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Friday, May 31, 2013

Mixed bag of a weekend ahead

Happy Friday, everyone. Hope you have some fun plans for your weekend. John and I will be busy; some of it, I'm really looking forward to. Other parts -- notsomuch. As usual, you guys get to be my sounding board while I steel myself for the not-so-good parts.

Tonight, there is a big 30th birthday party for John's nephew. Given at the same house where they have the annual holiday drunken bacchanal you've read about in the past (and you know how much I love those). (sigh) Tons of people, tons of noise, copious quantities of alcohol and pot, food I usually don't like (not to mention people I don't like all that much either) -- all the components that make for a delightful evening for this curmudgeon. The good news is, John is going straight from work, so I am meeting him there. He will get there around 5:30. Me? I plan to show up around 7:00-7:30. :-) Ah, the luxury of two vehicles. So I plan to suit up, show up, paste a cheerful smile on my face and get through a few hours. Considering how drop-dead exhausted poor John is on Friday evenings, I figure I can convince him to leave at a decent hour. (Is 9:00 too decent? Yes, I know, I'm bad.)

Tomorrow is good stuff. A colleague of John's is playing in an afternoon classical concert, and he invited us to come. We both love Beethoven and live music is always fun, so I'm excited. Plus, we'll be near Old Town Pasadena, so we'll go to one of our favorite restaurants afterward. I get to dress up and have a nice date with my sweetie. :-)

And then there's Sunday.

John's niece (the one who got married last year) is having a baby. A few weeks ago when we were at John's sister's restaurant, she asked me if I'd gotten an invitation to the baby shower. This was the first I was hearing about it, so I said no. Frankly, I would have been surprised if I DID get an invitation. I'm not at close with John's niece M, and she didn't invite me to the bridal shower either. So I told John that I was relieved to not get an invite, since I don't want to go to a freaking baby shower anyway. He asked, "If you were invited, would you go?" I skirted that by answering, "That's a moot question, since I'm not invited." Figured that was the end of that.

Then a week or two ago, John hears from his other sister (M's mother). She only contacts him when she wants something from him -- this time was no different, because she wanted him to go halfsies on some elaborate gift she's getting for M, and since John is M's godfather, she can shake him down for that. (She also roped him into paying for all the champagne at the wedding.) During that conversation, she asked, "So is Erica coming to the shower?" "She didn't get an invitation," John replied. "Oh, I'm sure that was an oversight! Of course she's invited," she insisted. She wouldn't hear of anything else. So now, John wants me to go. (groan)

I told him, I was not invited. Period. Oversight, my ass. His sister just wants M to get another gift. So now I'm supposed to show up at a gathering to which I wasn't invited -- how awkward is that?? There's no damn communication with this family -- sure, the reasonable thing would be to directly ask M if she'd meant to invite me, but no one is doing that. I'm just supposed to show up, assuming it was intended that I be there.

Can I tell you just how much I don't want to do this? But it's important to John that I show up. He said if I don't, it will cause further tension between him and his sister, as he'll have to explain to her why I didn't go. If I were closer to these people, I'd step up and ask, "So what's the story here?" But I'm not, and I don't want to.

John made it as easy as possible. The damn thing is at 1:00, which means I would have to miss brunch with him, but he said I can drop by later, after brunch. It's on my way home from his house, so it's not out of my way. And he even gave me money to pick up a gift. I just have to do it and get it over with.

But it really annoys the hell out of me. Yeah, I know. It's one of those relationship things; you do things you don't want to, sometimes. This is fairly minor. Still, there's that inner rebel screaming, "But I don't WANT to, goddammit!! Why should I? I wasn't invited! It's going to be ridiculously awkward!" I just have to tell her to shut up, suck it up, get it done, keep the peace. Do this little thing for the man I love, even though that love does not extend to his kin.

There is a gift registry, but nuts to that. I just went to the nearest Babies R Us and bought a gift card. 

So it will be a few days of polar opposites. Tonight, blech. Tomorrow, awesome. Sunday, blech. And Monday... ah, Monday. Steve, recovering and rarin' to go, and some sweet stress release.

Thanks for listening, and wish me luck. Have a great weekend, y'all.


  1. Erica, I knew from the beginning we had something in common. Be both like the 3 B's. Beethoven, Beatles, and Bottoms. Spanks to you. XXX I luv ya.

  2. I'm sure the baby will love you!

  3. Six -- yes, I love a lot of classical composers.

    MrJ -- please.

    1. Erica, talking of classical music. I have a lady friend who I spank on occassions. And she loves Gustavo Dudamal, the Argentinian, who is the maestro of the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra. She believes him to be a 'Wunderkind'.

  4. Yanno, you could be the life of the party if you brought along some of your own toys to play with. Have you really thought this whole "no Topping" thing through? I'm just might see a few bums you might wanna lay into at some point during the shower. Keep an open mind -Sammie ;-D

  5. Sammie -- (snort) Trust me... I don't want to play with any of these people, topping OR bottoming.

  6. Hi Erica -- I wish you lot's of luck,I know you are going to that shower with a hook.I agree that they just want you to go cause they want gifts. SIGH.I think it's mean they should like you for the BEAUTIFUL person that you are,NOT want you there just for a gift :-( My advice is to just think about Monday that's when you see Steve :-) I don't blame you for not wanting to top or bottom with those kind of people UGH hehehe LOL. Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade

  7. Jade -- oh well, at least I didn't have to pay for the gift! :-D

  8. The concert sounds lovely. Beethoven is one of my favourites too.

    As for the shower, how terribly awkward! A gift card seems like the perfect present. (The registry thing sounds greedy to me.) You can just pop in, drop off the card, and breeze out before you get roped into any silly games (or are those only played at bridal showers?)


  9. You know, I pay extra to NOT go to crap like that, not that I go to showers anyway, although it appears men are sometimes invited these days--Nooooooo, . My understanding is that these are come and go affairs. So take your card. Say congratulations. Make sure the family, especially the sister, see you, then slip out. Ten minutes tops.

    Why can't there be parties where interesting people who like Beethoven, Beetles, and reading talk about cool stuff?

  10. Close your eyes and think of England (says a lurker who adores your

  11. whoops! last word

  12. Hermione -- I guess they have a registry for everything these days!

    Mick -- yes, be glad you're not invited to baby showers. I'm female, and even I can't stand the estrogen-fest. :-)

    Anonymous -- thank you, lurker. :-)

  13. Showers, necessary evil I guess but more so focus on the stress relief for Monday. Hey, do you ever get nervous waiting on Monday knowing what is going to happen? Or are you just in the zone and don't think about it?

  14. Ron -- actually, the shower wasn't that bad. Friday night was the toughest for me, with that loud party. Nervous? No, not really... I'm too busy looking forward to it, I guess. :-)

  15. I hope you enjoy your private time with John. I hate the forced social situations too. And the only thing worse than a bridal shower is a baby shower. I am not a kid person.

  16. Lea -- I like some kids. Toddlers are cute. Infants, not as much. And they definitely have to be someone ELSE'S kids!