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Sunday, March 11, 2012

Of all the nerve!

So yesterday afternoon, I showed John the full Spanking Court final clip. He seemed to like this one the best of all; he kept cheering, chanting "Harder! Faster! Harder! Faster!" over and over, and he especially loved it when the Disciplinarian gave me the last 50 all on one cheek. "I love this! Can we watch it again? Can we?"

I rolled my eyes. "You can watch it all you want, if you'll just shut up!" He said we'd definitely have to give the neglected left cheek some attention. Yeah, yeah.

Later, we went to dinner at the local sushi place. We eat there about once a week; to say it's a small-town quirky place would be an understatement. It's tiny, run by one sushi chef who prepares everything, and he always has two or three young girls waiting tables for him. We've watched dozens of them come and go in the years we've been eating there; apparently, he's not much fun to work for and they always seem a bit nervous. So why do we eat there? Because despite the insanely erratic service and the semi-frequently screwed-up orders, the food is good. And John likes to support the businesses in his little town.

John suffers from migraine headaches. However, he is one of the lucky ones, if you can call a migraine sufferer lucky -- he feels them coming on early (his vision blurs), and he can always knock them down by ingesting anything with caffeine. So at the first sign, we immediately have to get either coffee, caffeinated soda or No-Doz into him. Time is of the essence.

So last night, we're sitting at our table when he got that telltale bleary, unfocused look in his eyes. Blinking, he ducked his head and mumbled, "I need caffeine." I knew what that meant.

Well duh, we were in a restaurant. Call the server over and ask for a cup of coffee, right? Not in this place! We've had to ask for water refills two and three times, usually. There was no such thing as getting anything "immediately" in this restaurant. And he didn't have any No-Doz on him.

I went on autopilot -- I snatched my wallet out of my purse, left our table and flew out the door. Outside, I ran two doors down to Happy's Liquor, grabbed a 20-oz bottle of Diet Coke, practically threw the money at the clerk and ran back to the restaurant, shoving the bottle into John's hands.

How ridiculous is this, being in a restaurant and yet having to run to a nearby liquor store to get a drink?? But it worked. He chugged the soda, and within minutes, his eyes cleared. A few minutes after that, we were served our food and he was able to eat just fine.

Back home later, I was at the bathroom sink washing my hands. John dashed in, snatched his hairbrush off the counter and started whaling away on my left butt cheek. "What are you doing?" I screeched.

"Getting that left cheek!"

"That's gratitude for you!" I hollered, trying to squirm away from him. "After I saved your evening!"

To this, my beloved quipped, "Who GAVE me the migraine in the first place?"

Well! You know, he's lucky he's so damn cute. Or I just might forget my bottom-only status and kick his ass from one end of town to the other. :-)


  1. "I just might forget my bottom-only status and kick his ass from one end of town to the other."

    roflmao.. now whom, pray tell, are you kidding with THAT line? LOLOLOL

    Way to go John! I do love a man who's into symmetry! LOL

  2. Zelle -- LOL! Well, normally I'm a stickler for symmetry as well. But this is ridiculous! It's symmetry four months after the fact, for Chrissake.

  3. Hi Erica-I am so glad that John's headache went away :-)I hate headaches.You and John are so funny hehehe LMAO :-) I agree with Zelle are you kidding with that line? hehehe LOL :-)I bet the hairbrush felt lovely.Much love and hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

  4. Jade -- Hmmm. "Lovely" is not the word that comes to mind. "Sucks" is more like it. :-)

  5. Hahahahaha! What an adorable story. You two are hilarious sometimes--and made for each other!

  6. I don't think I would return to a restaurant with service that bad. There must be other small, independent ones you can patronize in John's town.

    Why not pick up a pack of No-Doz next time you're out shopping, and keep it in your purse for John's emergencies, since he doesn't seem to be prepared. (Sorry, that's the wife in me coming out:)


  7. Hmph, maybe watching the television so much gave him his headache!! What gratitude! Yet, I have been faced with similar gratitude from my hubby. Tops - just can't win, cuz it's all a spankable offense! ;)

    We patronize our small town restaurants, and the service isn't always that great. We know and expect it going in, and the food is good. If John's town is anything like our town (under 2000 people!), there isn't too much else to patronize without going into the city (which we do as well). And the migraines - I always feel mine coming on to, and there is a window to intervene and treat it before it comes on full force (at which time, there is no doing anything but writhing in agony until it decides to recede)


  8. Lovely story. Interesting about John taking caffeine when he feels a migraine coming on. I'll have to mention that to P as he suffers from them and feels them coming on. Thanks Erica.


  9. Craig -- we're kinda cute in a demented sort of way, aren't we? LOL

    Hermione -- that's the plan! I'm buying No-Doz this week. As for the restaurant, it's the only sushi place in the town square. John is very attached to it; I've learned to accept it (and I do enjoy the food once we finally get it!). :-D

    Sarah -- exactly. The restaurant selection is quite meager. So we eat in the town proper one night and then go into the city on the other.

    Ronnie -- for whatever reason, the caffeine works with some migraine sufferers, but not with others. Tell P to try some Coke or coffee as soon as he feels the prodrome. Hope that will help!

  10. I guess John had to have some fun at your expense, LOL.

    I have to say, if I catch the kind of headaches I get right away with coffee or tea, I can avert it. I have a friend who drinks coffee when she feels a migraine coming on. It does work for some people.

    ST will have to even things up now AGAIN. Hehehe. Not that you really mind, of course. ;-)

  11. Bobbie Jo -- (snort) John has damn near ALL of his fun at my expense! :-)

  12. Ooh I hate getting all of it on one cheek! Now I want to go out for sushi.

  13. Lea -- just don't go to Mountain View in Sierra Madre! LOL