Correspondence Hall of Shame, 8/27

Here are a few goodies for your reading pleasure. I won't have a CHoS next Friday, because at this time next week we'll be on our way to Vegas. (butterflies starting to feel like elephants...)

OK, before anyone gets on my case for being mean, I am aware that the first offering is from someone whose first language is not English and he no doubt used some online translator that screws everything up. That's not why I'm including him. He clearly did NOT read a word of my profile, knows nothing of me and this is some stock thing he sends out to any woman whose picture he likes.

i am aroused and very intrested about you ,i prefer the arousing Body and expression and high love ,all day long..i prefer the world of common excitement and love nearly off limits,that thrills and causes high level life enjoyment to both of us ......i would like to see your soul as well ,would like to present you a total change and nymphomanicial lust ,and to open Pandorras box.. i would like to open and get opened a new deep world of real fun,i am an athletic and healthy ,well hung alpha dom ,educated music engineer and architect, and of high experience and unique antique and modern lust-techniques and specials, but i also like to give you sensual well smelling massage with a delicious massage bar or oil ,while lust torturing,about hours,have ultimative and high drive and looking for the special high drived girl to dive with her into the world of arousing darkness and nymphomanicial lust, causing a fleed of orgasm and drive your pulse to the maximum , ...also intrested in longterm and quality life with you in my large house... ,i am real and expect the same and can show you my all possibilities

Oh, my head. Where do I begin? Nymphomanicial? Fleed??? Oooh... long-term and quality life of lust torturing and diving into arousing darkness and ultimative thrills. Am I now supposed to abandon my own life and book the next flight to Germany?

I know I've asked this many times before, but it bears repeating: Does any woman ever actually reply to this sort of drivel?

Hello ... I am just your friendly neighboorhood pervert .... who loves spanking female asses ...B) and fucking them ... LOL

Note his spelling of neighborhood. There is truth in typos.

baby I would take you over my knee and spank your bare ass naughty girl. I would also suck your toes and lick your pussy all night omg your so sexy.

Keep that mouth and tongue the hell away from me; I can't even begin to imagine where they've been. And again with the pussy thing. I told you, leave my cat alone. She doesn't like you.

Shadow Lane next weekend! My shoot with Northern Spankings is set for 1:00 Saturday afternoon and my interview with Richard Windsor will most likely be on Friday evening (live webcam, too!) But first things first -- J's and my 14th anniversary is this coming Monday, so we're going to celebrate this weekend. I know he has some sort of plan for me, but I have no idea what it is. So I'm going to pack my little weekend bag and go along for the ride. Who knows, maybe I'll get a well smelling massage. :-)

Have a great weekend, y'all.