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Monday, October 1, 2012

Dear Hollywood: You Suck! (OT Rant)

Wow, another rant in under two weeks! Erica's on a roll! How come? Well, let's review. On Friday, John lost about half of his day off, dealing with issues with his mother. On Saturday, we went to visit my stepfather, who has aged about 10 years in a few weeks. And then today, Mr. D had to cancel because his sick neighbor went into the hospital and he didn't want to leave him. Totally understandable... but that doesn't mean I'm not so damned frustrated I could croak.

Who are the @#$%ing rocket scientists who decided that living longer is a good idea?? Argh.

Anyway, since I can't do a thing about any of this, I thought I'd blow off some steam over something unrelated, but incredibly maddening.

Last week, I happened to notice a link to an online article entitled "Worst Hollywood Kisses." Curious, I clicked on it. Turns out it was about celebrities caught making out by paparazzi, engaging in, and I quote, "gross PDA" (public displays of affection), the kind that made people want to yell "EWWWW! Get a room!" I believe the term "bad taste" was used as well.

So I went through the pictures. Granted, several of them were gross. Gene Simmons and his wife lapping at each other's tongues. Angelina Jolie sharing a passionate, full-on kiss... with her brother. And stars I've never heard of, looking like they were trying to suck each other's faces off, men grabbing at their women's boobs, etc.

And then there was this one.

Wait a minute... what? This is gross?? Are you kidding me? Jay Leno bestowing a respectful and tasteful hand kiss to Betty White, the Grande Dame of Hollywood, is gross PDA? Since when?

I love Betty White. Betty White is my hero. Ninety years old, and still fully active, even starring on a sitcom (and often upstaging her much-younger co-stars). Sharp as a tack. Betty White gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, growing old doesn't have to be a crapfest. And yet, this wonderful woman has to be added to such a tacky list? Why? Because she's old? What bad taste? Uhhhh... he's not playing tonsil hockey with her, for Christ's sake. He's kissing her hand.

But wait, there's more.

This one was also included in the "Worst Hollywood Kisses" list:

What, pray tell, is EWWW-worthy about this? It's a couple lying on the beach and kissing, reminiscent of the classic "From Here to Eternity" scene. Nothing is exposed, he's not groping her, they're just sharing a kiss. So why is it in included in the GROSS list? Because, as the article specifically mentioned, the photo is of 54-year-old Sharon Stone.

Funny how age wasn't mentioned in any of the other photos. The implication is clear: Shame on Sharon Stone; she's too damned OLD to be frolicking on a beach and engaging in public displays of affection. I guaran-damn-tee you that a picture of a young starlet couple doing the exact same thing wouldn't have made the list.

Hey, Mr. D, are you reading this? Now do you get why I think ageing blows? Because of crap like this. Everywhere. Guess what, Hollywood? I'm 55, and I kiss John in public all the time. Checkers in the market call us "lovebirds." People whistle at us from cars driving by. I like kissing him, and I'm going to continue kissing him, wherever I damn well please. And those of you who voted the above photos as gross, if you don't like it, y'all can take your ageist attitudes, fold them four ways (with sharp corners) and shove 'em where the sun don't shine.

Still feeling pissed off. Perhaps I'll wander over to FetLife and see if there's some Uber-Dom idiot who needs a new one. (grumble)


  1. I'm not offended by any of this...but these days those "Help,I've fallen and I can't get up" girls aren't looking too bad either.Lately I've been wondering just how long I'd check out one of their asses if I came across one before I helped her up.

    I never overlook any potential spanking opportunity ;-)

  2. BG -- after my stepfather had one too many falls (and couldn't get up), his driver's license was taken away. I don't find that commercial all that funny anymore. :-(

    1. Erica, I remember being young enough to think those "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercials were funny/mockworthy/risible. But after my father had a few such moments in the last couple years of his life, it's really hard for me to remember precisely why they seemed funny. They sure don't now, anyway.

    2. Dan -- I think they seemed funny because they were so exaggerated. Who falls, and then bellows from the floor, "Heeeeelp! I've fallen and I can't get up!"? But yeah, when it becomes a reality, the spoofs hit too close to home.

  3. I didn't mean anything with your father...I mean they're using fairly attractive women on the floor.

  4. Betty is among a bunch of wonderful women who are aging, or aged, gracefully, often kicking conventional Hollyweird "thinking" in the nuts. That list, for me, includes Kate Hepburn, Lauren Bacall, and Myrna Loy. I find intelligent, funny, feisty women remarkably sexy, always.

  5. Well, they do have tons of opinions and "rules," such as not wearing miniskirts over age ... 30? 40? And you ask, Why shouldn't I, if my legs look pretty good? Because someone's going to judge me? Who are the ones judging? Are they going around asking for IDs? And why are we supposed to care?

    Sharon Stone looks great! The guy she's with looks kind of scruffy, and that's the only thing negative I can say about the pic... but it's OK to be a scruffy guy, as long as you don't go kissing old hags in public.

  6. Erica,

    You have the body of a thirty year old. You should be doing videos on personal training. Seriously. I am not sure the rules of aging apply to you.

    I am sorry that that your weekend was so difficult and no spanking either. I hope this weekend is better.

    I also agree with Sandy. Who made the rules? Who cares?


  7. The pictures are not at all offensive. I also salute Betty White. She's a real star. It's too bad someone included that picture in the offensive group.

    Here's hoping you and Mr D manage to connect next week (or sooner).


  8. Erica, I agree with you 100%. Along with Betty White, queen of the aged Beauties of the Silver Screen. Are these very mature beauties. Jane Fonda, Sophia Loren, Helen Mirren, Candice Bergen, Rachel Welch, Sally Field, Merle Streep, Goldee Hawn, Barbara Streisand, Julie Andrews, Cher, Etc, Etc, Etc. Any one of these renowned ladies I have just mentioned. Looks as GOOD TODAY, as they did in YESTERYEARS. So say I. anyone OPPOSSED?

  9. And furthermore, I would still love to spank the bare bottoms of all of these beauties of the Silver Screen. So say I. Any one oppossed?.

  10. I think the picture of Jay Leno kissing Betty White's hand is sweet. A bad picture? What is wrong with these people?! It was such a nice gesture and one of respect and endearment. There are a lot of stars who have aged gracefully. I place you among them, Erica.

  11. Hi Erica -- So sorry that Mr.D had to cancel :-( hope you get to see him soon.I agree with Bobbie Jo that the pic of Betty White and Jay Leno is sweet :-)I also agree with,WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? that they have to put someone down because of their age,race,etc.Why should it matter? The next time someone say's that everyone get's treated equal i am going to tell them they are FULL OF SHIT AND TO STFU.YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ERICA :-)Much Love and hug's from naughty girl Jade

  12. Sometimes our puritanical originals are so fucking annoying...

  13. Dave -- I forget that we still have Lauren Bacall! She just turned 88.

    Sandy -- (sigh) Ah yes, the "rules." My mother always said that women of a certain age were too old to wear long hair. Needless to say, she didn't like mine.

    joey -- yeah, I miss my "fix." Life interferes with one's personal needs way too damn often. I'm feeling very off-balance.

    Hermione -- Betty White is one of the people I'd choose, given that age-old (no pun intended) question: With what famous person would you like to have dinner and spend an evening? I find her inspirational.

    Six -- no, I don't think anyone is opposed.

    Bobbie Jo -- right? I mean, to put that lovely photo of Betty and Jay in the same group as Gene Simmons and his wife licking each other's uvulas is despicable.

    Jade -- thanks. I hope so, too.

    Craig -- agreed!

  14. Dear Erica

    I would happily kneel at the feet of Betty White and gently kiss her hand. I am a big fan and would be thrilled. I had an autograph from Phyllis Diller that I got at a Carol Burnett taping. It had a little red heart on it and was personalized to me. She couldn't help it I was a cute little boy.

    As for kissing in public and such displays of affection I love it myself. The best movie smooch in my opinion was from "The Whole Wide World" Renee Z Knacking on Vincent D, leaves me a little breathless.

    I did not realize that you had sharp claws too!



  15. Emanuele -- when did you go to the Carol Burnett show? I went to quite a few of them myself.

    I actually don't have sharp claws. You don't need them when you have a razor for a tongue. ;-D

    1. My mom used to get the tickets, they were free for the asking, she would take us for an inexpensive day out. Considering the quality of the shows we saw it was an E ticket all the way round. We only went to a few, being in the live studio audience, but they were awesome.

      I am in SoCal working and instead of just being a couch potato I thought I would spend a little time looking at other blogs. I started with your blogroll.



  16. Uh oh, I hope we didn't offend anyone yesterday while kissing on the beach. Actually I don't give a rat's patooty. (it was our 30th anniversary)

    I always loved Betty White, and Hot in Cleveland is a hoot. That shot with her and Jay Leno was very sweet.

    Seeing the Carol Burnett Show, I am so jealous.

  17. I think it's awful that Hollywood considers PDA of people who do not meet their self-imposed standards to be "gross". I'd like to throw in Helen Mirren's name into the mix of amazingly beautiful women...

    Any word on Mr. D? While I think it's great that he's watching over his neighbor, but I do believe he's not living up to his name! Monday's are no longer definite... hmpf! I miss the regularity of your reports!


  18. Kaki -- happy anniversary! Yes, being in her audience was a treat. You got to see all the stuff that didn't make it to the air. ;-)

    SC -- (heavy sigh) His neighbor is in hospice, which means he's near the end. Believe me, I am struggling. The selfish, needy part of me is feeling cast adrift, which makes the rest of me feel rather ashamed.

  19. I am really uncomfortable with PDA's, being involved in one or stuck near others engaging in them. But that's with what I consider to be kind of extreme slobbering over each other kind of kissing or groping. I don't see either of the above pics as being over the top and think it's ridiculous to be given the message that if one is younger it would be acceptable. Hope your week gets better and things settle down for Mr. D.

  20. Lea -- I love PDAs, but they do have to be tasteful. Holding hands, walking with arms around one another, hugs, light kisses... lovely. But I know they make a lot of people uncomfortable. I actually crave them; it's from going without any sort of affection for many years, perhaps.