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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Well, the spirit was willing, anyway

But apparently, my flesh is temporarily fakakt. (That's Yiddish for, well, you figure it out.)

I am so over this healing business. It sucks. How do people do these types of surgeries over and over? I never want to do this again!! I know I will be happy with the end result, but holy crap, no amount of reading really prepares one for the experience. My vanity is really biting me in the ass right now.

Monday was lovely; my girls Alex and SpankCake came by to visit me, and Steve did a drive-by so that they could finally meet one another. I wasn't up for eating much, so I told them to pick up whatever they wanted for lunch. They came with enough sushi for about four people, so Steve had some as well. They stayed for over five hours and it was great fun to see them.

By Tuesday, when Steve was due to visit, I was very much on edge. I knew I was severely limited on anything physical -- I certainly couldn't lie on my stomach and put my face down, or anything remotely like that, but I was so dying to play, just a little, just to feel that sensation and maybe some tension release. After he arrived, we discussed it. I suggested standing in the doorway to the hall, leaning into it and bracing my hands on the sides. At this point, because I didn't want my body jarred, I figured I wanted sting rather than heavy impact, so we decided on his hand and maybe a little bit of wooden spoon for some surface bite.

It had only been two weeks since I last played. But with the way my body reacted, you'd think it had been six months!

First, I had almost no pain tolerance. It could have been the awkwardness of the position, but it hurt a lot more than usual, even though he was going easy on me. After a while, I did settle into it a bit and started liking it, but still, it was hard to hold that position and I really wished I could hunker down somewhere, get off my feet. But I couldn't. My head needs to stay above my heart for now.

And once he started with the spoon, it went downhill from there. Within maybe a couple of minutes, he stopped, telling me there was blood. WTF??? We tried to work around it, but soon gave up. It just wasn't going to work. It was too soon, I guess. 

Well, I got my release, anyway. Because after that aborted attempt, I bawled and bawled. "I just want to be normal again!" I wept. "What's happened to me? What fun can you possibly have playing with me when I'm like this?"

So, so silly. But Steve was wonderful. He cuddled me close and told me he was here for me, no matter what condition I was in. That this was temporary and after a couple of weeks more of recovery, I'd be able to get back up to speed. And in the meantime, he just enjoyed seeing me and hanging out. Finally, I wound down and felt a little better.

But what a shock! I mean, my butt is nowhere near my face, for heaven's sake. It really is amazing, what a shock to the entire system surgery is. This is me after just those few minutes -- look at those white spots!

I thought, OK, that's just temporary, and it will all fade away like it always does. But shock again, it didn't. This was two hours later:

The Bionic Bottom is now apparently Buns of Jell-O...

(sigh) This too shall pass, like everything else. But yeah, I confess that I've been freaking out. It's only been two weeks tomorrow, but it feels like much longer. I want to be fully recovered and looking/feeling good now. But it will happen in my body's time, and I need to chill and wait this out. 

The good news: saw my doc and got the rest of my stitches removed. He was very patient and understanding about my fears, reassured me that everything is progressing normally and that I will get my spirits back and it will all be worth it. Still can't do a thing with my hair, but screw it; that's what bandannas are for. And while I can't do any cardio for at least another couple of weeks, I did get the green light for some walking and some (light) resistance exercise.

Oh, and I can chew again. Chewing food is good. :-)

Onward. I see my doc in two weeks. Until then, a day at a time. And maybe we'll try the crop next time?


  1. Wow, who would have thought you'd mark so easily, but your body is focusing all its healing efforts where it should so that you'll be back up and going in no time. Sending lots of hugs your way!

  2. That's פֿאַרקאַקט Erica! Glad you got to satisfy the itch; sorry you're still fighting it. :(

  3. Jay -- it's really mind-boggling, the widespread effect. I wanted to ask my doctor about it, but... you know, awkward. ;-)

    Mitch -- how did you do that? :-) Yeah, I'm going to be fighting all kinds of itches for a while, I'm afraid!

  4. Wow, that's extraordinary! It's funny isn't it - normally you lament your lack of marking, but it's clear that this really wasn't what you wanted. Heal fast lovely, hope you feel back to normal very soon. xx

  5. That's amazing in the difference of how your bum reacted to its usual spankings. Maybe due to less food intake you're missing some nutrients that made your bum more vulnerable? I mark like that almost always since I get very infrequent spankings and I'm very fair skinned.

  6. Could it be the painkillers and other drugs in your system that caused your bottom to react that way? Anyhow, this too shall pass!


  7. Yes, Erica, I know what the word 'Fakakt' means, but if you relax for the next week or so, I am sure your facial features will heal, and your bare backside will be able to take the normal type of punishing that you so crave. Don't hurry the process, BUTT, follow your DOCTORS orders. XXX Luv ya.

  8. Its the Meds in your system . Hmmmmmmmm i wonder if there is anyway to get you healed up and better and keep the buns o jello ? whole new world for u . JK lololololololol

  9. Pandora -- you're absolutely right, I do miss marking, for sure. But this was extreme! I mean, blood within a couple of minutes? Ack! The pendulum swung in the opposite direction. :-)

    Kelly -- I don't think it's food in this case. I've been making sure to get lots of nutrients -- eating plenty of protein and fruit and so forth. But I suppose it wouldn't hurt to take some extra vitamins.

    Hermione -- maybe it was all the Advil (I've switched to the narcotics to ibuprofen, with the doc's OK).

    Six -- I will do my best, promise.

    D -- nooo, I'd rather not keep those!

  10. Welcome to my (and other softies's) world :)

  11. Anonymous -- meh! I went through my own softie stage years ago! LOL

  12. I just quickly read back over the last few blogs to see what was going on and catch up with Erica 2.0 etc. The previous blog with the before and after pic, WOW, that's amazing. It was interesting to read your blog explaining your reasons and everything for having the procedure but I don't you needed to. Still great to read about the healing in both areas. Can't wait to see the new you.

  13. Mace -- thank you. You're not alone, you know. Both my boyfriend and my top didn't think I needed it either. But it's just one of those things I had to do.

  14. I understand and I don't think you need to justify yourself. The after pic speaks for itself. Looks incredible.

  15. What did the doctor advice on the crop? ;-)
    Gogo Erica, you'll do well!

  16. MrJ -- um... I failed to mention that to him. :-)

  17. I always mark more when I have something else going on in my body. I think it's because your immune system is focused on taking care of the other stuff and can't pay as much attention to your butt! The recovery period from something like this is lousy, but you'll get there, and you'll be so happy when you are! Spankcake and I will visit you again soon: I had SO much fun talking with you girls. xoxox

  18. Alex -- I ♥ you both! And that makes sense. The body can only do so much.

  19. Hate to tell you this, but as a senior citizen I have found that a good day is one where you get up & nothing new hurts, and I'm not into your kind of hi jinx.

  20. John -- my kind of hi-jinks, is it? Riddle me this -- if you're not into this stuff, then why are you reading a spanko's blog? ;-)

  21. I am not a participant, it is just an interest as an observer. The lady I have been married to for over 40 years is now too frail for BDSM.

  22. Hi Erica -- I am so very sorry, that your bum bled and marked like that :-( It's so not you at all. I think it's from the meds as well, I know I would mark badly too.I know you will be back to your old self soon :-)That will make me happy. It's just a little set back which SUCKS :-( but in the end it will be all worth it :-) You will always be bionic butt to me, NOT jello butt.Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade/ Emily Jean

  23. Jade -- it's OK. Yes, it will all be worth it. :-)