(sigh)

New Guy has a bad cold. I kinda had a feeling... usually on Monday morning, he drops me an email to tease me a bit about what's coming later. This morning, I didn't hear from him... and then I got email from him in the early afternoon, when he's usually at work. :-(  Poor guy was sick all weekend and he didn't want to take a chance of spreading it to me.

Wish I could make him some chicken soup or something. Oh, wait. That's right... I don't cook. Never mind. I'll just have to send my best wishes and recovery thoughts.

So, what's a girl to do while she waits for her top to feel better? Post more pictures!

I have some goofy ones from the opening of the Nervous-Neglected-Wife-Hires-a-Prostitute video. My character has never done anything like this before, you understand, and Sarah's character is trying to put her at ease. Before Hubby comes home unexpectedly, she attempts a bit of seduction:

Naturally, when we were shooting these stills, K and Paul were hooting and hollering (I swear, men are so juvenile), so Sarah and I started hamming it up...

And then, of course we both lost it.

Here's me playing innocent and sweet (after I've practically thrown Sarah behind the bed) when Paul surprises me by coming home early...

And Sarah just had to make a little more mischief.

Hummmppph. :-)

Here's the frustrated teacher and the bratty schoolgirl. I love Sarah's expression -- "WTF do you want from me??"

Check out Paul's expression here -- ("Do I love my job? Oh HELL yeah!")

And just for the hell of it, here's another picture of Max, because he's so darn cute:

Keep your eye on Sarah's blog as well... she's got a whole lot of stuff going on, but I know she'll be writing about our adventures as well. (Oh, and psssssst... on February 5, somebody's having a birthday.) :-)

I'm still not fully back to reality yet. I can't believe I was there for only four-and-a-half days; we crammed so much into them. I'm waiting for a drop like I get after parties; hasn't happened so far, so maybe I'll get lucky and dodge it.

I do miss New Guy, though. Take good care, darlin'. :-)

Weekend + a couple of pictures

Hope everyone had a nice weekend! I was so jet-lagged and loopy on Friday, I stayed home that evening, but went to John's yesterday morning instead. It was fun to catch him up on all the adventures and stories. He was enjoying it all and kept asking for more. Poor baby had dental work done, so he was in a fair amount of discomfort; I'm glad I could distract him. Still has the rash, but says the itching is lessening slowly. I so want him to feel good again...

Sheesh! I take a few days off from blogging and my stats plunge. Ah well, I guess if you don't write, people don't come, 'cause there's nothing new to read. OK, I'll do my best to get the interest back up again. How about a couple more pictures from last week?

These are from the snotty waitress scenario -- Paul the annoyed customer taking me to task:

Facial reaction angle:

And here's a rarity -- me, exhibiting contrition (isn't Sarah's dress cute?):

This one is from the "hooker" shoot -- can you believe those handprints??

Paul had a case of dry skin happening on his right palm on Wednesday; I offered him some lotion, and he scoffed, "Nah, I don't want to smell like a girl." Men! So he kept on going, and when we wrapped, his skin had broken in about six places, tiny little splits.

Ouch! See the little cuts at the base of his fingers? So there were K and Sarah, fussing over him, asking if he was OK, offering him skin balm, ice, etc. Hello?? Sore butt over here! :-D

I have several photos of Sarah and me, and of the three of us, but I want to run them by Sarah first to make sure she's OK with my posting them.

Meanwhile, New Guy is coming over tomorrow; it's been two weeks and he says his hand is itching for some action. I seem to be fully recovered, except I have a bit of "sandpaper butt." So I'm loading up with Gold Bond Mega-Ultra-Healing cream. I missed him!

Back to the gym tomorrow too, after not going for a week. Can't say I missed that. Some day they'll invent a pill we can take that will tone our muscles while we sprawl on the couch watching trash TV and eating peanut-butter Oreos.

Well, it's a nice dream, anyway. Right up there with finding an anti-wrinkle cream that does everything its ads promise. You know it doesn't really exist, but you still keep hoping!

Back tomorrow to report on the Monday evening festivities. :-D

Back home -- it's catch-up time!

I have so much to write about and so many pictures to share, I don't know where to start! But I guess I should just jump in and start somewhere.

I had so, so, SO much fun, I really didn't want to leave! But I know I had to get back to real life. For a little while, it was suspended: No gym, no chores or errands, no bills to pay... just fun and silliness and work/play. Our host K and Paul and Sarah were so good to me and I enjoyed them all a great deal. Not to mention the doggies!

You know, Paul and Sarah have so many irons in the fire, it's a little confusing to try to explain just what I worked on. Paul has the one big project, which I believe he's going to call Spanking 101 -- that's the sort of instructional series, tons of clips with voiceovers. But he also has clips he is uploading called Spanking Shorts. Plus, Sarah is shooting content for her own site.

So, on Monday, I shot five clips -- two were for Spanking 101 and three were for Spanking Shorts. On Wednesday, the three of us shot three longer clips, which will go up on Sarah's site. We were going to do one more for Spanking 101, but I was absolute toast by then and knew I couldn't give it justice. No worries, Paul said. They're going to be shooting this stuff for the next several months and they'll have me back for more! :-)

Wednesday, the first two shoots were a bit more complex. In the first one, we had an authentic schoolroom setup with old-fashioned desks -- Sarah played a bratty student of a fancy private school and I was her teacher, frustrated because she just failed a test, getting every single answer wrong. I keep her after class, and she's so snippy with me, we end up getting in a shouting match. Then Principal Paul hears the ruckus, comes in and spanks Sarah for her disrespect to me... then spanks ME for not handling her properly! We both get bent over the desk for yardstick swats as well.

The second one is realllllllly bizarre, but you'll have to admit, it's original! :-) I play Paul's wife, and I'm frustrated because he never, um, pleases me sexually. So I hire a prostitute (Sarah) with the idea that getting pleasure from a male hooker would be cheating, but not from a woman. (How's that for rationale?? LOL) Anyway, I give her $100 and just when she's about to take off her dress and get started, my husband comes home unexpectedly. Of course, he spanks both his wife AND the hooker.

In the third, Paul and Sarah play guests at a Bed & Breakfast, and I'm a snotty waitress. Sarah leaves to get the car and Paul stays to give the waitress a special "tip."

Sarah has more clothes and costumes than I've ever seen before all in one place. They shoot often at K's house and she has bags and boxes and drawers and closets stuffed with everything you could imagine! In one large suitcase, nearly as big as the one where I packed my clothes, she has shoes alone... pairs and pairs and pairs. So I was able to borrow a dress from her for the waitress scenario, since I didn't have anything that worked. She found an adorable schoolgirl outfit, but she had no idea where all her socks were, so I loaned her a pair of white socks. Oh, and she also very thoughtfully brought along a bagful of warm sweaters for me in case I needed them.

On Wednesday night when we were all done, the four of us went out to a wonderful seafood place to celebrate. Damn, that was fun! We stuffed ourselves (I hadn't been eating much all week, due to shooting, but now I could forget about that), and I even had lobster. Paul insisted; he said I should get something I wouldn't normally get, and if I liked lobster, now was the time to get it, being in New England. I haven't had it for years... oh God, it was so good.

It started snowing (again!) while we were at the restaurant, so when we went to the car, it was falling. Paul and Sarah were laughing at me because I was so fascinated with it, lifting my face to the sky, dancing around, grinning like a silly child. Well, you know, I'm a California girl. The last time I saw snow falling, I was 13! Oh, and when we were leaving the house and walking to the car, for some reason, I thought I was stepping up on something and instead plunged my foot down into a snowbank, up past my knee. Paul nearly fell over, he was laughing so hard. Sometimes I am such a dork! Oh, and I forgot to mention this -- when Paul, K and I went out to eat the night before, I put on a black knitted cap I'd brought. Everyone told me I had to have a hat. K gave me a down jacket and I put my own (unlined) coat over that, and then the hat -- I looked like Nanook of the North. Paul and K laughed so much at my hat, I took it off and never put it back on again! LOL... screw the cold. I looked like an idiot in that thing.

Yesterday was a bit rough; we all thought at first that my 1:15 flight out of Hartford would be canceled, since all the morning flights had been. But it wasn't, so K got me there a little after noon (I was panicking at first, since you have to get to LAX at least two hours in advance, but all three of them assured me it wasn't the case here). I checked in, had enough time to get a bottle of water and a Connecticut magnet and boarded.

In Dallas/Fort Worth, I was supposed to have a two-hour layover. However, at the gate they asked if I wanted an earlier flight. I was so tired and spacy by then, I said yes, not thinking clearly. Yeah, I'd save an hour on this end... but then at the other end, I'd have to wait longer for my luggage. (groan) Not only that, but the luggage was delayed! So even though I got to LAX earlier than planned, I had to wait an hour and 20 minutes for my damn suitcase. And you know what's weird? There are chairs all over the airport... EXCEPT in the baggage claim area. All those people waiting for their luggage, and there is not one seat of any kind to be found. I got so tired, I ended up just sitting on the floor, leaning up against a pole.

Finally got my bag, dragged myself over to the SuperShuttle terminal and got my ride. Of course, on the freeway heading for home, there was a massive accident and everything came to a halt. AAAAGGGGGHHH! Our driver cleverly maneuvered us off the freeway, took a detour for a few miles and then got back on the freeway ahead of the accident. Mercifully, even though there were four of us in the vehicle, he took me home first. Relief... it was 10 P.M. To me, it felt like 1 A.M. But I'd made it.

The one casualty? I left my cell phone at K's. I borrowed someone's cell at the airport to call and tell him -- he's mailing it to me.

Sarah loaded hundreds of photos onto three CDs for me. Unfortunately, one of the CDs was corrupted and I couldn't copy any of the pictures on it, but I've written to her and asked if she would please send me just a few of the shots on it. I'm kind of bummed, because on that CD there were some incredible shots of the snow that she took with her telephoto lense, plus a very cute shot of me with the two dogs. But it's OK. I have plenty of others on the other two CDs.

I have to go through all the spanking photos and select ones I like, reduce and crop them, etc. But in the meantime, here are some fun vanilla shots. Hope you like them!

The adorable Sarah Gregory and yours truly (wearing Sarah's sweatshirt):

Sarah, Paul and me:

Sarah, showing how unbelievably flexible she is (yes, she has both legs behind her head):

And here's me, attempting to do the same thing and failing miserably:

Here is Cocoa, the Doberman. Look how cute -- she has one pointy ear and one droopy one!

And here is Max -- I wanted to bundle him into my bag and take him home:

And finally, here's a view of the snow behind K's house, although it's nowhere near as good as the shots Sarah got:

After I go through the photos, I'll post more shoot-specific details with pictures. But for now, like I said, this is just catch-up. And I have to catch up on all the other blogs too!

Gotta head for the post office now and pick up my mail. Have a great weekend, y'all.

Hi from Connecticut!

Hey guys! Today we are taking a day off from shooting (Sarah has other appointments, and my butt could use a break anyway), so this is catch-up time. Reading email, trying to catch up somewhat with other blogs and with FetLife posts, and of course, updating here.

I'll start with this and then backtrack: I'm having a blast! :-)

Got up at 2:00 a.m. on Sunday for a 3:30 pickup. I had determined I was going to cram everything I had planned to pack into one big suitcase and my carryon, but I had to give up a few things, as there was way too much. As it was, I had to sit on my suitcase to get it to close.

The first flight was a breeze, as I was on the aisle and the center seat was empty. The extra space was a huge luxury! However, on the second flight, I was in the very last row (right by the restroom) and crammed up against the window by a nice, but big burly guy. With fresh tattoos on his left arm that he kept scratching. I finally offered him some lotion so he'd knock it off. There was no room left in the overhead, so I managed to shove my carryon under the seat, my purse at my feet and my book and water bottle in my lap. And I could not move. Fortunately, I was exhausted and was able to sleep much of the flight.

Paul and K (our host) picked me up at Hartford airport and took me back to K's house. It was snowy and freezing outside, but K's house was toasty warm, and he's been keeping the heat going 24/7. Plus, I have a space heater in my bedroom. All that fretting about not having warm clothes? It was all for naught. I haven't set foot outside since I got here. There is plenty of food and drink here, so we haven't gone out to eat, and that's fine by me. K even made chicken soup from scratch for us yesterday, loaded with meat and veggies and noodles. Heaven. There is filtered water, coffee, fruit, nonfat milk, cereal, lots of chocolate... I am a happy girl.

Yesterday, Paul and I shot five clips, with Sarah on the camera. She has gotten very good at working the other side of the camera and with directing, plus she edits and Photoshops and everything else. I am so impressed with how skilled she is. Anyway, we did some stuff for the Spanking Compendium, plus some role-play clips that will go on Paul's Clips4Sale site. (He's got a ton of different things going and is shooting with so many different people, it makes my head spin.) He and Sarah are even traveling to the UK to shoot with the models there. They are always on the go; Paul isn't going back to his house until March. That is such a foreign concept to me, being the homebody I am. Anyway, we had lots of laughs and silliness, got some great footage and photos and Paul and Sarah said I was one of the easiest models to work with. :-D  So much for my rep of being difficult -- HA!

I was glad I brought so many varieties of outfits -- I wore five different ones yesterday alone. Tomorrow, we are shooting content for Sarah's site, so she'll be in that as well, with K on the camera. Then we'll go out for dinner tomorrow night to celebrate, and Thursday afternoon I go home.

Sorry I don't have any pictures yet, but they're all on Paul's or Sarah's camera. I will get them mailed to me and when I come home, I'll sort through them and post some.

OH! I forgot to mention, there are two dogs here. K has a 12-year-old Doberman Pinscher named Cocoa and Sarah has a Chihuahua/terrier mix named Max. I adore dogs, so I've been having such fun with these critters. Max loves to play and is always bringing me his rope toy so I'll play tug-of-war with him. Both of them love to cuddle... last night, I was lying on the couch, and Cocoa settled in at my feet and Max on my stomach. Sarah took a couple of shots of that; I have to get those as well.

That's all I have for now, but I wanted to let y'all know I'm doing well and having a great time. I'm with incredible people and I feel like a celebrity. :-)  Plus all three of them have been keeping me in stitches laughing.

Hope everyone's having a great week so far!

A new adventure

I've been sitting on some news for a while, but didn't want to post about it until I was absolutely, positively sure it was going to happen. (I've gotten burned on that before, blathering on and on about something and then having it fall through -- depressing and embarrassing!) But now I know it's for real... so here goes!

Some of you may know, or have heard of Paul "Tubaman" Rogers. (Yes, he was a professional classical tuba player in his youth.) He has been in the spanking scene for many years and hosts the Texas All-State and Bottoms Up parties in Dallas. I had known of him for a long time, and finally got to meet him in person at the last Shadow Lane party. Very sweet guy, and he wrote a lovely letter to me after the party.

He's recently retired, and has immersed himself in the video scene. Having written several books (about 800 pages in all) of spanking material in an instructional vein, he decided to make a video project out of it, gathering experienced and new models to participate, and traveling all over the country, or flying models to him. He even has one of the UK models coming over to work with him. He works closely with Sarah Gregory, as they are play partners and dear friends. The ultimate intention is to amass as much footage as possible, covering the encyclopedia of spanking, and then open some web sites to showcase the material.

A couple of months ago, he wrote to me and asked if I'd like to be involved.

We exchanged several lengthy emails and discussed details. Because he is covering so many different aspects and angles, I basically had my choice of whatever struck my fancy. He sent me a loooooooong list of topics and suggested I choose ten of them, which I did. This is flexible and we may do other things, but it's a starting point.

He is flying me to Connecticut, where we will be staying in a house owned by a friend of his and Sarah's. I will have my own bedroom -- he said if that wasn't OK, he'd put me up in a hotel, but I declined that offer. I'd rather be where the action is, anyway. I crave space and privacy, but as long as I have my own room, then that's handled.

Paul will cover all my expenses and pay me for the shoots as well. He is making me feel like a celebrity -- even offered to fly me out early so he could take me to a show. I asked if I might have access to a computer so that I could keep up with things while I'm there, and he offered to buy me a laptop. (I declined that too, but wow... wasn't that nice??) He has been so complimentary as well, saying how thrilled he is that I'm going to be involved and that I'm bringing "star power" to his project.

Wow.

This has my head spinning, in a good way. And considering that my ego and feelings took a bruising recently (for reasons I will not go into here), Paul's kind words and offers have lifted my spirits greatly.

It's nice to be wanted. :-)

When Paul first contacted me about this, I was in the throes of dealing with John's illness and I didn't see how I could possibly do it. But he assured me that he was booked up until after the first of the year, and I figured (hoped) that I'd be less conflicted by then. John is stable, if still itchy, so I feel OK about leaving for a few days.

So... it's official, because I have the plane reservation in my hot little hands. I fly out on Sunday, January 23, and come back home Thursday. Connecticut in January! And I'm a California girl... I'm gonna freeze! LOL... oh well, I reckon I won't be spending all that much time outdoors. And at least one part of me will be warm.

I'll have to miss one Monday with New Guy... wish I could take him with me and get him involved in the shoots too! But one can't have everything.

Now begins the panic of planning... what do I need to pack? How many outfits can I cram into one suitcase? Make those lists! Don't forget anything! Book the shuttle to the airport! Cancel the newspaper! Hold the mail! Twenty million details!

(Can you tell that I almost never travel? I'm so unworldly about some things, I swear.)

Anyway... more details as I get them, but I am really excited. And SO pleased to be shooting once again. Every time I think my time in front of the camera is over, I discover there are people who still want to see me there.

Speaking of which, I got a holiday gift from the wonderful Lucy and Paul from Northern Spanking, with a note thanking me for working with them. Have I mentioned lately how much I adore these people??

That's enough blathering for now. Stay tuned! :-D

Here come da clips! :-)

I got a bunch of them tonight, so I will post a couple now and then more tomorrow. If I do say so myself, we're funny! :-D  So be sure to turn your volume up so you'll hear our dialogue.

This one comes at the end of his so-called "warmup":

And in this one, he had the strange notion that y'all want to see my face. Imagine that.

You know, I think we're having way too much fun; the strict-discipline aficionados will be disappointed. I mean, a spankee isn't supposed to laugh, is she? :-Þ  (although I do think my color speaks for the caliber of discipline and the power in the strokes, don't you?)

Thanks to New Guy for getting us these so quickly -- more coming!

Nerves

The pre-party buzz has been happening for a while now, and with the Shadow Lane party in less than two weeks, it's kicking into high gear. As are my nerves.

You know, I annoy the hell out of myself. I've been going to these things since 1997. J is with me, so I'm never alone. I have friends there; I'm not walking into a room filled with strangers. I know the drill at these things, I know how to find room parties, I know what to bring, I know what to expect (more or less). I love spanking and lots of it. So why am I still nervous after all this time?

Can't help it. I just am. I'm a skittish cat, as J calls me. No matter how many times I do this, I'm going to be nervous about it.

Part of it is the smorgasbord effect. I don't play that often anymore on my own, for various reasons. There are many friends and spankers whom I don't get to see, except for at these parties. So after months of starving, I enter this buffet, and I want to cram everything and everyone into a mere 2 1/2 days. And I can very easily end up making myself sick. I want to talk and hug and kiss and laugh and reminisce and play and play and PLAY and I can't do it all. Especially since, unlike some of my friends, I cannot do without sleep. Erica without sleep is a disaster in the making, a meltdown waiting to happen. If I take time to sleep in, to take naps, etc., I will lose valuable time I could be with friends. But if I don't, I won't be worth a damn to those friends anyway.

Part of it is my own fears of not being "enough." Will I be able to successfully give attention to everyone who desires it from me? And if I don't, will they be hurt? Pissed off at me? Think I'm a snob? Or worse, God forbid, think I'm a wimp and I can't take as much as I used to? Yes, I know that last one is stupid. But I reach a point sometime on Sunday where I wish I could just keep going on and on, but my body (particularly my butt) is screaming, "No, no, NO!" And I get frustrated with myself.

And finally, my own personality and nature is at war with itself. We have Erica the attention whore and the insatiable spankee, to whom these parties are as essential as air. Who thrives on the infectious enthusiasm and the sheer joy of these events, coming out of herself and blossoming like a hothouse flower. And then there is the Erica who gets overwhelmed, who doesn't do well in crowds, who tires and burns out and wants to go hole up and be a quiet little Troglodyte. The quieter, loner side of me is the way I live most of my life day to day. I want to break away from that side for a while, and I do... but then I get tired and it comes back full force.

Yeah, I know you guys go through this with me every freaking time. A few of you get it; probably most of you shake your heads and wonder what my problem is. "What's she got to be nervous about?" "Snap out of it." I would love to, believe me. It's exhausting being so neurotic.

I have two fun events scheduled for this party; I'm fairly positive I'm shooting with Northern Spanking, and I'm doing an interview with Richard Windsor. I don't know which days or what time I'll be doing either of these. Many friends are coming, old ones and newer ones, and I've already had several people express the desire to spend time with me. Yes, it's lovely to be wanted! Remember, I'm the girl who still has the pre-party dream where I'm at the SL party and I'm either in the wrong place, or I'm there on the wrong weekend, or I can't find any of my friends, and I go all weekend without playing with anyone. Yes, I really do have that recurring nightmare. So it makes me very happy that reality is quite different. But it also makes me nervous, wondering how I'm going to fit everyone and everything in.

Believe it or not (I don't!), I actually got another offer for a video, to shoot with the Strictly Spanking NY people. Their reputation is stellar and I was so honored that they wanted me. However... their shoots are about pure discipline, no banter, no roleplay, just very hard spanking with hand, wooden paddle and a heavy strap. If I were doing this shoot as an isolated occurrence, no question, I'd be up for it. It would be challenging, but I'd want to do it. But during a party weekend, with a dozen or more other spankings? I can't. I don't have it in me; it would be too much. I hate that. I wish I could do it all. But I know myself, and I know that I'd be overextending myself if I committed to that on top of everything else I want to do.

How disgustingly ironic that I'm always wishing I could shoot more, and now I have to turn an opportunity down?? Unfortunate timing.

Bless J's heart, he knows what a freakazoid I am before these things. He's already listening to my frazzled ravings and telling me how much fun it's going to be and how I'll be fine once I get there. Oh, and in his infinite support, he's endeavoring to "toughen me up" for all the play. Several times this weekend, he was servicing me with one of his two @#$%ing hairbrushes. Thanks a lot, honey. And he wouldn't stop until I answered the question: "Why am I doing this?"

"Because you're a jerk?" No.
"Because you're a sadistic f***?" Wrong answer.
"I don't know." Sorry, that's wrong too.
"OWW!" Nope, try again.
"Because you're prepping me for the party, dammit!!" That's it! Now how about a thank you?

Arrrrrgggghhh.

I do think he goes too far when he puts that damn thing to my lips so I can kiss it. Today, I blew a big raspberry on it. Miraculously, he didn't start over; I guess it was too damned hot.

Anyway, it's late at night and I will probably wake up tomorrow and cringe that I laid my vulnerability and insecurity so bare, but what the hell. We're all nervous, people. Even the veterans. Cut others some slack, and cut some for yourself too. These parties bring many emotions, desires and awarenesses to bubble right under the surface; it's no wonder so many of us get a little nuts. I'm saying this more as a reminder to myself, but if it helps anyone else, then excellent. See y'all in a couple of weeks.