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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

No rants tonight :-)

It's late. I'm so sleepy. But I must blog before I crawl into bed. My night won't be complete without it.

I had a lovely, peaceful, rainy weekend with John, with lot of cloudy-weather snuggling and relaxing. And today, I was so looking forward to seeing Mr. D. Not because I needed stress release -- not this time. Simply because I wanted to see him. Because I wanted those wonderful hands on me.

Of course, he'd read Friday's rant, including what I'd said about the critiques regarding his techniques, the panties staying up, etc. This guy doesn't seem to be fazed by anything; he just laughed. I'm glad this nonsense doesn't bug him -- one of us getting freaked out is enough! "Is there a rulebook I don't know about?" he asked. "Who said the panties always need to be down?" I shrugged. "It's not a rule; it's just sorta traditional, I guess."

"OK then, tonight, they're coming down," he said. "We have to keep the masses happy, after all."

Then he snickered. "I ought to take a Sharpie and write something on your butt when we're done." I sat upright, giggling my head off. "Do it! Go for it!"

"Really??" "Yes!"

"All right, then. Come here, you."

I have grown very fond of the phrase "Come here, you." :-)

Warmup was long and thorough and lovely. I didn't feel like being a smartass tonight; I just melted into it from the get-go. I was already zoned out when we moved to the bedroom (and to the implements). Tonight's selection was his riding crop, my Cane-iac strap and lexan paddle.

Everything is a blur, as I try to recall the special moments. I guess I just loved it all, even at the end when I was struggling.

Oh, I do remember one moment: I kicked him in the head.

It was an accident! He was leaning over me on the bed, and my errant left foot, the one that always kicks the hardest, shot up and I felt my heel clunk his head. Aagggh! Good thing I was barefoot, or I would have concussed him!

He took it in stride, though. Didn't miss a beat. Not a single one of many, many beats. Until I was whimpering "please." Then he stopped, and sat by my head, stroking my hair and neck. I crawled closer and put my head on his thigh.

I wasn't crying, and didn't think I was going to this time. But then he started saying the words I never tire of hearing, the ones that reach right inside and tug on my heart. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you; you're safe, I'll take care of you." Then my tears flowed and dampened the leg of his jeans. I so need that reassurance. I wish I didn't, but I do.

I told him I feel, before I see him, like I'm all sharp corners and brittle exterior, shot through with tension. Then he breaks me... breaks me down, breaks apart all the hardness. And then his aftercare puts me back together again. Softer, more pliant, calmer, blissful.

It's a good kind of breaking. Exquisitely painful and pleasurable breaking.

Oh! Almost forgot about the Sharpie.




Well, are you? :-D

I know I am.

It's now 1:40. I'm practically comatose. But, like an excited child, I don't want to go to sleep. I don't want the evening to end.

I can practically feel the warm hand smoothing back my hair, and the calm voice whispering, "Sleep, honey. There will be so many more wonderful evenings."

And so I will listen. Good night...

27 comments:

  1. A)Yes, Erica and Mr D, I am VERY happy! Especially as you two are happy with your special sort of relationship, and don't show any signs of wanting to stop, (or stop blogginb about it in Erica's case, which I've become sorta addicted to!) and routine is very important to folks like me and Erica.

    B)Anyone who says Mr D isn't caring enough, hasn't read this blog. I remember the earliest posts from when you and Mr D were first meeting, and Mr D would reply to the blog, just to remind you that he wasn't going anywhere and he would see you next week. That was so SWEET of him! A girl could melt about the little things like that.

    C)You're ALLOWED to need reassurance. It's a NORMAL part of experiencing the pain that comes when the people you form emotional attatchments with leave your life, for any reason. An abandonment phobia is also a fairly normal symptom, even though some people would say that if the people who have left your life died, then they didn't abandon you, since abandonment implies the choice to leave, and you're being irrational.

    Fuck the lot of 'em, I say! (the critics, and anyone who walks out on you without a life-altering event as trigger. (Cross country moves and getting a new partner who isn't comforable with part of the lifestyle are hard to cope with for the one left behind, but can't really count as abandonment, cause they're kinda unavoidable--sorry about the ST reference!)).

    THEY don't deserve YOU, and don't you forget it!

    Uh, sorry about any spelling or grammar errors. My eyes suck, as I'm sure you remember.

    Lots of Love

    Terri

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    1. P.S. I was always happy anyway, cause frankly I don't see any point in rules or traditions that have to be rigidly followed. I believe in reasonable exploration and occasional surprises, so long as they REMAIN WITHIN the already established limits. And all of your blog posts about Mr D HAVE.

      So yes, I'm VERY happy. And panties up or down, (or non-existent!) implements used or not, mild bondage or lack of mild bondage, or whatever the hell happens, so long as you and Mr D are happy, I will be too, cause part of my happiness springs from yours, and the rest from my semi-voyeuristic (I think reading your blog counts as that?) observation of your euphoria.

      OK, I think I'm done now. Sorry about that

      Delete
  2. Erica,

    It seems like a perfect way to spend your time together...I'm sure you got a well deserved night of rest!

    xo,
    SC

    PS A++ to Mr. D for his penmanship!

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  3. I was going to praise his penmanship, but I see SpankCake beat me to it. With all your exercise, I am would bet your bottom is firm and that would aid in making the letters straight.

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  4. Mr D has a great sense of humour! Loved the picture.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  5. Erica,

    Terrific post. I am glad that you had a perfect evening with Mr. D.

    I am sure you are happy now.

    Hug,
    joey

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  6. I'm so glad you have the assurance you need with him. And I LOVE his cute Sharpie artwork aimed at the "critics."

    The lunge/squat class you take it it canceled this week? And do you so those moves any other days on your own?

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  7. When I first read the words inked on your bottom I thought it was "Happy Hour" and then realized my mistake, lol. But perhaps "Happy Hour" would be equally fitting. So happy for you that this thing with Mr. D is working out for you! He sounds divine.... ;-)

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  8. Thanks so much for sharing. Always enjoy hearing of your evenings.

    Love the the photo aimed at those Up/Down Panty Traditionalists. But be prepared for those who believe the Sharpie should be red. You know they are out there.

    Jon

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  9. Terri -- please don't be sorry. I appreciate your thoughts. I do have a terrible abandonment/rejection complex, one that's been with me for as long as I can remember. It's one of the reasons I go to the opposite extreme and am so fiercely independent -- I don't want to be needy. Neediness sucks the life out of people. But Mr. D has given me a safe haven where I can need all I wish.

    SC -- I did keep perfectly still, so that helped! :-D

    OBB -- I do my best to provide a firm surface! lol

    Hermione -- he was so tickled that I was game for that. But you know me, anything for an attention-getting novelty.

    joey -- I am still drifting in my bubble today, and loving it.

    Kelly -- my Wednesday evening class is not canceled. Of course, my Thursday class is. I do sometimes exercise at home -- there is a treadmill in our laundry room and I have some free weights.

    Dana -- he is. I still can't believe he came along when he did.

    Jon -- LOL! Oh no. Well, such is life, I don't have a red Sharpie.

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  10. Well keep finding you Erica .The spanking you describe and the words Im still still here for you hunney ! Im a mistrusting ol gal .. how long do they stay around before find fresh "bums", we would like to think they stick by us but male tops are fickle . Are we special to them ? I dont know .
    Its far less likely to be hurt emotionally as a Top in my opinion and experience ,in which case the guys need us more than we them . Maybe sons death has jaded me and killed that big part of me thats been wrenched out ...or maybe age has wearied me into Top mode ? xxx

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  11. Nicky -- we meet again. :-)

    Trust me, I share your cynicism. Especially after what happened this year. But a part of me still needs to believe. If I didn't, I'd just shrivel up within myself and die from the inside out.

    I am so, so very sorry about your son. Wasn't he the one who used to refer to me as "Ms. Scott"? Big hugs to you.

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  12. Sounds like a wonderful Evening. Loved the picture.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  13. Ronnie -- thanks. It was indeed. :-)

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  14. Hi Erica -- YOU AND MR.D ROCK :-)I am so happy that you have him as your top,Sound's like you had a Lovely session :-)I Love what he wrote on your bum it was VERY cute and funny :-)Much Love and hug's from naughty girl Jade xoxo

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  15. Jade -- thanks; I'm happy too. And happy that the Sharpie writing came off in the shower! :-)

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  16. Erica, Happy Thanksgiving Day. May your turkey taste as good as your "HOT SPANKED RUMP STEAKED BARE BOTTOM.

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  17. Six -- you have a happy one as well.

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  18. Your bottom is glorius and as I have stated, made for a nice long panty spanking, love your bottom in panties...so pull up those black ones.
    Always
    Ron

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  19. Ron -- there are lots of shots in panties. This one was just for the bare-bottom lovers. :-)

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  20. Hahaha, great picture! Sounds like a lovely way to end an evening.

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  21. Lea -- thanks! I've gotten a lot of mileage with it on FetLife. :-D

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  22. Ohhhhh, Erica, that one made me go weak!

    Hugs!
    Cindy

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  23. Cindy -- yeahhhhh, me too. :-)

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  24. The Sharpie® was developed by a man for other men to use creatively upon lovely female buttocks.

    I myself have done many a valentine heart, and butterfly, and once traced my handprint. I didn't turn it into a Thanksgiving turkey, although someone on Chross's list this week did. Which is brilliant! Wish I'd thought of it first. But I digress.

    Here in our little village of Amaspankya we have traditions for everything: when skirts come up, when panties come down, how to rip hose! You may ask, "How did these traditions get started?" I'll tell you... I don't know. But because of our traditions, every Top knows his biz and what the Bottom expects him to do.

    (Cue chorus)

    Very nice entry, Erica, thank you!

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  25. Wolfie -- that handprint turkey really WAS brilliant!

    You always make me giggle.

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