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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I am, therefore I bitch

Or is it the other way around? Whatever. I don't care.

Cosmopolitan magazine (yes, I read Cosmo, shut up) has a regular feature they call "Bitch It Out!", in which they invite their readers to vent their frustrations, aggravations and complaints. Not because they can do anything about them, but because they recognize sometimes it feels good to blow off steam and just maybe, others out there will relate to you. I rather like this idea, so I'm going to indulge in a bit of bitching myself. And after that, I'm opening the floor. Someone pee in your Wheaties? Having a suckfest of a day? Let go of it here! Have fun with it. You'll feel better, I promise.

I hate the dentist. No, not my dentist, personally. He's a decent chap. But I hate going to the damn dentist. I don't like people poking around in my mouth. I don't like having my jaw wedged open until it feels like it's going to lock in that position. I really, really don't like that nasty, poky little implement that scrapes and scrapes and scrapes. I hate the taste of that stupid numbing agent that's supposed to make me not feel the needle, but I do anyway (and I hate the needle too). I hate the sound of the drill and the smell of teeth being pulverized by it. And you know what I hate more than any of that? How @#$%ing much it costs for the dubious pleasure of all this torture.

I had my annual dental exam today. I get my teeth cleaned twice a year and I observe all the proper oral hygiene, so my teeth are generally in decent shape. But when I was younger I wasn't as conscientious, so I have a mouthful of crowns and fillings. Only one root canal, though. So far.

Last year, I got a clean bill of health after the x-rays and exam, and I exhaled in gratitude, realizing I hadn't taken a breath in the past 45 minutes. Today, I wasn't so lucky. Triple whammy... An old crown needs replacing, as well as a very old filling, plus I have a tiny new cavity. Fun fun fun! Dear teeth: You suck. So I had to make an appointment for two fillings and a crown; I am NOT doing this before the Shadow Lane party, so I scheduled it for the Tuesday after I come home. What the hell, I'll be dealing with post-party drop anyway. Might as well throw in mouth pain and get it all over with at once.

The cost of today's exam and the upcoming work? $1,145. And that is with dental insurance. What the hell are they putting in my teeth, platinum?

Funny thing about checking accounts -- they don't self-replenish. You have to actually have some work to do, earn some money and deposit it. Not much of that going on around here. So you'd think my damn teeth would cooperate and stay healthy, but noooooooo. Blech. Nothing I can do about it, though. I'm rather attached to my teeth, so I gotta do what I gotta do.

It was 108 degrees here today, at least that's what my car's temp gauge read on the way home. Have I mentioned lately how much I detest the heat? I don't even feel like playing, which would probably do me a world of good. Ever notice how extremes in temperature either way are not conducive to spanking? If it's too cold, you want to stay bundled up, not remove layers of clothing. And when it's this hot, the last thing you feel like doing is exerting yourself. This afternoon, I sat in my computer chair and thought, "I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry." However, it took me nearly an hour to go get something to eat. Why? It seemed like too damn much effort to get up and walk into the kitchen. So forget spanking. Six swats in and I'm breaking a sweat. And don't give me this baloney about how women don't sweat, they glow and look dewy. I'm not a freaking Southern magnolia blossom. I sweat.

It was a crappy day. Not a heartbreaking day, not a tragic day, not an earth-shattering day... just enough to make me cranky as hell. Forgive me and thank you for listening. But I'm all about equal opportunity.

So, something have you cranked out of shape? Share! Bitch it out. I feel so much better.


  1. Would it help the dentist if you got your teeth spanked out of you at SL party? Maybe you better wear a mouth guard. Seriously though, I feel your pain about the dentist. I had a ten year furlong from the dentist, and paid the price.

    But to bitch about something... I hate the music industry and the crap they push on us.

  2. Pool wilting flower! Too bad it's been so hot! Well, we've had a mild summer thusfar, so it won't last too long (hopefully). Good luck at the dentist!

  3. OS9 -- They're spankers, not hockey players! LOL Oh, and I feel the same way about the television industry these days.

    Craig -- Yeah, it's supposed to break this weekend. As for the dentist... blech. Shadow Lane first, then I'll deal with it.

  4. I hate the dentist. I have a high pain tolerance they say --at least for dental work! I panic so bad JUST sitting in the office awaiting my turn, that they just hand me the valium and a cup of water the minute I walk in the door. 45 min. later, I'm still so bad, they give me that obnoxious gas to put me in a twilight state before I tear off the chair's "pleather" by white knuckling the arms of it.

    One day the dentist walks in. I'm all laid out in the chair, naturally chilled, and white knuckling the chair. I appear pale to the dentist. He says, "Zelle? Are you okay?"

    I said, "Well Doc, I'm pretty scared, and frankly, I'd rather have a baby than have this dental work.

    He said, "Well make up your mind sweety, cause I gotta adjust the chair."

    (spew!!!) I laughed so hard at that comment that I instantly felt a little more at ease. Where's my gas??? LOL

  5. Only one root canal? You're a mere beginner! I have at least ten, I think. I've lost count.

    Loved Zelle's reply, but trust me, I KNOW I'd rather have dental work than a baby.

    Yeah, I've had a crappy time lately, with the ups and downs - mostly downs - of canine health. We don't have pet insurance, so the costs really mount up fast. And no matter how long they live, it's never long enough. 'Nuff said.


  6. Hmm, I guess today is not the day to tell about how I always have perfect dental check ups...

    How about a "reward" instead? I was thinking back to the previous discussion about wood. I am not a big fan of it: I believe it tends to deaden the feeling. I also believe the hand is much more intimate. Yet, when I was a young, naive college student, I had a "Sister" in my fraternity who insisted on learning what the paddle was all about. Now, I actually then knew very little about that tradition: it was not part of our fraternity (sorry any M/M fans out there). I actually didn't know what to do. Of course, unlike the old joke where the masochist says "hit me" and the sadist says "no", I felt it was my duty to procure a paddle. I used a ping pong paddle OTK bare method. It worked just fine. She did say it stung a lot more than she expected, but she never used a safe word as she wanted to feel the experience. So, to each their own. Some do find it fun.

    So, during root canal, go to your happy place in your mind: maybe where you are lying over someone's knee...I hope you'll be fine with it.

  7. P.S. Everyone, buy Erica's book and read it. That is an order. First, you will be glad you did. It is very worthwhile.

    Read it inbetween postings. It will something to do while you wait for the next posting. I promise you, it is very well written and I believe everyone reading this site will learn and appreciate things from the book.

    If you don't read it, don't make us go there and not spank you. We mean it. We'll do it, too.

  8. WHAT BOOK?!?!! as usual when they announce the good stuff i manage to have just stepped out for a beer.

    of course i'll buy it. i just have to locate one.

    my gripe is negativity.

    while visiting old familiar places on youtube i blundered upon a terrific young blues player[very early 20's] so i sent him an email. he lives in boston and i recomended he visit two of my oldest & dearest friends who own music stores that have been in business for decades. i also made a few calls and got him an interview with one of the nations top blues lables and an invite to one of the most wonderfull places a blues player could hope to visit.

    welll.......[see jack benny]'d think i spit in his socks. "i don't know who you are..why should i go see complete strangers? how do
    i know that you know these people? why should i visit some stupid museum?" of course i did insult him by suggesting that perhaps two of the worlds most respected authorities on old time blues, country, jazz, & ethnic musics might know more than he does.

    ahh well..... much ado about nothing.

    whatever happened to the old "can do" attitude.

    hermione..nothing is too good for our pets grouses the old fart as he goes to get the kittys chunky morsels because they refuse the pate's now.

    happy venting everybody,


  9. Hello my Erica good luck at the dentist i know you will do well your the bravest person i know next week it is my turn to go to a certain doctor that i just don't want to go to she is nice but the exam itself is very uncomfortable i am always nervous i will need a whole bottle of ativan to calm me down, i would much rather be over someone's knee getting a spanking.i never had a cavity but i know how you feel,love you big hugs xoxo from your naughty girl Jade

  10. Danversdon: Good news. Scroll up to the beginning of this blog and look to the right. There should be a link to Erica's book. If the link doesn't work, go to Lulu books (google it) and look for "Erica Scott". If that doesn't work, post something and I am sure I or someone will find and post a link. I am serious: It is a terrific book, lots of personal insight, good "fiction", anyone here on this blog is guaranteed to enjoy it. Order a copy and read it when it comes. Buy extra copies for your friends, neighbors, relatives, parents, etc. I guarantee you will enjoy it. (This guarantee comes with no actual financial incentives, but only my good word and good name, even though I don't really have that good a name, but I digress....)

  11. Now, who wants to help me write the screen version of Erica's book?

  12. Zelle -- that is hilarious!! Gotta love a dentist/doctor with a sense of humor. I once had a dentist walk in and say, "Hi, how are you?" I said fine, and she said, "Liar! You're in a dentist's office!" LOL

    Hermione -- why can't pets live as long as their owners? One of life's cruelest imbalances, I think. :-(

    Paul -- I have actually drifted off in my mind to spanky thoughts while in the dentist's chair. It helps! And thank you for pimping my book. :-)

    ddon -- As Paul said, go to the top of the page, look to the right and you'll see a photo of the book cover -- double click on it and it will take you to the site. Oh, and that blues kid sounds like a twit.

    Jade -- you'll do fine at your exam, I know it. Think happy thoughts of your horse and all the other fun things you love.

  13. I love cosmo, it is one of my guilty pleasures!

    Vent! The stupid financial aid people screwed up my loan so now I have to wait a week for them to cut me a new refund check.

    Think this is cutting it close? I can pick up the check starting at 8am on September 1st... my flight to Vegas leaves at 11:00am.

    If I am able to get my money squared away and make my flight... I might just use my luck and bet the whole refund on red. ;)

  14. Kat -- UGH! As if preparing for these party weekends isn't stressful enough.

    You have to make it, period. Richard is waiting. :-D

  15. LOL... well, I have the plane ticket. Maybe if the check doesn't come through in time I can stand there and charge a buck a swat to help pay for my party ticket and hotel room. :-P

  16. WTF ARE they repairing your teeth with? That bill is insane. I hate the nasty gritty toothpaste they use to clean with, too. They never get it all rinsed away. The grinding sound of the toothbrush is bothersome too.

    My only complaint for today is I feel sleep deprived and was too body tired to go to the gym. Will resume tormenting my body tomorrow. :)

  17. Oops HOW could I forget the fact My Waste is up to its usual suck ass performance. I had 5 messages sitting in my in box since Sunday the 22nd. One friend gave me a "scolding" because I opened his message and did not reply. I couldn't get the send button to work and then actually forgot to revisit the page.

  18. Kelly -- MySpace is completely dysfunctional these days. What the hell did they do to it? Nothing works right anymore, and the "new and improved" page layout sucks eggs (the ones with salmonella, too).

  19. Erica: Maybe the dentist could give you a spanking, and for the privilege take a little off the total price.... :-)
    Then again, being in the dentist chair after a spanking weekend, hopefully your bottom will give you a distraction from the pain! Wait a second, shouldn't you like being in the dentist chair??

  20. paul & erica,

    well it cost 2 months budget of books at the thrift stores and more than a month of pb's but i bit the bullet.

    erica & zelle...i've tried emailing you thru your blogs but keep getting an error message even tho i don't do the address. going thru yahoo has also yielded no joy. we share many interests that don't belong here....what to do?



  21. Erica,
    Redxxx might have a good idea there. Carly Simon is said to have been spanked before going on stage by someone to help with nerves. Maybe getting a spanking before the dentist appointment would work.
    The one thing that goes through my mind in the dentist chair is that, the dentist is going to ask. "Is it safe?" I probably shouldn't have mentioned that if you didn't already have that nightmare.

  22. Redxxx -- uhhhhhhhh... if you saw my dentist, you'd know that's not an option. :-) But yes, I may very well be so out of it after the party, I will sit in the chair and zone out.

    ddon -- thanks! I wish I cuold help with the email, but I don't understand why it doesn't work for you, as others have been able to email me from here. :-(

    OS9 -- normally I'd say that's a good idea, but I'm going to be coming off a party weekend and I'll be spanked out. Perhaps I should do it the old-fashioned way and resort to drugs!

  23. if you cuold[way to go proof reader] here is what happens...

    i get this message:

    host'smip' could not be found.

    please verify that you have entered the server name correctly.

    account 'http', server'smip' protocol smtp, port 25 secure[502]
    no socet error 11001, error number 0800cccod

    i get pretty much the same thing from zelle.

    i am technophobic and i think systems hate me.

    if you could email me at my listed address maybe that might work.

    nothing to do with this blogs contents, rest assured.

    best ddon

  24. OH MY GOD -- cuold?? Ugh! I can't believe I did that.

    Try writing directly to me, rather than through the blog server.

  25. Going off to a safe place in your mind while at the dentist is a good thing. Think spanky thoughts. Of course, you may not realize it, but you may start speaking out loud. Don't worry, whatever you say, I am sure the dentist has heard before. And, it could make a chapter in his next book, or your next book.

    I do have another reward. As a follow-up to my previous reward, I actually had two "sisters". One was actually the girlfriend of a fraternity brother, who felt funny being her "brother", so I was officially her "brother". She also insisted on being paddled. What is it with women wanting to be paddled? I also used the ping pong paddle on her, but not OTK and it was on the back of her pants.

    Anyway, it is good, Erica, to see a woman who doesn't like wood. It never made the most sense to me, except maybe in the case of a "sister" whose boyfriend might not have liked if I used my hand. (Although, why ask me...couldn't she have asked him to paddle her...or, maybe, she asked us both?...)

    Happy zoning out, subspace, or whatever each wishes when they are doing something painful like the dentist, or pleasurable, like learning what a paddle is...

  26. Hello Erica and welcome to blogging. I have read your myspace blog and glad to have I seen this new link on Bonnies in with the new blog and decided to check it out.

    I'd also like to invite you to join the spanking bloggers network If you would like go to Spanking Bloggers Network Forum. and read the getting started and I hope to see you there.

    I will also be adding your link to my own blogroll on my blog good to have you here in this blog world as well.

  27. Wow! That's quite a bitching session right there! The best of which was:

    "Dear teeth: You suck."

    Perhaps I picked a bad day to visit? Or maybe I should've knocked first. Unfortunately, I have nothing to bitch about today.

    At any rate that post was hilarious! Thanks.

  28. Cookie -- glad you found me! I will check out that network, and thanks. :-)

    BabyMan -- welcome. Not to worry, you didn't have to knock. My bark is worse than my bite. Promise. :-)

  29. Kat,

    The CHECK will be cashed, I can assure you!! Just get your ass to Vegas baby, even if your check doesn't clear you will be looked after, seriously. Whatever happens you will get the check eventually so you will be covered.

  30. (giggling ) Rut roh, Kat's in trouuuubllllle...

  31. This was the ultimate blog topic this week for me after all.
    My friends and I planned weeks ago to go to our local amusement park Kennywood today. The weather is picture perfect 75 degrees and not a cloud in sight. We arrived after noon to see a handful of cars there. No biggie considering many schools are back in session. We see barriers to all entrances though and saw a security guard who informed us the park closed daily as of August 24. Those said kids back in school are the majority of the park's employees! Now it's open weekends only and Labor Day which will be mass chaos.

  32. Have to go to the Dentist no way around - it is much worse when you have to go on holiday, it does spoil your holiday and can be more costly.

    Take heart Erica and have that gleeming SMILE..!