PLEASE NOTE: This blog contains adult subjects and content, and because of Google/Blogger's recent nonsense, I HAVE MOVED TO WORDPRESS. For my enlightened friends who wish to visit me in my new home, it's https://ericalscott.wordpress.com. Please bookmark it!

The rest of you? Please take your judge-y selves somewhere more wholesome, like here: www.wonderbread.com

Go on.... shoo!



Friday, April 13, 2012

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 4/13

It's Friday the 13th! By all accounts of superstitious lore, it's supposed to be a bad day. (The new Three Stooges movie was released today; perhaps all those triskaidekaphobics have it right after all.) However, it's pouring rain outside and I'm feeling quite safe and serene. So forget the calendar and have some fun with me.

Little lady u r beyond all thats real,noway to explain u.

"Little lady"? Who are you, John Wayne's ghost? And really, what's to explain? I may be a complex woman, but I'm not particle physics.

I would love to spank you hard. And afterwards, go down on you, have insane sex with you and again spank you when you need to get wet... I am sub but also love to spank and play with a woman like you... I bet you get so wet...

I'm quite wet now, honey. Know why? Because reading this crap brought on a powerful need to take a shower.

I'd love for you to play bad mommy with me and mollest me in my sleep

Why don't you go to sleep and dream that I'm molesting you, sonny boy. Because it won't happen any other way.

Well, may I say you look fabulously sprightly for your age.

No, you may not. Sprightly?? Who the @#$% am I, Granny Clampett?

I know some people out there might think I write these missives myself. But honestly, I do not. This last one has to be real, because there's no way I could make it up.

254 miles is only a hot rainbow to the pot of hot steaming love gold. So let's cash it in for pleasure beautiful goddesses of my passion. That I hold deep in side my soul that only a lady of desire would understand..........let's email this and follow the rainbow ....my love.

OK, there's something hot and steaming here, but it's not gold. You're 254 miles from me? Good. Stay there.

And finally, here are a few of those wonderfully whacky search phrases people have used to find my blog.

smarty bitches in panties

This smarty bitch is usually not in panties whenever ST is around.

underage girl spanking

First of all, ewwww. And second, how the hell did anything to do with underage girls lead to me? That's like Googling "rocket scientists" and coming up with the cast of Jersey Shore.

surprise injection panties down

Say it with me -- WTF? I don't want to know what that injection is, and if you want to surprise me, stick with flowers or some chocolate, OK?

The rain just turned into a deluge of a thunderstorm. I suppose I should wrap this up before there's a power glitch. Have a great weekend, y'all. :-)

17 comments:

  1. Good to see mollesting isn't a fetish of yours! :)

    You ARE the queen of awesomely bad email receipts!

    Enjoy your thunderstorm.

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  2. Okay, those made me smile!

    MichiganHeadmaster

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  3. Once again I turn to your BLOG to give me a laugh today!
    Thanks
    Dantana

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  4. Kelly -- a dubious honor if there ever was one!

    MH -- good; that's the intent!

    Dantana -- my pleasure.

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  5. Are you sure it wasn't "mollusking." Probably not because I don't think you would go mollusk hunting.

    How funny. I got a good laugh. Especially at JW's ghost. Hehehe.

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  6. OMG Erica--I can't stop laughing hehehe LMAO :-)I laughed at their stupidty and your come back's make me squeal with laughter,thank's for putting a smile on my face i really needed that :-)I saw the preview of the new Three Stooges movie and it look's worth seeing all i did was laugh,it's funny when they hit each other hehehe LOL,enjoy the rain and the thunderstorm,much Love and hug's from your naughty girl Jade XOXO

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  7. Bobbie Jo -- no, he wasn't talking about mollusks. But I do wish he'd clam up. :-)

    Jade -- I'm going to pass on that movie. I hate the Three Stooges. Hate. Them. Glad I made you laugh, though. :-)

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  8. Hahaha! Good one, Erica. Love it.

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  9. Would love to "mollest" you in your sleep and give you a surprise injection, but not sure I could stop laughing until I could accomplish this task. Love the CHoS posts!

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  10. He may think the world is his oyster but he will only get pearls of wisdom from you.

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  11. I always love your CHoS. I hate the term "sprightly" used on people of any age. It conjures up images of dancing around a toadstool under a full moon.

    Congrats on your Chrossing!

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  12. Insane! Just insane! Makes me shudder that to think for every one who actually sends out one of these complimentary messages, there are probably 100 or more just like them lurking around all areas of life.

    Ewwwwwwww!

    Just...."groce". (HA! Bacon!!!)

    sarah

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  13. SS -- yup, you try that. See what happens. ;-)

    John -- beats the pearls I'd get from him... (eww)

    Hermione -- thank you! It had been three weeks; I was beginning to feel like a has-been. :-)

    Sarah -- you and your bacon! :-)

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  14. UGH. These dudes. What is wrong with these dudes? And, why are they always so illiterate?

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  15. Joan -- if they were literate, they'd be out composing proper missives and winning the hearts of fair ladies. :-)

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  16. Sprightly? Lol. Where do these people come from?

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