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Monday, April 11, 2011

Erica's Helpful Hints -- the Monday edition

Greetings, readers. Tonight I present some suggestions about what you might not want to do during a spanking (or maybe you might, as I did -- snicker), courtesy of New Guy and me and tonight's festivities.

When you're over his knee, it's probably not a good time to laugh at him when he calls you a smarty-pants. You might end up a smarty no-pants. (No, I can't take credit for that; he's the one who said it.)

And don't let him stick the camera in your face as your head is dangling toward the floor.

So attractive.

Even though you think your readers may be bored with the ottoman pictures week after week, be careful what you ask for. He may put you in a much more uncomfortable position.

Oh, and this probably isn't the best idea either...

When he finally lets you up from that godawful kneeling-in-chair position, it's probably not to your best interest to express your gratitude by blurting, "You suck!!"

You'll just end up in yet another position.

And when you're in this position and he's hovering over you, oh, it's soooo tempting... but resist the urge to lift your heel and verrry gently but strategically place it where it would send him through the ceiling if you were to kick. You may find yourself counting strap strokes and repeating after each one: "That was a really bad idea."

What else... oh! When he's futzing around with the camera, which means he's taking a break from smacking you, shut up about it! Don't heave a sigh and groan, "Oh, get on with it already, for God's sake."

And finally -- When he says, "Hey, I just got an idea!" don't answer, "Did it hurt?"

(Aaaaack! It's the dreaded mush-butt!)

This concludes tonight's Helpful Hints. You're welcome.


  1. I love how you two have such a great relationship. You can have fun (well by fun you know what I mean) Mondays like this or not so fun Mondays like last week. You two have wonderful chemistry with each other and it's so great that you share that with us.

    ps- Eeek, cringe, ah in regards to the mush butt.

  2. Oh Good woman, you, I sure hope you never ever learn your lesson. You are MUCHO hilarious and in peak BRAT form I must say. Nothing says I love you QUITE like a delicate middle finger sticking up.

    Never had to pose in the kneeling position. THAT does look like it's not a fun position. Kicking your leg backwards at NG, though, may...or may not be the best choice! :) :)

  3. There's nothing I love better than the sassy, enlightening banter that transpires between me and my play partner... but you damn sure cross the sassy, AND, enlightenment boundaries.. you manage to "energize" a Top so much that he turns into a freakin' McGiver to spank you! Such innovation you create in your Tops! And man, that sounds like something I think I want to emulate!


  4. Hey, I remember that song from the Ames Brothers!

    "B!! I say B-U! B-U-T! B-U-T-T! BUTT! B-U-T-T, butt, butt, butt, butt! M! I say, M-U! M-U-S! M-U-S-H! MUSH! M-U-S-H B-U-T-T, Mush Butt, Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah!! Mush Butt, Doo-doo-doo-DAH-dee-ah-dah!! ETC"

    (For you Youngsters having a WTF Moment, here's a version of the original song! That ain't the Ames Bros, though. HERE are the Ameseseses, doing "The Naughty Ldy Of Shady Lane!" Which may or may not be apropos.

    Speaking of po-pos, and the spanking thereof, I must say this is another fine entry! The earlier vids were dramatic and then some, but for humor, it's going to be hard to beat that face-to-the-floor shot, dear and hilarious, and the ones with pants-off for smartin' (HAR) are just adorable!

    Thanks, Erica!!

  5. Ah, phooey, I messed up the hypertextmessup language-- here's what I was trying to link! Tsk.

  6. Great pictures Erica.

  7. Hi Erica you are so freakin funny hehehe all i did was laugh while reading this :-) you really know how to cheer me up, thank's for sharing. I Love your pic's they are ADORABLE, The one of you giving the finger had me in stitch's hehehe i think i am going to try that after i get spanked. the one of you kneeling and laying across the chair looks VERY uncomfortable, I dare you to kick him in the nut's to see what happen's hehehe you might crack them. I better watch out what i say cause NG reads this he will want to spank me for writing this. Love you big hugs always from your naughty girl Jade xoxo


    Looks like you had some real fun last night! Great pictures, too. My you have long fingers! Love the slender finger gesture. Hehehe!

  9. My eyes are still jigglin from the "mush-butt" shot ;-D You have a cute bottom , mush butt included .
    However that slinder finger gesture would be a mmmaaaaaaaajjjjor nono with me .

    Ya know you have waaaaayyy to much fun for someone getting her bottom spanked . ;-)

  10. Darling C -- we do have our fun!

    Ms. Scarlett -- uh oh. Why do I get the feeling there are tops out there who will be cursing me? :-D

    Kelly -- the kneeling-on-top-of-chair position blows. Not flattering, either -- I chucked or cut off most of the pictures in that position because my legs looked all cellulite-y.

    Zelle -- Oooh, McGiver! (perking up) Hey, it's just a service I provide... motivation! :-)

    Dave -- you mean, you don't? ;-) ROFLMAO at the song reference! Oh my God... I remember Ragg Mopp! Gawd, I'm old. Now I'm going to be humming that damn song all day...

    Joeyred -- thanks!

    Jade -- lol... no, honey. No kicking. I wouldn't want to hurt him; he might not come back!

    Bobbie Jo -- I have piano-player fingers; I played when I was very young. Now, I guess my fingers have other uses. :-D

    Alan -- it's supposed to be fun. Well, sometimes, anyway. :-)

  11. He has an uber-hard hand and I think you have an uber-hard bottom - I think you are made to be spanking partners.
    Somehow I also think the world is a little safer with you two matched up.
    (I dreamt about your book last night- it was great and there was a Keith Jones segment that you would not even begin to believe.)

  12. Poppy -- well now. Keith is definitely in my book, what with all our video collaborations and play over the years, buuuuuuuuut... no steamy-dreamy stuff! :-D I do think you'll enjoy my own detailed description of a lengthy caning he gave me once.

  13. When he says, "Hey, I just got an idea!" don't answer, "Did it hurt?"

    LOL! Thanks for sharing. I'm really going to have to keep myself from using that one. :-)

  14. Lea -- a variation on that is if he says, "I'm thinking," don't answer, "Don't hurt yourself."

    Just trying to be helpful. :-)

  15. Yes, I like these pointers. They'll help me if I ever find myself in a dry spell. :)

  16. Pink -- (snicker) From what I read of your adventures with D, I don't see that happening!

  17. Ah yes, Erica, you're always well equipped with quips to keep your Top on his toes, and your bum well reddened. Thanks very much for the big smiles. :-)

  18. Devlin -- yup, the top is on his toes and I'm off my feet. Funny how that works. :-D

  19. This is a Monday, gawd what you must get up to on weekends.


  20. Emanuele -- LOL... depends on the weekend. Oftentimes, mine are rather quiet, just hanging out with my sweetheart.

  21. Damn! I have read this way to late...(SIGH)



  22. Raven -- you can save them for another time!