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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The "P" word

You know the one. P-u-.... No, not that one, for heaven's sake.

The other one. Punish. And all its forms (punishment, punished, etc.). 

Damned if I understand why, but that word gives me goosebumps. We all have our buzz words, and of course for most of us, "spank" is one of them. For a lot of others (myself included), "bottom" is another. Punish is definitely high on my personal buzz list.

Replace "whip" with "belt" and I'm so there:

And while I can't stand action films, I admit my heart skipped a beat when I heard about the movie "The Punisher." Especially after finding out the hero was played by the devastatingly hunky Thomas Jane.

Oh yes, Thomas. Punish me. Please.

What is it about that word? I don't know; just one of those weird wiring things. But because I'm so drawn to it, I tend to remember all kinds of random instances where I heard it. And recalling them gives me the same shivers as they did then.

Some of my readers from way back when may remember my adventures with my aerobics instructor (who later became my personal trainer). Years ago, I was in one of his classes; he had done something or another that was rigorous with a lot of twisting, and my lower back didn't like it. So when we were lying flat and stretching, I surreptitiously reached down and kneaded the sore spot a bit with my fingers. How he saw that in a class packed with about 30 bodies, I don't know, but he called out, "Erica, did those twists tweak your back?" I grimaced and nodded, and then he said:

"Awww, I'm sorry, honey! I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to punish you a little!" 

And this was before he knew anything about my proclivities. I wonder if he saw me blush from hairline to toenail.

Cut to a scene I was in once, with a relatively new play partner. I was still in that insecure stage where I didn't want to say no to too many things, so I pretended to like a particular implement, when in truth I was scared of it. When he pulled it out in the middle of the scene, I involuntarily flinched and went rigid. He saw that, and questioned me about it. I then confessed how I really felt about it.

I heard a *plunk*. "You hear that?" he asked. "It's back in my bag, and you will never see it again." I sighed with relief. "But," he continued, "now I'm going to have to punish you for not being honest with me."

Oh, just scrape me off the walls and the floor...

You know how sometimes it's squirmy and embarrassing to speak our buzz words aloud? I've finally reached the point where it doesn't make me turn fifteen shades of purple to say the word "spank." But the P word still makes me choke a bit. Which is why what happened a couple of weeks ago startled me.

It was after I'd had my little meltdown over the predatory woman on FetLife so clearly competing with me over Steve. He and I had talked it out and I was OK again, but now feeling a bit sheepish over how off the wall I'd gone, and he knew it. So we addressed that during part of our scene. And I heard these words come out of my smart-ass mouth:

"I deserve to be punished for doubting you."

I cannot believe I said that. If someone had told me I would voluntarily utter that phrase, I would have laughed in their face. Someone would have to coerce (read: beat) those words out of me. But I spoke them of my own volition. 

I guess that's true submission, when someone as contrary and controlling as I am can reach that point. And he knew. "You won't do that again, will you," he said. "No, no, I promise." The connection at that moment was pure and whole and so, so tight.

Amazing what the right words can do, with the right people, the right chemistry. When it all comes together.

Any other "P" word lovers out there? Do share.

Now that I've gotten myself all hot and bothered, I need to go... pay some bills. (sigh) Oh, and find a new dentist. Reality sucks sometimes!


  1. Erica, you are 100% correct. There are BUZZ, words that turn a 'spanko' on. For me they are 'knicker's down, garter-belt and stockings. Of course cane, and birchrod. So here's what I wish for you. May I in my dreams see your knickers down, wearing garter-belt and stockings, being PUNISHED with a cane or birchrod on your bare bottom. XXX Luv ya.

  2. Six -- I think there's a few pictures of me like that floating around out there. :-)

  3. No spanker has ever directly said they were going to do that to me. So I can only imagine the shivers of excitement I'd feel if it were to become a reality.

    And I must confess, I have a HORRID potty mouth and DO incorporate the "P" word and it's male counterparts in daily conversations.
    WTH...I guess I REALLY need punished! :)

  4. Yes, the word 'spank' is always a tingle word, but for me the final instruction gets my heart racing. Like 'get over my knee' or 'bend over.'
    Must go now and jump in shower.....
    Kind regards,

  5. The word "punish" definitely qualifies as a buzz word for me; but only if it's from the right person since I'm so bristly about being casually topped.

    YS can say "punish" or some variation of it and I feel like my heart just stops. Anyone else, and I'm annoyed. :P

  6. Kelly -- LOL! I'm not too crazy about the other P word. I cuss plenty, but for whatever reason, I don't use the bodily parts cuss words as often.

    Gary -- especially when they add, "NOW." :-D

    Beth -- yet another example of how our beloved tops can do/say things that others, well, just can't. ;-D

  7. When I was young and the nature/nurture mix was doing its thing, "punish" was strongly connected with spanking. If we heard that a friend was going to be punished, many of us would assume a spanking was in order, and most of us would also have no problem imagining how that might feel, from personal experience.

    I'm pleased that that association and power of the "p" word has continued as I've become "of age" :) As a spankee I enjoy "punishment" role playing scenarios (funishment?), and as the spanker it's a hot button for me to have the spankee ask for or admit out loud that she's going to be punished.

  8. Anonymous -- "punish" for me as a kid could mean anything, including grounding or no TV. But now... yeah, just one thing comes to mind. :-)

  9. Didn't you and the Personal Trainer have a one on one on your birthday or some special day? I have known Erica for over 17 years. I first heard about her on the old newsgroup "ASS". Than she got on my case in SCSWC about my poor spelling or grammar. She got to number one in my fantasies list and remains at number one. I have seen all of her movies and some of her pictures. There is no doubt that she needs to be punished for some of the things she has done over the years. When Jan heard - "remember you have an appointment (some time/date" she knew she was in for a spanking. I sure miss the old days and wonder where the time went - Hal

  10. Hal -- good memory. Yes, he finally gave me a spanking on my 45th birthday. Seems like forever ago.

  11. Hi Erica -- The word's punish,spanking and get over my knee make me feel excited and my heart starts to race.But it would have to be said by the right person.Hugs from naughty girl Jade

  12. Jade -- absolutely, has to be the right person. :-)

  13. Great post. Powerful words and more powerful in real life when the dynamic between two people is there, like it is with you two.

  14. Craig -- thanks; yes, the dynamic is indeed crucial. :-)

  15. Another commonality. That word gets to me too. And when I have to be the one to say it, it can be really difficult but powerful.

  16. Beutiful post, Erica! Talkiong about dynamics: what do you think does it, if I may ask? The prospect of the punishment process? The way the word qualifies the relationship? ...?

  17. Lea -- it IS hard to say, isn't it!

    MrJ -- I'm not sure! There's just something about the sound of it, the associations with it. I don't find that the words "discipline" or "penalty" give me the same reaction, even though they are similar.

  18. I totally relate! I love the word "punish" perhaps even more than "spank" and it's derivatives. To me it speaks of a woman having to process intentional, deliberate pain.

    Best Regards,