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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Oh, shut up

Forget Nervous Nellie; she's gone. She has been replaced by Cranky Cathy. Or, as John would call me, Cranky the Cat.

Mr. D couldn't make it today. He's much better, but he lost a lot of time yesterday while at the doctor and had too much going on today to shuffle it around. And he can't make it tomorrow, either. So, it's going to have to be next week.

First-world problem, I know. But I want a spanking NOW, goddammit. And I want hugs, I want attention, I want a balm to my ragged nerves. So I'm feeling rather irritable and unfulfilled. I have a project to do, which is good. But as it happens today, there's some work being done on the baseboards in the hallway outside my apartment. So I get to make a feeble attempt to concentrate on work to the sounds of drilling and hammering and workmen chattering. @#$%&!!!!!

Therefore, I'm in one of those moods where everyone and everything is pissing me off. Look out.

Today, on my goofy little video with Mr. D, where I'm answering his questions and we're laughing and having fun, someone commented: "Get the gag!" Oh, fuck you. Yeah, that would be a really fun and interesting scene, with me gagged and completely silent. You want quiet? Go back to your mama's basement and spank your blow-up doll.

People are still posting pictures and comments about BBW, more than two weeks after the fact, and now the talk is starting up about upcoming parties (FMS, for example). I hate feeling left out. Hate it hate it HATE IT. Kelley used an acronym I've never heard before at our gathering in Vegas: FOMO. She was laughing at all of us, late at night on Saturday, all looking like we were about to drop dead, but none of us wanted to be the first to go to bed. Why? Fear Of Missing Out. As soon as we're not there, the best stuff happens and we miss it. That's how I'm feeling lately, with all these parties and the reports. Sour grapes, of course. I don't begrudge anyone anything. But dammit, I wish I had more money and didn't stress out so much about travel. I wish, I want, bitch bitch bitch. I read all the camaraderie on FetLife and Twitter and I swear, I'm back in high school, floating on the fringes.

Yeah, yeah, I know. SHUT UP, Erica. Enough with this already. But hey, it's my blog and I'll whine if I want to.

Oh, and on the subject of people and their unsolicited opinions, the never-ending controversy of "Professional spanking/BDSM providers are whores" has been re-ignited lately. I've written about it before, so I won't belabor it once again. But I encourage all of you to please read this brilliant post by Dana Kane, here. I can't tell you how tired I am of this crap. I know it's not going away anytime soon and people will believe what they want to believe, but sometimes (especially when I'm in Cranky Cathy mood), it gets to me. I may no longer be "in the biz," but I used to be. And these women who are being vilified are my friends.

All right, enough. On the bright side, it's my kind of day outside: cloudy. Must go do some work. In the meantime, since I won't have a scene report this week, here's another quickie clip from last week. 


  1. Love the video...And don't shut the fuck up...Your laughter makes the video!...!

  2. Nancy -- thanks. :-) I do love to show the fun side.

  3. I saw your response to that jerk's gag reference.
    Fuck off, indeed!

    I commented on Dana's post and did NOT refrain one bit. It's NO ONE'S business when consensual ADULTS work/play together...

    I was off from work today and the sound of someone's basketball incessantly bouncing outside across the street annoyed me. Usually I don't mind my neighbors' activities but I've been in a regular state of irritation for months now, by not finding an addition to or a replacement for my part time job.

  4. Alexis -- as one would probably figure, I am terrible about neighbors' noises. I try to think "live and let live," but you know, it really does seem like the world is in a giant conspiracy to annoy me.

  5. Badsherri here, cant sign in boohoo: Anyway u whine all you want, cause i will whine right along with you, i know even though i went to BBW and everybody is talking about getting more spankings and going to parties, posting pics i just got spanked. I am feeling so left out too, of course look where i live kc Blah & borning nobody in kc wants to meet outside of parties and a party to play here in kc is far, just like spankos, i feel alone in kc. So thank you for this, You are a funny, wonderful, fun lady so you whine all you want :) I got your back. sherri

  6. Erica,

    Thank you for mentioning, and I guess I'm Cranky too, because nobody is even (currently) giving me crap - it's just the general crap I see given all the time on social media platforms. So cavemanish (which is especially unattractive in women, don't you think?).

    Please continue to whine and complain. It's very endearing.

    Big Love,

  7. Sherri -- thanks, hon. You know, you would think here in So. CA, we'd have tons of spanking parties. But the spanking scene in L.A. blows just as bad as K.C.! Lots of BDSM dungeons, though.

    Dana -- is it possible to bronze a comment? I don't believe anyone has ever called my whining and complaints endearing before. :-) ♥ you!

  8. I'm glad you CHOOSE to not listen when your telling yourself to just "Shut up" Sammie :-)

  9. Sammie -- well, you know, I figure I should say it first, before someone else does. ;-)

  10. *gasp* How dare you judge us, your readers, like that! Someone oughta spank you down a notch or two! Sammie :-D

    1. From your lips to Mr. D's ears, please. ;-)

    2. Maybe then you'll stop listening to the haters ;-) - Sammie

  11. Hi Erica -- I agree don't ever shut up,the person that told you to get a gag,should be gagged himself UGH,people are so VERY rude.I don't like missing out on things either.The SL party is in a few months.I know you always go to that one.I like your whining and complaining,PLEASE keep it up.I Love you,big hugs from naughty girl Jade

  12. Jade -- YES! SL in a couple of months, thank goodness.

  13. Yay for Shadowlane! I feel you on party season.. being a poor graduate student with obligations.. like exams.. quizzes.. and the like is no fun..

    Note to self.. win the lottery..



  14. Otkd -- if I win the lottery, I'll share it with you, and we can go to EVERY damn party! :-)

  15. Erica, I'm curious about something you mention here (and a couple of times in the past). You've mentioned you don't like it when spanking models or performers are lumped in with prostitutes or "whores". Is that simply because of the terminology (ie "whore" is considered a put-down) or do you feel getting paid for getting spanked belongs in a different category than getting paid for sex?

  16. Anonymous -- very valid question. Perhaps it's a little of both. I don't like the terminology (and the implication that prostitution is a bad, BAD, sinful thing). But I also don't like how so many people assume that professional tops and bottoms engage in sex with their clients. I'm not saying that none of them do, but I know a lot more who don't. And if you pay for a massage, or a golf lesson, or whatever the hell else service you pay for, why should paying for spanking be considered a separate (and inappropriate) entity?

  17. Erica, thanks for replying. I personally don't have anything against prostitution as a profession and I will admit that I tend to mentally place spanking models, porn stars and prostitutes into .... well, if not into the same category then in related categories. In each case one person is fulfilling the desires/urges of another person for money, at least that is my opinion. Though I will concede there are different rules, different boundaries with each profession.

    Anyway, I completely agree that paying for spanking is just as appropriate as any other profession. I don't see why someone should look down on models.

  18. Erica: badsherri here again, got to get this cant sign in fixed: Wow and u would think there would be a big spanking scene in california but there isnt, yes big BDSM here in kc. I mean there is kc spanks club and god bless RichSpankman for doing his best to have more parties which he is working on, but as far as spankos like us. Og course i always knew since i was 18 that spanking was not widely accepted, but BDSM is.
    Yr welcome, u made me feel better :) so i sure hope yr feeling better, Chin up and the spanking will happen might not be when we want it but it will happen.
    Yes Shadowlane is in sept YYaaayyyy im really excited about going and i hope to get to meet u..
    Totally agree with Dana!!

  19. Sherri -- there used to be a much bigger spanking scene when Shadow Lane was here in So. CA. When they moved to Vegas, it kind of sputtered out.

  20. Look out?!? Me? Grrrr!!!
    Take care. ;-)

  21. Oh, poor Erica, I feel for you. I really do! Your post also gave me advance selfish pangs as I know I'll be in the Left Out Squad this September (after all my hopes, I can't go to SL this year after all - I can afford it fine but I'm pre-committed to an unavoidable event in England that weekend). I'm sorry to be one of the bloggers making you feel crappy this time... but I guess we all have to take turns having fun, and I hope that this September you will have enough fun for both of us! :)

    I really hope that it's not too long before we can both be at the same party, though - I'm so impatient to meet you. x

  22. i have to admit, the video was the cutest thing ever. i loved it. :) he seems to sweet (even when warming your bottom!) -- i've never been to your blog. will look around. :) thanks erica!

  23. OK. Love Ms. Kane's post, she is simply amazing and nice for you to point out. Two, I agree with the others, Don't Shut the Fuck Up, keep on whinning and bitching....I love it and just so much fun. Now three, I love this clip, first because yes beautiful panty, then nice sound hand spanking and I love your laughter, this is what this is all about. By the way between your tiny bottom and his large hand, seems like every spank covers the entire area!!!

    Well done and thanks


  24. MrJ -- well, I kinda meant in general. ;-)

    Pandora -- oh, sweet girl, no need to apologize. Honestly, I begrudge no one their wonderful time. I just wanted to be there with you! So sorry you can't make it to SL; I am eager to meet you as well.

    Maryanne -- welcome! And yes, he's very sweet (but don't tell him I said so).

    Ron -- thanks! I figured I couldn't improve on what Dana already said, so I wanted to send everyone there! It's a subject that just won't quit.

  25. Thanks for sharing. Please no gags ever. Your sass is what makes you the perfect brat and a very sexy one too.


  26. Jon -- aw, thanks. It's who I am; stifling it would be stifling part of my core essence.

  27. I hope everything is alright with Mr. D. I get cranky too when I've gone for too long between spankings. And I'm a total pain wuss too. It's not the physical part I want as much as a moment between me and the top, cuddling, talking, the whole thing. That's what I start to miss. A moment that's just about me and him and nothing else.

    The Fetlife asshats is the same old, same old. I can't believe how often people rehash those conversations. If you want to pay for a spanking, great. If you are against it then don't pay for one. End of discussion! Sheesh. Nobody's opinion is going to change by talking about it over and over.

  28. Lea -- he's feeling better, thanks. When I speak with him next, I'll ask about the results of his tests. And yes, I miss that specialness too. It's not just about the spanking. Anyone with a hand can spank. But not everyone rocks my world like he does. :-)

  29. Oh goodness...internet ate my first comment! Boooooo! Being a fellow banterer and enjoyer of getting spanked, I love this part of your videos especially! Why does it have to be all silence and contrition to be a spanking of meaning? Go eff yourself buddy!

    As for the green monster...he's been welling in my chest since FMS 2011...we knew it'd be our last party for a while as we have been expanding in the vanilla life and I have barely even been able to open fetlife let alone glance at my newsfeed. Not for lack of time, but because I couldn't bear to be reminded of everything I was missing(severe JOMO, jealousy-OMO)! Of course we couldn't stay away completely and stopped by FMS 2012 while I was providing temporary housing to the tiniest of roommates ;o).

    The relationships we've made in the scene REALLY are family, if anything the last year and a half has only made me more fond of these relationships.

    It's not just the party and spankings I miss out on, it's the bonding with kindred spirits, getting to really be myself filter, I'm truly happy in this company, and missing out on all the inside jokes, bonding and cuddles physically hurts! Pout pout, whoa is me...stomp stomp...feels better to let it out! :o)

    Sooooooooooo wish you cold make FMS, I need a dose of you lady! and likewise wish we could make SL, boooo!



  30. Sarah -- hey, cutie pie!! :-) Yes, you know it exactly. It DOES hurt! So much missing, and then all the inside jokes and reminiscing afterward. The hugs and the bonding, and feeling like what I never really had with family. But at least there is the Internet to keep these connections alive until next time. Miss you too -- have a blast at FMS for us. ♥