Nervous Nellie

Yes, that's been me the past few days. It's so much fun being neurotic, I'm telling you. 

Last week, we had three separates wildfires blazing, and they worsened as the temperatures climbed into the 90s and the winds picked up. None of them was near me or near John, but still. When it's fire season, I get this general, free-floating anxiety. I am so utterly terrified of fire, it's ridiculous. By Friday, I was jumping out of my skin. Add to that some worry over a scary drama that's going on with FetLife and some of my friends, and I was juggling a few jobs and fretting over which one I should do first, and I was a basket case by the time I left for John's Friday evening. I have two ginormous bruises on my left leg from two separate instances of walking into things.

It didn't help that when I walked out of my apartment and into the hallway, there was a strong smell of smoke. Be reasonable, Erica. It's a barbecue. There are no smoke alarms going off anywhere. Still, I walked all around the courtyard and up and down the alley, looking for a barbecue and saw none. So what did I do? I called and left a message with the building manager, just as a fail-safe. Because in my state, I was convinced that if I left for the weekend, I'd come home to smoldering ruins. Yes, I am certifiable.

Aggghhh. Fortunately, John knows how I get, and he did his best to calm and distract me. We had a nice weekend and he made me laugh a lot. I swear, I cannot take that man anywhere. We went to Whole Foods, and the cashier checking out our groceries had black, white-blond and green hair. John nonchalantly asked her, "So, is that your real hair color?" !!! "JOHN!" I screeched, mortified, but she just laughed, shrugged and said she doesn't remember what her real color is! He gets away with everything. Must be that boyish twinkle of mischief he has.

Miraculously, the weather did a 180-degree turn with the temps dropping about 25 degrees and clouds/rain coming in, so that helped with the fires. I came home and finished one work project last night, so I'd have the day a little more freed up for Mr. D.

But then he called and canceled. (sigh) He had been to the ER over the weekend and was going to his doctor for a battery of tests; some weird and scary symptoms came on. (Fortunately, all the worst-case scenarios were ruled out immediately by the ER.) We spoke this afternoon, and he's feeling better; he'll get all his test results tomorrow. I feel relieved now, but was anxious about him all morning. Working out helped.

Then I bought myself a new bookcase. Yes, I know -- an entire generation is out there saying, "What's a bookcase?" None of that e-reader business for this dinosaur -- I like real books, with real pages and covers. But they take up a lot of space. I currently have three large shelves on the wall, plus a large and a small bookcase, and they are overflowing, so it was time for another. I managed to wrangle a 36H x 24W x 13D solid oak case upstairs into my apartment from the garage without injuring myself or the bookcase, so I'm quite pleased with myself. After that, I settled in to work.

Mr. D might be able to come tomorrow; he doesn't know yet, but will let me know tonight. I hope so. I need my fix. Today when we were chatting on the phone, I was saying I'm glad he's not one of these macho guys who refuses to go to the doctor until he's at death's door (like John used to be, until he damn near died!). Mr. D said, "I do have a brain," and I replied, "Yes, you do. You managed to conceal it fairly well a lot of the time, but you do have one." I think he has extra incentive to show up tomorrow, now. :-)

Here's to calm. I've had enough crazy for a while.