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Monday, June 10, 2013

I hate colds

Hate hate HATE them! (like anyone loves them, right?) Arrgh.

Felt one coming on Friday afternoon. I called John and said, "I think I'm getting sick. Maybe I shouldn't come over." Nooooooooooo, he said. "I don't want to give you anything!" I protested. "You always get so much sicker than I do." He insisted that he would catch colds from the office anyway, and he missed me and wanted me to come over. I probably should have stuck to my guns, but John was persistent. And dammit, I wanted to see him too.

So I spent the weekend at his place. We had to cancel our visit to my stepdad, though, which really bummed me out. But there was no way I'm going to expose a 95-year-old man to cold germs -- that could kill him. So we did very little, just hung out. John took me out for comfort food: wonton soup, Japanese udon (noodles). Yesterday, I woke up with a raging headache and a ridiculous amount of pressure in my right ear, which kept popping as if I were on a plane. I told John I felt like my head was going to explode and my brains would come shooting out my ear. (Lovely imagery, huh?) Fortunately, as soon as I was able to eat something and take some Advil, the pain ebbed. John was worried about me. "The sparkle's gone out of your eyes," he said. 

Came home; managed to get some sleep, despite middle-of-the-night coughing fits. But of course, seeing Steve is out of the question. So is the gym. 

So let's review: one crappy little germ is not only making me miserable, but it deprived my stepdad of his visit, will most likely make John sick as well, kept me from my Steve fix and won't let me work out. What suckage! Steve wanted to know if he could bring some chicken soup or something and drop it off on my doorstep. But I don't need anything; I went to the store yesterday and bought groceries. So I don't want him bothering with that, although the offer was nice.

Here's the good news: At least I don't have to worry about calling in sick at a job and feeling guilty. This morning, I recalled a time about 20 years ago when I had gotten sick, then developed a secondary infection and had to miss about a week of work. Apparently, my boss had had to do all the proofreading, and they'd gotten swamped while I was gone.

When I finally came back, still feeling pretty weak, I was shocked at what I found at my desk. It looked like a cyclone had struck there. Everything was out of place, papers piled up all over, Post-it notes plastered everywhere. There were messy marked-up proofs strewn about, with my boss's Post-its on them: "See what you missed while you were gone?" "See what we had to deal with?" Another note, written in angry slashes: "You are not allowed to get sick EVER AGAIN!" But that wasn't the worst of it.

Our company "mascot" was a giraffe, as our slogan was "We're heads above the rest!" So we all had a little giraffe plush toy for our desks. My desk was right in front of a window with blinds, and as I surveyed the wreckage, my eye fell on the blinds and my blood froze. My boss had taken my giraffe and cut through its neck, leaving just a small piece intact. Then she'd wrapped the blind cord around the giraffe's semi-severed neck and left it hanging. And below that, another note was taped: "Yes, I got a little stressed out while you were gone."

Say it with me, kids: What a psycho! And people wonder why I refuse to go back to office work. 

So today, R & R. And hopefully quick recovery. I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

19 comments:

  1. Boy! What a jerk of a boss. I am being nice.

    I hope you will get over this dang thing sooner than later. It is so irritating that a cold will affect others besides the one who has it.

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  2. Total jerk boss, hope you feel better, pouring here again and allergies killing me which usually leads to a cold.....I hate them too.
    Always
    Ron

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  3. Bobbie Jo -- she was beyond a jerk; she was certifiable!

    Ron -- no rain here. I'm taking care and hoping to be rid of this soon.

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  4. Erica, I think your last BOSS that you had 20 years ago, needed 'a you know what' across her bare backside, for cutting your ever loving giraffe's neck. Times they are changing. Look what happaned over the weekend. "Kinky Boots", received 6 count them 6 Broadway Tony Awards. Among them Best Musical of the Year, and Best Male star. Let us hope the public starts liking more 'fetish' ways. Such as Us Spanko's. XXX Luv ya,

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  5. OOFF!
    Fully agree with six. Is she still around? ;-)

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  6. Six -- no, that was too good for her. What she really needed was a straitjacket.

    MrJ -- have no idea. It was a long time ago.

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  7. Maybe 24 of the best and then the straitjacket. The heat would have lasted a lot longer.

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  8. My gosh, I would have quit right then and there! That would have freaked me out too! It sounds like your ear is a little infected if its hurting when it pops. I always used peroxide in my ears when I use to swim and would get swimmers ear. I hope you feel better soon! - Sammie

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  9. Woooooow! Psycho, indeed! That's supercrazy!

    Feel better soon!

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  10. Sammie -- the pain is gone now; just a sense of fullness, which is typical with my colds. I remember getting swimmer's ear as a kid -- not fun!

    Craig -- I know, right? She was a truly frightening woman. Fortunately, she sold out her half of the company and left. The remaining partner was a cheapskate and an ass, but at least he wasn't psychotic.

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  11. I know that people say the best revenge is a life well-lived, but it's hard to not wish bad things on people like your past boss. OTOH, too many good things about a spanking to waste on someone like that :) Glad you're looking at her in the rearview mirror!

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  12. Anonymous -- I seem to have had bad luck with bosses. She wasn't even the worst one I've ever had! LOL

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  13. Aww, colds are the worst! I hate not being able to breathe properly. Good for you for not putting your stepdad in danger. I hope John didn't pick up the virus.

    Hope you are feeling better soon.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  14. Hi Erica -- Colds truly SUCK :-( I hope you get well VERY soon.I been having problems with my ears hurting and popping since January. That's no fun at all.I agree that your boss was a psycho YIKES. Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade

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  15. Hermione -- thanks, I hope so too! This cold is the pits.

    Jade -- thanks, dear.

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  16. Sorry you're sick and having ear pain on top of that. That is HELL!

    Office work sucks C@!k. BIGTIME! I HATE that I feel trapped in that "career". When the work is actually available that is.

    Get well soon!

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  17. Kelly -- the good news is, I don't have an ear infection. Saw the doc today, after an especially bad night with this damn thing.

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  18. Wow, your former boss sounds nuts! Whether it's being sick or just taking vacation, I hate feeling like I don't even want the time away knowing it'll be that much more of a mess when I get back to work. Hope you're feeling better.

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  19. Lea -- oh, she was certifiable. And yes, it's dreadful coming back to a huge mess. One of the reasons why I hated taking time off.

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