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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Come and get me

Apologies for the delay. I was so sleepy and out of it last night, I couldn't have formed a coherent post. Still feeling kind of out of it today, actually. The sign of a good session. :-)

We chatted it up for a long time before any play started. When I sensed that things were about to transition, I excused myself to use the restroom, and as I walked back into the living room, Mr. D grinned at me and patted his lap. However, I didn't take my place there. I crossed the room and sat at the dining room table. "You want me?" I taunted. "Come and get me."

He looked amused. Didn't move at first. "I think I'll have some chocolate first," he said, helping himself to the bag of Hershey's Nuggets I'd put on the coffee table. In response, I put my booted legs up onto the table and picked up a magazine.

Yes, he came and got me. Scooped me up bodily and carried me to the couch. And then made me wait. "You're so ready, aren't you?" he teased. I believe I said something along the lines of "Are you ever going to fucking get on with it already?" That did it.

Mr. D likes to say he's spanking me with love. He's also fond of laying on the hardest strikes and saying, "Feel that? That's love," or "Are you feeling the love?" Which, of course, is a setup. Because at the moment, it feels like anything but love, and I'll be damned if I'm going to answer "yes." But if I don't say anything, he'll say, "I don't hear your answer." If I say "no, dammit, I'm not feeling any @#$%ing love!", then he'll say, "Oh well, I guess I just have to keep going until you do." Arrrrrggghhh. 




But you know how tops are. They drive you to the brink, and then they turn around and do something gentle and sweet, and you're reeled back just a bit. Just enough to keep going.




Payback for defiance resulted in a night of wood. (Implements, people. Don't be filthy.) Except for a little taste of riding crop in the beginning, the entire second half of the session was wooden paddles. I don't remember when I broke down and wept, but all I do remember is that familiar inner struggle. "I can't take this yes you can no I can't yes you can no I can't yes you know you can and you will. Because you want to."

Somewhere in the turmoil, his calm voice floated in. "Just a little more. You know you need this. You know this is good for you." Yes, I do. I stop struggling and my body melts into the bed, acquiescing. That's when he knows I'm truly done.

No, he didn't stick the camera in my face. He's very respectful and kind afterward, deferring to my privacy. I'm the one who suggested it. I'm learning, slowly, to embrace my vulnerability and show it. Because even a hard-ass like me breaks down.




Later, both ravenous, we went to dinner. We both had a cup of soup (mind you, at Jerry's Deli, a cup is the size of a bowl, and the bowl is a size in which you could almost bathe a small child) and shared a wonderful salad with grilled chicken. Not at all eager to go back out in the cold, we lingered and talked some more.

On January 25, it will be six months since we met. Six months already?? He asked me how I felt now about ST, if I missed him, etc. I thought carefully about my answer. ST will always have his place, after all we shared; nearly two years produced a cache of treasured memories. I admit, my pride still hurts at how easily dispensable I was. But miss him? Not now. I'm blissfully happy with the top I have now, who has become very dear indeed.

Anyway. I must collect myself and do some work. I love squirming at my computer chair, feeling tingly and dreamy, but it's reality time. When my spanker is here, the world goes away for a few hours; there is no work to do, no bills to pay, no phones to answer. Onward with the week, and I will look forward to that sweet, painful, pleasurable oblivion once again.

26 comments:

  1. I probably should not post this, but that has never stopped me before. Yes, I am one of those tops but I admit that I miss Danny. Danny meets Erica or Erica meets Danny was the last Shadowlane video that I have watched. After that one, the rest are dull. NO, I don't want to compare ST, Mr. D, or any other top you might play with. But, I also miss the people who did the one or two 1920 type videos you did with them. Where have the years gone. I am happy that you are finally going to show us your other side. Red eyes, smeared makeup. I have waited a long time for that. Thanks for the picture. Hal

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  2. Hal -- I will always love Danny. And I too miss Spanking Epics. But past is past.

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  3. Erica
    Heart and bottom warming post, nice robust spanking by the look of your lovely bottom; hand holding just off the charts hot

    Love dinner after a nice sound spanking, just amazing.

    Thank you so much for your candor ... And your well spanked bottom.
    Always
    Ron

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  4. Ron -- oftentimes I'm too hazy to go back out for dinner, but hot, comfort-food soup was calling my name last night! :-)

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    Replies
    1. Ice, snow and freezing rain here today.....that sounds perfect!
      Always
      Ron

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  5. Beautiful - I mean: really beautiful - pictures - very appropriate prelude to the six month anniversary celebration.

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  6. Ha! Ha! Nice move or lack of regarding the refusal to walk over to Mr.D's inviting lap.

    Here's to many more months/years of play time, too. :)

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  7. MrJ -- and after that, it's his birthday in February. I suppose I'LL be the one with the birthday spanking. :-)

    Kelly -- well, you know, don't want to make it too easy!

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  8. Erica, you look beautiful as always. Thanks for a fun read and kudos on the nice boots.

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  9. Hi Erica -- I am happy that you and Mr.D had another GREAT session.Happy 6th month anniversary to you both :-)You look BEAUTIFUL in your boot's,I like your idea having him come and get you :-)Nice pic's.Much Love and hug's from naughty girl Jade

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  10. Erica, yeah, Danny was the best! Hal sure was right about that.

    I do miss those great times, and it still makes me happy to think of you... and I'm very glad you are happy and well.

    And it's cool that the hacking collective Anonymous is such a fan of yours! See if they will bump up my credit score, will ya?

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  11. Jade -- not quite six months yet, but close. :-)

    Danny -- I had a feeling you'd turn up! :-) Yeah, what's with all the @#$%ing spam? Been tons of it lately. Hope you're doing OK!

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  12. Spam? What do you mean? Not from my account, I would hope... email me.

    I'm doing pretty okay, even quit smoking!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, I thought you were talking about all those damned Anonymous spam posts on Blogger/gmail. Nope, never got spam from you.

      YOU QUIT SMOKING?? Yes!! (jumping up and down)

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  13. Yeah, 20 minutes ago... aw, geez, look, I just started again...

    Kidding! I quit New Year's Eve. Almost no cheating since.

    I had cut down to 3, then 2 cigarettes a day for weeks before. There are occasional cravings, but it's not as bad as I expected. It has been pretty manageable.

    I've heard that quitting smoking is harder than quitting heroin. So I have done something harder than quitting heroin.

    Do you realize what this means? Yes, I have a very powerful will deserving of admiration, but besides that... I can start doing heroin! And then I can quit when necessary! Should be a piece of cake.

    Mmmm, cake. Not sure I will quit that just yet.

    And cold turkey sandwiches... what's the best way to quit that?

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    Replies
    1. Oh, good grief. That's right, trade one addiction for another, brilliant man. :-) Seriously, though, congratulations. Better for your health AND for your wallet. And don't quit cake. That would be cruel and unusual.

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    2. Okay, I'm not really going to do heroin. And I do enjoy cake. But I just can't quit the cold turkey. It's like a sandwich a day habit now. Usually with Cajun seasoning sprinkled on the meat. And those little pickle chips, and Inglehoffer mustard. There must be some way to quit eating that type of sandwich, can't think of what they call it...

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    3. Really, I wouldn't worry about your cold turkey sandwich habit. It's when you start putting crack(ed pepper) on it that you're in trouble.

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    4. Oh, Erica... groan. just, groan. Mine was better.

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  14. I love reading about how your relationship has grown over the last six months.... so beautiful. I definitely feel the love :)

    xo,
    SC

    PS Did you wear your Baskin-Robbins panties on purpose? It's freezing outside...much too cold for ice cream!

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  15. SC -- Nope, they went with my pink shirt! :-D Definitely no ice cream the past couple of weeks. Brrrr!

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  16. Wow! Six months already? I'm so glad you are not pining for ST, although he will always have a special place in your heart. Would you agree to a session with him if he phoned you today?

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  17. Hermione -- good question. I'd certainly play with ST again. There's no reason not to. I'm such a loner in life and my bridges are few; I don't want to burn them unnecessarily. But would I go back to the arrangement we had before? No.

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  18. It seems like it's been a quick 6 months! It's pretty impossible (and not really produtive anyway) to compare one person to another, but I'm glad that Mr. D has been a fit for you and created new treasured memories.

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  19. Lea -- time does fly, faster every year. Kinda scary, really!

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