Well now... what have we here?

Yesterday in my bedroom, I caught sight of something peeking out from underneath the bed. I knelt down to take a look.

Well, looky here. Recognize this?

Not familiar? Hmmm.

Recognize it now?

Thought you might. It's ST's paddle, one he made with his own two hands. Not super-thick/thuddy like the frat style I hate, but it packs a wallop nonetheless.

So. Let's ponder upon how angelic I am. I could have kept quiet about this and let him wonder. Let him discover it's missing but not say a word. Perhaps he dropped it out of his bag somewhere. Perhaps there's been a rash of theft in Encino, a kinky burglary ring stealing spanking implements. Or perhaps I accidentally mistook it for a piece of scrap lumber (you know, those turn up in my bedroom all the time) and tossed it into John's fireplace.

But noooo. I am here admitting to the world that I found it, that I'm keeping it safe for him next Monday. I think I should be rewarded for my honesty. Don't you?

On another topic...

Feeling a bit blech today. Fallout from yesterday, I guess. On the plus side, I had a lovely lunch with Mija at Canter's Deli -- we sat for three hours and yakked away. But on the minus side, I feel like I lost a friend yesterday, due to circumstances completely beyond my control. Scene drama, one I'm not involved in, but a friend is, and I got unintentionally and unwillingly sucked into the vortex.

John said I did nothing wrong. I know, intellectually, that I didn't, but it feels like I did. I hate it when people are angry at me, won't talk to me. It kicks in all those old rejection/abandonment issues that have dogged me since the early days when my mother would punish me by ignoring me and refusing to speak to me. I'd chase after her and cry, begging her to talk to me. Stupid, stupid old crap. But it's real.

The down side of being involved in any community. Wherever there are people, there is drama. This is why I choose solitude so often.

Plus, John had a horrendous day at work yesterday and vented to me. Naturally, I wish I could fix things and make it all better for him, and I can't. I hate that he's so stressed out. But I remembered this morning that this time last year, he was deathly ill, and now, at least he is healthy and robust, albeit exhausted. Perspective. Could be worse.

Days like this, I really do wish I had some work to do. Occupy my nattering brain on something productive.

Sorry for meandering. I will feel better after I go kick some butt at the gym. It's about 100 degrees outside... at least my A/C is working.

Oh my... you SHOULDN'T have...

Being that today was Valentine's Day and I was getting my Valentine spanking, I dressed up for New Guy, with stockings and red garter belt, and another red dress (I have three of them. Just like LBDs, you can't have too many LRDs, either.) He showed up on at my door, all smiles, bearing a sweet bouquet of white daisies and red carnations.

And a heart-shaped paddle. A wooden heart-shaped paddle. Which he made himself, just for me.

Talk about confusing. On the one hand, I was quite tickled and touched at his efforts on my behalf. But on the other hand, the phrase, "Oh my, you shouldn't have" was quite apropos!

Guaranteed not to break, he crowed. Oh, joy. Wouldn't want that little @#$%er breaking, would we?

So here's the "before" picture, happy me with my flowers and my, er, special gift:

He was hoping he could get a perfect red heart on one of my butt cheeks. But alas, the paddle was too large (or my butt is too small) to get that imprint. He tried his best, though. Oh, did he try. But he settled for overall RED. Big of him. :-)

He used his other old faithful paddle too, and two straps. I was in feisty mode tonight and I couldn't seem to stop giggling or being snide. When he referred to himself as an evil genius, I said he was half-right.

Ouch.

When he stopped, I tried to catch my breath, and he knelt down and smiled into my face. Or was it a smirk? I couldn't tell. I glared back at him, then, very quietly and deliberately, said, "You bastard."

That was good for another round, until I said I was sorry. Then he piled all four implements onto the coffee table, saying he'd leave them within reach in case I needed a refresher later.

After we relaxed and chatted for a while, he left to use the restroom. I immediately whisked the implements off the table and shoved them under the couch.

Hey, I thought it was funny. But my glee was short-lived, as he put me back over the ottoman and fished another weapon of a#$ destruction out of his bag. "Where are they?" he asked.

"They got bored and left!" I hollered.

"You better get 'em back, then," he said, and laid into me with whatever the hell that thing was, until I gave up and crawled over to the couch, retrieving the four hidden toys.

I got ten hard ones with all four, rapidly, no break in between each one. Holy moly.

"You going to hide my implements ever again?" "NO!" "I guess that wasn't the best idea, huh?"

Guess not.

OK, so I sorta kinda maybe asked for that. But really. Tops can be so damned mean, giving us consequences for our actions. Humpph.

I did get some sweet aftercare with lotion and snuggles, though.

And remember the "before" picture? Usually when you see a "before" picture, you know an "after" picture is coming, right?

Here ya go.

Did I have a happy Valentine's Day? You be the judge. :-)

Will it last?

Next Monday, I will be in Connecticut. Therefore, I won't be able to see New Guy. He was very concerned about this; wanted to make sure I would be well-behaved for the next two weeks, especially on my trip. So tonight, he came over at 5:00 instead of 6:30, since he'd had the day off. Had to get an early start on two weeks' worth of discipline, you see.

First, he was annoyed with me when I said I wouldn't have room in my suitcases for warm, bulky clothes, what with all the outfits I have to pack. "I'm going to be indoors, for heaven's sake," I argued.

"You don't know that," he countered. "Maybe there will be outdoor shoots. Maybe he'll have you out in the snow, making snow angels. Only in your case, they'll be snow devils." Oh, har har har. He said he'd been out naked in the snow before, after a sauna. I told him he was insane. Not the best thing to say to him, apparently. I had to apologize. Repeatedly.

"I care about you and I don't want you to be cold!" (sigh) All right, all right. I'll bring warm socks, PJs, gloves and a cap, and I'll wear my heaviest coat on the plane. OK? OK.

That was one spanking.

Since neither of us had eaten, we decided to go to a nearby deli for dinner. But not before he spanked me again to ensure I'd behave myself in the restaurant. I had to repeat several times, to strap strokes: "I will behave myself at Jerry's Deli." Well, actually, we compromised. I said that I would TRY to behave.

Of course, I didn't. He took so freaking long deciding what he was going to order, I stretched out on the booth, put my legs up, leaned against him and said I was taking a nap.

I know he was dying to let me have on the way back to the car, in the parking lot. But there were too many people around, unfortunately, so he settled for quickly bending me over the trunk and giving me three swats over my dress. I drove us back to my place, and I'd barely gotten inside and put my purse down when I was looking at the carpet again. The umbrage -- after I treated him to dinner!!

We watched a clip on my computer, the one I did for Spanking Epics a few years ago with Keith Jones and Sierra Salem, where he plays my husband and spanks Sierra and me for gossiping. When it ended...guess what? Yeah, that's right.

"That was wrong of you to gossip!" he said, putting me back over the ottoman.

"Excuse me??" I howled. "That was shot five years ago. And it was fiction! You're spanking me for fiction!"

"Maybe, but this spanking isn't fiction!" Arrrggh. No, it certainly wasn't.

How many are we up to now?

He just wouldn't put that @#$%ing paddle away. I asked him how he expected to keep his hand strong if he kept relying on the paddle.

"I don't need to keep my hand strong if I have the paddle," he smirked. "I can let the paddle do all the talking."

"Yeah, it's probably more articulate than you are," I muttered.

And that was another one. Yeah, yeah, I know. I asked for it. I still laughed through all my screeching and protesting.

But all Monday evenings must end, and reluctantly, I sent him on his way at 9:00 so he could go home and walk his dog.

Will it tide me over for two weeks? Nahhhhhh. But it certainly was a valiant effort. :-)

(smooch) See you in two weeks, sweetie.