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Thursday, October 14, 2010

I found this amusing

My good old Hitachi wand "massager" finally bit the dust. I put "massager" in quotes because everyone knows that the usage of said device has absolutely nothing to do with massage. Anyway... didn't feel like paying top dollar at one of the local kitschy sex boutiques, so I did an online search. Found the best price at a site called Sexual Wellbeing, and they were having a 25% off special to boot. So I placed an order.

For whatever reason, my order was routed through, of all places. That was the return address on the box, even though the invoice was from Sexual Wellbeing. I opened the box, and there was my new little toy... and a trial-size tube of Colgate Pro Clinical whitening toothpaste.


Rather incongruous pairing, don't you think? Free toothpaste with every sex toy order! What's the message here? Perhaps because the toy will make me smile gleefully, they want to ensure that my smile is sparkly white.

Of course, it could be a more complex message. Maybe they're trying to tell me to take better care of my teeth so I won't have to spend so damn much money at the dentist. And then guess what? More money to spend on their sex toys!

Whatever. Printed at the bottom of the invoice is "This order was packed with care by Grace." Thank you, Grace.

Just look at that smile! Is it her toothpaste, or her Pocket Rocket?


  1. hahaahahhahahaha! Now that was funny!

    .. and my votes on 'pocket rocket'!

  2. Hi Erica,

    Q: How do you know if a redhead has been using your vibrator?

    A: Her teeth are chipped

    OK, it's a stupid gag, but it offers one possible connection.

    I *love* my Magic Wand. It's almost too intense sometimes. I would be heartbroken if it died. I'm glad you were able to replace this important essential.

    Have a great weekend!


  3. erica,

    thanx so much for a much needed laugh.

    you just have to wonder about the mindset of marketers.

    if i were doing the packing i'd have thrown in a free tube of K-Y jelly....that makes sense.

    alas....sense means less and less as the world turns around.

    hopeing to hear from you guys someday.



  4. Zelle -- mine too!

    Bonnie -- HAHA! Well, fortunately, these devices are replaceable, even though loved ones are not. :-)

    ddon -- you're right, that would have been a much more apropos freebie.

  5. Hello my Erica your so funny hehehe i am with you and Zelle my vote is on Pocket Rocket hehehe,the doctor used K-Y jelly on me during my test in August it feels gooey.i love you big hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

  6. Gotta keep those pearly whites in mint condition when it's time to romance
    "Mr." Hitachi. :)

  7. Perhaps Grace needs a lesson in where the Hitachi actually goes. Although she might be on to something...I've seen dildo attachments for it, but perhaps they make a toothbrush attachment?

    Talk about a happy mouth! :)

  8. Jade -- yeah, a little K-Y goes a long way. :-)

    Kelly -- hmmmmmm.... how DOES one romance a vibrator? ;-)

    pink -- ROFL! Along those lines, I've heard of people using electric toothbrushes downtown, but that's ridiculous. I mean, I don't have teeth down there. (scratching head)

  9. Oh, Erica... next you'll be getting the Robo-Spanker, or the Spankomatic. Which comes with a tube of caulk, I'm sure. White or black, depending on supply.

  10. Danny -- nooooooooo, honey. No machine can simulate an old-fashioned, hard-handed male spanker. :-)

  11. I think that Grace worries a lot about people. I think she worried that people forget things and does what she can to remind people of the important things in life. You are lucky that she did not include a warm vest or a clean pair of socks.
    Poor Grace. She does fret.

  12. I have to laugh every time I drive past a road construction site and see an enormous backhoe/steamshovel/giant machine with HITACHI printed on it in big bold caps. The ground vibrates when I pass by.

    On a related theme, before we lived together, Ron once gave me a corded electric shaver. It came equipped with many attachments, one of which was like a soft, rubbery cube. I told him in graphic detail what I used that particular attachment for, and he was quite embarrassed.


  13. Poppy -- indeed, poor Grace. Did she really think that I'd be so caught up in the throes of ecstasy, I'd forget to brush my teeth?

    Hermione -- and does the ground have a cigarette afterward?

  14. Hey, didja hear about the feller with the gleam in his eye? Bumped his elbow brushing his teeth! BaDaBOOM, ching!

    Only a *few* of us will remember that name brand, too bad for you youngsters, you missed a good yuk!

    Or, actually, no, you didn't, this entry was pretty giggle-inducing as it was, especially illustrated!

  15. I forgot to mention how lovely it is to read about a company doing things with Grace. Very few things are done with Grace these days. That may be because she is so evidently self-sufficient. And getting promotion dough from Colgate-Palmolive, too! Good for you, Gracie, and Goodnight!

  16. Dave -- (snicker) Technically, the toothpaste's name was Gleem. And yes, few will get that reference, as well as the "good night, Gracie" one. Never fear... I got it, and it's my blog, so isn't that all that really matters? :-D

  17. Um...that's not for your TEETH dear...

  18. Mine finally gave up, too ... after serving me faithfully for - I'm so not kidding - FIFTEEN YEARS. We bought it as a present for my mom for Christmas when I was 17. She said it was too intense to use on her back (my brother and I both tried not to giggle out loud), and she said I could have it. When I moved out at 18, I finally started using it for its REAL purpose, and about 2 months ago it made a Very Bad Sound. Which is just as well; it had already started to burn my thighs a little when used for too long. *sigh* I haven't the money to replace it.

  19. mss -- oh dear. Well, you know what? The Pocket Rocket works brilliantly and intensely, and it's much cheaper than the big massage wands. I shopped around online and found mine for about $14.