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Friday, October 19, 2012

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 10/19

It's quite obvious that I missed my spanking session this week. I am in one of those feisty, don't-@#$%-with-me moods. So what better time than to write up one of these?

This is from a 22-year-old. I am exactly 2 1/2 times his age; scary. I don't get it! When I was 22, an "older man" was 30.

hey maybe u can show me a thing or two?

Okie dokie -- here are a couple of things. 1. the correct way to spell "u" is y-o-u; 2. here's one of my favorite sweatshirts. It's got "Beatlefest '81" printed on it. Which means I have clothing older than you.

Hello Ma'am,
i hope you are interested in an online slave for a nice talk or try to force me to do things on cam i never did before

(head to desk) All right, young man. Here's your first order. Read my fucking profile. You know, all the parts where I talk about being a bottom?

u r abad girl and u must have apunishment
come on baby

Well, u r somewhat correct: I AM abad girl and I do need apunishment. But not from amoron.

And really, would it be a CHoS without the requisite age reference?

Lady for 55 you have the best damn ass Ive ever seen. Come live with me and let me stroke and spank that ass for the rest of our lives!!!

Honey, if I came to live with you, the rest of our lives would be very brief indeed. Trust me on this one.

And while we're on the topic of idiocy -- some of you may be watching me engage on FetLife, on one of the most disgusting threads ever. Let me make something clear. I fully realize that some people fetishize body odors. I am not judging that fetish. You want to smell my underarms, you enjoy a woman's sexual scent? Fine! But I draw the line at being OTK and having a man announce that I smell like cheese. I would: 1) shower for the next three hours; and 2) kick his nose so far into the back of his head, he'd never smell anything again.

Switching gears to end on a pleasing note: Today (if the notification on Facebook is accurate) is Pink's birthday! Happy birthday, honey! :-)

Have a great weekend, y'all.


  1. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    What is the FL thread title that has you in an uproar?

    Thanks again for the provided laughter I needed. Ever since I emailed you about my short-lived shoot career I've been in a horrific mood. And I'm the main one to blame.

  2. Doesn't it depend on what KIND of cheese he says you smell like? A ripe limburger cheese is probably not too kind... but what about a nice smoked gouda? or a tasty hickory??

    And just how would you handle "Did you just cut the cheese young lady??"


  3. Kelly -- here you go, toots; knock yourself out! :-D Sorry about the mood. I know how you're feeling.

    Anonymous -- at the risk of having the wrath of many come down upon my head, I don't like cheese, so it wouldn't matter what kind it was! LOL

  4. You're awfully funny when you're on a tear!

    Those young ones just haven't grown up enough to keep up with you.

  5. Mick -- I count on people finding me amusing. Otherwise, they'd probably hate me! LOL

  6. Thanks for the link. WHERE in the EFF do these people come from?! And AGAIN...those defending the OP's topic just make me want to slam my head down. LOL

  7. God, I don't know how on Earth you make me laugh with punctuation, spacing and mind-mannered alphanumeric adjustments...but you do! Always a treat.

    And as for your scent fetish--I prefer fresh tobacco, vanilla, Play-Doh or red wine. I don't smoke, but if I smell any of those four things I am truly transported. I don't know what that has to do with spanking, but just felt like sharing.

  8. Craig -- really, Play-Doh?? Wow. It's been years, but now I can conjure up that scent in my head. Regarding tobacco -- I do like the smell of a pipe. But cigars nauseate me.

  9. OMG Erica,I can't stop laughing hehehe LOL :-)When you mentioned the smell of cheese i laughed hysterically cause my ex foster brother smell's VERY YUCKY like that HAHAHAHAHA LOL,I almost threw up when he stood next to me UGH,he is so GROSS he don't wash up and he don't brush his teeth either he is a PIG OINK.LOL.have a GREAT weekend my very dear friend I Love you,big hug's from naughty girl Jade

  10. Jade -- ummmm... well. That's a shame...

  11. Thank you! You know what comes with birthdays right? I mean, after the cake. Nope...after the presents. Yup. :)

    Enjoy your weekend! (And I think we may have had the same 22-year-old contact us. My answer wasn't much different than yours!)

  12. Pink -- hey, girl! Yes, let's keep those priorities straight; cake and presents first. :-D

  13. I saw that thread and I couldn't imagine where that guy was coming from. Yuck!

    It is my understanding that Napoleon once wrote his wife that he would be home in three days and "Don't wash." Hmmm.

    I always look forward to these CHoS posts. And now adding some of the, shall we say "cheesy," ones from FL will make it even more interesting.

    On scents, I love lavender. I also like cedar, pine, vanilla, and fresh, crisp air right after a snow.

  14. Bobbie Jo -- some people do fetishize body odors. I had a client at the dungeon years ago who said he just wanted to smell me for an hour. (!) That's fine, but the FetLife guy was purporting using someone's smell to humiliate them. THAT ticked me off.

    I prefer my men clean. I can never get enough of smelling John's sweet clean hair, even after all these years. :-)

  15. Dear Erica

    I can imagine lavender or some pretty flowers but cheese?

    I did give my business card to a graduate student she told me that I was too expensive as her friends had no money, I told her not to worry my rates were very flexible.



  16. I once had an office friend who would make her husband wash if he had put cologne on his private parts. She said she preferred his natural smell. We had a fellow male co-worker who rarely washed or changed clothes. Everyone avoided getting close to him, but she said he simply smelled like a man who had been working.

    To each his own, I guess, but I agree it isn't something you would remark on in order to humiliate someone (unless they're into humiliation).


  17. You too and thanks for another intelligent and thoughtful post.

  18. Erica, maybe you can offer this underage, behind the ears, wunderkind, bagels with CREAMCHEESE. and lots of loxs, with a side order of HIS COCK to eat. Because he needs to grow up fast.

  19. Emanuele -- lavender would be nice!

    Hermione -- I don't need fancy cologne smells. John never wears any. I just like CLEAN.

    Ron -- you're welcome.

    Six -- I think I'll pass on that. :-)

  20. Some young people can spell and use proper punctuation. Fetlife isn't the best example of that though. I saw that cheese thread too. WTF?

  21. "Summer's Eve makes me smell fine." Throw in some Jasmine and we'll do finnneee!"

    Just a sample of one of my obnoxious karaoke parodies. I'm certain you realize it's "Summer Breeze." :)

  22. Lea -- right? WTF indeed.

    Kelly -- I can't believe I once actually liked that song. To be fair, I WAS 15. :-)

  23. Erica, what do you think of the article in WELLRED WEEKLY, in the LIBRARY SPANKERS FICTION. on the subject "The Spanking Video Experience". Issue, NUMBER ELEVEN.

  24. Six -- I'll have to go take a look.