I tried to think of something different and original for this post, but you know what? CHoS is my signature piece. If I kept trying to come up with something I deemed special, it would probably end up sounding forced. So I'm going with an old favorite. Plus, this CHoS has an extra-special entry.
But first...
Hi my dear,
Love your beautiful body. I'm a lusty single guy with an absurdly strong libido & a desire to explore our wildest fantasy's. My work making your body quiver & reach your sexual peak comes from years of experience.. Wanna make it happen?
Thank you so much for the naked photo. I was particularly impressed with how your big soft belly hangs over your absurdly small dick.
Love the pixtures and if I could read I would know what to wright about.....
Please pick me!
It would make the world we live in all-right and all that is
good would reappear.
Please understand I have not a clue what to say here....
And I like to LOL around....hence the rambling.
Call me
[name and phone number deleted]
Ps I am much better o. The phone and even betted live and in
person. LoL
(groan) Well, at least he's spot on about being clueless. Ah, if only things were that simple, if picking him would make the entire universe all-right...er, all wright...I mean... Oh, forget it.
And now, here's a twist. This landed in my mailbox on Alt last week; a top writing with the express purpose of telling me off.
Wow. Your profile has been up and repulsivd for so long, I must respond. I'm a Dom. I don't need you. I teach and find hour disinterest in my work an insult. You "advertise" relentlessly. I find your consistancy and repetitve requests annoying. Things must just be going great for you since you're still here. I can meet your need and send you off, but damn, you need to expand ylur interests. Respond if interested.
So, I guess you won't be joining the Erica Scott Fan Club anytime soon?
I had questions, of course. My disinterest in his work? I don't know this guy; how would I have disinterest in his work?? So I checked out his profile. As one would expect, he's heavy into D/s and protocol, and claims to specialize in "teaching and training subs and fledglings" and helping them fully realize their desire to serve. Ah, now I get it. In my profile, I stress that I am a bottom, not a sub, and while I love confident and toppy men, I have no interest in masters, daddies, teachers or trainers. The poor dear egomaniac took that personally, it seems.
And after that mini-tirade, he tells me to respond if interested? Right. Because I'm that masochistic; I want to play with someone who thinks I'm repulsive and annoying.
John suggested that I write back to him, being unfailingly polite, which would completely bamboozle him. I agree that could be fun, but it's just not my style. I did absolutely nothing; I didn't respond at all. I figured that would piss him off the most. :-)
HOWEVER...
Here's what I would love to write back to him:
Dear Uber-Dom Fathead,
Yup, I'm still here. I met my current play partner, and my last partner before him, on here. So yes, things really are going great for me, thanks.
I guess things are going equally great for you, since you took the time in your busy training schedule to write to someone you find so repulsive.
Expand my interests? To what, may I ask? Being a human doormat? Nah. My interests are just fine as they are. I figure if they annoy the likes of you, I must be on the right track.
Honey, you couldn't meet my need on your best day. You wouldn't have any idea how to deal with a woman with a brain and a voice. Go back to your fledglings and rule your pathetic little roost, your mindless masses. And really, if you find my profile so offensive, please stop viewing it. I know you have better things to do. :-)
Think I made my point?
I still can't believe I've written 500 posts on here already. To all my friends and readers, thank you. You guys keep me going; without you, I'd just be typing into cyberspace, the 21st-century of talking to myself. Thanks for cheering on my adventures and joys, and for putting up with all my cranky commentary. Here's to the next 500!
Have a great weekend, y'all.
Erica, congratulations on your 500th post. May it be sooner, than later, that it reaches the 1000th mark. Like me, both of us did not win that BIG LOTTERY, the other day. But to me you will always be a WINNER. XXX lots of Luv.
ReplyDeleteSix -- thank you. I do feel like I won the spanking lottery, sometimes. :-)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on 500! That is a lot for someone who REALLY has something to say/add in the world of spanking. Thank you for being a real and honest person and please continue what you are doing. Seeing the spanking "process" from an INTELLIGENT woman's point of view is a real treat for me and I am sure for many more. Ignore specimens like above mentioned...I agree it's the best thing to do.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
I LIVE for your cranky commentary. In some ways we're very much alike personality wise. I actually skipped applying for a job which among many requirements I HAVE it asked for a "pleasing personality". LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy 500th!!! I HOPE your next spanking is issued with 500 swats per EACH implement. :) Since I'm compassionate I would recommend them delivered with varying intensities. :)
sssspank -- thank YOU! Is this your first time commenting? Welcome. I'm glad there are those who find my ramblings to be a treat. :-D
ReplyDeleteKelly -- 500 with each implement? Are you @#$%ing KIDDING ME?? Do you know how many implements there are, between Mr. D and me? Forget sitting; I probably couldn't walk for weeks. :-)
Pleasing personality? Oh, for Christ's sake. What happened to just doing your damn job and doing it well? You're not there to socialize!
Actually, if you got 500 swats with every implement, applied at different times, it wouldn't be so bad, now would it? And, if it was fairly light, it could be done. :-)
ReplyDeleteI love your blog! Even when you are cranky. You are real. You are intelligent. You are beautiful.
And it is raining like crazy right now. You would love it.
Here's to another 500 blog posts!
Bobbie Jo -- yeah, right. Try telling Mr. D to go "fairly light." I can just hear him now. "Can't take it, huh? What is this, Amateur Hour?" (snort)
ReplyDeleteThanks, sweetie! And yes, I am loving the clouds and drizzle here -- major rain expected over the weekend.
Happy 500, Erica!
ReplyDeleteYou have a knack for attracting the truly elite morons. They don't stop at the usual subject-verb agreement issues or plural/possessive confusion. No, these clods strive to continually spell the wrong word right and the right word wrong. Then, when we think we've read it all, comes the ultimate big left turn into complete incomprehensibility.
To quote the immortal Leonard Pinth-Garnell, "Ah, putrid!"
Hugs,
Bonnie
One of your many talents is your ability to attract Uber-Dom after Uber-Dom. You really need to share them with your sisters. Gift wrap one for Bacall, stand back and watch the show.
ReplyDeleteYou have 500 interesting posts. We have almost twice as many not so interesting posts. And so it goes.
Bonnie -- ROFL!! Oh, I remember Leonard Pinth-Garnell, and that tinkling off-key music that would introduce his segments. Back when SNL was funny (yes, children, there really was such a time, back in the last century).
ReplyDeleteOBB -- apparently my non-sub stance annoys them to no end. I don't know why they don't simply pass me by instead of commenting, but hey, more CHoS fodder! :-D
Darn it! I wrote a comment and I think my phone ate it. :(
ReplyDeleteHappy 500th! That's quite a milestone. I love your blog and hope there are many many more posts to come.
It never ceases to amaze me how "challenged" some people on the Internet can be. Ugh. To think that's what's out there? Scary... I'm just glad you let it roll off like water off a duck's back.
Beth -- most of the time, I do. I admit, that last guy's missive ticked me off at first. Then I calmed down and realized what a pathetic little twit he is.
ReplyDeleteHey, did you see that your Disneyland weekend got Chrossed? :-D
YAY CONGRATS ON POST #500 ERICA :-)I alway's enjoy reading your post's you alway's make me giggle and put a smile on my face in my darkest of hour's thank you so much :-)Did you get the email i wrote you this morning? I don't know if it went through or not.Much Love and hug's from Naughty Girl Jade PS that Dom need's a swift kick in the arse HEHEHE LOL
ReplyDeleteJade -- I did get your email; I'll answer it before I leave. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Erica. Look up "disinterest" sometime. This guy actually is completely disinterested (he just doesn't know it). Peter Riley
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on reaching 500!
ReplyDeleteI met a guy recently (twice for coffee and talk. Your mystery man sounds a lot like this guy I met....
During the second meeting he asked me about my likes and limits. I couldn't really respond right then because there was virtually no privacy at the coffee house, but I did agree to email them to him. I don't know why I bothered, since there were red flags up all over the place! He mentioned several times that his partner's pleasure was not much of an issue for him, as the experience is "all about me" -- totally ego driven. Nearly a week later I received his response. "This isn't going to work out. Good luck!"
He refused to acknowledge the difference between being a bottom and being a sub. Thank god I never let him spank me!
I loved your hypothetical response to Mr Uber-dom. What a jerk he is!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on 500 posts. Here's to the next half K.
Hugs,
Hermione
Peter -- if he's so disinterested, then why did he waste his precious training time? :-) People are strange.
ReplyDeleteDana -- his partner's pleasure isn't an issue?? Good luck to him.
Hermione -- right? I figured he was a good spotlight for #500. :-)
Congratulations Erica. Thank you for so many fun posts.
ReplyDeleteHug,
Joey
"Explore our wildest fantasy's" what?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Happy 500, Erica! I know I've thoroughly enjoyed all the humor, horniness, heart and soul you've shared here!
Congrats on 500 posts! It seems that site has some winners if you've found Mr. D. and ST on there but damn, talk about finding diamonds in the rough!
ReplyDeleteErica, congratulations! I'm sure we are all (well except for a few eggheads, apparently) proud of you!
ReplyDeleteYou certainly deserve a reward of some kind, not necessarily tjogh potentially involving the number 500
joey -- thanks for reading them!
ReplyDeleteWolfie -- who are you calling horny? ;-)
Lea -- Right? I can't believe I found TWO diamonds in that slagheap.
MrJ -- I'll take 500 pieces of See's chocolate, distributed over the next year or so. :-D
I knew I could trust you!
DeleteErica,
ReplyDeleteCongratulations for your 500th blog post and hope you continue to have more. I admit even though I'm more of a lurker I just seem to enjoy reading your blog.
Congratulations again,
Milt
Milt -- I'm glad you enjoy. Hope all is well and back to normal where you are!
ReplyDeleteAmazing my dear....honestly I found it cleansing but also hyterical....loved it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the honesty and happy 500!
Amazing blog from an amazing lady
Always
Ron
Ron -- thank you. :-)
ReplyDeleteMy absolute pleasure, you are just wonderful.
DeleteThanks
Ron
Congratulations on 500 posts and thanks for the laugh, Erica! Here's to the next 500. :-)
ReplyDeleteKaelah -- thank you! You know I love to make people laugh. :-)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Erica! Sometimes I can't believe how careless can be when trying to make a first impression...but then I remember that 100 is the *average* IQ... not a low one. But one positive to the endless supply of dolts is that they will continue to provide the entertainment.
ReplyDeleteCongrats once again, and I look forward to following you on your journey! :)
xo,
SC
SC -- sometimes I wonder if it's less a matter of IQ and more of thoughtlessness, or their parents doing a lousy job in teaching manners? I mean, aside from the ones that can't put a sentence together properly, a lot of them are plain clueless.
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