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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

It's Thanksgiving Eve, so...

... I guess it's about that time of year to trot out this little guy, huh?


Ah, the holidays, where family dysfunction blooms like the everpresent poinsettias. John's siblings, being no exception, have all bailed on their mother for Thanksgiving, and John, being the Good Son, is the only one who cared about whether or not she had a place to be. So he called her facility and found out they are having a TG dinner, but residents had to have their place reserved. He did so, and made a reservation for himself as well so he could join her.

He asked me, perfunctorily, if I'd like to go with him, even though he knew the answer. Just to illustrate how much I don't want to be there, here's a partial list of things I'd rather do:

1. Chew on tin foil for a couple of hours.
2. Eat my way through a room full of cottage cheese.
3. Smear myself with honey and poke a beehive.
4. Watch a Three Stooges marathon.
5. Get figged.

I think y'all get my point.

I just can't do it anymore. A couple of weeks ago, I went with John to visit his mom. From the moment we walked in to the moment we left, she complained, and then begged us not to leave. I managed to hold on until we were out of there, and then I had a meltdown of epic proportions, crying so hysterically that I shook from head to foot. I told John I couldn't deal with this with my own mother, and I can't deal with it with his.

He finally got the message. Last weekend, he went to visit her without me.

Anyway, Thanksgiving. I do have a lovely invitation from Mr. D. He is having a big gathering at his house, 18 people, all family (mother, siblings and their kids, cousins, his own two teenagers, etc.). He said I was welcome to drop by anytime if I'd like to.

That's very sweet of him and I appreciate it. But I told him no, thank you. How is he going to explain my presence? "This is my... um... friend." How do we answer the inevitable barrage of "How do you two know one another?" And let's not forget how I don't do too well in throngs of people I don't know. I suck at small talk. I'd probably do the typical Erica thing, go within and just sit and smile. And eat way too much to keep occupied. All the while, I'd be wishing Mr. D and I could abandon the whole crowd, go off by ourselves and play.

Teenagers are quite worldly these days. His kids will take one look at me and as soon as I leave, it'll be a chorus of "OK, Dad, so who is she, hmmm?" They'll probably think I'm some sort of FWB. If only they knew!

It's nice to have choices, though. So tomorrow, when I spend the day quietly by myself, it's because I choose to. I have some work to do. I have The Artist on Netflix and To Kill a Mockingbird recorded from TCM. I will avoid the traffic, the pre-Black Friday idiots making their pilgrimages to Walmart. It will be peaceful and quiet here, and I can reflect on things I'm thankful for. And when I wake up Friday, it won't be with a food hangover.

So, all cynicism aside -- to my American friends, have a wonderful Thanksgiving, whatever you do. I hope you will be exactly where you want to be, doing what your heart desires. And if you're not... hold on tight, breathe deep and think about an intense, soul-melting spanking. You'll smile, and your grumpy relatives will wonder what that's all about.

22 comments:

  1. Nice ending thoughts my dear, love it and that is pretty much my life, miserable day but I let my mind wander. Being with my kids is wonderful the rest, well, ugh!

    Soul-melting spanking, that is what it is all about.
    Happy Thanksgiving/
    Always
    Ron

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  2. Ron -- well, at least you enjoy your kids. That's something. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Absolutly!

      Soul-melting. love that phrase
      Always
      Ron

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  3. Erica,

    I'm so sorry it's been so difficult with John's mom. My grandmother was in a nursing facility before she passed because she had a series of strokes, and I hated going there.

    This Thanksgiving is gonna be a little funky for me too. I might see my brother whom I haven't seen in 5 months (since that whole summer mess). He's on meds and doing better, but I'm sort of not ready to see him.

    Next year, you're more than welcome to join me for Thanksgiving! I cook, and I'm thinking that I might host my own without the fam. And even if it's with my Asian family, you won't have to worry about small talk because the Asians will smile and not know what to say to you. :) I'm completely 100% serious. I'll make your little decorative place card now. (And John is always welcome to join too!)

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  4. I will be at my MIL's home. Add water boarded to your list and that about sums up my feelings.

    I love To Kill a Mockingbird, it is one of my favorite books and movies.

    John is a terrific son. You are very lucky.

    Happy thanksgiving to both of you.

    Hug,
    joey

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  5. Beth -- if you do see your brother, you have my best thoughts. I know what a tough situation that is. And thank you for the invitation. You are the cutest! ♥

    joey -- I know this will make me sound awful, but sometimes I wish John weren't such a terrific son. His heightened sense of obligation and responsibility in a family that's never appreciated him makes me crazy.

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    1. No, it does not make you sound awful. You and my wife feel the same way. I have the same situation.

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  6. HAPPY SPANKSGIVING ERICA :-)I am not where i would like to be cause of a certain person,but i will think about what you said about the soul melting spanking and that will make me smile :-)That was a GREAT idea you had.You are in my thought's on Thanksgiving and alway's my very dear friend, much Love and hug's from naughty girl Jade xoxo

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  7. Jade -- I think about spanking when I'm stuck in an unpleasant place, like the dentist's chair. :-)

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  8. On your "Things I'd rather do list" If you filmed number 3 you would probably make a lot of money on Clips For Sale :)

    Prefectdt

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  9. Prefectdt -- ROFL!! I would have thought #5, not #3.

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    1. You can find loads of people being figged on the internet. Honey covered Beehive pokers are not so common.*

      Prefectdt

      *Please don't think that I am suggesting that you actually do this.

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  10. Erica, your day tomorrow sounds wonderful. I hate gatherings where I'm not the center of attention :):).

    Our older son is home from college. he and our younger son are jamming to their own music so it's not shaping up to be a quiet holiday, but I'm having great day. Tomorrow, it will be just us four and no other crazy family.

    Have a fantastic day!

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  11. Mick -- that's great! You two enjoy your kids and have lots of fun. :-)

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  12. What if the room was full of cottage cheese AND Peeps? ;-) Hope you enjoy your day with some downtime!

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  13. Lea -- ROFL! Actually, I could handle the Peeps. I wouldn't like them, but I'd manage them. But the mere sight of cottage cheese activates my gag reflex.

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  14. It sounds like you have the perfect evening planned out! I have spent many a Thanksgivings the same way, though I usually opt for a thematic marathon of some sort... I'm sorry things are so rough between you and John's family, but he's your family and that is a lot to be thankful for.

    Happy Thanksgiving! Perhaps you and Mr. D can celebrate your own Spanksgiving the next time you see each other!

    xo,
    SC

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  15. SC -- oh yes, I am very thankful for John. It would be nice if loving someone automatically meant you'd love their family too, but alas...

    I have to wait all the way until next Tuesday for Mr. D! Boooooo!

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  16. The day sounds pretty perfect to me. Enjoy.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  17. I look forward to Thanksgiving. We enjoy a small, but fun gathering with our in-laws. The food is great. I wish everyone could have a great day.

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  18. Somehow, Erica, I sense that 1-5 is NOT your preferred order of declining priority.
    Best wishes with your family concerns - good Thanksgiving to ye all across the big lake!

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  19. Ronnie -- I will, thanks!

    OBB -- glad to hear! Yes, in a perfect world, everyone would have a great holiday.

    MrJ -- yeah, I didn't write them in any particular order, just as they occurred to me. :-D

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