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Friday, October 12, 2012

Putting it out there to my readers

Happy Friday, everyone. :-)

As I slowly but surely approach 500 posts here on Blogger (I'm at 478 now), I'm pondering about this blog and its purpose. So I thought I'd open the floor to readers and get some feedback. My blog hits have been low lately. Perhaps it's not just me (naturally, I think everything is about me!), but I do fret about these things.

The title says it all: This blog is about my life, my loves and my spankings, with the emphasis on the latter. If I wanted to write more about vanilla stuff, I'd write a vanilla blog. However, I wonder sometimes if I've covered everything there is to be said about my spanking life.

Yes, I continue to post of my weekly adventures, now with a new partner. But other than that? Between years and years of posting blogs (and posting on forums before that) and two books, I've related one hell of a lot of experiences, fantasies and not-so-humble opinions.

One of my biggest peeves on FetLife of late is the redundancy, the posting and discussing of the same freaking topics over and over and OVER. Even though the most popular topics are kept at the top of the thread as "stickies," people don't bother looking at those. Just last week, someone posted the "Does size matter?" question for the umpteenth time, and I lost it, commenting, "For the love of God, not this again! Read the @#$%ing stickies before you ask a question that's already been asked a million times." Amazingly, no one flamed me for that. The moderator ended up closing the thread. Perhaps he/she agreed with me. But I digress. My point is, I don't wish to become redundant. I don't want to repeat myself, tell the same damn stories over and over and bore people.

I used to post my Correspondence Hall of Shame regularly, which was a lot of fun. But I get less material for that these days. I used to post of wonderful shooting adventures, but sadly, those seem to have come to an end. Yes, I miss posting as a "spanking model." My 15 minutes went on to last 12 years and I am so grateful for that, but I'm sad as well. I post thorough party reports, but those are few and far between. My local spanking scene is woefully inadequate and we cannot afford to travel to all the good parties.

Please don't misunderstand me; I love blogging. I don't want to dwindle off or cease writing this blog; it's dear to me. However, I'm not sure what to blog about anymore. I'm struggling to find subjects. There are only so many parodies, so many spoofs, so many reviews, so many observations. What is it I can say that you haven't already heard? I want to keep things fresh. I don't want to be a relic, like the old actress in that Twilight Zone episode who holes up in her house and watches her young self in her films from years ago, living and reliving the past.

So here's where you guys can help me out. Is there anything you'd like for me to cover here, that I haven't already? Should I continue this blog as it is, with the sharing of play dates interspersed with life stuff? Or is there an unexplored direction that might be worth peeking into?

Just my thoughts on a semi-cool, cloudy Friday afternoon. Here I thought fall was finally here -- no such luck. By Sunday, it's going to be back up in the @#$%ing 90s here, and will stay that way all next week! BLECCCHHH!!

Yeah, I know. Bitch, bitch, bitch. That's one thing that will never change. :-)

Have a great weekend, y'all.


  1. Erica, I vote for you to continue. I love your direct approach, the "tell it like it is" attitude. Of course, your adventures are quite entertaining and of interest. I think a lot of bloggers are seeing reduced visits as the number of spanking and broader scene related blogs increase. It's part of the price for kink "coming out" and being more accepted. My nickel's worth.

  2. I think a lot of people who were around in the early days on Fetlife have noticed the cyclic nature of the questions and topics. I guess we just have to remember that for the newcomers, everything is a first-time experience.

    Doesn't make it any less annoying when they don't read the stickies, tho :)

    A topic search within groups is apparently on the way but, although helpful to some, there will always be those who type before they look.

  3. Stick to what you've been doing best. The weekly recaps NEVER get old. Bring the bitching over from FL if you're inclined as often as you please. I read more than I comment on the many topics there w the exception of today. LOL
    I have lost most of my scene enthusiasm but NOT towards those I was originally drawn to. I enjoy stopping over here never knowing exactly what I'm gonna find but I know I'll usually end up with a great laugh.

    As for unacceptable weather...Pittsburgh's wonderful summer in the beginning died unexpectedly mid Aug. I have been wearing a ski jacket to work at 7 am for Christ's Sake since then on most days. :( :(

  4. Mitch -- good point re. the mass quantities of blogs from which to choose.

    UB -- newcomers are fine. I was one myself, once. But for God's sake, read back a few pages, check the threads, make an effort to find your answers before posing a question that's been asked and answered countless times already. In my opinion, if you don't bother to do that, you're probably not going to bother listening to anyone who takes the time to share their experiences with you, either.

    Kelly -- FetLife really has been a mixed bag lately, hasn't it. I still love seeing and connecting with my friends there. But I'm disenchanted with a lot of it myself!

  5. Since we get new people on Fetlife everyday, I really can't fault them for asking a question that may have been asked several times in the course of a few months.

    Not everything is in stickies. And it does take a lot of time to search through every post in a given group on the hope that your question may have been posted at some time. Of course with each time a said question is posted, there is always the chance that a new perspective can be brought to light.

    On the whole, I advise patience when ever these repeat topics appear. Answer them if you chose to, which can always make a difference in many cases. But if not, then let it go on its merry way knowing that someone new has joined our merry band.

  6. I agree with Mitch Philbin.
    Besides what he says, I have a feeling that you are probably only losing the visitors that just came for the pretty pictures. The ones that never read the blog. For them there are nowadays so many specialised photo blogs, that they don't have to visit spanking blogs anymore.
    You cannot really be unhappy to lose them. Your real fans are happy if you remain as you are.

  7. Loki -- dear friend, I do appreciate your kind and tactful way of saying "Erica, stop being so damned intolerant." ;-) Thank you.

    Bas -- ah yes, the photo blogs. People love their visuals, don't they. (sigh)

  8. As an old fan but a relatively new reader to your blog here's why I come back. Yes the spanking stories are fun, yes I do enjoy the pictures; of course there's nothing wrong with the product reviews and parodies (which hold a special place in my heart since I'm so jaded). All that aside why I continue to read your blog, and it's true of many of the others I read regularly is I like the person (or persona) behind the posts.

    You can find pictures and stories about bright red butts in all shapes and sizes without much effort. Yours is lovely, and certainly why I know who you you but it's the other things that keep me reading. In a selfish way it's more often the things in your other posts that I relate to. Things like wanting to go to more parties but never quite making it there, balancing multiple relationships, hoping that you'll get to play, and yes even the loss of a partner. So many people spanko's or not use the facade that they are unphased and happy as a clam despite those things. I keep reading you because I identify with your emotions as having been there or somewhere similar.

    As for the numbers and traffic who knows. There are a lot of distractions in the word right now (elections, the economy, etc) but with recent literary successes that have women 18-80 buying what is little more than a BDSM fairytale one would think it's a good time to have a well established blog on spanking. Perhaps you become a voice of reason for a few folks wanting to venture into that world, while it is fun it is also dangerous. Good Luck on whatever you decide.

  9. Michael -- thank you for this. One thing I've always endeavored to be in my blog is real, or as real as I can be without offending, or violating the privacy of others. I can't sugarcoat and I can't pretend; it's not in me. Sometimes, I think sharing the sad stuff is a downer and no one wants to read it. It's good to be reminded that people relate to it.

  10. You rock!
    You're funny as hell and you're as real as the day is long! What more could we ask for? Keep up what you're doing and the days events are what will help you turn a phrase!

    ...,, got a new job!!! (Busy as all get out- love it!)

  11. Zelle -- I MISS YOU! But I'm glad you're MIA for a good reason. Mazel Tov! ♥

  12. Though you've always had a shit ton more traffic than I, I'll say I've noticed in my stats that my own traffic has gone down as well. Don't know what it's about (or what it means). I assumed it was because I'd fallen into a rut and, as you know, I've been trying to de-rut as of late.

    As for your blog? I enjoy your rants. I enjoy your observations. I enjoy your perspective on the scene. You'll get me back again and again with that stuff, the more acerbic and/or funny, the better.

  13. I have said this before. I don't always comment but I always read. Especially when you do get personal. I don't think it's my place to comment on your personal life. But it doesn't mean I don't hope for the best.

    But this time it's personal with me. i would hate to lose this blog. It's the first one I come to. I have learned a great deal when you ask questions of your readers and I was enjoying the common sense blogs you were writing. As far as I'm concerned this is the source for other blogs I'm willing to read. Your stamp of approval means a great deal to me. When it comes to being real you are at the top of the list. Sorry if I got too serious.

    But I'm not going to lie either. I still think you are the perfect brat and I love the pictures of you being spanked as well as the videos. And the list of men that I am jealous of continues to grow.

    But I'm really not worried either. If you do stop we are only a heat wave, a stupid message on Fetlife, or a function with John's family (no offense John) away from your return.


  14. Erica, a few blogs back, you used to tell us stories of bygone Hollywood days, when you were an innercent kid, growing up, with your father. Of TV's early comedians, that came to your household. to have a chat around your fireside. Give us the exclusive scoops like Hedda Hopper, used to do when you starred in those fabulous 'Epic', movies of yesteryear. I love nostalga, and you were at the center of those glorious golden years.

  15. Hi Erica -- I also vote for you to continue your blog :-)I agree with Zelle that YOU ROCK,YOUR FUNNY AS HELL,AND YOU'RE AS REAL AS THE DAY IS LONG :-)WELL SAID ZELLE,I MISSED YOU SO HAPPY YOUR BACK.I enjoy your blog no matter what you write it is GREAT :-)Sure i come here for a laugh cause i love your humor,but it is perfectly ok to be serious,everything can't be about fun all the time :-)I look forward to your blog's and i would be very sad if you didn't write them anymore.YOU ARE NEVER BORING.Much Love and hug's from naughty girl Jade xoxo

  16. Craig -- de-rut; I like that. I'm glad people enjoy my acerbic side. I do try to keep it from getting a little too Lewis Black-ish angry, but I admit, it feels good to rant sometimes!

    Jon -- OK, that last paragraph made me laugh. So true! Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I need attention far too much to quit this blog. I just want to make sure I'm still relevant and somewhat entertaining. Thank you. :-)

    Six -- believe it or not, I've already shared the best of those stories! There weren't as many as you might think. Maybe one of these days, after he has passed on (which I hope won't be for a long time), I'll share who my cousin is and more stories about him. Then again, many of those closest to me know already.

  17. Jade -- sorry; you were posting just as I was posting. :-) And of course you're right; it can't be about fun all the time, even though sometimes I wish it could be.

  18. Erica, I don't have a lot to offer with regard to what you should blog about; but after 9+ years of doing Spanking blog, I'm very sympathetic to your "how to keep it fresh" concern. I always did a lot of pictures, but in the era of Tumblr I sometimes feel like somebody trying to run NASCAR races on a horse when I do picture blogging, and I just don't find much to say (or even, re-blog) in prose that seems at all fresh.

    One thing I can confirm is that traffic seems to be down all over the place. At first I thought it was just me (if my blog is stale, that would be no shock) but my current belief is that the changes are structural. Blogging is not so much a community thing any more; many of its "check back every day and converse in the comments" attributes are vanishing into other more modern social media. And even "websurfing" as an amusement is not quite the big deal it used to be. Among other things, more people are experiencing the internet from inside an ecosystem of smart phone apps where browsing is old-fashioned and finding/hitting tiny little links (designed to be small print even on large screens) is hard.

    As for content, this may sound hypocritical since I don't do a lot of personal blogging, but the parts I like best on your blog are the brash accounts of your play sessions. Profusion of blogs or not, people (in our little fetish community and outside of it) tend not to write all that many detailed and descriptive and honest first-person accounts of their kink experiences. Blogs that have these are rare, and the ones that have them routinely (like yours) are the ones I find myself going back to most often.

    1. Dan: Your observations seem spot on the money.

  19. Dan -- thank you for stopping by. I think you're right, although that makes me sad. I do hope the whole community of blogging doesn't fade out; granted, it's overkill out there, but there are still many voices I'd hate to go away. I agree that browsing on a smart phone is a pain in the ass (although I don't regret getting one), which is why I'm Old School, still with a desktop and a large screen.

    Thank you for the vote of confidence on my personal accounts. It's reassuring to hear that people still do take the time to read stories, even in this day of short attention spans and quickie info bites. :-)

  20. Erica, one thing you may want to keep in mind is that not everyone belongs to FetLife. Things that may have been discussed to death over there may be brand new to someone reading only blogs. That doesn't mean you should post about it, if it is something that will get you to shoot yourself in the foot to dull the pain. But if it is a topic you enjoy then your readers will enjoy it also.

    I enjoy your stories of your personal adventures, and your snarky attitude. Write what you like, its your blog. It needs to make you happy.

  21. I thought I'd run out of topics after a year, but little wonder that you think you have after that many posts. coupla ideas:
    1)feel free to talk about non-spanking related stuff, and your take on it. You have a bunch of hard core fans, and I bet they'd love to hear your take on other stuff too.
    2)When you DO talk about spanking related stuff... feel free to ruffle some feathers. Let your real opinions out- I imagine that you've done plenty of self-censoring because well, you're Erica Scott and you have this blog audience that reads you and you want to appeal to them... but let go. Maybe you talk about sexual feelings related to spankings, or having gas and trying to hold it in... whatever... those things you keep yourself from saying... let it all hang out. Just a thought.
    3) maybe become a guiding hand for newbies. As I've said before you have some gravitas when it comes to the spanking community, and that's maybe why it would be hard for you to dive too deep into option 2) above... but your Common Sense type posts and your party reports are widely viewed and appreciated by newbies... maybe you could emphasize becoming their guide.
    4) Dan's post above is in many ways spot-on. Not too many women that get spanked every week; a tiny sliver of those blog about it. Please appreciate that and don't ever give up on writing about your sessions.
    Just some thoughts, hope they're appreciated.

  22. Congratulations on your book release! That is great.

    Ratings are bizarre. My hits went through the roof for a post I didn't think was that great, and sometimes they drop even when I loved my post. There's no real reason.

    I get a lot of my blogging topics by visiting other blogs, commenting, and having discussion with people there.

  23. Erica- Do not give up. Yours is one I read regularly.

    Many of the comments above about the pictures are correct, tumblr does them to death. Fetlife is great in its own way, but it is not a blog and because there has been so much posted, finding the older threads is not easy when you do not know your way around.

    Just keep being your yourself- funny, sassy, serious at times and more important entertaining.

    As for the videos, I hope the Spanking Court wants you back for further trials of Erica.....

  24. I saw you published your book today through Blushing Books - congrats on the new release! I look forward to reading it!

  25. I enjoy reading your comments, attitude and general outlook on life.

    If you want to generate a new line of stories and/or comments, that come out of your comfort zone and try being a top. Yu have the sttitude, the knowledge and what a great bunch of stories you would have. Good experiences as well as bad. I could see you giveng both Danas and Sarah a run for the money.

    Keep writing it's great.

  26. Wel, Erica, first and foremost: I am happy that this site is there!
    I must admit that somehow I sense that you have increasingly embedding the spanking part in the love and life part; which to me at least makes the blog more meaningful.

  27. I must tell you that your blog is the first one I started reading as a newbie and then I emailed you after a while. You wrote back and we have kept in contact since.

    I check here every day to read what you have written and the comments. I would say that a at least half of what I have learned came from your blog and emails. You have been a mentor to me, though you may not have known it. I love reading your wit, your snark, and wisdom. You are a gifted women with much left to say. We will be here to listen.

  28. Kaki -- I suppose I could do my own private FetLife snarking over here a bit more. Sometimes, it really is kind of insane over there!

    SS -- absolutely, they are appreciated, and it's good to see you. :-) ALL good points worth pondering. I do try to strike a balance between being honest and being tactful. I don't want to run roughshod over people's feelings, although sometimes it seems I do anyway. One of the very first blogs I wrote on here (about switching, naturally) erupted into a massive flame war with an anonymous poster. I damn near quit blogging right then. Instead, I learned to be a bit more careful.

    Ana -- it's out? YAYYYY! I didn't get a notification. I'll have to go look! :-D

    LB -- thank you. I was hoping to go back to Spanking Court, but it's been nearly a year since I was last there and so far, no word of a return. (sigh) But I'll keep hoping.

    Renee -- well, it's sort of a "new old" release. It's the books I've already self-published, but BB wanted to sell them as well. Having worked with Bethany several years ago, I was more than happy to do so again!

    Anonymous -- you're right, it would generate a whole lot of posts, comments, and even a new video career if I topped. But I'd feel like I was selling my soul. I absolutely cannot top. I can TALK toppy, but physically cause pain to another? No.

    MrJ -- I admit, I enjoy writing about spanking the most! :-)

    Bobbie Jo -- that comment is a keeper (as are all of these). Thank you so much. ♥

  29. I understand that fear of redundancy and relevancy, but you don't have to worry. Even if you were to cover a topic that you have addressed in the past, there will be people who never saw the original posts. There are new spankos appearing everyday, and the world of spanking--aka the "scene"-- can be overwhelming for newcomers.

    I did a lot of web surfing before I discovered your blog and have been here ever since! It is unusual to find the level of authenticity and humanity that you project. I love your posts--even the vanilla ones. Keep doing what you're doing and stop worrying about being boring!


  30. I forgot to ask--
    What's the name of your book that just came out? I loved "Late Bloomer" and may even read it again someday. Congratulations on the new book! Can we find it on Amazon?

  31. Dear Erica

    I would like to add one more vote that you keep blogging. There are so many new blogs every week it makes me a little dizzy but I always like to see what Erica is up to. My own little blog is almost 2 years old and traffic grows but my initial exposure I can blame on one person, Chross, he suggested that I share my archives and the rest, well you know. I like to think that there is some interest in the drivel I produce but would not be surprised to see zero traffic Monday morning. Been freelance for over, well a long time and have been incredibly lucky doing what I love and getting paid for it. If you like please check out this post



  32. Dana -- thank you. It's true that there will always be new readers who haven't heard the stories before. But for those who have been with me for a long time, I want to keep things fresh, you know? Oh, I don't have a new book. It's still Late Bloomer. Blushing Books has picked it up and is now selling it on their site. I'm hoping it will get a fresh crop of readers there, since the site is quite popular.

    Emanuele -- I think that has to be one of the most satisfying things in life; doing what you love AND getting paid for it! :-)

  33. Erica ~

    I so enjoy your blog. It is literally the first site I visit daily. I look forward to reading your blog so much that I make sure I have my coffee, my breakfast and a block of time available so I can enjoy your posts without interruption. I know I very seldom comment, but believe me, I read your blog religiously. Your writing allows me to experience warmth and joy. It is thought-provoking and. emotionally touching, as well as exciting. Whatever the subject matter, you touch my heart. Thank you for allowing me to peek into your life. If it were up to me, I'd experience the gift of you forever.

    Katie (y'know, of Razor & Katie :-) tee hee!)

  34. Erica, the subject may be "old", but your voice never is. You find ways to share that keep your blog fresh & alive. I wouldn't change a thing, if I were you.


  35. I am a faithful reader, and it never gets old. Your voice and writing style are wholly unique. I like the snarks and the funny insights! Your story-telling is amazing, and if I got 1/10th of the blog traffic you do, I would be nutty with happiness. You've cobbled together what looks to be an amazing group of followers, and with all the blogs to choose from these days, that is incredible. So keep it up!

  36. Ah, bloggers remorse. I feel it all the time too. Hang in there. We love you.

  37. Katie -- hey, girl! So happy to see you. Thank you, much love to you, and please do give Razor a big ol' hug for me. :-)

    Pink -- ♥ you!

    Colleen -- we go back to MySpace, don't we. Thank you for sticking with me! :-)

    Andy -- remorse? Nahhhh. Actually trying to AVOID the remorse by not growing stale (or striking out in a direction that people don't like). :-D

  38. Erica

    I really like your blog I read it regularly. I like the wit and the lifestyle wish i had your life and love John sounds special. It is about is your blog.

    I love your publishing of guys who are un-sure??? how to talk to a lady or female. I was going to make up something stupid and send it to you to see if i could make the list. But alas beneath me so we will have to imagine it. My shame will remain inside....hahahaha

    keep at it writing is hard it takes work and the critics are vicious cruel and malicious plus do they get it? Roland Barthes suggests the control of a writer over their writing is lost once they writ it for people to read. The power is exchanged to the reader.

    PS I would like to spank you but i would buy you dinner first and put up your panties and pull down your dress/skirt afterwards.Them kiss you good bye (do i make the list?): )

  39. erica

    my email is

    in case I have to answer for my sins and spelling mistakes or worse wrong words...


  40. I don't feel your blog gets stale at all. I like the rants (scene stuff or otherwise), insight into your vanilla life, descriptions of your scenes, and through it all your humor. The topic isn't the pull. Regular readers come back because we like YOU.

    I also agree with Dan about blog stats and reasoning behind them. I don't check mine all that often anymore but I think blogs have taken a hit as technology pushes in other directions like Twitter. A lot of people just don't take the time to read something well thought out and they are the ones losing out.

  41. Brent -- (laughing) Do you make the CHoS? Nah. You tried too hard. ;-) But riddle me this -- why is your email name Ken if your name is Brent?

    Lea -- yeahhhh, screw 'em! :-) But thanks for saying y'all like me. I feel just like Sally Field. (and yes, that reference dates me)

    1. Erica

      what you willing to do for the answer for the riddle?

      Now can I make CHoS?

      I am adopted so my birth name is Ken Cohen. My adopted name is Brent. I reunited with my birth family met my real mom and all her brothers and sisters huge family.

      so the riddle is interesting and complex and personal upheaval. But soooo rewarding...

      well spanking is all about opportunity so until we meet you'll just have to imagine it.


  42. Erica,

    Just keep doing what your doing. We love to visit and blogland just wouldn't be the same with you. Don't worry about your blog hits everyone's are down, it happens every now and then. Not sure why though.


  43. Ronnie -- thank you. That seems to be the general consensus, so I will heed it.

  44. I stopped my blog a long time ago because I wanted massive, instant feedback. That wasn't the reason to be writing anything, let a lone a blog. So I say if writing here makes you happy, that's all one can really ask for. I can say the fact that you write here makes US happy.

  45. Maguffin -- thanks, hon. As a proud member of the Attention Whore Club, you know I love the feedback. But yes, it needs to be fulfilling first and foremost.