PLEASE NOTE: This blog contains adult subjects and content, and because of Google/Blogger's recent nonsense, I HAVE MOVED TO WORDPRESS. For my enlightened friends who wish to visit me in my new home, it's https://ericalscott.wordpress.com. Please bookmark it!

The rest of you? Please take your judge-y selves somewhere more wholesome, like here: www.wonderbread.com

Go on.... shoo!



Friday, June 28, 2013

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 6/28

Been a while since I had one of these! I figured we could use a few snickers after all the aggravation over Blogger and its capricious decisions. I have decided that it's not as drastic as it originally sounded and it's more about advertising and making money than adult content, but I guess we'll all find out. Meanwhile, I have exported my blog into a file on my hard drive, and I created a WordPress account and imported all my posts/comments there for safekeeping, just in case. However, what with my loathing of change, I won't be switching over unless I have to.

Enough of that; time for a little fun.

if you like seeing guys cum on cam you should watch me =) id like to bust for you!

That poor Cam person, still out there with strangers wanking all over him. No, I don't want to watch. Go bust your other head.

The next two are from women!

I would lick your sexy wrinkled soles and tongue your ass like there is no tomorrow!

There will be no tomorrow for you, honey, if you bring that tongue anywhere near my ass.

I suppose this is technically a compliment, but it needs work. It was posted on one of my FetLife videos, by a girl of 19:

At first this was weird 'cause you are so far from my age.. But then it was just cute cause you're awesome and funny.

Thank you...I think. The second sentence gave me a nice piece of cake, but the first sentence sorta pooped on it. You're still young, sweetie. Learn how to give a proper compliment.

What a wonderful bottom, soft and juicy and todger throbbingly arousing...

Although I've never heard that term before, I think I can figure out what todger means. Soft and juicy?? You make my butt sound like an overripe persimmon. It's your todger that's soft, methinks.

Your pics make me soul and cock ache

Nothing worse than a Cockney with a cockache.

And finally -- what haven't I gotten for a while? One of those long-winded form letters that have zero to do with what I'm seeking. Feast your eyes.

I am 60 …the picture on my ALT profile is not me… I am very careful in my online activities….If a relationship develops I will provide u with pictures and everything about me before u make any decision. The words in my ALT profile do describe my life as a Dom and my likes/dislikes..

On a personal level I have been active in business investments…retired lawyer by background ……… fortunately I have been very successful .... back in the world of d/s for the first time in 3 years..... I am married…..3 grown children each married with children...... my ALT profile discloses that.... unfortunately my wife is recovering from breast cancer.... in remission... but I had given up my d/s to care for her.....during our marriage she was never interested in d/s.... strictly vanilla.....a wonderful relationship but she told me early to pursue my "kinks" away from her and our children. I did so discretely.... quietly but I love bdsm.... I have had 3 part time slaves over my 20 years of D/s and BDSM involvement. I am fortunate enough to afford them. I have been unable to spend more than part time with any....spending a few nights here and there but mainly during the day.... my slaves don't work at a outside job as they need to meet my schedule. I will allow for a slave to pursue a job or schooling but it is built around our D/s time schedule I allow them to have outside relationships because it is only fair..... safe sex...etc. I prefer for my slaves to have female lovers because I enjoy occasionally watching but I do permit male lovers if I approve of them. All of my former slaves have found (with my help and approval) the “love of their lives…. They all have children…. I am part of their lives as “Daddy”.

I do have strict rules…..I have online relationships with a number of slave “prospects”….I will not support them financially until they are physically under my control. I am very careful in dealing with slaves over the internet…. I don’t use western union, money gram , money pak or any wire transfer. My preference is to have a USPS mail delivery address and send Cash through overnight delivery. If u and I develop a relationship, I would set up a checking account for u and make deposits into that account for ur support.

If my email interests u I will chat with u on ym and email and get to know u better

Master Xxxxxx

(clutching my head) I'd forgotten just how much these make my brain ache.

Dear Idiot: I don't care how much money you have, or how you will send it to me. There isn't enough money in the world to entice me to have anything to do with you. I have the love of my life (a male, thank you), plus the world's best top, and I don't need your approval for either of them. I just wasted several minutes of my precious time reading this blather, and yet you apparently didn't spend a nanosecond reading any of my profile. Go. Away.

Speaking of the CHoS, here's the latest on the book. I received a reading proof in the mail last week, so I read it thoroughly and made a few tweaks. Plus, I didn't like how the cover looked, so I revamped that a bit, then resubmitted everything. Yesterday, they contacted me to let me know the changes had been approved and they were sending me another proof, which I should get in a couple of days. If it looks good, then I give them the green light, and it goes on sale! Fingers crossed. :-)

Have a great weekend, y'all.

23 comments:

  1. Yeah, but maybe just maybe your new MASTER will permit you to stay with John and will give you unlimited funds to attend ALL national spanking parties year round.
    Of course you will be showcasing your suddenly developed F/F topping expertise...at his command! :)

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  2. Kelly -- (sigh) It's a shame, really. If I had a stronger stomach, plus the ability to disengage emotionally, just think of how wealthy I could be!

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  3. Erica, why don't you author another book called "Correspondence Hall of Shame". subtitled "A Fetish Blogger's Red Letter Day". XXX Luv ya.

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  4. Erica, another subtitle, for the book. "Letter's from Arshholes"

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  5. Six -- Well... except for the subtitle, that's exactly what I'm about to publish. :-) My subtitle is "One Woman's Adventures with Online Idiocy."

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  6. Erica, normally I love your CHoS posts but this one hurt me deeply. I killed precious brain cells reading that moronic letter from that idiot so-called Dom. I can't afford to lose any more brain cells. As it is when I shake my head those last few brain cells rattle around like pebbles in a beer can. You'll be receiving a bill from my neurologist very shortly, young lady.

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  7. Also, can't wait to read your new book. Am currently rereading your wonderful book "What Happens To Naughty Girls" and plan to do a review.
    Season has read "Late Bloomer" and LOVED your story, and I will be reading that one too.

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  8. Michael -- oh, dear. Well, no problem! I'll just pass your bill onto Mr. Moneybags and let him take care of it. ;-)

    And thank you for reading my books! I'm glad you're both enjoying them.

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  9. Hi Erica -- OMG you are so freaking funny LOL :-) My Dad heard me laughing,he asked me what was so funny, I said I was reading Ericas blog.He said oh LOL. Those IDIOTS that write to you are so under educated LMAO :-) Wishing you and John a nice weekend.Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade. PS. I can't wait to read your new book

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  10. Jade -- always glad to make you laugh.

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  11. "todger throbbingly arousing"

    At least there was some originality there. Not that you need me to tell you I am sure, but todger is indeed British slang for Penis.

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  12. Erica, you always make me laugh when I read your CHoS! Oh, and I am sure the guy's todger is rather flaccid. LOL

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  13. Thanks Erica for a good laugh.

    @Richard thank you for the explanation.

    Hug,
    joey

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  14. Thanks, Richard, for providing the definition of "todger". I know that "rogering" is a British synonym for making love, so does a Brit roger with his todger?

    I love the letter from the lawyer/Dom. So concerned with the money transfer methods, I'll bet he lives in Nigeria.

    Good news about the book. I'm looking forward to reading it.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  15. Ahhh.. the good old "be my slave" copy and pasted letter....

    I once had an offer to be a man's slave in a cabin in the woods, far away from civilization... But your offer included cash! I'm jealous!

    :-p

    otkdesire

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  16. Rich -- yup, thought so! :-D

    Bobbie Jo -- just think, a whole book of this!

    joey -- love making my friends laugh.

    Hermione -- ROFL!!

    Dana -- right? Persimmons are disgusting! (love you too)

    Otkd -- I don't suppose that cabin had plumbing, either. Part of the humiliation factor, watching you go in the woods? Agggghhhhhh.

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  17. Unlike Michael, I just barely skimmed that damn letter.

    As for the FL comment, I'd just go with it as a compliment. I feel that's what she was aiming for. Appreciate directly, avoid the rest.

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  18. Craig -- I know what you're saying. But the guys who say "I look great for my age" mean it as a compliment as well. She really needed to leave off the first sentence.

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    Replies
    1. She did. I agree. But...since she's 19...

      I guess we all can use whatever compliments we can get. I'm not say "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." I get what your'e saying. I'm just saying I really don't think she meant it negatively.

      When I was 19 I could barely compose a sentence.

      Delete
  19. Too much Erica but I love these posts, I laugh my ass off, people are just nuts and love the stupidity but they are funny when reading like this with your commentary, love it
    ALways
    Ron

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  20. "Sexy wrinkled soles." WTF? Where do these people come from?

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  21. Lea -- you don't really want to know, do you?

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