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Friday, July 11, 2014

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 7/11

Finally! I checked; it's been three months since my last CHoS. I've built up a nice little collection for your Friday amusement.

Do you want me to come fuck you really hard?

No. (gazing at the accompanying photo) You're really proud of that thing, aren't you. Shame that it's all you've got going for you.

This one isn't rude, but it does win the stupid prize:

hey was that you in the videos i saw?

Um... can you be a little more specific, please? I really don't know which videos you saw. No, I wasn't in the Sound of Music. Or in Boobs on Broadway.

How are you?
Would you like me to eat out your pussy?
Its my fantasy and fetish to do this, because I like the taste and smell

Well, good for you. I'll pass, however. My fetish is another kind of licking.

Aaaand this one wins the Supreme Arrogance prize:

real beauty and femininity comes from the inside and sometimes a slave/sub needs an experienced mistress like me to train, guide, nurture, use and bring out the best in them.. You can read my profile and get in touch.

And you can read my profile, especially the parts where I say I am neither sub nor slave, and that I bottom to men only. Then you can take your training and guidance and... well, figure it out, Mistress. :-)

As always, I saved the best for last:

Hi sweetness, 

Im Xxx a Dom. I am looking for a cute submissive like you to train. You have pretty face. It is in your nature to serve and service and I will train you well and give you a snapping pussy. I enjoy Domming you and giving you pleasure too as you gleefully submissively serve and service me. In private I do like to control with dirty talk to you and treating you like the down n dirty,in constant need of cock use slut behind closed doors we both know you are. I know we will have lots of hot fun together. I do luv to spank you with lots of ass swats making your ass nice and red! You have a cute face nice legs and a pretty ass. I luv to bring out the hot naughty inner slut inside you behind closed doors as your juices run out down your legs. I do find you sexy. You are about a hour drive for me. Call me or txt me at xxx-xxx-xxxx or send me your number and I will call or txt you. Send me more pics at And I will send you some of mine. I look forward to talking to you. You are cute and just what I am looking for a in a good sub. 

(sigh) Where do I begin?

I have no idea what a "snapping pussy" is, sweetness, but I really don't know why any man would want a woman to have genitalia that could bite their dick off. Of course, in your case, you have nothing to worry about. I doubt you can get anywhere near pussy, snapping or otherwise.

You're an hour away? Good. Please stay there.

To these charmers, I present today's Grumpy Cat:

It's been a crap week and I'm grateful it's over. One lovely bright spot was having lunch with Alex and SpankCake yesterday. Otherwise, it's been fairly blecchhh, with too little work and too much time on my hands. Post-holiday slow-down, perhaps. On a positive note, I did have the time to completely clean out my closet, and filled two giant Hefty bags with clothes for Good Will. Looks like it's time to shop! Hoping that next week will be better. 

Have a great weekend, y'all.


  1. Yay for a clean closet and making it to the end of the week! Now, I just need to make it through one more week.

  2. Jay -- rooting for you! I honestly would lose my mind with all those people in my face. Sending many supportive vibes.

  3. What blathering nonsense you tend to get. That last one is a wannabe that probably can't even get it up! I always love to read these and your clever way of answering makes it hilarious.

    Speaking of closets, I probably should clean mine out. On second thought....

  4. LOL!!!
    Damn that WASN'T you in all of those 80s Whitesnake videos?! :)
    Apparently the final writer is psychic already knowing he enjoys Domming and servicing you.

  5. Bobbie Jo -- I am a saver, so it's a huge deal for me, doing a purge like that. Have to say it felt good.

    Kelly -- psychotic is more like it. :-)

  6. Hi Erica,

    Snapping pussy? I've never heard of it but of course, good ole Google has. The urban dictionary's definition is "A particular type of pussy with good, strong, muscle contraction that can grab on to you and give you a decent fuck".

    And there's a song about it too. Who knew?


  7. Urban dictionary or not as a male I'll stay well the hell away from anything called a "snapping pussy".

    I hope that a sorted out closet is emblematic of a fresh start and next week is better in all possible ways.

    A. Nony Mouse

  8. Hermione -- about that song... Funny, that is not the Cinderella I remember as a child! :-D But I'm certainly glad I do my Kegels.

    Mouse -- thank you. I hope so too.

  9. XXX may learn how to speak to a woman if he is transferred to a co-ed school.

  10. John -- I saw a photo of Xxx. He is waaaaaay past school age.

  11. But what is his mental age? Obviously not very high.

  12. Erica, you are funny. I love those answers you give to these NUTS, who write to you. You have surely inherited your father's gift. His sense of humor. Thank you for helping me still laugh at my old age. Go girl Go. XXX Luv ya.

  13. six -- thank you. That's a lovely compliment indeed.

  14. Hi Erica -- I am so glad that you put, those IDIOTS in their place LOL :-) I agree I never heard of a snapping pussy either LMAO. These so called people,must of came from underneath a rock or something.they can't even spell right LOL. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it :-) Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade

  15. Jade -- you're very welcome.