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Sunday, October 10, 2010

Calgon, take me away!

Remember those commercials, or am I hopelessly dating myself? Anyway, I don't need a fancy bubble bath -- I need a lobotomy.

Stressful weekend. Went to J's Saturday morning and found him even worse than he was last weekend. He looked so sick, it scared me, but he insisted he was more tired than anything else and we should go have some lunch.

Took him to get a bite to eat and then ran errands with him, at his insistence. He needed printer cartridges (of course, that couldn't wait) and he wanted to get his groceries too. It was 90+ degrees out, and he sat in my passenger seat, bundled up in his jacket and with his fur-lined trenchcoat wrapped around him. Still, we got the errands done and got him back home to bed.

Couple of hours later, he came staggering out of the bedroom, and the look on his face made my heart jump up to where my tonsils used to be. I will not detail what happened right after that. Suffice it to say it was dreadfully unpleasant for both of us.

Got him back to bed and collapsed on his couch, feeling like jumping into my car and fleeing. I'm not proud of that, but that's how I felt. Seeing him like this for so long was freaking me out. But I stayed.

Later, I went out to get myself some dinner and bring back something for him. Got him some miso soup, some Pepto-Bismol and a thermometer. He woke up for a little while, long enough for me to get some Pepto, some Tylenol and a bowl of soup into him. And some grapes. For whatever reason, he can't get enough grapes. Took his temp -- 101.5. Not as bad as it's been, but still up there, since his normal temp is low, around 97-point-something, just as mine is.

Slept on his couch -- well, tried to, anyway. He woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and then, sick as he was, he brought me blankets. I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't need them, I was already too hot -- just said thank you, and discreetly pushed the blankets back off after he went back to bed.

Today, I thought I'd get him squared away with a light lunch and then head home, but he said he was a little better and wanted to go out. Took his temp again -- Normal! Hallelujah! He wanted to take a shower, but when he first got in, he fumbled with the sprayer, dropped it and got water all over the bathroom floor. I knelt down to sponge it up and he snapped at me that I was doing it wrong and missing spots. Finally he yelled at me to stop, grabbed the sponge and did it himself. Then he apologized profusely for yelling at me.

He managed to eat his breakfast, albeit very slowly. He alternated between pulling on two jackets and then taking them both off, then putting them on again. At least the food didn't get his intestines in an uproar. Got him home and helped him prepare everything to bring to his office in the morning. Yes, he was going to work. He hasn't been exercising and he can barely eat, but he still goes to work. If he doesn't go to work, that means he's no longer among the living. So I made a list for him of things to remember, because in his febrile state he'd forget them otherwise. Once I'd done everything I could think of, I finally took off, leaving him to sleep and going home where I could get some sleep myself. He promised me that if he didn't start to turn around this week, he'd go back to Kaiser. It's been nearly a month.

Got about 2/3 of the way home and realized I left my overnight bag there. Turned around and went back. By the time I got back to his place, I was beyond frazzled. "Hey, you're not supposed to be in worse shape than I am," he joked. He insisted repeatedly that I had been wonderful this weekend and he couldn't have managed without me. I don't think I was wonderful... I was a nutcase. Where do people get the fortitude to be caretakers? I don't have it. I can't do a thing for my mother, and I'm not much better with J.

Still had to run errands, get my own groceries, and of course heading back from his place the second time, there was an accident and traffic came to a standstill. We all poked along at about 10-15 miles an hour, the setting sun blinding us.

Home, sweet home. Unpacked my stuff and fell into bed, and was out like a light for a little over an hour. Now, I'm catching up with email and enjoying the peace and solitude.

Tomorrow? Another dose of stress release. Thank goodness. It couldn't be more timely.

Yes, I know, I'm perverse and twisted. I'm looking forward to pain. But with this pain comes a blissful relief. My mind shuts off and my body sings and thrums with endorphin surge. If I'm addicted, then so be it. Spanking won't pickle my liver or fry holes in my brain. Or bankrupt me. As addictions go, it's quite innocuous. :-)

Hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend.


  1. Oh dear god.. poor J. Hells bells.. now I'm starting to feel hot one minute, chilled the next! (oh wait.. mine are hot flashes..) but I digress...

    I just hate that your dear sweet man has been so sick for so long. I also feel you're frustration.. with wanting to help but feeling very much like the "insignificant other" instead.

    I'm lousy when people get sick. I'm great when animals are ill. (why is that?) ..shrugs shoulders.. I'd be a horrible nurse. They patient might need orange juice and I'm in charge.. I'd open the door and throw in an orange. I suck at health care. I'm good at 'doting' when my man is healthy though. I get a terrible twinge of inadequacy when I don't (can't) deal with a sick relationship partner.

    So yes..
    The traffic! The Boyfriend! The sponging! The hot flashes!
    Calgon! Take me away!

  2. Bravo, Erica, for being so good to J. It can't be easy for either of you.

    Whaddaya mean, looking forward to pain is twisted and perverse? I think it's perfectly normal. And much better for your complexion too. Enjoy your stress relief!


  3. erica,

    you'll get an e-mail soon.

    good on you for all the tlc you give.

    enjoy yaur stress relief.

    hermione...i seny som stuff via youtube based on your profile. i have the devils own time with e-mail addresses on blog pages [ask erica & zelle] so it's quite possible you never got them.



  4. Hi Erica,

    I remember Calgon! I also recall those Nestea plunge ads, which given your weather seem equally applicable.

    Most men are terrible patients. Mine certainly is. I'm glad you were able to help J. Hopefully, he will recover soon.

    I definitely look forward to the pain sometimes. It releases my stress and clears my mental gridlock. For that wonderful relief, a sore bottom is a trade I happily accept.

    Have a great week!


    PS Forgive the deleted post. Another perfectionist, I had to edit myself.

  5. Zelle -- yet another reason I didn't want kids! I just don't have that wonderful soothing caretaker gene. I panic. "Get better already! You're scaring me!"

    Hermione -- you mean, it isn't twisted and perverse? (scratching head) See, I keep learning things.

    ddon -- thanks. :-)

    Bonnie -- yes, the Nestea plunge. FetLife has a group for those of us who grew up in the 50s and 60s; lots of reminiscing about classic commercials! LOL... I do understand the self-editing need, so no wories.

  6. You did all of the right things by just being accessible to J. He knows your stand on nursing and surely loves you all the more for your efforts.

    I am basically helpless for others in physical need of assistance, I try to make up by making others laugh, allowing them to vent, etc.

    As for spanking pain, there is NO better welcome sensation for stress relief as far as I'm concerned. Remind me of that 2 weeks from tomorrow and then again on November 23! :)

    Enjoy your much needed spanking.

  7. Hello my Erica you did great taking care of J he must of been so greatful for your help, i hope he feels better soon he has been sick for along time, a spanking is good stress relief i can't wait to hear about your spanking adventure from tonight.i am not good at helping anyone that is sick, i need someone to take care of me because of my health and problems.i love you big hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

  8. Kelly -- this is why I will never get married. I can handle the "in health" part just fine, but not "in sickness."

    Jade -- thanks; I too hope he feels better soon. Then he can come visit me in the loony bin. :-)

  9. Sometimes I can be verbose, but in this case, all I've gotta say is: Ugh!

  10. Craig -- yeah, that about sizes it up.