(sigh)

New Guy has a bad cold. I kinda had a feeling... usually on Monday morning, he drops me an email to tease me a bit about what's coming later. This morning, I didn't hear from him... and then I got email from him in the early afternoon, when he's usually at work. :-(  Poor guy was sick all weekend and he didn't want to take a chance of spreading it to me.

Wish I could make him some chicken soup or something. Oh, wait. That's right... I don't cook. Never mind. I'll just have to send my best wishes and recovery thoughts.

So, what's a girl to do while she waits for her top to feel better? Post more pictures!

I have some goofy ones from the opening of the Nervous-Neglected-Wife-Hires-a-Prostitute video. My character has never done anything like this before, you understand, and Sarah's character is trying to put her at ease. Before Hubby comes home unexpectedly, she attempts a bit of seduction:

Naturally, when we were shooting these stills, K and Paul were hooting and hollering (I swear, men are so juvenile), so Sarah and I started hamming it up...

And then, of course we both lost it.

Here's me playing innocent and sweet (after I've practically thrown Sarah behind the bed) when Paul surprises me by coming home early...

And Sarah just had to make a little more mischief.

Hummmppph. :-)

Here's the frustrated teacher and the bratty schoolgirl. I love Sarah's expression -- "WTF do you want from me??"

Check out Paul's expression here -- ("Do I love my job? Oh HELL yeah!")

And just for the hell of it, here's another picture of Max, because he's so darn cute:

Keep your eye on Sarah's blog as well... she's got a whole lot of stuff going on, but I know she'll be writing about our adventures as well. (Oh, and psssssst... on February 5, somebody's having a birthday.) :-)

I'm still not fully back to reality yet. I can't believe I was there for only four-and-a-half days; we crammed so much into them. I'm waiting for a drop like I get after parties; hasn't happened so far, so maybe I'll get lucky and dodge it.

I do miss New Guy, though. Take good care, darlin'. :-)

Weekend + a couple of pictures

Hope everyone had a nice weekend! I was so jet-lagged and loopy on Friday, I stayed home that evening, but went to John's yesterday morning instead. It was fun to catch him up on all the adventures and stories. He was enjoying it all and kept asking for more. Poor baby had dental work done, so he was in a fair amount of discomfort; I'm glad I could distract him. Still has the rash, but says the itching is lessening slowly. I so want him to feel good again...

Sheesh! I take a few days off from blogging and my stats plunge. Ah well, I guess if you don't write, people don't come, 'cause there's nothing new to read. OK, I'll do my best to get the interest back up again. How about a couple more pictures from last week?

These are from the snotty waitress scenario -- Paul the annoyed customer taking me to task:

Facial reaction angle:

And here's a rarity -- me, exhibiting contrition (isn't Sarah's dress cute?):

This one is from the "hooker" shoot -- can you believe those handprints??

Paul had a case of dry skin happening on his right palm on Wednesday; I offered him some lotion, and he scoffed, "Nah, I don't want to smell like a girl." Men! So he kept on going, and when we wrapped, his skin had broken in about six places, tiny little splits.

Ouch! See the little cuts at the base of his fingers? So there were K and Sarah, fussing over him, asking if he was OK, offering him skin balm, ice, etc. Hello?? Sore butt over here! :-D

I have several photos of Sarah and me, and of the three of us, but I want to run them by Sarah first to make sure she's OK with my posting them.

Meanwhile, New Guy is coming over tomorrow; it's been two weeks and he says his hand is itching for some action. I seem to be fully recovered, except I have a bit of "sandpaper butt." So I'm loading up with Gold Bond Mega-Ultra-Healing cream. I missed him!

Back to the gym tomorrow too, after not going for a week. Can't say I missed that. Some day they'll invent a pill we can take that will tone our muscles while we sprawl on the couch watching trash TV and eating peanut-butter Oreos.

Well, it's a nice dream, anyway. Right up there with finding an anti-wrinkle cream that does everything its ads promise. You know it doesn't really exist, but you still keep hoping!

Back tomorrow to report on the Monday evening festivities. :-D

Back home -- it's catch-up time!

I have so much to write about and so many pictures to share, I don't know where to start! But I guess I should just jump in and start somewhere.

I had so, so, SO much fun, I really didn't want to leave! But I know I had to get back to real life. For a little while, it was suspended: No gym, no chores or errands, no bills to pay... just fun and silliness and work/play. Our host K and Paul and Sarah were so good to me and I enjoyed them all a great deal. Not to mention the doggies!

You know, Paul and Sarah have so many irons in the fire, it's a little confusing to try to explain just what I worked on. Paul has the one big project, which I believe he's going to call Spanking 101 -- that's the sort of instructional series, tons of clips with voiceovers. But he also has clips he is uploading called Spanking Shorts. Plus, Sarah is shooting content for her own site.

So, on Monday, I shot five clips -- two were for Spanking 101 and three were for Spanking Shorts. On Wednesday, the three of us shot three longer clips, which will go up on Sarah's site. We were going to do one more for Spanking 101, but I was absolute toast by then and knew I couldn't give it justice. No worries, Paul said. They're going to be shooting this stuff for the next several months and they'll have me back for more! :-)

Wednesday, the first two shoots were a bit more complex. In the first one, we had an authentic schoolroom setup with old-fashioned desks -- Sarah played a bratty student of a fancy private school and I was her teacher, frustrated because she just failed a test, getting every single answer wrong. I keep her after class, and she's so snippy with me, we end up getting in a shouting match. Then Principal Paul hears the ruckus, comes in and spanks Sarah for her disrespect to me... then spanks ME for not handling her properly! We both get bent over the desk for yardstick swats as well.

The second one is realllllllly bizarre, but you'll have to admit, it's original! :-) I play Paul's wife, and I'm frustrated because he never, um, pleases me sexually. So I hire a prostitute (Sarah) with the idea that getting pleasure from a male hooker would be cheating, but not from a woman. (How's that for rationale?? LOL) Anyway, I give her $100 and just when she's about to take off her dress and get started, my husband comes home unexpectedly. Of course, he spanks both his wife AND the hooker.

In the third, Paul and Sarah play guests at a Bed & Breakfast, and I'm a snotty waitress. Sarah leaves to get the car and Paul stays to give the waitress a special "tip."

Sarah has more clothes and costumes than I've ever seen before all in one place. They shoot often at K's house and she has bags and boxes and drawers and closets stuffed with everything you could imagine! In one large suitcase, nearly as big as the one where I packed my clothes, she has shoes alone... pairs and pairs and pairs. So I was able to borrow a dress from her for the waitress scenario, since I didn't have anything that worked. She found an adorable schoolgirl outfit, but she had no idea where all her socks were, so I loaned her a pair of white socks. Oh, and she also very thoughtfully brought along a bagful of warm sweaters for me in case I needed them.

On Wednesday night when we were all done, the four of us went out to a wonderful seafood place to celebrate. Damn, that was fun! We stuffed ourselves (I hadn't been eating much all week, due to shooting, but now I could forget about that), and I even had lobster. Paul insisted; he said I should get something I wouldn't normally get, and if I liked lobster, now was the time to get it, being in New England. I haven't had it for years... oh God, it was so good.

It started snowing (again!) while we were at the restaurant, so when we went to the car, it was falling. Paul and Sarah were laughing at me because I was so fascinated with it, lifting my face to the sky, dancing around, grinning like a silly child. Well, you know, I'm a California girl. The last time I saw snow falling, I was 13! Oh, and when we were leaving the house and walking to the car, for some reason, I thought I was stepping up on something and instead plunged my foot down into a snowbank, up past my knee. Paul nearly fell over, he was laughing so hard. Sometimes I am such a dork! Oh, and I forgot to mention this -- when Paul, K and I went out to eat the night before, I put on a black knitted cap I'd brought. Everyone told me I had to have a hat. K gave me a down jacket and I put my own (unlined) coat over that, and then the hat -- I looked like Nanook of the North. Paul and K laughed so much at my hat, I took it off and never put it back on again! LOL... screw the cold. I looked like an idiot in that thing.

Yesterday was a bit rough; we all thought at first that my 1:15 flight out of Hartford would be canceled, since all the morning flights had been. But it wasn't, so K got me there a little after noon (I was panicking at first, since you have to get to LAX at least two hours in advance, but all three of them assured me it wasn't the case here). I checked in, had enough time to get a bottle of water and a Connecticut magnet and boarded.

In Dallas/Fort Worth, I was supposed to have a two-hour layover. However, at the gate they asked if I wanted an earlier flight. I was so tired and spacy by then, I said yes, not thinking clearly. Yeah, I'd save an hour on this end... but then at the other end, I'd have to wait longer for my luggage. (groan) Not only that, but the luggage was delayed! So even though I got to LAX earlier than planned, I had to wait an hour and 20 minutes for my damn suitcase. And you know what's weird? There are chairs all over the airport... EXCEPT in the baggage claim area. All those people waiting for their luggage, and there is not one seat of any kind to be found. I got so tired, I ended up just sitting on the floor, leaning up against a pole.

Finally got my bag, dragged myself over to the SuperShuttle terminal and got my ride. Of course, on the freeway heading for home, there was a massive accident and everything came to a halt. AAAAGGGGGHHH! Our driver cleverly maneuvered us off the freeway, took a detour for a few miles and then got back on the freeway ahead of the accident. Mercifully, even though there were four of us in the vehicle, he took me home first. Relief... it was 10 P.M. To me, it felt like 1 A.M. But I'd made it.

The one casualty? I left my cell phone at K's. I borrowed someone's cell at the airport to call and tell him -- he's mailing it to me.

Sarah loaded hundreds of photos onto three CDs for me. Unfortunately, one of the CDs was corrupted and I couldn't copy any of the pictures on it, but I've written to her and asked if she would please send me just a few of the shots on it. I'm kind of bummed, because on that CD there were some incredible shots of the snow that she took with her telephoto lense, plus a very cute shot of me with the two dogs. But it's OK. I have plenty of others on the other two CDs.

I have to go through all the spanking photos and select ones I like, reduce and crop them, etc. But in the meantime, here are some fun vanilla shots. Hope you like them!

The adorable Sarah Gregory and yours truly (wearing Sarah's sweatshirt):

Sarah, Paul and me:

Sarah, showing how unbelievably flexible she is (yes, she has both legs behind her head):

And here's me, attempting to do the same thing and failing miserably:

Here is Cocoa, the Doberman. Look how cute -- she has one pointy ear and one droopy one!

And here is Max -- I wanted to bundle him into my bag and take him home:

And finally, here's a view of the snow behind K's house, although it's nowhere near as good as the shots Sarah got:

After I go through the photos, I'll post more shoot-specific details with pictures. But for now, like I said, this is just catch-up. And I have to catch up on all the other blogs too!

Gotta head for the post office now and pick up my mail. Have a great weekend, y'all.

Hi from Connecticut!

Hey guys! Today we are taking a day off from shooting (Sarah has other appointments, and my butt could use a break anyway), so this is catch-up time. Reading email, trying to catch up somewhat with other blogs and with FetLife posts, and of course, updating here.

I'll start with this and then backtrack: I'm having a blast! :-)

Got up at 2:00 a.m. on Sunday for a 3:30 pickup. I had determined I was going to cram everything I had planned to pack into one big suitcase and my carryon, but I had to give up a few things, as there was way too much. As it was, I had to sit on my suitcase to get it to close.

The first flight was a breeze, as I was on the aisle and the center seat was empty. The extra space was a huge luxury! However, on the second flight, I was in the very last row (right by the restroom) and crammed up against the window by a nice, but big burly guy. With fresh tattoos on his left arm that he kept scratching. I finally offered him some lotion so he'd knock it off. There was no room left in the overhead, so I managed to shove my carryon under the seat, my purse at my feet and my book and water bottle in my lap. And I could not move. Fortunately, I was exhausted and was able to sleep much of the flight.

Paul and K (our host) picked me up at Hartford airport and took me back to K's house. It was snowy and freezing outside, but K's house was toasty warm, and he's been keeping the heat going 24/7. Plus, I have a space heater in my bedroom. All that fretting about not having warm clothes? It was all for naught. I haven't set foot outside since I got here. There is plenty of food and drink here, so we haven't gone out to eat, and that's fine by me. K even made chicken soup from scratch for us yesterday, loaded with meat and veggies and noodles. Heaven. There is filtered water, coffee, fruit, nonfat milk, cereal, lots of chocolate... I am a happy girl.

Yesterday, Paul and I shot five clips, with Sarah on the camera. She has gotten very good at working the other side of the camera and with directing, plus she edits and Photoshops and everything else. I am so impressed with how skilled she is. Anyway, we did some stuff for the Spanking Compendium, plus some role-play clips that will go on Paul's Clips4Sale site. (He's got a ton of different things going and is shooting with so many different people, it makes my head spin.) He and Sarah are even traveling to the UK to shoot with the models there. They are always on the go; Paul isn't going back to his house until March. That is such a foreign concept to me, being the homebody I am. Anyway, we had lots of laughs and silliness, got some great footage and photos and Paul and Sarah said I was one of the easiest models to work with. :-D  So much for my rep of being difficult -- HA!

I was glad I brought so many varieties of outfits -- I wore five different ones yesterday alone. Tomorrow, we are shooting content for Sarah's site, so she'll be in that as well, with K on the camera. Then we'll go out for dinner tomorrow night to celebrate, and Thursday afternoon I go home.

Sorry I don't have any pictures yet, but they're all on Paul's or Sarah's camera. I will get them mailed to me and when I come home, I'll sort through them and post some.

OH! I forgot to mention, there are two dogs here. K has a 12-year-old Doberman Pinscher named Cocoa and Sarah has a Chihuahua/terrier mix named Max. I adore dogs, so I've been having such fun with these critters. Max loves to play and is always bringing me his rope toy so I'll play tug-of-war with him. Both of them love to cuddle... last night, I was lying on the couch, and Cocoa settled in at my feet and Max on my stomach. Sarah took a couple of shots of that; I have to get those as well.

That's all I have for now, but I wanted to let y'all know I'm doing well and having a great time. I'm with incredible people and I feel like a celebrity. :-)  Plus all three of them have been keeping me in stitches laughing.

Hope everyone's having a great week so far!

Miscellaneous pre-trip meanderings

Checklist: Mail and newspaper put on hold? Check. Pedicure? Check. Bangs trimmed so they're no longer in my eyes? Check Plus (now they're too short... arrgggh). Boots and shoes polished? Check. Travel sizes of toothpaste, lotion, shampoo, conditioner, etc.? Check. Shuttle to airport booked? Check.

Heading for John's tonight as per usual, but will come home tomorrow after lunch. Then it's packing time, and hoping I don't forget anything. Going to bed early, as I have to get up at 2:00 a.m on Sunday. The shuttle is picking me up at 3:30. Ugh. I'm scheduled to arrive that afternoon at 4:45, and nothing is planned for Sunday evening except getting me settled in. So I should be fine for Monday.

John seems to be doing a little bit better. He's seeing a dermatologist today, but who knows if he'll get any satisfaction. He thinks the itching is slowly, slowly fading -- we're hoping it's not wishful thinking.

I went round and round about what to bring re. warm clothing. I even went to an outdoors/sports store to check out thermal underwear, but was shocked at the prices. For one set, top and bottoms, I would have to spend between $70-$100. For something I'll never wear again?? Forget it! I bought a pair of liner gloves instead, which I'll wear under the mittens I already have. At least my hands will be warm. Lots of socks. And sweaters to wear under my unlined trench coat. Oh, and a hat, even though it's going to give me hat hair. I checked the CT forecast for Sunday -- sunny with a high of 16 degrees. How the hell can it be 16 degrees and still sunny?? Oh well, at least I don't have to worry about landing conditions.

I really hate doing this, but I think I'm going to turn on the comment moderation function just before I leave. I don't know when or how often I'll get to check in online, and I don't want to take any chances. Please know it's just temporary and it will be shut off as soon as I come home!

What else... guess I'm feeling a bit restless and prickly. On FetLife, I began a rather controversial thread in one of the forums, and I knew the Morality Police wouldn't let me down. I was (or I thought I was) fully prepared to bear up to any comments that were judgmental and narrow-minded -- I figured I'd ignore those and comment on the ones that were intelligent and thoughtful. But one woman, who is a well-known malcontent, swooped in and posted not one but two looooooong, preachy, holier-than-thou lectures. After the second one, I lost it and commented: "How does it feel to be so effing perfect that you can lecture other people about their lives?"

Ooops. My bad. I swore I wouldn't get personal with anyone and that I'd hold my cyber-tongue. Oh well. Guess I need some discipline. Big surprise there. :-D  Of course, she had to have the last word. I let her. She went on and on and on about HER truth, HER life, HER experiences (and yes, she used a lot of CAPS) and how she valued honesty and speaking her mind over being liked. Well, at least she has her priorities. :-Þ

I love you guys. I do. I know such wonderful, smart, sensitive and open-minded people. But you know, sometimes, it really boggles my mind, the level of suckage that some people achieve. Bless them... they help us recognize and appreciate the good folks even more.

And on that pearl of wisdom (rolling eyes), I will shut up. Have a great weekend, y'all. Wish me luck. Catch up with you soon!

Will it last?

Next Monday, I will be in Connecticut. Therefore, I won't be able to see New Guy. He was very concerned about this; wanted to make sure I would be well-behaved for the next two weeks, especially on my trip. So tonight, he came over at 5:00 instead of 6:30, since he'd had the day off. Had to get an early start on two weeks' worth of discipline, you see.

First, he was annoyed with me when I said I wouldn't have room in my suitcases for warm, bulky clothes, what with all the outfits I have to pack. "I'm going to be indoors, for heaven's sake," I argued.

"You don't know that," he countered. "Maybe there will be outdoor shoots. Maybe he'll have you out in the snow, making snow angels. Only in your case, they'll be snow devils." Oh, har har har. He said he'd been out naked in the snow before, after a sauna. I told him he was insane. Not the best thing to say to him, apparently. I had to apologize. Repeatedly.

"I care about you and I don't want you to be cold!" (sigh) All right, all right. I'll bring warm socks, PJs, gloves and a cap, and I'll wear my heaviest coat on the plane. OK? OK.

That was one spanking.

Since neither of us had eaten, we decided to go to a nearby deli for dinner. But not before he spanked me again to ensure I'd behave myself in the restaurant. I had to repeat several times, to strap strokes: "I will behave myself at Jerry's Deli." Well, actually, we compromised. I said that I would TRY to behave.

Of course, I didn't. He took so freaking long deciding what he was going to order, I stretched out on the booth, put my legs up, leaned against him and said I was taking a nap.

I know he was dying to let me have on the way back to the car, in the parking lot. But there were too many people around, unfortunately, so he settled for quickly bending me over the trunk and giving me three swats over my dress. I drove us back to my place, and I'd barely gotten inside and put my purse down when I was looking at the carpet again. The umbrage -- after I treated him to dinner!!

We watched a clip on my computer, the one I did for Spanking Epics a few years ago with Keith Jones and Sierra Salem, where he plays my husband and spanks Sierra and me for gossiping. When it ended...guess what? Yeah, that's right.

"That was wrong of you to gossip!" he said, putting me back over the ottoman.

"Excuse me??" I howled. "That was shot five years ago. And it was fiction! You're spanking me for fiction!"

"Maybe, but this spanking isn't fiction!" Arrrggh. No, it certainly wasn't.

How many are we up to now?

He just wouldn't put that @#$%ing paddle away. I asked him how he expected to keep his hand strong if he kept relying on the paddle.

"I don't need to keep my hand strong if I have the paddle," he smirked. "I can let the paddle do all the talking."

"Yeah, it's probably more articulate than you are," I muttered.

And that was another one. Yeah, yeah, I know. I asked for it. I still laughed through all my screeching and protesting.

But all Monday evenings must end, and reluctantly, I sent him on his way at 9:00 so he could go home and walk his dog.

Will it tide me over for two weeks? Nahhhhhh. But it certainly was a valiant effort. :-)

(smooch) See you in two weeks, sweetie.

The phrases that soothe

Much has been written about spanking "buzz phrases" by many, including myself. We all know about those words and phrases that electrify, that stop us dead in our tracks, set our hearts pounding and our stomachs lurching...the scolding, the threats, the warnings and promises.

I was thinking about this -- words before and during the spanking are well covered. But I can't recall if anyone has written about what we bottoms like to hear afterward.

Anyone who knows me, knows how I feel about aftercare. It is essential; as important a component of a good spanking scene as technique, chemistry, implement selection or anything else. Of course, aftercare means different things to different players. For some, it's sexual, which is lovely. Because I tend to be a hard player and immerse myself emotionally in a scene, my particular preference in aftercare is tenderness. My hard outer shell has been cracked off and my vulnerability exposed. The treatment I receive, in those minutes right after the spanking concludes, contains tremendous power. It can either put me back together again or crush me.

Being held and caressed, tenderly soothed, doesn't just feel good physically, it's reassuring emotionally. It makes us feel loved and forgiven. We took what we were given and we took it well. It's time for kindness.

What do you like to hear your top say during this time?

Perhaps some prefer silence, and that's OK too. I like that as well. But I do love to hear my top's voice. Quiet, kind, his words stilling my turmoil.

It doesn't have to be much; in fact, my mind is mush for a while and cannot absorb anything detailed. If I'm crying, shaking, breathing rapidly, my fists clenching and unclenching as I ride waves of emotion and pain, then something as simple as a sweetly whispered "shhhhhhhh..." will do it.

"Good girl" is always welcome. "It's OK." "It's over now." "That's my girl." Such simple words, and so invaluable.

When Danny and I were play partners, a favorite thing of his to say to me afterward was, "Is my sweet Erica back now?"

"Yes," I'd murmur, unable to look at him. I can never look up, at first. I keep my face buried.

"Good, because I love her very much," he'd reply. I could be wickedly prickly, bitchy, sarcastic and sharp-tongued, but after he took me to task, I was forgiven. And I was always loved.

Craig always called me "baby." That word, in the wrong context, can be unbearably condescending. But the way he said it, at just the right time, made me feel protected and warm, much like the fur blanket he wrapped around me those cold nights at the Lair.

New Guy's aftercare? As sweet as he is, which is very, very sweet indeed. :-)

When I hand myself over to a top, I am giving him my trust. I am, with my actions, saying, "You can inflict pain on me, and I will take it willingly. I am brave for you, because I know I am safe in your hands." Afterward, when I'm spent, throbbing and feeling laid bare, one of the most touching, loving phrases for me is "I'm so proud of you."

Yes. Thank you. I like it when I've made you proud. Hearing that, and feeling a gentle kiss on my hair, my face, a comforting hand... those are the moments where the world could end and I'd exit blissfully.

Fellow bottoms -- does this resonate? What are your beloved aftercare phrases?

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 1/14

First order of today's business -- blowing a smooch to Chross for including my followup post on caning on his list this week. And congratulations to all the others who made it! After reading some of the entries, I beefed up my Blog List.

OK, back to the morons. We begin with the tried-and-true:

Nice ass for 53!

(sigh) Oh, fuck off.

(sorry, but if he's not going to be imaginative, then neither am I.)

id luv 2 meat u sexy ;o)

I'll just bet you'd luv 2 meat me, honey. So, was that an intentional play on words, or is he simply too illiterate to know how to spell meet?

After being spanked your probably all wet I would be able to tell by the aroma that I love so well. Then I would like to lick you taste you ah the smell and taste of a woman. Mmmmm

Ah, the sound of an idiot. I'd say that I taste just like chicken, but Bonnie already brilliantly used that line this week. :-)

hi sexy how r u i would love to give u a bad ass spanking

You think I have a bad ass? Gee... some people like it.

Best for last, as usual:

I want to confess that I had a fantasy thinking about you.  I was thinking how nice it would be if i could ask you to do things and you would do them.  And you could ask me as well.  I was thinking of asking you to place your left hand on your labia, pulled up slightly and allow your clitoris to pop between your fingers on your left hand.   Then take your index finger, lick it softly, then rub ever so softly on your clitoris, making slow circles.  I am dying to know how long you could do until you couldn't stand it any more.  Sounds like fun to me.

You know, you could have consolidated all that gibberish into one sentence: I want to watch you masturbate. I applaud your flowery efforts, but the answer is still no.

This isn't a correspondence, but it's so ridiculous, I'm sharing it anyway. Every now and then I go to my Blogger Stats and check the keyword phrases, as Bonnie does for her side-splitting Keyword Chaos. Most of the time, mine are pretty straightforward and standard, but once in a while, there's something totally bizarre, like this:

bleach spanking party

Say it with me, kids... WTF? OK, I figured out that they most likely meant "beach spanking party" (Florida Moonshine). But still...

So, does one use the bleach to whiten the bottom for the next go-round? :-)

Have a great weekend, y'all.

A new adventure

I've been sitting on some news for a while, but didn't want to post about it until I was absolutely, positively sure it was going to happen. (I've gotten burned on that before, blathering on and on about something and then having it fall through -- depressing and embarrassing!) But now I know it's for real... so here goes!

Some of you may know, or have heard of Paul "Tubaman" Rogers. (Yes, he was a professional classical tuba player in his youth.) He has been in the spanking scene for many years and hosts the Texas All-State and Bottoms Up parties in Dallas. I had known of him for a long time, and finally got to meet him in person at the last Shadow Lane party. Very sweet guy, and he wrote a lovely letter to me after the party.

He's recently retired, and has immersed himself in the video scene. Having written several books (about 800 pages in all) of spanking material in an instructional vein, he decided to make a video project out of it, gathering experienced and new models to participate, and traveling all over the country, or flying models to him. He even has one of the UK models coming over to work with him. He works closely with Sarah Gregory, as they are play partners and dear friends. The ultimate intention is to amass as much footage as possible, covering the encyclopedia of spanking, and then open some web sites to showcase the material.

A couple of months ago, he wrote to me and asked if I'd like to be involved.

We exchanged several lengthy emails and discussed details. Because he is covering so many different aspects and angles, I basically had my choice of whatever struck my fancy. He sent me a loooooooong list of topics and suggested I choose ten of them, which I did. This is flexible and we may do other things, but it's a starting point.

He is flying me to Connecticut, where we will be staying in a house owned by a friend of his and Sarah's. I will have my own bedroom -- he said if that wasn't OK, he'd put me up in a hotel, but I declined that offer. I'd rather be where the action is, anyway. I crave space and privacy, but as long as I have my own room, then that's handled.

Paul will cover all my expenses and pay me for the shoots as well. He is making me feel like a celebrity -- even offered to fly me out early so he could take me to a show. I asked if I might have access to a computer so that I could keep up with things while I'm there, and he offered to buy me a laptop. (I declined that too, but wow... wasn't that nice??) He has been so complimentary as well, saying how thrilled he is that I'm going to be involved and that I'm bringing "star power" to his project.

Wow.

This has my head spinning, in a good way. And considering that my ego and feelings took a bruising recently (for reasons I will not go into here), Paul's kind words and offers have lifted my spirits greatly.

It's nice to be wanted. :-)

When Paul first contacted me about this, I was in the throes of dealing with John's illness and I didn't see how I could possibly do it. But he assured me that he was booked up until after the first of the year, and I figured (hoped) that I'd be less conflicted by then. John is stable, if still itchy, so I feel OK about leaving for a few days.

So... it's official, because I have the plane reservation in my hot little hands. I fly out on Sunday, January 23, and come back home Thursday. Connecticut in January! And I'm a California girl... I'm gonna freeze! LOL... oh well, I reckon I won't be spending all that much time outdoors. And at least one part of me will be warm.

I'll have to miss one Monday with New Guy... wish I could take him with me and get him involved in the shoots too! But one can't have everything.

Now begins the panic of planning... what do I need to pack? How many outfits can I cram into one suitcase? Make those lists! Don't forget anything! Book the shuttle to the airport! Cancel the newspaper! Hold the mail! Twenty million details!

(Can you tell that I almost never travel? I'm so unworldly about some things, I swear.)

Anyway... more details as I get them, but I am really excited. And SO pleased to be shooting once again. Every time I think my time in front of the camera is over, I discover there are people who still want to see me there.

Speaking of which, I got a holiday gift from the wonderful Lucy and Paul from Northern Spanking, with a note thanking me for working with them. Have I mentioned lately how much I adore these people??

That's enough blathering for now. Stay tuned! :-D

Thoughts on the Cane, Part 2

So after that extensive discussion on the cane last week (and thank you all for the wonderful feedback), guess what New Guy brought with him this evening??

I suppose I should have seen that coming.

I was in trouble from the outset, tonight. Do any of you who play often notice that sometimes, for reasons unknown, your tolerance is through the roof and other times, it's practically nonexistent? Tonight was the latter, for me. Everything hurt hurt HURT; things he uses every week that I can usually absorb. Even his hand hurt. Oh yeah, I was screwed. Because I still couldn't stop sassing him.

But really, how could I not? I mean, again with the damn questions! "Just once," I snapped, "just once I'd love to hear you ask a question where you don't already know the answer!" He didn't approve of that remark. How did I know that? Guess.

I had to fight hard not to scream, and I kicked so fiercely, he accidentally clouted my foot with something. "That'll teach you to keep your feet down!" he said. Ow. He was right about that. It is my humble opinion that bastinado sucks all to hell.

He had two canes -- a thin whippy one and a thicker bamboo one. UGH! I hated that effing bamboo one -- it felt like being hit with a broom handle! Of course, he probably wouldn't have used that one... except I broke the thinner one. :-D  Tsk tsk.

Stupid me, I'd told him I had a cane as well, so he made me go fetch it out of the closet. After plenty of strap and tawse, that is. After my bum was so on fire, I thought I'd set off the smoke alarm.

My finale was 20 cane strokes. I was just about ready to lose it, and I begged him after stroke three, "Please, not so fast, please..." I guess some would say that's topping from the bottom. Well, screw them. Let them take the damn caning and see how they feel about it. Anyway, good and compassionate top that New Guy is, he did slow down a bit, so I could catch my breath in between. Did I want him to slow down? Yes. Did I want him to stop? No.

Stroke 16 was low -- I think I must have said something or another that was sassy, I don't remember. I smashed my face into the pillow and screamed. Then came stroke 17... and I heard him laugh. "Well, you broke this one too."

(No worries. It's just what's called tramlines... and two hours later, they've faded. No blood.)

I'd broken two canes in one session. I've never done that before. But I didn't get to crow about it just yet. He gave me the final three cuts with that godawful bamboo cane (the only cane left!) and I started to cry.

The good kind of crying, though. The releasing kind. Oh, it hurt... but clearly, I needed the tears, even though I hadn't known it. But he knew.

Don't you worry about me. Shortly thereafter, once I'd calmed down, then it was time to crow.

In fact, I was downright hysterical.

Of course, the night was still fairly young, and we had time afterward to relax a bit. He sat on the couch and I curled up on my side and put my head in his lap. Nice, right? Cozy? But he couldn't leave well enough alone. Kept reaching out and idly swatting the one cheek he could reach. When I protested, he said, "Oh, does it hurt when I do that?"

I replied by smacking him up the back of his head and repeating, "Does it hurt when I do that?"

Round Two. So unfair.

Then he kept poking his finger onto the one low cane stripe. I responded by poking my finger into his stomach. He didn't like that, either. Sheesh! He started it!

I really don't know why I'm so damn fond of this man. But I am. For many reasons... not the least being that he's a very good sport. :-)

This session ought to hold me for a while. At least a couple of days...

Another weekend upon us

And another Chross Friday! :-) I had no idea my post on caning would end up on Chross's list, or that it would generate so many comments, both on the blog and to me privately. I love it when people engage with me and each other and we all make one another think. Again, I want to thank people for being respectful and non-combative, despite opposing opinions. We're all adults and I cannot stand flaming.

Forgot to post one picture with that entry -- for those who like facial reactions. Here's one of mine -- quite authentic, I assure you.

I don't have much to say today, really. I love the week after the holidays, when everything returns to normal. My favorite TV shows have new episodes! (see, I am easy to please) I did see a couple of holiday commercials this week, however. Uh, it's January, guys. Knock it off.

John is seeing his doctor again today, trying to get to the bottom of his rash/itching mystery (and misery). Fingers crossed.

The Spanking Awards of 2010 have been tallied, and Brushstrokes is blogging the results, one category at a time. I followed the Best Blog category, of course. Chross was wayyyyyyyy ahead of us, as expected, and there was a tight race for runner-up between The Spanking Writers and Pixie. I came in fourth, out of ten. I'm quite pleased with that, actually! :-)  Thank you so much to my voters.

(yawn) OK, I'm boring myself. Have a great weekend, y'all.

Thoughts on the cane

Who has experienced it? Who likes it, hates it, fears it? Who hasn't experienced it and thinks it's most likely the most horrible implement on earth?

The cane is a fascinating and often misunderstood implement. For some, its mention invokes images of the cane's potential brutality as showcased in Lupus/Rigid East videos, the harsh punishments in Singapore, or the painful corrections English schoolchildren have endured. But there are two things to remember about canes: 1) they are not all created equal. Like paddles and straps, they come in many different thicknesses and materials; and 2) canes are as harsh, sensual or anything in between as the individuals who wield them.

When I first got into TTWD (This Thing We Do, in case you haven't heard that abbreviation), canes terrified me. I'd seen the icky pictures and heard about how painful and punitive they were, and there was no appeal whatsoever. John, however, was experienced with them and after we'd been together a few months, he was able to convince me to let him try one on me.

We were in a friend's dungeon and I had my hands wrapped around a suspension bar over my head. I was well warmed up and I knew John wouldn't hurt me, but I was scared out of my mind. Still, my curiosity overrode the fear and I consented.

John knew all about proper technique -- about spacing the strokes, about waiting an extra few seconds to let the waves of pain settle in before applying the next stroke. And it was only six. But afterward, I burst into tears. When he tried to get me to let go of the suspension bar, he discovered that my hands were gripping it so tightly, he had to peel my fingers off one by one. Finally he got me down and took me into his lap, holding me close. I don't know why I came so completely unglued; I guess I was even more afraid than I'd thought.

How far I've come.

A cane doesn't have to cause horrible bruising, and it most definitely does not have to break skin. Used judiciously and with proper technique, it can impart pretty pink stripes in an even design.

It also can be used in a very sensual way, with a rapid tap-tap-tapping motion that warms and stings and stimulates. Throwing in a hard strike now and then when least expected adds the element of mindf***.

I've been lucky enough to play with some of the best caners, including Keith Jones. I would trust that man with anything in his hands, and he's brilliant with a cane. I have many fond memories, including one time when he had me biting on a leather paddle so I wouldn't scream. (gasp) I had marks for eight days after that scene. Ah, the good old days.

Canes are especially fun when you break them.

The more breakage, the better.

Of course, after you break them, you do have to face the wrath of the top who doesn't like losing his toys. But it's worth it. :-) Well, except when their backup cane is made of carbon fiber, as Craig's was. Holy crap, how I hated that thing!!! Unbreakable, too. Pure evil.

I suppose in a true punishment, there is no warmup and the cane is applied directly to cold skin. I experienced that once. Never again. How anyone can do that to children is beyond me... but we won't go there.

There is definitely a unique sensation with a cane. Unlike any other implement I can think of, the cane imparts a sort of double pain. First, you feel the sting of it striking the skin. Then, a second or two later, you feel a deeper pain penetrating the muscle. That's why caning too quickly or striking the same spot over and over is excruciating. Giving the bottom a second or two to catch their breath between strokes is a bit of kindness within the sadism. :-)

Overall... in the right hands, canes can be painfully delicious. And in the wrong ones, they can be pure torture. Pretty much like anything else.

Your thoughts? Experiences?

First spanking of the year!

Actually, he called and said he couldn't make it; he had to work late.



KIDDING!!! 


Sorry, couldn't resist. My bad. :-D

I was in the mood to be pushed. Not sure why, because I wasn't stressed out or anything. I didn't feel the need for an emotional release, for tears. But I wanted intensity. I wanted a challenge. I wanted... strict.

We started out OTK, as we usually do. He seemed to pick up on my need and his hand was fairly heavy from the start. But of course, I had to push. So when he said, "I don't want any of your smart remarks," I snapped back, "OK, I'll take a page from your book and make stupid remarks instead."

Hair grab. "What did you say?" A little nervous but still nervy, I squeaked, "Was I not speaking English?"

Not quite sure how I went from OTK in the dining room to on my feet and bent over the recliner in the living room; it happened in a split second. I didn't even have time to move the damn gym bag.

To quote my blogging buddy, I'm barely pink here. Not to worry. Once he got me situated over the ottoman, he hunkered down and really let me have it. But not with the wooden paddle! How about that? Nope, it was an all-leather night. Plenty hard, though.

Midway through, he commented about how Zelle had said he should use lotion on me. Of course, she meant to soothe me during aftercare! But he chose to take something lovely and comforting and create evil from it. "I'll bet if I used some now and then started again, it would hurt more, huh?" "How the hell should I know?" "Let's find out. Go get some."

I was already screwed, so I wisely resisted the urge to say, "Get it yourself." I fetched the bottle of lotion from my bathroom and gave it to him, and he rubbed in a generous amount. That felt wonderful... for about two minutes. And then it was back to the heavy straps and his belt. And yes, it hurt more. Aggggggghhhhhh.

Oh, he was so proud of himself and his little discovery. He couldn't stop crowing about it. When he gleefully said, "And my hands are going to be so nice and soft!", I'd had it. "It'll match your head," I muttered.

Everything after that is a blur....

Well, I'd asked for it.

But he did use the lotion for goodness instead of rottenness afterward. :-) Aftercare was very soothing and sweet. For a while. Then I shot my mouth off again as soon as I'd come back down a bit.

(sigh)  I never learn.

He pinned me to the carpet with my hands behind my back and his legs trapping my own. I could not move... and he let me know quite persuasively that it's not a good idea to recover and revert to smart-assed-ism right away. No, not a good idea at all.

But damn, was it ever hot.

Thus begins a sizzling new year. Oww. And yummmmmmmmm. ;-)


Big ol' meanie....



Greetings in 2011

Happy New Year, everyone. As you know, January 2 is one of my favorite days, because it signifies the end of all this holiday sh...er, nonsense for another year. :-Þ  Did everyone have a nice Eve? Any resolutions? I do not make them, myself. I used to. Especially when I was in my 20s and still a virgin. I remember writing in my journal every freaking December 31: "Goal for 19XX: Get laid." Well, it seemed of utmost importance at the time.

I vaguely recall my father, back in the day, sneeringly referring to New Year's Eve as "amateur night." I guess I could see where he was coming from; the folks who used a calendar date once a year to get plastered must have looked silly to hard-partying sorts like my dad and his cronies who did that every weekend. Who would have thought his daughter would turn out to be such a lightweight! Well, at least I stayed awake until midnight, which is more than I could say for John.

As I drove up the winding canyon road to his house, I kept seeing signs tacked onto trees, with "NYE Party" and arrows drawn on them. I saw at least a half-dozen of those and thought, "Wow, someone's having a blowout." Then I reached John's... and saw that the blowout was next door. (groan) When John's neighbor has a party, it's like being next door to a rave. Oh well. So much for a peaceful evening!

We made the best of it -- went out for a nice dinner, came home and lit a fire. I'd brought a movie, but John fell asleep on the couch around 10, so I put the DVD aside and channel-surfed. I don't really like the NYE specials. I mean, how many more years are they going to resurrect poor old Dick Clark from the dead, prop him up in a chair and have him slur the countdown to midnight? So I surfed around for a while and then Eureka! Twilight Zone marathon!

Yes, folks. You know you're getting up there when you spend New Year's Eve watching a marathon of a show that's as old as you are. And extra geek points for actually being jazzed when you see an episode you've never seen before. I mean, that so rarely happens!

So anyway, after watching the kid talk to his dead grandma on a toy telephone and people in a diner accuse each other of being Martians and that poor nervous wreck of a woman running into a creepy hitchhiker everywhere she goes, it was nearly midnight, so I woke John and he went and opened our champagne. That part was quite lovely. :-) I was with the man I love more than anyone else in the world, and he was well. A bit lumpy and itchy, and not out of the woods, but very much alive.

We drank our champagne and stayed up watching TV until nearly 2:00 a.m., putting off the inevitable (trying to sleep with the racket next door). They kept it up until 4:30. But Saturday was blissfully, blessedly quiet. Not one peep from the neighbor -- even his dogs didn't bark. :-) They probably knew they'd split his head wide open if they did.

So it was a nice weekend. The only part that made me a bit sad was when I called my mother to wish her happy New Year. "Oh, I'm so glad you called," she said. "I've been so worried about the kids. Do you know what's happening with everyone, have you heard anything from Erica, from Kenneth?" "Mom, I'm Erica." "Oh, you're Erica! That's great... I'm so happy to hear that. What about the others... how is Ken?"

Ken... my brother. The one who's been dead since 1972. Oh, Mom.

"Mom, Ken's gone." "Oh, I'm all mixed up. Who else? Aren't there other children -- isn't there a baby? Who am I missing?" "No one, Mom. It's just me." "Just you? And you're OK?" "Yeah, Mom, I'm fine." "Oh well, that's wonderful then."

(sigh)

Enough of that. The year ended on a good note. On the 30th, I even got some surprise year-end residual checks from my father's work, which more than made up for having nearly no work the past couple of months.

Thanks, Dad. Still looking out for me, aren't you.

New episode of Desperate Housewives tonight, and first spanking of 2011 tomorrow! :-D  See? Contrary to popular belief, I'm really not all that hard to please.