Thoughts on photo blogs

First, the disclaimer: I mean absolutely no offense to anyone who runs a photo blog. Some of my friends have photo blogs that are adjuncts to their regular blogs, and that's fine. These are simply my observations and opinions, and I welcome yours, as I'm curious about what others think.

Is it my imagination, or is it true that practically every time I log on, there's a new spanking-oriented photo site in the blogrolls? Pictures, pictures, pictures. No words. No stories. Oftentimes, not even a reference as to the origins of the photos. Just photos, one after another after another, every day, all over the place.

Can these really be considered a blog? Isn't a blog a web journal? Doesn't that imply that writing and creative expression is involved? Where is the creativity in copying and pasting pictures?

Please don't misunderstand me -- I love pictures. I post plenty of my own. But they are always accompanied with writing, a background, a setup. They have a story. They are not there just for the sake of being there.

Granted, I am female, and according to the gender cliches, we are not as visual as males are. But really, how many pictures can you look at before it all becomes redundant? One trend I notice is that the same pictures make the rounds of many of the photo blogs. Click on one blog, there it is. Click on another, there it is again. Posted and reposted. And reposted again.

You don't even get to read interesting comments on these photo blogs. All you see are lists of people who liked them or reposted them.

Again, where is the creativity? I am old school, I guess. I like the written word. I like to read someone's thoughts and feelings.

Also, in some of the so-called spanking photo blogs, the photos have nothing to do with spanking. They are simply cute young girls with their butt to the camera. That's not spanking. And this is my own personal distaste, but I'm really, really getting tired of seeing the straight-on, spread-open kitty and back door shots. Jeeezus.... if I click on a blog looking for a spanking picture, I don't want some woman's hoo-ha in my face, so close up I feel like a damn gynecologist. Sure, there are glimpses of private bits in spanking pictures. But I'm talking blatant display here.

Even though there are thousands, perhaps millions of pictures out there, you're going to get repeats when so many people are posting them. Am I the only one who finds this boring?

Granted, not all the photo blogs are created equal. Some are more varied, some have a particular theme, etc. I didn't want to name names in this post, but I'd like to call attention to one photo blog I find exceptional -- At a Kinky House. Not just a spanking photo blog, but an exploration of kinky romance with gorgeous pictures.

What are your thoughts? Photo blogs, yea or nay? What do you like about them? What do you dislike? If I could make only two suggestions to the photo bloggers, I'd choose these: 1) credit the photos whenever possible, and 2) find some variety, please. Don't just copy and paste something that's already been on a dozen other blogs.

Again, I mean no offense, and I am not anti-photos. I just don't want to see the death of writing; it's already being tortured by text-speak and crappy grammar.

Regarding last night's flame war...

I will not have this. Is that clear? Jesus -- I go to sleep, silly me, and I wake up to this mess. Haven't had this blog for two weeks and already I have a flame war. Welcome to Blogspot, Erica.

I should have known that a controversial topic such as the one I posted was risky, but I thought people could handle it, and for the most part, they did.

Anonymous -- your original point could have been well taken, if you hadn't degenerated into insults. My original point was not disparaging F/M -- it was merely saying that I, Erica, cannot watch it. It's how I feel and it's my damn blog. I never said anything directly nasty about men who bottom; I kept it to my own feelings and expressed that I wished I felt differently, but it is what it is and we all have our preferences.

KinkyAG, who is a male bottom, chimed in with his thoughts, but he was perfectly civil about it, and I appreciated that greatly. You, not so much. There was a way you could have made your points without attacking and being so nasty. Please don't do it anymore. Has Zelle no shame? Yes, she does. I know her, have met her, and she is a person of high quality, intelligence and compassion. So knock it off with the insults to her.

I will not get into a he-said-she-said fest here. I will simply restate my personal rules: Comments are to be civil. No flame-throwing. No attacking each other. And no cross-talk. If you guys have an argument with one another, take it elsewhere. Take it to email. Take it to carrier pigeon; I don't care. This is not an open forum, this is a blog.

Zelle and Lorraine, I'm sorry you two were attacked. But next time something like this happens (and it will, I'm guessing), please alert me. I monitor my comments closely and if I feel that something is insulting or inflammatory, I will sideline it, try to defuse it and if none of that works, I'll delete it. And yes, some people will call that censorship, but I don't care. Engaging with certain people is fruitless; they feed on it and they don't stop. Lorraine, I sincerely hope you will continue to comment.

Again, I'm sorry that my last topic offended some people. But I am going to post controversial topics here sometime -- it's who I am. Opinions different from mine are welcome, but they must be expressed in a way that doesn't attack. And I expect people to be adult and not hijack my blog with potshots at each other. That is childish and I am not a freaking hall monitor. OK? I don't want to wake up and have to deal with stuff like this.

Oh, and Anonymous, for the record? My real name is Erica. Scott is fabricated. I've been very open about that. Many people in the spanking scene have an alternate name; it's not about phoniness, it's about maintaining a bit of safety and privacy, even though we are very public about what we do.

Dammit -- I had a really fun blog planned for today; I was so looking forward to posting it. But I guess that will have to wait. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go cool off.

Me, Opinionated?

Well, yeah. A little. Sometimes. OK, maybe a little more than a little.

Recently on FetLife, someone started a thread in which they asked whom we preferred to see OTK -- a female, a male, or was it about equal? My reply was:

Uhhhhhhhhhhhm... just speaking for myself, when I see a man OTK, I want to gouge out my eyes. So it would have to be female.

All right, I'll admit that was a wee bit emphatic. However, I'm not saying I'm switch averse. I'm not saying men who bottom are wrong to do so. I'm not saying they shouldn't. I am saying that I, Erica, can't watch it.

There are many bottom females out there who won't play with a man if she even knows he's a switch. It doesn't matter if she hasn't seen him bottom; just knowing that he does screws with her head and her image of him. Thank goodness I don't feel this way, since my sweetheart is a switch. Actually, truth be told, he's mostly a bottom, even though he's a great spanker. He doesn't get spanked, though. He likes other things, which I'd rather not think about. But my knowing about these things doesn't bother me... as long as I don't have to see them. Or hear a lot of details.

Is this wrong of me? Aren't we supposed to accept all kinks and orientations? Accept, maybe. Embrace? No. Wanna watch? No. I think you can accept what another person likes in principle and say more power to them, have fun -- but that doesn't mean you care to witness it. My dear friend and top Craig likes fire play. I'm freaking terrified of fire. Doesn't mean I don't want him to do it -- I just don't want to watch it.

How the hell did a diehard bottom like me end up with a man who isn't a pure top? We love who we love. And J gives me the freedom to play with other men, as I give him the freedom to seek out femdoms. It isn't always perfect, not by a long shot. But we work on it. We used to go to BDSM parties where we'd both bottom, and we made sure we were never in the same room. I wish I could watch him enjoying himself, but I can't. It may seem unfair, since he watches me bottoming all the time, but he's not me. I can't help how I feel, so I work around it.

Some of the best spankers I've ever known are switches, but they all have one thing in common -- I don't watch them bottom. If I did, I couldn't bottom to them. All I'd see in my head is that image, and I couldn't take them seriously as a top. It is what it is, fair or not.

I've known some switch couples who alternate and top each other. I guess it takes a special kind of mind-flip that they've perfected, but I know I couldn't do it. I think even if I were a switch, I couldn't play with a man who was topping me one day and bottoming to me the next. I mean, how do you switch gears like that? This is where (for me) poly play would come in.

Anyway... yeah, I know I have strong opinions and perhaps I voice them when I should just think them. But some people have told me privately that I speak what they're thinking. Guess someone's gotta do it, huh? :-D

To the switch males with whom I've played -- I love you guys. You're great spankers. What other activities you enjoy are none of my business. But if I walk into a room and see you front-and-center OTK with your pants down around your ankles, it's going to mess with my head. Not saying that's right or wrong, it just is.

A side note: Just a friendly reminder to everyone. I don't moderate comments and I like to keep things open. But I have seen some blogs where the comments devolve into endless bratting, angry debates between commenters or crosstalk in general that goes completely off-topic. Please avoid that here. If y'all want to debate something with each other, that's what email and forums like FetLife are for, but not a person's blog. Thanks! :-)