Correspondence Hall of Shame, 10/29

Been a while, hasn't it? I don't have too many offerings, but I couldn't let Halloween weekend pass without a few frights.

hi mayb we get to know eachother??

Or mayb not.

This one was from a 19-year-old:

I think you are super hot.
Can we fuck?

Well, I know I can, and I suppose you can too. Oh, you mean with each other? No chance, Junior.

You're 19!!! Why on earth are you propositioning a 53-year-old? Can you even count to 53?

A comment on one of my FetLife photos:

well trained, i must say !

Excuse me? Really?? Do I look like a @#$%ing circus seal to you? Train this, pal.

I looked up his profile; he's one of those uber-Dom types with "Master" in his name. Here's my question -- if he's so masterful, why is he writing in all lower case, including "i"? :-D

And this week's favorite:

I am 6'3, 275, D/D free, non drinker, non smoker, THICK, long lasting and can cum multiple times if the feelings right

Ummmm... good for you?
Let me get this straight: You're just one inch taller than my boyfriend, yet you weigh about 100 pounds more than he does? I'll say you're THICK. Sorry, dude. I'm not into guys whose necks are bigger around than my thigh.

Here's a follow-up on the guy who posted that comment about "older butts" on my FetLife photo earlier this week. I decided to reply with this:

Please tell me that my eyesight is failing me -- someone didn't actually post the words "older butts" on one of my photos, did they? No one could be that clueless... right?

He then wrote:

Ok, vintage butts is a better term....my bad

Oh yeah, that's much better. I'm not old... I'm vintage! (rolling eyes) And you're not stupid, you're brain-cell deficient.

What else is going on... For those who have been asking about J (and thank you for that), he spent 2 1/2 hours with his doctor yesterday. She took blood, x-rays, asked him all sorts of questions. She thinks he may have some sort of low-grade infection that is keeping him sick all this time, but she wanted to wait to see what the various tests yielded before she threw antibiotics at him. So... we wait. Meanwhile, he's functioning. The good news is, she isn't worried about his weight loss. He's thin, but he's not underweight and his BMI is good. She told him don't try to force calories, just try to eat enough now to maintain his weight until he gets his appetite back.

I think this has scared him; it sounds like he's ready to make some lifestyle changes, cut his work hours, get more sleep. I just hope the resolve doesn't disappear once he feels better... but I can't worry about that now. I have to stay in the present and hope for the best.

Meanwhile, I had my first experience with cryotherapy yesterday -- I had a benign thing on my face sprayed with liquid nitrogen, which freezes the growth and kills it. Not for the squeamish, folks. The treatment causes an ugly, swollen blister before it heals and sloughs off. So now I have a band-aid on my face so others don't have to look at this icky thing. Perhaps I'll take it off on Sunday and go out and scare small children. (OK, it's not that bad.)

Here's the insult to injury. This thing on my face has a fancy name: Seborrheic Keratosis. I did a little research on it, and found that an alternate name for it is "senile wart." In other words, it's a benign growth that older people get.

And now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go open a vein. Have a great Halloween weekend, y'all.