not at all flattering. And second, I am not bony. What I have back there is muscle tone. Which will feel like bone to your poor little soft hand, but it's quite a different substance.

And finally, I'm throwing in another one of those baffling keyword search phrases:

flexible legs behind head feet

Join me, kids... WTF?

Tomorrow, I go back to Spanking Court. I haven't been there since July, so I am really looking forward to it. Not just because of the shoot itself, but I can't wait to see them all again! :-)  Should be great fun; I'm doing two scenes, and as we left off on a cliffhanger (me causing the Court Disciplinarian to blow his cork and do something really inappropriate), we'll take up with my hauling him into Court with me and having it out in front of the Judge.

I'm sure all will be resolved nicely -- the Judge will dismiss the Disciplinarian's sorry ass, after he is commanded to sincerely apologize to me for his gross mistreatment. Right? Right?

:-) Have a great weekend, y'all.


  1. Hahaha! Enjoyed these.

    SC? The judge siding with you? Uh, I have a feeling that is not exactly in the cards. You can hope, thoug. I think you will have a very nice, warm (hot?), red bottom to be sitting on when you see John. ;-)

    Just have a great time regardless.

  2. Bobbie Jo -- well, a girl can dream, right? :-) But yes, I am going to have a spectacular time.

  3. OMG Erica,You are so freakin funny hehehe LMAO,Thank's for making me laugh i really needed it :-)I can't wait to read about your scene's and shoot's with Spanking Court they are alway's fun to read.Wouldn't that be funny and COOL if the judge spanked you too? hehehe LOL :-)Have a GREAT time at Spanking Court,Wishing you and John a WONDERFUL weekend :-)Love and Hug's to you from your naughty girl Jade XOXO

  4. Jade -- Well, that would be a first! The Judge has never done the spanking in SC before. But you never know! :-D

  5. These posts always make me laugh out loud. I particularly enjoyed Kat's reply as well. :)

    It's amazing how... not with it... men can be.

  6. Kat -- that did sound like an order, didn't it? I'm somewhat flexible, but not to that degree.

    Sarah -- LOL!! You are NOT that desperate!

    Beth -- always happy to bring on some laughs. We need 'em, yes?

  7. Richie needs to find another chickie to stick his dickie, huh?

    Lotsa luck bending the court to your way of thinking.

  8. ekho -- welcome! OK, I need brain bleach for the "eating Grandma" imagery. LOL

    Kelly -- well, you know. It's good to have goals in life. :-)

  9. I'm shooting at Spanking Court tomorrow, too! I'm very excited about it.

    The idea of calling your butt "boney" is so wrong. Bones? Really? There are other possible substances for butt than fat and bone :P

  10. Alex -- Oh my god! Will I get to meet you? I hope so!! I'll be arriving at 2:00.

  11. I'm in the morning, but might still be able to meet up. I will message you on fetlife about it :)

  12. I always love your CHoS posts. Some gals get all the good mail. The best I get is offers for enlargement of an organ I don't even possess.


  13. *Sarah -- LOL!! You are NOT that desperate!*

    Actually, you are correct. Hubby is pretty generous on obliging that whenever I want it! >:)

    But, it's a nice offer. At least it's not "...after I beat you, I will then allow you the pleasure of milking me dry with your mouth. And then I will beat you again."

    Yes. I really got that in a message once.


  14. These might be the best (worst) ever! They are craptastic!

  15. Hermione -- oh, I get those too, believe me!

    sarah -- ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

    Pink -- aren't they though!

  16. "Inflicking some pain," I get the feeling that already is a fetish on FetLife, and with that spelling, too. Lol.

  17. LOL!! This was great medicine for a gloomy, rainy Sunday morning in South Africa. My apologies for the long absence.



  18. Lea -- you're probably right!

    Raven -- good to see you again. :-)