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Friday, August 27, 2010

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 8/27

Here are a few goodies for your reading pleasure. I won't have a CHoS next Friday, because at this time next week we'll be on our way to Vegas. (butterflies starting to feel like elephants...)

OK, before anyone gets on my case for being mean, I am aware that the first offering is from someone whose first language is not English and he no doubt used some online translator that screws everything up. That's not why I'm including him. He clearly did NOT read a word of my profile, knows nothing of me and this is some stock thing he sends out to any woman whose picture he likes.

i am aroused and very intrested about you ,i prefer the arousing Body and expression and high love ,all day long..i prefer the world of common excitement and love nearly off limits,that thrills and causes high level life enjoyment to both of us ......i would like to see your soul as well ,would like to present you a total change and nymphomanicial lust ,and to open Pandorras box.. i would like to open and get opened a new deep world of real fun,i am an athletic and healthy ,well hung alpha dom ,educated music engineer and architect, and of high experience and unique antique and modern lust-techniques and specials, but i also like to give you sensual well smelling massage with a delicious massage bar or oil ,while lust torturing,about hours,have ultimative and high drive and looking for the special high drived girl to dive with her into the world of arousing darkness and nymphomanicial lust, causing a fleed of orgasm and drive your pulse to the maximum , ...also intrested in longterm and quality life with you in my large house... ,i am real and expect the same and can show you my all possibilities

Oh, my head. Where do I begin? Nymphomanicial? Fleed??? Oooh... long-term and quality life of lust torturing and diving into arousing darkness and ultimative thrills. Am I now supposed to abandon my own life and book the next flight to Germany?

I know I've asked this many times before, but it bears repeating: Does any woman ever actually reply to this sort of drivel?

Hello ... I am just your friendly neighboorhood pervert .... who loves spanking female asses ...B) and fucking them ... LOL

Note his spelling of neighborhood. There is truth in typos.

baby I would take you over my knee and spank your bare ass naughty girl. I would also suck your toes and lick your pussy all night omg your so sexy.

Keep that mouth and tongue the hell away from me; I can't even begin to imagine where they've been. And again with the pussy thing. I told you, leave my cat alone. She doesn't like you.

Shadow Lane next weekend! My shoot with Northern Spankings is set for 1:00 Saturday afternoon and my interview with Richard Windsor will most likely be on Friday evening (live webcam, too!) But first things first -- J's and my 14th anniversary is this coming Monday, so we're going to celebrate this weekend. I know he has some sort of plan for me, but I have no idea what it is. So I'm going to pack my little weekend bag and go along for the ride. Who knows, maybe I'll get a well smelling massage. :-)

Have a great weekend, y'all.


  1. Hello my Erica hehehe that cat pic is so funny i am going to make my cat do that hehehe,i am looking forward to seeing your video with Richard Windsor and i am so happy that your shooting with Northern Spanking again sounds like one awesome time for you.i am wishing you and J a wonderful and magical anniversary,Love you and big hugs from your naughty girl Jade XOXO :-)

  2. ERICA SCOTT!! You are such a naughty girl for teaching the cat to do that "lol" . I am Appalled !!

    Get the lexan and get over J's Knee , You have a very hard spanking comming ! " Grins"

    Ummmmmm I wanna watch !

    " trys to act nonchalant "

  3. First off, congratulations to you and J, dinner, candles, massages and spankings in the works I hope.

    Second, more congrats for your upcoming video. Does the plot happen to include you heaving a massage bar at some fool who won't leave your pussy alone? lol!

    No doubt about it, you are a magnet for the "Land of the Lost" correspondents.

  4. Jade -- thank you, dear. Yes, some awesome times are ahead and I am greatly looking forward to them.

    Alan -- nope, no lexan allowed. And as exhibitionistic as I am, no one watches what goes on between J and me. :-D

    Kelly -- thanks! This won't sound very romantic, but it's been in the 100s here, and my A/C is the pits. J's, on the other hand, is powerful. I am so looking forward to being at his house, I don't care if he presents me with a freshly picked dandelion weed for our anniversary. LOL As for the video plot, I will reveal that sometime next week. :-)

  5. Congratulations on another anniversary! I do wonder what J has in store for you....
    This was such a hot week, we actually turned on our A/C for the first time this summer. And then, whoosh! Shock--this morning I was freezing and had to turn on the defroster on my car. Go figure. And some people claim there is no such thing as global climate change!

    Have a wonderful, romantic weekend. :-)

  6. Erica,

    Well, I dunno, that first one did say something about a big house... and he's real. Maybe the house is real too.

    You do have some interesting fan mail. I just get the member-enlarger ones.

    Have fun at SL!


  7. Dana -- after this week, I cannot imagine ever being cold again.

    Hermione -- some people have a Spam folder. I need an Idiot folder.

  8. Happy anniversary. Celebrate and enjoy what is important.

  9. Sounds like a great weekend followed by a great weekend. Very nice! Live webcam? Check YOU out! ;-0

  10. Paul -- thank you, and indeed I will.

    Craig -- I know, right? Perhaps for all those asshats out there who have written "hey baby do u cam" to me, I should flash them next Friday. :-D


    Hey! That dude is an "educated music engineer!"... I think if he likes the Beatles.. he should be in like Flynn! LOL

  12. That was the most romantic aroma of highest lusting poetic passage of antiquity I have ever read.
    Perhaps he suffers from broca aphasia. But no matter what his problem is, everyone knows NOT to open Pandora's Box. He is obviously beyond crazy to even suggest such insanity.

  13. great googley moo.....

    i read that and want to find a slimey rock to crawl under.

    thousands of kind, thoughtfull, caring men and along comes this twerp and drags us all down.

    there you are...on the terrace/patio...over a cup of coffee, looking at she who is sweetness...and you see the full moon rise behind her...."madame, the moon you ordered has just arrived". you're on a roll and she opens her email, finds that dreck and volunteers at the nearest convent.

    talk about chilling thots.....what if there is/are girls who read that and...."my princie boy!!!" [princess needa bara soappa from carl barks' "in ancient persia"]. heaven forfend!

    whatever happened to the old concept of "if i want sex i'll ask for it like a man and if i'm turned down i'll take it like a man".

    when push comes to shove, when it comes down to love....the kiss rule [keep it simple stupid] is left at the starting gate.

    this was a fun[i think] post and i'd ask for more examples but i may read one after a full meal.

    happy anniversary!!


  14. That cat is so perfect for you. The expression (even without the hand gesture) is perfect.

    I hope you have a wonderful weekend. I would say, "Be good." but it would be a total waste of effort.


  15. My only question to you is: after such an enticing proposal, what are you still doing here? Go on with your "nymphomaniacal" self.

    A girlfriend and I once compared notes received from someone on Spankfinder. It was an absurd come-on, complete with descriptive language and a reference to member size (I wish I'd saved it). It turns out that this note served as an introductory form letter that he sent out to anyone who piqued his interest.

    Because it was that good, apparently.


  16. Zelle -- thanks! For some reason I can't open that picture link, but I'll try again when I get home.

    OS9 -- well, someone obviously opened Pandora's Box once to find out how bad it was, so people ARE that insane! :-)

    ddon -- I love that word, dreck. It's so perfectly descriptive.

    Poppy -- isn't that cat priceless? Be good, huh? Tell J that. ;-)

    pink -- yes, I have featured a few of those form letters in this very column!