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Monday, December 29, 2014

The good, the bad, and the @#$%ing insane

I've been quiet for a few days; haven't had much to say, really. Christmas came and went, I had a cold, things were quiet. I'm feeling a bit better and am heading back to the gym this morning for the first time in a week. Planning on seeing Steve tomorrow. All good stuff.

I could write for the next hour about what went down in the past four days, but I'll encapsulate the "bad and the @#$%ing insane" into two words: John's sisters.

The madness that I predicted over the tangible goods in John's mother's estate erupted in a big way this week, with a series of events and fights that were ugly and melodramatic. I can't go into the details, because once I do, it will spiral into a bigger and bigger mess of details, and I really don't want to do that here. Suffice it to say that it's come down to a sharp and deep chasm, with John's sisters, his brother-in-law, and his niece and her husband on one side, and John, his brother and sister-in-law on the other. 

It's as if removing the mother from the picture, took away the last bastion of pseudo-civility with this family; specifically, the sisters. Now it's become a free-for-all and all the hostilities are out in the open. As well as the greed and the selfishness. True colors were seen, and cannot be unseen.

"Family" should be a four-letter word.

Who knows... maybe this will all blow over, and they'll go back to pretending. But I think John's eyes have been forever forced open. And if anything good can come of this mess, it will be that we can finally be rid of his sisters, and he will grow closer with his brother and sis-in-law, who have turned out to be the only other sane ones in the bunch. After 18 1/2 years of my putting up with the whole effed-up bunch, it would be sweet relief to finally have it pared down to one manageable couple.

Poor John. However, don't feel too bad. Underneath all the stress and pain, I do believe he's feeling a sense of relief. He told me at one point this weekend: "I feel like I'm just starting to wake up from a nightmare." And on Saturday night, for the first time in I don't know how long, he slept straight through the night. 

And last night on the phone, in the midst of the insanity, his brother told me that when it comes time for John's surgery, he and his wife will be there for us for support and whatever else we need. Far cry from John's eldest sister, who said, "I don't believe Johnny has a heart condition. He's making it up."

Fucking bitch.

Anyway. I hope to get back to some fun soon, kids. It's been a really messed-up couple of weeks. I hope to have some fun on-topic stuff soon. But in the meantime, thanks for sticking around. For everyone whose holiday season wasn't all sugarplums, hang in there. And for those who did have fun, who were with loved ones who treated you well, awesome. Because life really is too short to waste even a minute with people who suck the very marrow out of your bones.


  1. So one of the sisters doesn't think John has a heart problem. She needs a trip out behind a barn somewhere...cane applied in freezing cold! (I'm being kind here. LOL)

    Big (((HUGS))) to you and I hope tomorrow will help ease some of the nonsense. <3

  2. Bobbie Jo -- you know, that's too good for her! Both his sisters are beyond dreadful.

    1. As I said, I was being kind. ;-)

  3. Hi Erica,
    Families appear to be totally F&*#^ed sometimes. I just had the Christmas from hell; when my Mother announced that she has cancer and at 85 years is not expected to be able to cope with Chemo the brother, sister and grandchildren immediately had that predatory look in their eyes. My other brother, apparently the only sane one, quietly affirmed later his and my stated position....if there are any fighting we would just walk away.
    I feel for your "pain" and wish somehow John could have his operation and with a big magic wand it can all be made better. Hopefully next year will bring a resolution and some blessed relief. Until then my prayers and the blessings of all the Buddhas are with you. Please try to have a wonderful and relaxing New Year and despite the madness in the world there are many who hold you in their heart.

  4. John seems like a kinder more patient person than I could EVER be. In the past I permanently cut ties with poisonous relatives and truly believe once a person makes the decision it becomes easier to do so as needed.
    It taught me to value the people who care about me even more so...but with both eyes wide open to see those who have bad intentions toward me.

  5. Don -- oh, I'm so sorry about your mother. :-( And yes, I know that look. John's older sister swooped in like a vulture with that look. It's horrible.

    Kelly -- John has always had a loyalty to family, no matter how rotten they are, that I couldn't understand. I think he yearned for his to be better, which is so sad.

  6. We definitely had our share of drama this week, but for the most part, everything went okay. I'm sorry that so many of us have been having a rough time recently. Here's to hoping the new year will bring better days for us all.

  7. Unfortunately, we do not pick our family. But we may ignore part of it as much as possible. The good news for you and John seems that, once this matter has settled down, ignoring will have become a lot easier. Hugs

  8. I know what you are going thru. My 98 year old father died several weeks ago.(mom died seven years ago) But I must say that my sister, a royal bitch, has actually finally been good about things. thankfully I am in control and knowledgable (my parents made me the executor) about the finances and am patiently explaining things to her about the investments and pushing her to get paperwork done. Back to her being a bitch, she had lifted stuff from my parent's home for years and would display it in her house, as if my wife and I would never know. I don't trust her and that is being kind. However, I do have a wonderful sister in law in The Netherlands who is very understanding, insightful, and supportive. Families are difficult but as others say, you don't get to pick your family, but you do have to deal with them through difficult times. Between my bitch sister and taking care of Dad's finances and paying his bills and selling his house, I have been under a lot of stress, which now is pretty much dissipated. My wife has been my rock throughout the whole many years and of course, keeping with the overall theme of this blog, spanked me on a regular basis.
    Hang in there Erica. It will all get better in time.

  9. MrJ -- I am certainly hoping so.

    Baxter -- I'm so sorry about your father, and for all the stress you're enduring. You know, it's wretched enough dealing with a death in the family without having difficult relatives making it worse. But I'm glad you have your support systems, as I have mine. This too shall pass, as they say.

  10. One wonders how John turned out to be the good man he is and his sisters did not get the same message. Families are or can be problematic in the best of times. I keep mine firmly at a distance or have set up boundaries to keep myself sane. Sorry to hear of your's & John's losses at the holiday season. Best wishes for a happy, safe & HEALTHY 2015 for you both.

    Still An Admirer

  11. Admirer -- thank you. Yeah, I'm not sure where John came from. I told him this weekend that, if he didn't look so much like his siblings, I would have thought his mother had an affair.

  12. Hi Erica -- I am so very sorry that,John and you are going through all this :-( Even at a sad time like this Johns sisters have to be cruel :-( That's not right at all.For one of his sister's,to say that he doesn't have a heart problem is very mean and pathetic :-( his family is being greedy about money and material things, I would cut my arm off to have my Grandmother and Grandfather and my aunt and uncles back :-( To me material things and money don't mean nothing.What matters the most is having your loved ones alive and with you.My Christmas sucked :-( It felt strange not having my Grandmother and the rest of my family around. Wishing you and John a good 2015 :-) I sure hope the new year is better for me because 2013 and 2014 both TOTALLY SUCKED :-( Much Love and hugs always from naughty girl Jade/ Emily Jean

  13. Jade -- I hope you have a better 2015, too.

  14. Well said Erica. I wish you an awesome year, filled with friends, work that you enjoy, health and all the little things that we sometimes forget to be grateful for. And thank you for sharing yourself with us, with me, on your blog. Jon
    PS Drive safely tonight.

  15. Was it Mark Twain who said "You can choose your friends but not your relatives"?
    John has a good friend in you, his sister really deserves a hard spanking.

  16. Jon -- thanks, and same to you. Don't worry, I shall.

    John -- for someone like her, I can't even wish that on her, since it brings me pleasure and I don't want her to have any pleasure. :-Þ

  17. Well I hope your John's health improves. All the best to both of you for the New Year.

  18. As John gets the surgery he needs, the best recovery will be having a woman who loves him by his side! He is lucky to have you.
    Nothing brings out the petty side in people like settling an estate. Just remember karma is a funny thing. John may well have the last laugh.
    Our family puts the FUN back into dysFUNction.......;) LOL


  19. John -- thank you.

    Poppa -- honestly, I hope karma bites his sisters hard. They have been monstrous.