I was thinking about this -- words before and during the spanking are well covered. But I can't recall if anyone has written about what we bottoms like to hear afterward.
Anyone who knows me, knows how I feel about aftercare. It is essential; as important a component of a good spanking scene as technique, chemistry, implement selection or anything else. Of course, aftercare means different things to different players. For some, it's sexual, which is lovely. Because I tend to be a hard player and immerse myself emotionally in a scene, my particular preference in aftercare is tenderness. My hard outer shell has been cracked off and my vulnerability exposed. The treatment I receive, in those minutes right after the spanking concludes, contains tremendous power. It can either put me back together again or crush me.
Being held and caressed, tenderly soothed, doesn't just feel good physically, it's reassuring emotionally. It makes us feel loved and forgiven. We took what we were given and we took it well. It's time for kindness.
What do you like to hear your top say during this time?
Perhaps some prefer silence, and that's OK too. I like that as well. But I do love to hear my top's voice. Quiet, kind, his words stilling my turmoil.
It doesn't have to be much; in fact, my mind is mush for a while and cannot absorb anything detailed. If I'm crying, shaking, breathing rapidly, my fists clenching and unclenching as I ride waves of emotion and pain, then something as simple as a sweetly whispered "shhhhhhhh..." will do it.
"Good girl" is always welcome. "It's OK." "It's over now." "That's my girl." Such simple words, and so invaluable.
When Danny and I were play partners, a favorite thing of his to say to me afterward was, "Is my sweet Erica back now?"
"Yes," I'd murmur, unable to look at him. I can never look up, at first. I keep my face buried.
"Good, because I love her very much," he'd reply. I could be wickedly prickly, bitchy, sarcastic and sharp-tongued, but after he took me to task, I was forgiven. And I was always loved.
Craig always called me "baby." That word, in the wrong context, can be unbearably condescending. But the way he said it, at just the right time, made me feel protected and warm, much like the fur blanket he wrapped around me those cold nights at the Lair.
New Guy's aftercare? As sweet as he is, which is very, very sweet indeed. :-)
When I hand myself over to a top, I am giving him my trust. I am, with my actions, saying, "You can inflict pain on me, and I will take it willingly. I am brave for you, because I know I am safe in your hands." Afterward, when I'm spent, throbbing and feeling laid bare, one of the most touching, loving phrases for me is "I'm so proud of you."
Yes. Thank you. I like it when I've made you proud. Hearing that, and feeling a gentle kiss on my hair, my face, a comforting hand... those are the moments where the world could end and I'd exit blissfully.
Fellow bottoms -- does this resonate? What are your beloved aftercare phrases?
