Correspondence Hall of Shame, 6/28

Been a while since I had one of these! I figured we could use a few snickers after all the aggravation over Blogger and its capricious decisions. I have decided that it's not as drastic as it originally sounded and it's more about advertising and making money than adult content, but I guess we'll all find out. Meanwhile, I have exported my blog into a file on my hard drive, and I created a WordPress account and imported all my posts/comments there for safekeeping, just in case. However, what with my loathing of change, I won't be switching over unless I have to.

Enough of that; time for a little fun.

if you like seeing guys cum on cam you should watch me =) id like to bust for you!

That poor Cam person, still out there with strangers wanking all over him. No, I don't want to watch. Go bust your other head.

The next two are from women!

I would lick your sexy wrinkled soles and tongue your ass like there is no tomorrow!

There will be no tomorrow for you, honey, if you bring that tongue anywhere near my ass.

I suppose this is technically a compliment, but it needs work. It was posted on one of my FetLife videos, by a girl of 19:

At first this was weird 'cause you are so far from my age.. But then it was just cute cause you're awesome and funny.

Thank you...I think. The second sentence gave me a nice piece of cake, but the first sentence sorta pooped on it. You're still young, sweetie. Learn how to give a proper compliment.

What a wonderful bottom, soft and juicy and todger throbbingly arousing...

Although I've never heard that term before, I think I can figure out what todger means. Soft and juicy?? You make my butt sound like an overripe persimmon. It's your todger that's soft, methinks.

Your pics make me soul and cock ache

Nothing worse than a Cockney with a cockache.

And finally -- what haven't I gotten for a while? One of those long-winded form letters that have zero to do with what I'm seeking. Feast your eyes.

I am 60 …the picture on my ALT profile is not me… I am very careful in my online activities….If a relationship develops I will provide u with pictures and everything about me before u make any decision. The words in my ALT profile do describe my life as a Dom and my likes/dislikes..

On a personal level I have been active in business investments…retired lawyer by background ……… fortunately I have been very successful .... back in the world of d/s for the first time in 3 years..... I am married…..3 grown children each married with children...... my ALT profile discloses that.... unfortunately my wife is recovering from breast cancer.... in remission... but I had given up my d/s to care for her.....during our marriage she was never interested in d/s.... strictly vanilla.....a wonderful relationship but she told me early to pursue my "kinks" away from her and our children. I did so discretely.... quietly but I love bdsm.... I have had 3 part time slaves over my 20 years of D/s and BDSM involvement. I am fortunate enough to afford them. I have been unable to spend more than part time with any....spending a few nights here and there but mainly during the day.... my slaves don't work at a outside job as they need to meet my schedule. I will allow for a slave to pursue a job or schooling but it is built around our D/s time schedule I allow them to have outside relationships because it is only fair..... safe sex...etc. I prefer for my slaves to have female lovers because I enjoy occasionally watching but I do permit male lovers if I approve of them. All of my former slaves have found (with my help and approval) the “love of their lives…. They all have children…. I am part of their lives as “Daddy”.

I do have strict rules…..I have online relationships with a number of slave “prospects”….I will not support them financially until they are physically under my control. I am very careful in dealing with slaves over the internet…. I don’t use western union, money gram , money pak or any wire transfer. My preference is to have a USPS mail delivery address and send Cash through overnight delivery. If u and I develop a relationship, I would set up a checking account for u and make deposits into that account for ur support.

If my email interests u I will chat with u on ym and email and get to know u better

Master Xxxxxx

(clutching my head) I'd forgotten just how much these make my brain ache.

Dear Idiot: I don't care how much money you have, or how you will send it to me. There isn't enough money in the world to entice me to have anything to do with you. I have the love of my life (a male, thank you), plus the world's best top, and I don't need your approval for either of them. I just wasted several minutes of my precious time reading this blather, and yet you apparently didn't spend a nanosecond reading any of my profile. Go. Away.

Speaking of the CHoS, here's the latest on the book. I received a reading proof in the mail last week, so I read it thoroughly and made a few tweaks. Plus, I didn't like how the cover looked, so I revamped that a bit, then resubmitted everything. Yesterday, they contacted me to let me know the changes had been approved and they were sending me another proof, which I should get in a couple of days. If it looks good, then I give them the green light, and it goes on sale! Fingers crossed. :-)

Have a great weekend, y'all.